Blossoms of Love

  Suddenly she was having a harder time breathing. David called a nurse. She turned the oxygen up higher. Natalie closed her eyes. She was motionless but she was still breathing.

  After four hours of constant watching, David went out of the room to get them some coffee. When he came up the hall to go in the room he met Roy going in. David said, “You’re not going in there.” Roy looked at David, “I’m her husband, I have a right.” David said, “The hell you say! You’ve never been a husband to her. You get your ass back in that waiting room or I’ll knock you there.” Lamont heard David’s loud voice, he opened the door, “Dave!” David pushed Roy out of his way as he went in Natalie’s room. Roy went to the waiting room.

  When David was in the room and shut the door Lamont said, “Hey bud, you’ll get us thrown out of here.” David said as he handed Lamont a cup of coffee, “I want to hit that son-of-a-bitch so bad I can taste it.” Lamont said, “Let it go Dave. The damage is already done.” David said, “I know Nat doesn’t want to see him. As long as I’m here she won’t have to. Any change?” Lamont answered, “Not any. I thought I’d let her rest for a while then I’ll talk to her again.” David said, “If anyone can get her to fight for her life, you can.” Lamont gave a long sigh, “I’m afraid she’s not gonna listen to anyone. She has her mind made up.” David put his coffee cup down and his voice broke when he said, “Damn it Monty, she’s slowly slipping out of this world.”

  About an hour later Dora came into the room, “Any change?” David answered, “None.” Lamont got up and quietly went out of the room. He walked down the hall to a window at the end and looked out. It was afternoon. Nurses were coming and going. It was time for the afternoon shift. Even though it was the middle of January, it was warm and beautiful. Since he was on the seventh floor, he could see the ocean far in the distance. He remembered how Natalie loved the beach. His thoughts went back to when he first saw her. How lovely and carefree she was. Always laughing, joking, and talking all the time. They were both so young then. She was just a senior in high school and he was nineteen. A siren far away came closer to the hospital. He saw the flashing lights. A block away the driver cut the siren off.

  Lamont went back to Natalie’s room. He could see Natalie’s whole family in the waiting room. Mr. Agar looked crushed and defeated. Lamont wondered if he could take what was ahead, for he was sure Natalie wasn’t going to make it. He opened the door. He heard Dora tell David, “She’s resting now. I’m taking Mother and Dad home for a while. Dad has got to rest.”

  Soon the doctor came in the room. He looked at the chart. David asked, “Any changes?” The doctor said, “I’m afraid not Mr. Agar. She needs that operation. I can’t do it until she gets stronger.” Lamont could see David was really getting shook up. He suggested, “Why don’t you go get us something to eat?” David said, “Yea, I need to get out of here for a few minutes.”

  After David left, Natalie began to fight at the tent over her. She called, “Monty—Monty” Lamont took her hand in his, “I’m right here honey.” She opened her eyes and then closed them. She seemed to go back into a deep sleep.

  Suddenly, Lamont felt trapped. If Natalie lived, she was going to expect him to love her again. He didn’t love her, not anymore. Not the kind of love she would want. Barbara was the woman he loved. Barbara and Robbie were his life. He thought, if she lives he would deal with that when the time came.

  The evening shift came on duty. This day had been so very long for Lamont. He wished he was back in Montana.

  David and Lamont decided they would take turns sleeping in the big chair by the bed. Dora, Ralph, and Mrs. Agar came back to the hospital. Mr. Agar wasn’t able to come back. Roy didn’t come back. He decided he would wait until morning to come to the hospital. David said, “I talked to Dora a few minutes ago. They had to put Dad to bed. He was feeling weak. If Nat doesn’t pull through this soon, we’ll have to put Dad in the hospital too.” Lamont said, “Yea, I know. He sure looks done in.”

  Mrs. Agar came into the room. She looked down at her daughter. David wondered if she felt guilty because she’d never given Natalie much affection. She went over to David and said very low, “Roy will be back in the morning. I want you to behave yourself and not give him any trouble. You can’t stop a man from seeing his wife.” David said, “I can and I will. Just keep him out of this room.” “He’s a lawyer. He can have you put out of here. I just don’t want any trouble,” Mrs. Agar said. “Just let him try,” replied David. Mrs. Agar looked at Lamont, “See if you can talk some sense into him.” Then she left the room.

  Lamont said, “You can’t keep him out of here Dave.” David said, “Maybe I can’t but I can knock the hell out of him when he does come in.” Lamont said, “Okay, so you knock the hell out of him, then you’ll be in trouble. What difference does it make if he does come in?” David said, “It makes a difference to me.”

  By midnight the hospital was very quiet. Once in a while you could hear a nurse going up the hall. The nurse came in the room often and took Natalie’s temperature and blood pressure.

  Tomorrow her baby would be buried. A little girl that only had two hours of life on this earth. Natalie didn’t know the baby died.

  David went to sleep. Lamont went to the window and stared out into the dark and began remembering again. This time his thoughts went to the Agars. All those wild parties they had. How different they were from his parents. His father or mother didn’t drink anything pertaining to liquor. Of course, their lifestyles were so different. They were hard working people who didn’t have the time or money to have parties and buy liquor. It seemed the whole Agar family thrived on parties and social affairs. David changed when he went to Montana. He saw what real living was. He found out what closeness and love was in a family. David knew that was what he wanted out of life and he grabbed it. Natalie didn’t. Lamont remembered how happy he was when the house was being built. To Natalie, it was just a building. He gave her his love, she either didn’t know how to accept it or it wasn’t enough for her.

  Lamont went over to the bed and looked down at her and thought, “I gave you everything I had Natalie and you took it, even my honor and pride. That wasn’t enough. If I had given you a child, would that have been enough? No, I don’t think so. I gave to you until you stripped me clean and you didn’t care. God, Natalie what did you want? Whatever it is, you haven’t found it and now you’ve given up.”

  David woke about three a.m. Lamont settled in the chair and closed his eyes.

  When Lamont woke, he saw David looking down at Natalie. It hurt him to see David hurting so much. He loved David as much as he did his brothers.

  Another day was being born. Lamont stood at the window and watched the sun come up. How often he had seen the sun rise in so many different places. But to Lamont, the most beautiful sight was being in the mountains of Montana with only the sound of wild animals, some moving around as the sun would rise.

  David went for more coffee and saw Barbara. She was in the waiting room where Mrs. Agar and Dora were. David asked, “When did you get here?” Barbara said, “About an hour ago.” David asked, “How is Carolyn?” Barbara said, “She is just fine. Mom Ellman is staying with her and the kids. How is Natalie?” David sighed, “No change. She just lies there with her eyes closed. She won’t fight back to get better. I’ll go tell Monty you’re here.”

  When David went back in the room Mrs. Agar said, “So you’re Monty’s wife.” Barbara smiled, “Yes and you are Dave’s mother. He looks a lot like you.” Dora said, “I’m Dave’s oldest sister.” Barbara said, “You and Natalie look alike.” Mrs. Agar said, “Monty really surprised all of us when he married again. Barbara could see Mrs. Agar was a real snob. Mrs. Agar said, “Monty didn’t get the divorce. He was hanging onto the hope he and Natalie would get back together. They just weren’t suited for each other. If Monty hadn’t taken her to that God forsaken country, maybe they could have been happy.” Barbara wanted to defend Lamont, “One reason Monty didn’t
get the divorce sooner was because he was somewhere in the South Pacific, a prisoner of war for nearly two years and you’re perfectly right Mrs. Agar, Monty and Natalie weren’t suited for each other. In a marriage, both have to give and take.” Lamont came out of the room before Mrs. Agar could say anything.

  When Barbara saw him, she met him in the hall. He put his arm around her and kissed her, “Hello baby.” Barbara said, “You look so tired.” They walked to the elevator. They would eat breakfast together in the cafe downstairs.

  As they began to eat, Lamont noticed Barbara was angry. He asked, “What’s wrong honey?” Barbara sighed, “Mrs. Agar.” Barbara told him what she said. Lamont said, “Don’t pay any attention to her. I just ignore her.” Barbara said, “I think she’s a horses ass.”

  Barbara was worried about Lamont. He looked so tired. She was afraid by him not getting the proper rest, a siege of the fever might come back. Barbara asked, “Is Natalie going to make it?” Lamont said, “I don’t think so. She won’t try. I noticed a difference in her breathing just a few minutes ago. Barbara said, “Oh Monty, it’s so terrible for anyone to want to die.” Barbara ate the last of her egg, “Where are you staying?” Lamont said, “Here. Dave and I are staying with her around the clock.” Barbara said, “You’re not getting enough rest. Monty it could cause you to have a siege of the fever.” Lamont said, “I can’t leave Dave to sit alone.” Barbara knew it wasn’t just David he didn’t want to leave, even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself. It was Natalie. Barbara said, “You’ve done all you can do. Let’s go back home.” Lamont said, “Baby I can’t do that. That woman upstairs needs help. Somehow, some way Dave and I are going to have to reach her.” Barbara said, “She won’t listen to either of you.” Lamont got annoyed, “Barbara I don’t expect you to understand but I’ve got to be here in case she needs me. Just maybe I can help her. Dave is in a bad way, he needs me now. I can’t leave him seeing her die and listening to Mrs. Agar’s remarks. He already threatens to throw Natalie’s husband out of the room if he tries to come in.” Barbara asked, “What do you want me to do?” Lamont said, “Go back home. Robbie needs you to be there.” Barbara sighed, “Alright Monty. I’ll go back today.” He could see the disappointment on her face. He reached out and put his hand over hers, “Look baby, there is nothing I wouldn’t like better than to go back with you but I just can’t.” Barbara looked at him until their eyes met, “Monty are you sure there’s not another reason why you want to stay?” Lamont said, “There is no other reason.”

  Barbara called the airport. It would be three and a half hours before she could get a flight. She went back upstairs with Lamont. No one was in the waiting room. He pulled her in his arms and kissed her tenderly. He said softly, “I love you.”

  Then he went in Natalie’s room. Barbara sat down on one of the chairs in the waiting room. She was glad none of the Agars were there. She thought, “Will Natalie always stand between them? Even if she dies, will her ghost always be there? Would it be a good idea to take her son to raise. He would always be a constant reminder, but it was too late. The papers were sighed.” Her thoughts were interrupted by two nurses hurrying in Natalie’s room.

  They worked with her for twenty minutes and finally got her breathing some better. Lamont came out of the room with the nurses. He went over to Barbara standing in the door of the waiting room. She asked, “Is she worse?” Lamont answered, “I thought she was gone there for a few minutes. She’s breathing better now.”

  A nurse came over to them, “Are you Mrs. Barbara Ellman?” Barbara nodded her head. The nurse said, “I am to give you this message. Mrs. Dorothy Ellman said Carolyn is doing fine and she has a six pound girl.” Barbara thanked the nurse. Lamont said, “I’d better go in and tell Dave.”

  Davie smiled, “Another girl. I was wishing for a boy but another daughter will be nice.” Lamont said, “I’m going with Barbara to the airport in an hour. She’s going back this evening.”

  Suddenly Natalie began grasping for breath. David rang for the nurse. The oxygen was turned up as high as it would go. Two nurses came in. One began working with her and the other went to call the doctor. It was only seconds until he was there. After he examined her he turned to David, “You better call everyone in.” David looked at Lamont, “Oh God no!” The nurse asked, “Would you like for me to call them for you?” David said, “Yes please.”

  David took her hand, “Nat, it’s Dave.” She opened her eyes, “It’s time –Dave” David begged, “No, don’t go sis.” She asked, “Where----is—Mo—nty?” Lamont said, “I’m here.” She slowly turned her head until she could see him. “Mon---ty—kiss Jimmy for---me. I’m—glad you’re—here. I wa—nt to---talk to you be---fore I---close my eyes---forever.” She took a deep breath, “My life has---been running through—my mind. Monty—I just realized—there’s a---time for everything. A time to be---born, a time to ---work, a time to---play, a time to cry, ---a time to ---laugh, a time ----to love and---a time to die. My---time has come----to die.” Monty said, “Nat, you’ve got to fight. To have the will to live.” She tired to smile, “It’s my -----time to die. I don’t---mind. My---baby is ---dead.---I heard the----doctor ---tell---the nurse. I can----almost feel the ----peacefulness----that comes---with death. I have----asked God to----forgive me for---being---so---wicked.” She looked up until her eyes met his, “Forgive---me for---the pain I’ve----caused---you.” Lamont said, “You’re forgiven.” “Tell Jimmy---I love---him.” Lamont took her hand in his. Her fingers tried to grip his hand, “Thank you---Monty---for—loving---me.-----I----love----you.” She drew one long, deep breath and then Lamont felt her fingers letting go of his hand. Her eyes were closed. He knew she was dead. Lamont looked at David. His face told him she was gone.

  The doctor examined her then turned to David, “I’m sorry. She just wouldn’t help me. I did all I could.” The doctor just shook his head and continued, “I believed an operation would have been successful.” The nurse cut the oxygen off and pulled the sheet over her face after taking away the tent. Lamont stood quietly looking down at her. David said, “You know Monty, she actually looks peaceful, as if she had found what she was looking for.” Lamont said, “Maybe she has Dave.”

  Lamont put his arm around David’s shoulder and just as they went out of the room, the whole Agar family, except Mr. Agar, got off the elevator. David stood and waited for them to get to him. Lamont went to the waiting room where Barbara was. Lamont said, “You may as well cancel your reservations. Natalie just died.”

  David said to his family, “You’re too late.” Dora put her hand to her mouth. Mrs. Agar began to cry, “I can’t believe she is gone.” Roy went into the room where Natalie’s body was. Ralph put his arm around his wife’s shoulder. Ralph asked, “Who’s going to tell Mr. Agar and Jimmy?” David said, “I’ll tell them.”

  David went to the waiting room, “Come on you two, we’ve done all we can do here.”

  As they waited for a taxi in front of the hospital Lamont said, “We’ll get a motel room. I think it’s best if we don’t go home with you.” David said, “Maybe you’re right. There’s a motel at the edge of the city limits on your way. I’ve got to go tell Dad and Jimmy.” Lamont asked, “Do you want me to go with you?’ David said, “No. This is one job I’ll have to do alone. Thanks anyway.”

  Della met David at the door. When she saw his face she said, “She’s gone isn’t she?” With tears in his eyes, he nodded his head. Porter said, “I’m not surprised.” Della cried as she poured David some coffee. Porter asked, “What will happen to Jimmy?” David said, “Monty is adopting him. That was all settled two months ago. As of now, Monty has custody of Jimmy. That’s the way Nat wanted it.” Porter said, “I’m glad. The boy needs a good home.”

  Della fixed Mr. Agar’s breakfast tray. David said, “I’ll take that to Dad. I’ve got to tell him.”

  As David walked up the long staircase, he knew this was one of the hardest things he would ever have to do. He leaned over a
nd called to his father. He didn’t answer or even move. David pulled the cover from his shoulders. He took one of his hands and felt his pulse. He couldn’t feel any at all. His hand was very cold. He laid his head on his father’s chest. He couldn’t hear a heartbeat. He was sure his father was also dead. He picked up the phone and called their family doctor.

  When the doctor came and examined the elderly man he told David, “He has been dead for several hours. He died sometime after noon.” David stood looking down at him, “Dad, I’m glad you didn’t have to know about Natalie. Oh God---!” He began to cry. He left the room and called Lamont.

  Barbara and Lamont got a taxi and went to the Agar house. While Lamont was paying the driver, Barbara stood looking at the huge colonial house. When Lamont took her arm she said, “Monty, just look at that.” Lamont said, “It’s just as beautiful inside.”

  David met them at the door. Tears were in his eyes, “My God Monty, I’ve lost the only two people in my family that really mean anything to me.” Lamont said, “I’m sorry bud. Is there anything I can do?” David said, “Yes, I’ve still got to tell Jimmy about Nat and now his grandfather whom he loved very much. Will you go with me?” Lamont said, “Sure.” David looked at Barbara, “You too honey.”

  They followed David upstairs to the bedroom Natalie once had. They opened the door and, to their surprise, Jimmy was dressed sitting on the window seat looking out. For the first time Barbara and Lamont saw Natalie’s son. He was a healthy looking boy. He looked very much like Natalie. His eyes were blue and his hair light brown like his mothers. He was a very handsome little boy. David said, “Jimmy.” Jimmy said very calmly, “I know. Momma is dead. She told me she would never see me again when she went to the hospital. Grandpa is dead too. I went to see him a while ago. He was cold and didn’t talk to me.” Then the little boy began to cry.