by Jennae Vale
“Hamish!” Logan appeared behind him.
“Sir!” Hamish stood up tall and turned to face him. “I’d like to dance with this lass if ye dinnae mind.”
“What?”
“Ye heard me. Now, if ye’ll move away from her,” Logan said.
“’Tisnae fair. Ye already have a lass.” Hamish seemed quite disappointed at Logan’s appearance.
“She’s gone home now and I have something I must discuss with Sara.”
Hamish stepped aside as Logan took Sara’s hand in his and led her away.
“Ye have an early day ahead of ye tomorrow. Ye should get yerself to the barracks for a good night’s sleep,” Logan called over his shoulder.
Sara was relieved and annoyed at the same time. Relieved that Hamish hadn’t been able to go any further with what was on his mind and annoyed that Logan would assume that she needed to be rescued.
“I didn’t need to be rescued you know,” she snapped.
“I wasnae rescuing ye. I need to speak with ye as I’ve said.” He sounded a bit testy to Sara’s ear.
“You don’t have to tell me anything. I already know. I figured it out all by myself.” She was pretty proud of herself.
He stopped and turned to face her. “Did ye?”
“Mmhmm… I saw you with Aisla and she told me about her circumstance. I just put two and two together and got that you’re marrying her out of a sense of duty to your friend.”
Logan tried to interrupt her, but she wasn’t having it.
“I’m still speaking,” she said, giving him a look that stopped him in his tracks. “I’m not going to get in your way. If you feel like it’s the right thing to do, then I understand. I’m not happy about it, but I get it.” Sara watched as the irritation that was so apparent a moment ago drained from his face.
“Sara,” the longing in his voice pierced something deep inside her. He reached out to cup her cheek in his warm, callused hand, “if I’d known ye were coming I would never have made the promise to marry her,” he confessed.
Sara closed her eyes and allowed herself a moment of comfort from his touch. She took a deep breath, opened her eyes and moved his hand. She couldn’t allow herself to be distracted now. “The only thing I don’t fully understand is why no one has gone to look for the man.” Sara stepped away from Logan. She needed some space for this conversation.
Logan sighed, resigned to the situation. “First, I dinnae ken who he is and second, Aisla asked me not to. She doesnae wish him to feel obligated to marry her under the circumstances.”
“Well, it looks like I’m one up on you. I know who it is.” She knew she must look like the cat who ate the canary. She hadn’t meant to tell him, but she blurted it out before she could lock her lips.
“Ye… how?…”
“I asked around.”
He looked horrified.
“Don’t worry.” She waved her hand like she was swatting away a fly. “I was discreet. The person who told me has no idea why I was asking.”
Relief washed over his face. “Well, are ye going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?” She was having fun playing with him. But then, he grabbed her hand again and led her down a passageway into a darkened room, the only light coming from a slowly dying fire. Logan grabbed some wood and threw it on the hearth, which sparked and then flared. He closed the door and then stood staring at Sara.
“You’re making me uncomfortable, Logan. Why are we in here? Where are we?” She peeked around him, but could barely make out a long table with chairs around it. Arch shaped windows lined the walls and a cool breeze blowing through caused her to shiver.
“Come.” Logan beckoned her closer to the hearth. She joined him and they stood facing each other.
Logan scrubbed his hands through his hair and Sara tipped her head, hands on her hips and fingers tapping furiously. “Well, you haven’t answered any of my questions.”
“I’m sorry, lass.”
Was he sorry he hadn’t answered her questions or was he sorry for what had happened. She couldn’t tell.
“Sara, I’ve wanted ye since the first-time I set eyes on ye.” He closed his eyes, shaking his head in apparent disbelief, but didn’t continue.
“Go on. You were saying you wanted me?” Sara was overjoyed to hear those words and wanted more.
“Aye. I’m such a fool.”
“Exactly what I’ve been saying.”
He tipped his head, a question in his eyes and then a deep chuckle erupted from his throat. “’Tis what I love about ye, Sara. Ye dinnae mince words.” He took her hands in his, looking deeply into her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat. “I wish I could change things.”
It was a simple statement, but Sara could feel the truth in his words. “I feel the same way.” Then it occurred to her that she might just be able to alter their course. She knew exactly how to do it. Happiness that she could actually do something instead of just allowing life to happen to her, caused her to throw her arms around Logan’s neck. She gazed longingly into his eyes and then without question or refusal, their lips met in a kiss. And what a kiss it was. Sara’s feet left the ground as Logan lifted her to gain a better angle. Flurries of butterfly wings beat in her belly, her body felt the effects of wanting him so badly that it hurt. This was probably not the best idea, but there was no stopping it now.
Before she knew what was happening, she found herself pinned against the side of the table. Logan pushed a chair out of his way, all the while kissing and caressing her face, her hair, her neck. For her part, Sara was speechless. Her hands were doing the talking for her. She ran them over the strong muscles of his chest, pulling his shirt open so she could touch his velvety skin. He pulled her closer and she could feel his hardened manhood against her belly. He wanted her. She smiled at the joy that brought her. He dipped his head lower, to the tops of her breasts, which peeked out over the bodice of her dress. Damn it, why did she have to be so tightly tied into it. There was no way she was going to be able to get it off and then back on again.
“Logan,” she breathlessly whispered his name.
“Aye, lass.”
“We shouldn’t…”
His tongue licked her cleavage and then back up to her neck. “You were saying.”
What was she saying? She couldn’t think clearly enough to form a cohesive sentence. “Mmmm…”
“Do ye like that, Sara?” he whispered.
Oh my gosh, he was tickling that sensitive spot behind her ear with his tongue. “Yes,” she murmured.
His mouth was back on hers, tongues darting, dancing and teasing each other. His hands were slowly but surely pulling her dress up higher and higher. His fingers masterfully stroking between her thighs. Logan lifted her onto the table. Her bare bottom felt the chill of the hard wood beneath her and she had a moment of clarity.
“Logan…” They had to stop. She had no idea where they were or who might walk in on them, but this wasn’t right. She tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. His fingers were softly caressing her womanly folds and she was helpless to stop him. She lay back on the table. Who cares if someone caught them? Wait! She did. “Logan,” she tried again. His intense, dark eyes were locked on hers. “Logan!”
“Aye, lass?” He continued on with his ministrations and she was finding it harder and harder to say stop, but she had to. This wasn’t right.
“Stop! Please.” There she’d said it. She lay there panting and not really wanting him to stop, but knowing they had to.
He stopped immediately, a pained expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Sara. I shouldnae have taken advantage of ye.” He pulled her skirt down and started to back away.
“You didn’t take advantage of me, you big oaf. I wanted it. I wanted you.” She reached out for him, pulling him closer.
“Then what’s wrong?” he asked, searching her face for clues.
“You’re supposed to marry Aisla. I can’t make this kind of connection with you, knowing that it would be a on
e-time thing. Do you understand?”
He didn’t answer right away, but he eventually nodded. “Aye.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted this more than you know.” She caressed his face with her hand, trying not to let herself be drawn back into those dark and stormy eyes.
He helped her up from the table and then gently fixed her dress as if nothing had happened. Turning his back to her, his voice gruff with emotion, he said, “We should go join the others. I cannae stay in this room alone with ye for a moment longer. If I do I’ll have ye back up on that table and I willnae be able to stop meself.”
She wanted to kiss him. A soft I-feel-the-same-way kind of kiss but she, too, was afraid she’d be unable to stop. He took her hand and led her back to the celebration, where he said good night and left her smiling bravely after him.
Her heart was aching, but she had hope. She now knew that Logan felt the same way about her as she felt about him. She also knew what she was going to do next. She was going to find Rory Mackall and when she did Logan would finally be hers.
Chapter 9
Logan couldn’t believe what had just happened with Sara. He’d told himself to stay as far away from her as he could, but something about seeing her with Hamish tonight had riled him to the point that he lost all good sense and came after her. Getting her away from Hamish was the only thought on his mind, but once he found himself alone with her his troubles truly began. The bittersweet kisses they’d shared may be all he’d have to remember her by, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself or the feelings of love that had overcome him. He wanted her more than he wanted anything else in his life and it seemed she’d felt the same way. He hurried out to the courtyard, where a brisk breeze coming off the water cooled his heated ardor and brought clarity to his mind.
He’d spoken with her, as Helene said he should, but she already knew. He hated himself at this moment. He’d foolishly allowed his feelings for Sara to make their situation even worse. He loved her, he was sure of that, but he was also sure that he’d made a commitment to Aisla and he would follow through with it. He hoped that Sara would go home to San Francisco, because he couldn’t bear the thought of seeing her here at Breaghacraig and not being able to have her. But, if she did stay, he would be a loyal husband. Aisla deserved as much. He’d seen the pain it had caused his mother when his father had been unfaithful to her. He wouldnae allow that to be his story too. No. It was good that Sara had stopped them before anything more occurred.
He walked out through the postern gate and sat on the rocks below the castle wall, overlooking the dark ocean. The moon gave him just enough light to see the waves splashing below him. This was his secret spot. The place he went when he needed to think or just wanted to be alone. The ocean had always calmed him. The sound of the waves, the scent of the salt water and the vastness of the ocean for as far as they eye could see. All of those things spoke to him and he needed them tonight, more than ever before.
A rock tumbled past him and he looked up to see Dougall standing there.
“May I join ye?” he asked.
“Aye.” Logan turned back to stare out over the water.
Dougall made his way down to where Logan sat. “Me wife says I should check on ye. I can see she was right.”
“How did ye ken I was here?”
“I saw ye leave and I saw who ye were with before ye left.”
“Sara.” He said her name with the longing of a man who knew he’d never get to have her or hold her again.
“She’s with Helene. They’ve gone back home.” Dougall sat down beside Logan. “Do ye care to tell me what ye were thinking tonight?”
“I wasnae thinking. I was feeling.”
“Mayhap nae the wisest thing to do, under the circumstances.”
Logan continued silently counting the waves as they crashed below.
“What are yer plans? Ye’ve a choice to make and ye’d best make it.”
Logan shook his head. “There is nae choice. I’m to marry Aisla. I gave her me promise and I will stand by it.”
“And what of Sara?”
“I hope fer her sake and mine that she goes back home. I couldnae bear to see her here.” His voice was barely a whisper, but the words were out. He could hardly believe what he was saying. “If only she’d arrived sooner. Before I made my commitment to Aisla. I cannae back out of it now and I wouldnae even if I could.”
“I’m sorry fer yer troubles, Logan. If there was some way I could help, I would.” Logan could feel Dougall’s stare and heard the truth in his words. His best friend would have done anything for him, would have laid down his life. But that wouldn’t help here.
“There’s nae a thing that can be done.”
“Are ye sure?”
“Aye. Nae a thing.” Logan turned to see Dougall gazing at him with concern. “Ye should go home to yer nice warm bed.” And yer wife, he thought but didn’t say. “I’ll be fine here.”
“Are ye sure? I can stay if ye’d like.”
“Nae. Dinnae fear. I dinnae intend to jump, I just need to think. I’ll head back to the barracks soon.”
“I’ll say good night then.” Dougall stood and climbed back up to the path.
“Good night,” Logan called after him.
Sitting by the hearth with Helene, Sara felt not only the warmth from the fire, but the warmth of Helene’s friendship. They sipped some warm cider and stared into the flames.
“I’m ever so sorry that things didnae turn out as ye wished,” Helene said.
“I guess it just wasn’t meant to be,” Sara replied. She wasn’t about to tell Helene that she wasn’t giving up. She would keep her plan to herself. Whether it worked or it didn’t, everyone would know about it soon enough. She didn’t want anyone standing in her way when she attempted to save Logan and Aisla from a loveless marriage.
The crackling of the fire was the only sound in the room. Their friendship was such that they could sit quietly with each other, neither speaking a word, safe and comfortable in each other’s presence.
The door opened and Dougall entered. He came and sat with them.
“So. How is he?” Sara asked.
“He’ll be fine. He’s sitting on the rocks by the ocean, thinking.” Dougall took Helene’s hand. “I’m tired love. I’m off to bed. Will ye be joining me?”
“I’ll be up soon,” Helene replied.
He kissed her hand and then reached out to squeeze Sara’s. “Good night, Dougall. You really are a good man.”
“Good night, Sara.” He smiled warmly at her and then left them.
“You are a lucky lady, Helene,” Sara said. She wondered if she would ever be that lucky herself.
“I ken it and I thank Edna almost daily fer helping us find our way.”
“She can’t help me, you know,” Sara said as she gazed into the fire. This was a fact that she simply couldn’t overcome.
Helene appeared stunned by this.
“She said that this wasn’t a match that she created, so she can’t get involved. It’s my match and it’s up to me to make it work.” Sara adjusted herself in her chair. The velvety fabric was soft, however, the chair itself was anything but comfortable and certain parts of her body were going numb the longer she sat there. They were nothing like the big, comfy chairs she was used to back home.
“I cannae believe she willnae help ye.” Helene shook her head at the preposterous idea.
“It’s true. It’s part of the reason she didn’t want me to come here. She told me something wasn’t right and that my timing was off, but I chose not to believe her.” Sara looked away, feeling very alone in her decisions. That ache she felt for Logan was back and even stronger now that she knew he wanted her, too. She could not let that defeat her, instead she let it fuel her. “And now,” she said, feeling the steel of her spine, “if I want this to work, I’m the one who’s going to have to fix it.”
“Sara, I’ve run out of words to express how sad I am fer ye, but please know that I am here
. If there’s anything I can do to help, ye only need ask.” She reached for Sara’s hand, her brow creased in worry.
“I know, Helene. I appreciate it. Just having you sitting here beside me helps.”
“I remember all those times in San Francisco when ye did the same fer me. On my saddest days ye could always make me smile. I’m nae as funny as ye, but I am determined to see ye smile.” Helene crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.
Sara couldn’t help but giggle. “Okay. Okay, you’ve succeeded in your mission. You can stop now.”
“I dinnae believe I can.” Her eyes remained crossed. “I think they may be stuck.”
Sara hopped out of her chair and hugged Helene. “I love you, lady.”
“And I, ye.” Helene returned the hug in equal measure. “Now, my husband awaits me. I must say good night.” She disentangled herself from Sara and kissed her cheek before heading off to bed.
“Oh, I almost forgot. I am expected at the castle early tomorrow morning to help put things to rights. You’ve had a long night so why don’t you sleep in a bit and I will be back around the noon hour. We can go explore the forest without ye getting lost.” Sara laughed at her friend and agreed.
Sara sat on the floor by the fire. Her mind wandered to Logan as it always did when she found herself alone. He was the perfect man for her. She loved that he wanted to help his friend, even at the expense of his own happiness. If she was successful in her quest tomorrow, she could relieve him of that burden. He would never characterize it that way. He was doing it out of a sense of honor and loyalty to a good friend. She had to admit she’d probably do the same if she were in his shoes.
Climbing the stairs to bed, she knew she needed a good night’s sleep, but worried it wouldn’t happen. Her mind was spinning with thoughts of Logan, Aisla and finding Rory Mackall.
She changed into her nightgown and went to the window where she gazed up at the moon. She thought about her Grandpa and what advice he may have had for her. She could almost hear his voice saying, “Follow your heart, Sara, because your heart never lies. It knows what’s right for you and will never lead you astray.”