by Claire Ashby
“Oh, the time will fly by,” she said. “Before you know it, you two will be arguing about whose turn it is to change the baby’s diaper.”
“I doubt that,” I muttered, as I sorted through a rack of dresses.
“We’ve already worked out those details. I get full-time diaper duty.” Theo beamed at me, clearly enjoying every minute of pretending.
“Honey, you got yourself a good one,” the saleslady said. “Let me start you a room.” She took the dresses I had selected and walked off to the fitting rooms.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because it’s entertaining. Lighten up. I thought girls were supposed to love shopping.” He held up a short red dress with a plunging neckline. The kind of thing I’d never wear. “How about this one?” He grinned. I rolled my eyes but took it from him.
By the time we circled the store, the saleslady had moved a mountain of clothes into the fitting room for me to try on. “I left you loads of space on the bench in the dressing room, so you can make yourself comfortable,” she said to Theo. “You can watch while she tries on her outfits.” Her eyes kept darting to his missing leg, and I resisted the urge to tell her not to stare. I wasn’t used to the territorial protectiveness I harbored for Theo.
“Thank you.” Theo nodded and then went in and had a seat. “I promise not to peek.”
I followed him in and threw him a dirty look before locking the flimsy door. Although I wasn’t sure I believed him, he looked worn out from walking around the store, and I wasn’t about to make him stand outside.
I proceeded to try on dresses and jeans, suits and shorts, and a billion different maternity tops.
Beyoncé pumped through the speakers as I modeled the clothes for Theo. “Okay, check it out.” I sashayed around the fitting room with the red dress I had saved for last. The dress managed to showcase my full breasts in a fertility-goddess sort of way.
Theo clapped his hands and whistled. “It’s a keeper. Put it in the ‘yes’ pile!” He’d been laughing nonstop since I’d started trying on clothes.
I checked myself out in the mirror. “I don’t know. It’s a little snug.”
“It’s excellent.”
The saleslady tapped on the door. “How are those working for you?”
“Does this look tight to you?” I pulled the door open as I asked.
The saleslady’s eyes bugged out. “Oh, yes. You need a bigger size—”
Theo interrupted her. “It appears your clothes are cut small.” He turned his head, but I saw him wink at the woman. “We’ll take the dress and everything in this pile in the next size up. Does that sound good to you, Meg?”
“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed. I didn’t want to stock up on clothes that would be too tight in a few weeks.
The woman giggled at Theo and gathered my “yes” pile. “Will do. You two are a lovely couple.” She backed out of the room, leaving us alone again.
Theo’s eyes locked onto mine across the ten-foot-long room. “You have no idea how beautiful you are.” His smile was gone.
“You’re warped.” My mouth went dry as he stood and closed the space between us.
He pointed to the full-length mirror. “Look at you,” he demanded, and I obeyed.
“I see a bloated, puffier version of my formerly attractive self.”
“Shut up, girl.” His tone was soft, and he shook his head as if trying to erase my words. “What I see is a beautiful woman with seductive hips.” His hand slipped down my side. “A luscious belly, voluptuous, knock-your-socks-off breasts.” He turned me slightly, and we both watched my profile as he ran his hand down the back of the red dress, stopping at the small of my back. “And the finest ass in town.”
Flattered and flustered at once, I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out.
Time slowed as Theo continued. “Add that to your angelic face, unbelievably sexy hair and swollen, kiss-me-now lips, and I’m amazed The Book Stack doesn’t get mobbed every day.” His words soothed me, and I turned to him. His hand cupped the back of my neck, and he eased me closer, bringing our faces only inches apart. I lowered my eyelids. The heat of his breath fanned against my cheek before he caught my mouth with his. His tongue separated my lips, coaxing gently, and I opened to him. The kiss deepened. I clutched his shirt as his hand delved into my hair, holding me firmly. I trembled. He nipped along my jaw, and a moan spilled from my open mouth.
Theo lowered, pulling long, slow kisses from me, hot and slippery; my mind evaporated as my thoughts scattered. A pulsating throb pumped through my body. The sweet warmth of his mouth consumed me. As he pulled away, my chest heaved.
He grabbed his other crutch and jiggled the latch on the door. “You look amazing in that dress.” He opened the fitting room door. “I’ll wait outside while you change.” The door slammed shut, and I was alone.
Chapter Seven
Theo waited outside the storefront with his face raised to the sun. A woman with a little boy passed him. The boy stared at Theo. As they went by, the child spoke to the women and pointed at Theo. I could guess what the kid was asking.
The saleslady looked me over while she folded slacks. “He already took care of everything, honey. We even got your bags out in the car for you.”
I hadn’t anticipated that, but then again, everything with Theo conflicted with my expectations. “He wasn’t supposed to pay,” I said, unable to hide my confusion.
“Oh yes, he was. Once they put a baby there, you have to get what you can. Let that man take care of you, child. He was better with you than all the able-bodied men who come in here.” She nodded her head as if agreeing with herself.
I thanked her for her help and went outside to join Theo.
I’d spent countless hours hiding the changes my body was going through, yet at the same time, I’d aligned myself with someone who couldn’t conceal his injuries. Theo stood out, and people stared. They didn’t notice that he was charming and kind, a true hero who had sacrificed for his country. People looked at Theo because he was different. He was a young man with a badly damaged body. He couldn’t hide that.
I pushed my way out of the store, into the afternoon. Theo turned to me. “Are you ready?”
“You shouldn’t have done that.” I went to him, but he pulled back, and it troubled me that he might’ve thought I meant the kiss. “Tell me how much I owe you,” I clarified. Theo buying clothes for me wasn’t appropriate. I could take care of myself. Even with Bradley, I did the books to keep everything a controlled fifty-fifty between us.
“Don’t worry. You don’t owe me anything.” He headed for my car, leaving me behind. The breeze twisted around me, lifting my hair off my shoulders. Even with the sun warming my skin, I shivered. I didn’t know what to do, so I followed him. He waited by the open car door for me.
“Theo, I can’t let you buy me clothes. You’re being very generous, but…” I dug through my purse and pulled out my wallet. “Tell me how much?”
“Too bad. I don’t want your money. Has nobody taught you how to be gracious? Are you not used to people doing nice things for you? Say thanks, and get in the car.” His mouth was a tight line, his cantankerous side seeping to the surface.
I climbed into my seat and stared straight ahead, my hands resting on my belly. Theo gently shut my door and got in without saying anything.
I considered arguing with him, but I didn’t want to ruin our day any more than I already had. We drove back to the bookstore in silence, Theo’s face impassive. My lips still tingled from his kiss.
“I can’t take your money,” I finally said. “You don’t even have—” I stopped myself. I didn’t know his status in the Army, but how rude of me to point out his lack of employment.
“What?” Theo hit the brakes a little too hard at a four-way stop. He stared at me. Behin
d us, a horn blared.
“Thank you.”
“You are welcome.” His face smoothed out, and the corners of his mouth lifted. “Now, was that so hard? I’ve been stashing my money for years. What’s it good for if I never spend it?” He pressed down on the gas pedal, and we proceeded to the next intersection. We flew through a yellow light. “I only wanted to do something nice for you.”
When we were almost at the bookstore, I pulled out a business card, adding my cell and home-phone numbers. I didn’t want there to be friction between us; I could accept his extravagances, if only to raise his spirits. But it made me painfully uncomfortable. He had brought me lunch, taken me shopping, and paid the tab for maternity clothes. It was every woman’s fantasy, only better. My dark and brooding Theo. He was unfailingly kind and thoughtful. And I didn’t know how to take it.
After he parked, we met on the sidewalk in front of the car. He handed me the keys, our fingers brushing. I wanted another kiss, but the moment had slipped away. I was tempted to toss composure aside and go for it; however, being pregnant, that didn’t appear to be the appropriate tactic.
“Here’s my card. Call or text me when you figure out your plans. I’ll get a key made for you.” I ignored the creeping uncertainty about our decision to move in together. The arrangement might not be the best choice for either of us. I should be cautious, especially considering the kiss… the kiss that might mean nothing, but could mean everything.
“Sure. See ya later, Meg.” He stuffed my card into his pocket and ambled across the street to The Tavern.
Back at the store, my employees floated through the charged air around me. That afternoon, conversations faded to whispers whenever I approached. Steve and I had managed to keep the family atmosphere that my grandfather had created. But for the first time, I felt as if I were the outsider looking in.
Hazel—the only one with the nerve to ask what everyone wanted to know—cornered me. “Does this mean you are going to reunite with our Bradley?” She spoke in a sticky sweet tone, her hands clasped under her chin. Hazel’s unwanted attention reminded me that having an extended family at work cuts both ways.
“No, Hazel, there will be no reuniting.” I stepped around her.
“You’ll make a lovely family together,” she called after me. “The kind of family anyone would dream of having.”
I snuck back to my office, intent on avoiding everyone, but Ellie surprised me with a plate of cookies at the end of her shift.
I bit into one as she lowered herself as close as she could to the loveseat, and collapsed the rest of the way down with a grunt and a sigh.
“Have one with me.” I offered her the plate and Ellie shook her head.
“The ob’s office called this afternoon,” she said. “I failed the blood glucose test. I have gestational diabetes.”
“Oh, no,” I said around a mouthful of cookie. “Don’t they let you take the test again?”
“No, this was the second test. I didn’t mention it when I failed the first one. ”
I put the cookie plate on my desk and brushed crumbs off my belly. “You could’ve told me. So, what happens now? What does this mean?”
“No more cookies. They’re going to watch the baby a little closer and put me on a special diet. It’s not that bad. I don’t feel any different. I just can’t eat for two anymore. I don’t want to dwell on it, though. Now, tell me about your day. How does it feel to be footloose and secret-free?”
I wanted to ask more, but seeing the stress around Ellie’s eyes I realized she wanted to drop it. “Ask me later. I still have a few more people to clue in.” I leaned back in my office chair with my hands on my bump. “Look at us! We look like we’re smuggling a couple of beach balls.”
“Whatever, you’re still small, but you’re definitely showing now. And your growth rate is accelerating.”
To take Ellie’s mind off her worries, I told her all about shopping with Theo, but I left out the kiss. Even though the memory was foremost in my thoughts, I was slowly convincing myself I had blown it out of proportion. Otherwise, Theo would have acknowledged it upon returning to the car. At least, he would’ve given me a goodbye peck. Instead, he hobbled fast as if he were trying to get away from me. He all but ran me down on his way to The Tavern.
“Shopping for clothes with a man sounds pretty intimate to me.” Ellie knew I wanted her opinion, although I had not asked. “Was it a date?”
“Not a date. Not at all, I’m sure.” I focused on a spot above Ellie’s head, and didn’t mention the kiss. If she knew, it would certainly create the illusion that the day meant something more. “He wants to help me. It’s not that strange an idea, really. He needs a place, and I have a spare room, for now.” I busied myself organizing my desk, avoiding eye contact as I dropped the bombshell. “He offered to move in and help me get the condo unpacked and set up for the baby.”
Ellie gasped, and when I turned, she was frowning, shaking her head. “Oh, no… no, that’s a horrible idea. You can’t let him move in, Meg.” She shifted on the loveseat, kicked her shoes off, and pulled her feet under her, leaning forward. “He’s injured. He’s weak. He needs to take care of himself. How can he help you?”
“Don’t let him hear you talk that way.” I fanned my face, Ellie’s fixed stare making me feel as if the office walls were closing in on me. “It’s not like he’s building a home from scratch. He wants something to do. This will be good for him. I’m not asking him for anything. He offered. He needs focus.”
“And you’re the focus,” she huffed, jabbing her finger at me. “Oh my gosh—you’re really into him.”
“No, I’m not.” My words came out in a rush.
“Yes you are.”
“Honestly, I’m not,” I said, but I thought about him cradling my belly the night before and the compassion he showed me. My stomach did a little flip, and I threw my arms out. “Okay, I am! But so what? He’s lonely—what’s the harm if we hang out? I have nothing going on.”
Her gaze drifted to my belly. “Yeah, other than a baby on the way, and what’s Theo going to do then?”
“He’s only going to stay a few months, and then he’ll be gone.”
“This is a bad idea on so many levels. Jake is not going to be happy about this.”
When did I agree to run my life past Jake? I took a deep, shuddery breath. “Jake can mind his own business. I mean really, we’re all adults here.”
“What do you want from Theo? Do you think he’ll stick around? Are you hoping he’ll play the father role? Is that even fair to ask of him?”
“No, you’re blowing this way out of proportion.” I struggled to keep my voice even. “Can’t I get to know him better, without having to make a lifetime commitment to him? I don’t expect anything. I just enjoy him.”
“Exactly, and once you’ve gotten used to him, attached to him, and then you have this baby,” she wagged her finger at me and then pointed to my midriff as if I needed a reminder, “and if he’s not ready to man up and he backs off, where will that leave you, Meg?”
“I’ll be fine. The baby’s not his responsibility. I’m clear on that.” However, Ellie had made her point. Was I trapped in a cycle of men who were destined to abandon me, or was it a pitfall that I subconsciously sought out on my own? Still, I had no doubt that I would not—no, could not—walk away from Theo. Like a gazelle, fully aware of the risk of crocodiles, but driven by thirst to the river’s edge, I could not turn back.
After Ellie left, I slipped out the back door and wandered around the corner to Chelsea’s Boutique. I might as well take on whatever abuse I had coming from my friends and get it over with.
“So it’s true! You little hussy!” Chelsea rushed around the counter and put both hands directly on my middle. I was going to have to get used to people groping me. We were good friends
, but I don’t think Chelsea had ever had occasion to touch my stomach before.
“How did you know? Who told you?” I was glad I didn’t have to go into announcement mode, but caught off guard by the realization that Chelsea knew everything.
“I had lunch with Steve today,” she said, in her singsong tone. “But I couldn’t get any other details from him. Pay up.” She snapped her fingers rapidly, rushing me to get on with it already. “Who’s the daddy?”
“Jason.”
“Ah, so he knocked you up on your little tryst.” Chelsea was the friend I didn’t hold back with. She appreciated people behaving badly. “Being a single mother is so in vogue these days. So Sandra Bullock.” Chelsea tucked a glossy lock of hair behind her ear, the unedited commentary racing from her mouth. “I bet Bradley would take you back. You don’t have to do it alone.”
Chelsea had that way of going too far, too fast. Coming from anyone else, those words would make me want to scream, but I cut Chelsea a lot of slack. She had a good heart. She did not have a good verbal filter.
I went through the routine with Chelsea. I answered all her pregnancy questions, nodded my head in agreement when she gave me the single-mom pep talk, and promised to let her babysit. Once she was satisfied, I steered the conversation in a different direction.
“Why were you having lunch with Steve?” I couldn’t imagine the two of them together, but that wasn’t the point. Steve and I had rules about where he was and was not allowed to dip his hand in the cookie jar. Because he was the charming chick magnet, I had to keep him on the no-friends, no-neighbors plan.
“Oh, it was nothing. I sprung by The Tavern for a bite, and he was at the bar. Your life provided the amusement. Now tell me about this army guy. Really, Meg, you don’t quit, do you?” Chelsea’s smoldering eyes were about ready to pop. Her polished black fingernails tapped on the glass display case while she waited for me to spill.