by Claire Ashby
“Hey,” he called to get my attention. “Pick something out for that little girl.” He snapped his fingers and pointed at my belly and then at the rows of pink toys. At that moment, it clicked. We knew who we were shopping for. Looking around the store, the lights seemed brighter. I went to the wall, selected a soft flower rattle, and put it in the cart.
“Hey look.” Theo held up a pink purse that had a fabric tube of lipstick and soft compact with it. “I told you so.” He tossed it in the cart, laughed, and grabbed a pink toy cell phone. “She’s going to need one of these.”
“Oh, look at this,” I said holding up a pink doctor kit.
“Get two—I want one for myself,” Theo said with a wink.
We ended up with at least one of every pink item in the store. Pink was a color I’d never paid too much attention to, but now it screamed girl, girl, girl, with an anticipation I was only beginning to grasp. A daughter of my very own—how could I not be giddy? I picked out blankets and tiny jeans, and Theo found a dress he insisted we get and the sweetest little pair of booties.
I looked over our cart loaded with predominately pink and looked back, scanning the aisles.
“What’d we forget?” Theo asked. “Wait, I know. Come closer.”
I stepped to his side, and he brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. I shivered, and he lowered his mouth to mine in a gentle kiss.
“I love you. I love this,” he said. “What’s the worried look for?”
I pointed at my belly. “What if she doesn’t like pink?”
He let out a sharp bark of laughter, his smile going even wider. “You might be onto something. Let’s go back and get one of those yellow trucks and a tool kit. We want to give her equal opportunities.”
My heart swooned, and I hugged his arm. “Did I ever tell you how much fun you are?”
“You’re not so shabby yourself,” Theo said, and we headed back to the toy department.
The only dim spot in the day came when we stopped by the baby carriers. Theo picked one up, and while attempting to try it on, he lost his balance. Catching himself on the cart, which wasn’t strong enough to support his weight, he tipped sideways, slamming into the shelf with a loud bam. I caught the cart before it fell to the ground, and Theo steadied himself.
“Are you alright, sir?” a clerk asked loudly as he approached, arms out.
“Yeah, yeah.” Theo spoke sharply, his face bright. He yanked off the carrier and chucked it on the shelf. “Come on, let’s go,” he barked.
He had hit the wall of fatigue. He didn’t say anything as I handed his crutch to him, and he followed me silently to the cash register. His mood softened again when he joined me to put our things on the counter. He elbowed me out of the way when I went to pay.
“The next one’s on you,” he said and swiped his card.
“You’ve got to stop doing that.”
“I’ll do what I want—now, move over.” He loaded the bags back in the cart before the cashier could help.
He whistled as we walked to the car, opened the door for me first, and then put the bags in the trunk. When Theo slid into the driver seat, he handed me a bag. I opened it to find the little blond- and brown-haired dolls.
He put his hand on my belly. “How’s the little darling?”
I leaned into him, and we kissed a kiss that hit me like a sigh, until he pulled away and jammed the key in the ignition. “That’s right, that’s right, doctor’s orders.” With a fresh spark in his eyes, he threw the car in reverse, the tires squealing, and then turned the car around and took off for home.
Back at the condo, Theo made love to me. He fed me pancakes with sliced strawberries in bed. At some point, I caught the glaze in his eyes that gave away that he’d taken pain pills. But he made love to me again. We took a bath together and then lay in the dark whispering until we fell asleep in each other’s arms. It truly was the best day of my life.
I woke up curved against Theo, his hand on my belly. The baby kicked, and Theo’s hand moved.
“Hello,” I said.
“Good morning.” He kissed me behind the ear. “We’ve been hanging out together, waiting for you to wake up and join us.”
Seven missed calls. I sat in the parking lot at work and scanned my phone. Ellie was the only call I made after the appointment. Two calls came from Steve, one from Chelsea, and the big surprise was the four calls from Nina. She knew nothing of the ultrasound and wasn’t even checking up on me, although she inquired briefly at the end of her message. She wanted to make sure Dad was okay, mentioned she had mail for him, and asked how I was doing as an afterthought. I decided to wait to call her back. I had news to share.
I called Steve’s house and Dad answered.
“Dad?”
“It’s about time. You know we’ve been waiting, right?”
“I went to the doctor yesterday.”
“And?” he asked.
“I hope you’re okay with a granddaughter, because that’s what the stork’s bringing!”
“Well, that’s perfect.”
He hollered out the news to Steve, who responded with a whoop. I distinctly heard a woman’s voice, hushed and mingled with his, in the background. I considered making a detour for a little recon mission. Who was he sharing my news with?
My phone rang.
“Hi Nina,” I answered, in too good a mood to worry about her drama bringing me down.
“I know you’re busy, but have you spoken to your father?” Nina’s panicked tone stopped me in my tracks. She was never less than completely composed.
“Yes, I talked with him today. He’s at Steve’s.”
“I know,” she replied quickly. “I thought he’d be back by now.”
“Is that what he said?”
“No, but he’s never held a grudge this long before. He’s being difficult.”
A dull ache formed in my chest when I heard the desperation in her words. “Nina, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
“Oh, well. We’ll work it out.” Her voice took on a false bravado. “How is everything there?”
“I’m good. I found out I’m having a girl.” I held my breath.
“How lovely. That’s nice, dear. Your father must be thrilled.” She sounded far off. “Look, don’t tell him I called.”
“Sure, I won’t,” I said, but she’d already hung up.
I unlocked the back door and headed to my office. I sat at my desk and stared at my phone. I had one more call to make about the baby. I contemplated whether he’d want to hear the news or not. My little girl gave a kick.
“He should know about you,” I said and rubbed my belly. I dialed the number for the first time since I had called to tell him I was pregnant with his baby. He could turn his back again, but my daughter deserved to have her news shared with the man who had fathered her. I called him for her sake.
The phone rang once, I held my breath, and then it rang again. By the fourth ring I exhaled and decided I wouldn’t leave a message.
He answered abruptly. “I’ve been wondering about you. How’s everything?” His hushed words came out with a nervous inflection.
“Wonderful, Jason. I wanted to let you know I don’t need anything, but I thought you had a right to know that it’s a girl.”
Silence.
And then the sound of children’s voices filled the background. I heard him muffle the phone, mumble words to someone.
“Thank you for your call. That’s good to hear. I’ll be in touch. Goodbye, now.” He hung up.
Stunned, I listened to the silence of the dead line.
I had no choice but to go on with my day. I did my part, and I willed myself to let Jason’s reaction go. My thoughts kept returning to my dad and what he must’ve gone throu
gh when our mom disappeared. I’d never considered the dilemma he’d faced, having to explain that loss to us. I ached for my daughter. She would always long for the first man who decided she wasn’t good enough to stick around for. I was going to have to figure it out. My daughter would not walk in a shadow of rejection.
I didn’t let Nina bring me down, and I wasn’t about to let Jason diffuse my joy either. As the store filled up and the news spread, the day turned into a celebration. Hazel brought out pink and white balloons from the story-time closet and filled them with helium. Dad and Steve rolled in shortly before lunch. Dad found the store aprons and put one on. Soon he was telling all the customers that his children owned the store, and his daughter was pregnant with his first granddaughter.
Hazel cornered me, sans filter, as usual, and asked if Bradley was excited.
“Hazel, this is not his baby,” I snapped.
She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.
“Humph, I better quit defending your honor then.” She looked at me as though I’d betrayed her.
“Yes, that’s not your job.” I walked away, pleased I’d finally stood up to her. “And if you keep talking to me that way, you’ll be defending your business in the unemployment line,” I said over my shoulder.
Theo arrived for lunch and met Dad. We all trekked across the street to The Tavern. We sat at one of the larger tables, Dad and Steve across from Theo and me. Just as we were ordering, Hazel squeezed into the seat next to me.
“I’ll have a Reuben and a Sprite-tini,” she said to the waitress. “We’re celebrating, so bring one for Meg, too—”
“Oh, no,” I interrupted. “No, thank you.”
“They’re virgin.” She put her hand over her mouth and giggled. “Just try one. Oh, and bring us a bowl of those green olives on the swords.”
I glanced at Dad and took in his pleading look. “Fine, I’ll drink a Sprite-tini with you.”
Hazel put her cool hand on my arm when the waitress left with our order. “I’m sorry I said what I did about Bradley. I just thought you two were so good together.”
I nodded. “Okay, just let it go.”
Dad talked about the structure of The Tavern, and lunch was served. I absentmindedly sipped on my Sprite-tini and kept one hand on Theo’s thigh. Just as we were leaving, Hazel pointed at my plate. There were six little plastic swords scattered on it. “I thought you might like those olives,” she said with a gleam in her eye.
I looked at her questioningly.
“I have a way of diagnosing cravings,” Hazel said, reminding me that she called herself the Mistress of Mystery for a reason. “Oh, and I knew you were having a girl because you’re carrying that baby so high.”
“Hazel, we work in a bookstore. Let’s not get carried away with old wives’ tales.”
“Never mind, back to work.” She grabbed her big purse and made a direct path to the door.
“What was that about?” I asked Dad.
He shrugged. “Ask her.”
Theo blocked me in my office the minute we got back from lunch.
“What’s on your mind?”
“What do you mean? I’m happy.” Even I heard the unsaid but…
“Let it out. There’s something rolling around up there, knocking up against you.”
“I called Jason.”
Theo’s face got tight. “And?”
“He thanked me for letting him know.”
“That’s it?” he growled. “Why did you bother calling him?”
“Because he’s the father,” I said too quickly, and regretted my defensiveness. “Jason should know. I told him because that’s the right thing to do.”
“Don’t talk about that guy and rightness in the same sentence. He’s an ass for missing one minute of this with you. He hasn’t checked in with you at all, has he?”
“No, and I wish he cared, for her sake.”
Theo pulled me to him. As he hugged me, his hand drifted to my belly. “This little girl will have everything she’ll ever need without him.”
“Will you be home when I get back?”
“Yeah, Cortez is going to stop by so we can finish up her room. Would you like to see the results tonight?”
“Yes!”
“We’ll make tonight a night to remember,” he promised, with a goodbye kiss.
Chapter Twenty
That night I came home to find Theo and Cortez watching TV.
“You guys watch Brooke and Bella?” I asked when I recognized the reality show about two beautiful rich girls that go off to college, drop out, and end up in a halfway house battling addiction. At least that was the original premise of the show, but then Brooke got pregnant in rehab, and shortly after that, Bella did too. The show took off and became a megahit, with the draw of the grisliest train wreck. Millions of viewers tuned in each week as the girls’ lives unraveled.
“We’re hosting a book signing for them soon. Probably will be one of our biggest events this year.”
Theo shot me a look. “Those dimwits wrote a book?”
“They had a ghost writer. Their management team had the idea they could put out self-help books, and the first one was an instant best seller. And actually, they have a second book coming out.”
“Self-help? Seriously?” Theo shook his head, unable to take his eyes off the screen.
Cortez gave Theo the evil eye. “This isn’t crap. Brooke and Bella are a couple of sophisticated babes. I don’t care if they didn’t actually write the book. I have to meet them,” Cortez pleaded with me. “Will you introduce me?”
“Sure, come to the signing,” I said.
Cortez glanced away while Brooke and Bella debated the merits of Manolos versus Louboutins. “Hey, wait! I almost forgot. The word on the street is our girl is having a girl.” Theo’s elbow shot out and jabbed him in the side. Cortez leaped away from him on the couch. “Hey man, watch it!”
Theo kept his eyes on the screen. “She’s not our girl, and she’s not your anything. She’s my girl.”
“No need to get in a pissing contest, man.” Cortez looked back to me. “Congratulations on the good news. Sincerely.”
“Thank you.”
There came a sharp knock on the door, and Theo’s eyes snapped up as if he could sense trouble on the other side.
Cortez laughed at the TV. “What’s not to like about these two?”
I walked to the door, and opened it.
Jason.
He stepped in, eyes wide, mouth open, and put his hands on either side of my belly. “Would you look at that!” He slipped one arm around my neck, while the other hand continued to explore my stomach. Then he planted a kiss on my cheek.
I registered the rage in Theo’s eyes. He pulled himself up on his crutches and made his way to us.
“Theo,” I said calmly. “This is Jason.”
“Get your hands off of her.”
“Theo, it’s okay.”
Jason let go of me and extended his hand to Theo. Jason’s smile froze as his eyes shifted down to take in Theo’s leg situation, then Jason looked past Theo and cocked his head to the side, staring at Cortez’s hook prosthetic, lying on the coffee table next to a beer.
“What’s up?” Cortez stood and grinned.
Jason turned back to Theo just as Theo slammed a fist into his face. Stunned and reeling, Jason hit the floor, and I screamed. Blood splashed like scattered rose petals; brilliant drops of crimson arched out along the profile of his crumpled body. Jason cupped his nose gingerly, as blood continued to seep through his fingers. “You fucking animal,” he said, his voice quivering.
Theo pressed the end of his crutch into Jason’s chest.
“You don’t come in here and put your hands on her.”
“Okay, okay.” Jason tried to push the crutch away, but it didn’t budge.
“Theo, stop it.” I went down on my knees to Jason. “Are you okay?”
“Call him off of me,” he wailed. “Oh, you crushed my nose!”
I stood and put my hand on Theo’s chest. “I said stop it. Get back from him.”
Cortez moved to Theo. “Come on, man. Relax.”
Theo took a step back, but his nostrils flared, and his breath hissed through his teeth.
“He’s the father,” I said to Theo, completely exasperated. “He has a right to check on her.”
“He told you not to count on him, and that’s the only promise he’s kept.”
“Hey, I’m here now.” Jason shrugged. He looked at the blood on his hands. To Theo, he added, “I have a wife… and a family.”
“Well, go take care of them. Meg doesn’t need you.”
“And she certainly doesn’t need someone like you.” Jason managed to put on an air of superiority, even sprawled out on the floor with blood dripping off his chin. Cortez sauntered back from the kitchen, tossing a dishtowel at Jason.
“What do you know about what she needs?” Theo snarled, lunging forward, only stopping when Cortez put his hand on Theo’s shoulder.
“You’re out of control,” Jason said. “Meg’s got a soft heart, but you can’t be worth it.”
“I would never hurt Meg. Damn you for suggesting she’s not safe with me.” He lunged at Jason again, and Cortez stepped between them.
“Stop, Theo,” I snapped. “Cortez, get him out of here.”
“Let’s go, man,” Cortez said.
“Meg!” Theo said in disbelief.
“I need to take Jason to the hospital,” I said.
Theo’s eyes darkened with anger. “I’ll take him.”
“No thanks, brother. I’m not getting in a car with you.” Jason sneered at Theo. “Meg can take care of me.”