by Jill Mansell
‘So do I.’ Still feeling guilty about dragging Majella away from the birthday lunch she’d been so looking forward to, Lainey said, ‘If the window’s fixed quickly, maybe you’ll be able to get back in time to catch up.’
‘Except look at me. What a mess.’ Ruefully Majella indicated her barely combed hair, make-up-free face, asymmetrical eyebrows and denim button-through dress with two buttons missing. ‘I thought I had another hour to get ready. Never mind, I’ll survive.’
‘But weren’t you being set up to meet someone? Violet mentioned it last night.’
‘I was. One of my friend Judi’s cousins. His name’s Oliver and he’s supposed to be lovely. Here, I’ll show you, she sent me a pic . . .’ Skimming through the texts on her own phone, Majella found what she was looking for and briefly waved the photo in front of Lainey so she could get the gist.
‘Oh, handsome.’
‘I know!’
‘Sorry.’ Would this guilt never end?
‘It’s OK. Can’t have the Gardners getting home from their cruise of a lifetime to find a ransacked house.’
They reached Bude twenty minutes later and found the address. Lainey screeched to a halt half on and half off the pavement, then they leapt out of the car together like cops in a movie and raced to the right-hand side of the smartly decorated detached house. There was the narrow window, as promised. Lainey took off her cardigan and wrapped it around her right hand, then closed her eyes and punched the glass as hard as she could. ‘I’ve always wanted to do that!’ she said with satisfaction.
Luckily there was no burglar alarm to contend with. Having knocked the remaining shards of glass out from around the window frame, she clambered up onto the ledge and squeezed her way through, sending soap dispensers, jars and aerosol cans flying as she stepped over the shelf and into the sink.
‘The spare key to the front door is in the kitchen, in the biscuit tin in the left-hand cupboard above the dishwasher,’ Majella called out as Lainey lowered herself to the floor and crunched over the broken glass.
‘Right.’ She made her way through the house to the kitchen and found the key in the tin, hidden beneath the chocolate digestives. Although really, what if a burglar saw the tin and fancied a few biscuits? Surely it would make more sense to hide the key in amongst the dusters and tins of polish.
She turned and surveyed the kitchen, scanning the worktops for the forgotten passports. Not in here. She checked the hallway – no sign of them – then unlocked the front door and let Majella in.
‘Found them?’
‘Not yet.’
‘Bugger.’
They split up. Lainey searched the rest of the ground floor while Majella ran upstairs. After five minutes they switched round in case all that was needed was a fresh pair of eyes.
‘Oh for God’s sake,’ Majella cried out in frustration from the living room. ‘This is ridiculous. According to Seth, Mrs Gardner had the passports in her hand; all she did was put them down somewhere and forget to pick them back up again.’
‘How can they just disappear?’ Lainey yelled back, throwing aside the duvet in the Gardners’ bedroom and checking the pillows. ‘What if we can’t find them?’
‘Well on the bright side, you can stay here and deal with the glazier and I’ll be able to get home in time to make myself beautiful and persuade Judi’s handsome cousin that I’m the woman of his dreams.’
‘You might not like him. He might be awful.’
‘Come on, you saw the photo. He looks like Pierce Brosnan.’ Emerging from the living room as Lainey gave up on the search upstairs, Majella said, ‘I’ll make allowances.’
‘One of us is going to have to call Seth and tell him we can’t find them.’ Lainey couldn’t bear it; more than anything, she’d longed to be able to rise to the occasion, solve the problem and earn Seth’s undying gratitude, because . . . well, because as she’d told Richard this morning, it was nice to be nice. And it would make Seth happy, almost as happy as the Gardners would have been when she arrived at the departure terminal at Southampton and presented them with the passports they’d so carelessly mislaid.
Except she’d failed. They hadn’t been able to find the damn things, which meant there would be no ecstatic reunion for the Gardners and their lost passports . . .
Or for herself and Seth.
‘Look, we’ve done our best,’ said Majella. ‘And it’s a shame, but it’s really not our fault they left them somewhere ridiculous. You can tell Seth and I’ll call the glazier. And I’ll take a cab back to St Carys if you’re happy to stay here and get this place sorted out.’ She waved an invisible magic wand around her own head and broke into a huge smile. ‘Looks like Cinderella is going to make it to the ball after all!’
Lainey nodded, because it was good news for Majella. ‘That’s fine. Of course I’ll stay here.’ She took out her phone, mentally bracing herself for Seth’s disappointment, and scrolled to his name.
‘Bing-bong-bing-bong,’ chimed the 1970s doorbell, like Bow Bells.
‘Oh God, what now?’ said Majella.
‘Maybe someone heard us smash the window and called the police.’
‘Great, so now they’ll arrest us and I’ll never get to meet my perfect man.’ Majella pulled open the front door. ‘Hi, hello. We’re not burglars, I absolutely promise.’
Lainey, behind her, saw a startled-looking man with sandy hair, sunglasses perched on top of his head and a blue and white striped beach bag slung over his shoulder. He was wearing a bright purple T-shirt with a photo of a kitten on the front, red knee-length shorts and bright green espadrilles.
‘Right, OK, I believe you. But I was actually looking for the Gardners.’ His gaze flickered from Majella to Lainey. ‘And you aren’t them.’
‘They’re not here,’ said Majella. ‘But we can pass on a message if you want.’
‘But this is their house?’
‘It is.’ It crossed Lainey’s mind that despite the Timmy Mallett outfit, this man could in fact be a burglar himself, disguised as a harmless holidaymaker in order to break into a house whose owners were away. She added hastily, ‘They just popped out; they’ll be back soon.’
He hesitated. ‘Oh, OK. Well don’t worry then. I’ll call back later.’
And now he was looking at Majella oddly, as if it had just occurred to him that her announcement that she wasn’t a burglar might in fact have been a clever double bluff.
For a couple of seconds they stood there gazing at each other with mutual suspicion. At length Lainey said, ‘Can I ask why you want to speak to them?’
The man hesitated, then reached into his beach bag. ‘Well, I was just walking up the hill and I found their passports lying in the gutter, so—’
‘Oh my God!’ Launching herself at him, Lainey grabbed the passports out of his hand and yelled, ‘You’re amazing! That’s what we’ve been looking for! I need to take them . . . What were they doing in the gutter?’
‘It was three doors up from here, so I’m guessing one of the Gardners put them on the roof of their car as they were getting in, then forgot they were there and just drove off.’
Of course, of course that was how it had happened. Lainey said, ‘You’re a lifesaver and I could kiss you, but I really have to go.’
Chapter 30
‘Wow,’ said the man as they watched Lainey do an expert three-point turn and roar off up the road with a cheery wave out of the sunroof.
‘You have no idea how grateful we are. You’ve saved the Gardners’ holiday.’ Gratitude wasn’t exactly the emotion Majella was feeling, because now she was definitely going to miss the birthday lunch, but it was brilliant news for the Gardners. Having seen the hospital letters and appointments pinned up on the corkboard in the kitchen, she now knew that Mr Gardner was suffering from Parkinson’s, so to have missed the cruise would have been a crushing disappointment for both him and his wife, who cared for him and had presumably been preoccupied with helping him into the car when she’d lef
t the passports on the roof.
‘Well I’m glad I was able to help. Look, don’t panic, but can I just get something out of your hair?’
‘What is it?’
‘It’s OK, nothing bad . . .’
He put down his bag and approached her, carefully gathering something into his cupped hands.
‘Oh God!’ She let out a yelp as he stepped back and swiftly threw the massive spider into the front garden. ‘It’s a monster! You said it was nothing bad.’
He grinned. ‘Sorry. It seemed safer than telling you what it was.’
Majella took steadying gulps of air and pressed her hand to her frantically thudding chest. ‘We were ransacking the house looking for the passports. It must have happened when I was searching the cupboard under the stairs. Well, thanks. I suppose I’d better call a glazier.’ The man looked surprised, and she explained, ‘The Gardners are down at Southampton, waiting to get on their cruise ship. We had orders to break in and find the passports. But now I need to make sure the house is secure.’
‘Of course. Am I allowed to ask another question?’
‘Feel free.’
He pointed tentatively. ‘Why are your eyebrows like that?’
An hour later, they were sitting at the kitchen table, still talking. His name was Dan, Majella had discovered, and he was down here on holiday with his wife and two children. She’d called Seth to let him know that Lainey and the passports were on their way to Southampton. She’d also contacted the emergency glazier, who said he was busy on a couple of other call-outs but would get to her as soon as he could. Having swept up the broken glass and tidied the house, they were now waiting for him to turn up. And since there was no milk in the house because the fridge had had a pre-holiday clear-out, Dan had zipped back to the house he was renting further up the hill and returned with two coffees.
Somehow the humiliating eyebrow situation had broken down any remaining barriers, and since then they’d been chatting non-stop.
‘You don’t have to stay,’ said Majella when the coffee had been drunk.
Dan shrugged easily. ‘If you’d rather be on your own, that’s fine. But if you’re happy for me to stay and keep you company . . . well, that’s good too. Like I said, Sara and the girls have gone off on a girlie shopping trip, so I don’t have anything else to do.’ His eyes crinkled at the corners. ‘I’m banned from going along with them. Thank God.’
Majella laughed. ‘I have girls and my husband used to be banned too. Trust me, it’s the best way. How long have you been married?’
Dan sat back and counted on his fingers. ‘Well, we got married sixteen years ago. But we broke up five years ago and now we’re divorced.’
‘Really? Oh sorry, I didn’t realise. But you called her your wife.’
He grimaced. ‘It’s not the first thing you tend to blurt out when you meet someone. We had an amicable divorce and we’ve stayed friends for the sake of the girls. We come down here every summer for a week’s holiday. En famille,’ he added wryly. ‘Apart from those hours-long shopping expeditions.’
‘Ah, but it’s nice that you can go away on holiday together.’
‘How about you and your husband? All good?’
‘Well it was good. He died a few years ago.’ There it was, the habitual stab of pain as she uttered the words. But it was lessening, and it was becoming easier to say.
‘I’m so sorry. How awful for you.’
‘It was. But we’re getting there.’ To lighten the mood, Majella said, ‘I’ve just started dating again.’
‘Oh, well done. And how’s that going?’
‘Funny you should ask. Absolutely dreadful.’ She laughed. ‘Diabolical, in fact. I was looking forward to meeting someone at a lunch party today, but all this happened instead. Which is why I’m stuck here with my wonky eyebrows, no make-up on and terrible clothes. Instead of there, dolled up to the nines and making a drop-dead-gorgeous man fall in love with me at first sight.’
‘Well that’s a shame. I mean, I’d offer to stay here and wait for the glazier so you can get to your party, but I’m a stranger . . .’
‘Thank you.’ Majella nodded, grateful to him for understanding. ‘I’ve met you, so I do trust you, but this is my responsibility.’
‘If he does turn up soon, I can definitely drive you back to St Carys, if that would help.’
‘You’re so kind. I don’t think he’s going to get here in time, but thanks for the offer.’
‘You should pluck your other eyebrow, though,’ said Dan. ‘Just in case.’
‘I shall. Can it be my turn to ask you another question now?’
‘Anything you like.’
‘The kitten T-shirt . . .?’
‘Ah, of course. A Father’s Day present from my daughters. They forced me to put it on this morning.’ Mournfully he added, ‘I think it might be their way of ensuring I never get another girlfriend.’
Majella grinned. ‘It means you’re a great dad.’
‘Either that or a soft touch.’
The next second they both jumped as the doorbell did its bing-bong thing again.
‘All right, love?’ It was the emergency glazier. ‘You sounded so desperate earlier I decided to bump you up the list. Where’s this broken window, then? Let’s get it sorted for you.’
‘Brilliant,’ said Dan. ‘You’re her knight in shining armour.’
And Majella’s heart did a tiny skip-and-a-jump because maybe this was fate, it was meant to be, and thirty years from now she and Oliver would laugh and tell friends the story of how, if it hadn’t been for a kind-hearted glazier, they would never have met at Oliver’s cousin’s lunch party.
The replacement window was installed in record time, whilst Majella frantically plucked the scary eyebrow. Once the glazier and his frankly extortionate weekend call-out fee had been paid and the house secured, she jumped into the passenger seat of Dan’s Toyota.
‘This is so kind of you.’ She checked her freshly plucked eyebrow in the rear-view mirror – still bright red, but it would die down soon enough.
‘My pleasure.’ They left Bude and headed towards St Carys. ‘Should you make a call and let them know you’ll be there in an hour?’
He was right. Majella rang Judi to update her on the situation and explain that – hooray – she’d be joining them after all. Then Dan’s ex-wife called him and he told her on hands-free about the unexpected turn his own day had taken.
‘She sounds lovely,’ said Majella when the call was over and Dan’s ex-wife had wished her good luck with the potential new man.
‘She is lovely. We get on so much better now we aren’t married.’
Twenty-five minutes later they reached Menhenick House and he pulled up opposite the open gates. Majella said, ‘Thank you so much. Can I at least give you some money for the petrol?’
‘Don’t even think of it. Happy to help.’ Dan frowned, gazing through the open gates. ‘Who’s that over there, the chap in the hat? You know who he reminds me of? That old actor . . . the one with all the ex-wives . . .’
‘Sir Richard Myles, you mean? That’s my father-in-law.’
‘You must hear it all the time then,’ said Dan. ‘I bet people are always saying it. Your father-in-law looks just like him.’
Time was of the essence. Majella opened the passenger door. ‘You’ve been brilliant. Thanks for finding the passports, and for the lift . . .’
Jokingly he shooed her away. ‘Off you go, get yourself done up and knock this guy’s socks off. I hope it goes well for you.’
Majella ran a hand over her hair to smooth it down, which was especially pointless seeing as she was about to jump in the shower. ‘Me too. I’m starting to get nervous now.’
‘Hey, just relax and enjoy yourself.’ Dan’s smile was reassuring as he knocked the car into gear. ‘No need to be nervous. Remember, he’s the lucky one.’
As soon as it was safe to pull up at the side of the road, Lainey stopped and called Seth’s number.
He picked up on the second ring. ‘It’s OK if you missed it, you did your best.’
‘No, I got there just in time.’
‘Oh thank God.’ She heard him exhale with relief.
‘Poor Mrs Gardner, she and her husband were waiting in the taxi at the entrance to the main gate. She burst into tears when she saw me with the passports. Honestly, it was worth all the agony.’
‘Thanks so much for doing it. You’re a star.’
His words made her flush with joy. ‘Two minutes to spare; I bet the taxi driver had to actually drive up the gangplank and fling them onto the ship— Aargh.’ Lainey jumped in her seat as the earth-shaking blast of the ship’s horn sounded behind her.
When it had finished, Seth said, ‘And off they go. All thanks to you. Go and get something to eat now.’
‘I will. I’m going to treat myself,’ said Lainey, ‘to a Greggs sausage roll.’
‘Oh here she is at last,’ Judi exclaimed, greeting Majella with open arms and an enthusiastic hug. ‘And look at her, doesn’t she look fabulous?’
And Majella smiled, because she actually did feel fabulous. Having got herself showered and ready faster than the speed of light, for once all the preparations had gone well and it felt like an omen. Her make-up was just right, she’d put her freshly washed hair up in a casual topknot and the loose fronds had curled fetchingly around her face, and her white sundress was the nicest thing she’d bought in years. Glancing around the restaurant, she nodded and waved at several people she knew, and took note of those she hadn’t met before, searching for Oliver.
Oh no, don’t say he was one of those people who put up photos of himself that had been taken thirty years ago. Unable to spot him anywhere, Majella said, ‘So where’s this cousin you were telling me about?’
‘Ollie? Oh he’s not here yet. Something came up, but he’s going to try and get along later.’
Which felt like nature’s way of letting you know what an idiot you’d been for thinking your own better-than-expected preparations might have been an omen.