Her face turned sad as her hand slipped onto my arm. “Because I know them. They protect their own, and like it or not, you’re one of them now. Do you really think they would have taken you in when they had nothing if they didn’t want to help you? And then they let you stay, even though you can’t go out on jobs.”
Her words made sense, but deep down, I just didn’t trust them. And I didn’t know if I would ever trust anyone again. Adams had lied to all of us working for him. He had used us in sick games, leading us to believe that Vanessa was endangering herself when he was the one putting her in danger. I had gone from being in the military, fighting alongside other men that put their lives on the line the same as me, to working for a man that only thought of himself, putting everyone around him in danger.
I stepped away from her, hating to see the longing in her eyes. I pushed aside the need to pull her into my arms and kiss her, and turned to go inside. I wished that I had something to give her. I wished that I was a different man, but all that was left was this shell of a man who didn’t know how to give anything else.
I checked in, grabbing my room key and heading up to my room. I needed to check in with the guys and see what still needed to be done. Knight had come out earlier this week and set up most everything we would need with Lola. Still, there were things that needed to be finished up.
I tossed my bag on the bed and was just about to unpack when there was a knock at my door. I answered without looking, thinking it was one of the guys coming to get me. But it wasn’t. It was Becky and she looked fucking pissed. She shoved inside without waiting for me to step aside. I spun around, pissed that she was coming back for more.
“What the fuck do you want?”
“I want you to stop acting like an asshole.”
“I thought we settled this downstairs?”
“Yeah, well, I thought about it, and I decided that I’m through with you pushing me away. You started this. You came after me. You made me want you when I was ready to move on with life, and you don’t get to just walk away now like I mean nothing!”
I slammed the door and stalked toward her. “I’ll walk away any fucking time I feel like it. We aren’t a couple and I sure as shit don’t need you telling me what I should think or feel. You think I treat you like you’re nothing? It’s because you mean fucking nothing to me!”
I slammed my lips down on hers, grabbing her around the waist and dragging her up against my body. God, I loved the feel of her, and I was only half lying when I said that she meant nothing to me. She meant everything to me, I just didn’t want to want her like I did. But her body felt right against mine, and her kisses soothed me in a way that made me crave her. Pushing her away was the only way I knew to not feel this pain inside.
I pushed her back against the bed, climbing on top of her. I popped the buttons on her shirt, my lips finding their way along her body. Her skin prickled as I kissed down her stomach and her fingers threaded through my hair, pulling me flat against her. Flicking the button on her jeans, I dragged them off her and spread her legs, kissing my way up her thighs. Her legs squeezed against me, trying to cut off my path to her pussy. But she started this and I was going to be the one to say when it was finished.
My fingers slid up her thighs until I was pressing her wide open. I leaned forward and sniffed, loving the scent of her creaming for me. I looked up into her hungry eyes as I spread my tongue flat against her panties. I could feel the dampness against my tongue, and her body shook as I gave another long swipe. God, I shouldn’t be doing this. Her fingers gripped my short strands of hair, and urged me on. But when I couldn’t get enough of her, I tore the thin scrap of material and dove in for my first taste of the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. My tongue slid inside her and she jerked me to her. My fingers slid along her clit and I grinned when she screamed out my name. Her juices slid onto my tongue as I pulled the last of her orgasm from her.
When her fingers finally eased up in my hair, I pulled back and licked the last remains of her from my lips. She sat up and pulled me up to her, kissing me hard and tearing my shirt up over my head. I climbed back on top of her, fumbling with my jeans, needing them off of me as soon as possible. The gentle caress of her hands on my arms made me feel like the man I once was. And I wanted to be him again. But then her hands skimmed over the rough skin of my chest and I yanked her hands up over her head. I couldn’t stand her to touch me there, anywhere that my skin was puckered and disgusting.
“Coop, I-”
“Shut the fuck up,” I growled, slamming my mouth down on hers and I slid inside her. She gasped against my mouth, but then wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me into her. I slammed into her hard, relishing in the warmth of her body. I lost all control, forgetting to be considerate or gentle. I just needed her and I was going to take what I wanted for once.
I was so close when I finally opened my eyes and looked at her again. Her eyes bored into me, begging me to give her what she needed. I slid my hand down to her pussy again, strumming her body until she squeezed me tight. I couldn’t hold on any longer. I pumped into her again and again, my sweaty skin slapping against hers. I came on a shout, spilling myself inside her, only after thinking that I hadn’t taken any precautions. She must have read the worry on my face because she placed her hand on my arm.
“I’m on birth control.”
I nodded and briskly moved away from her, pulling my jeans on and turning away from her. That had been a mistake. I never should have done that, not when I wasn’t prepared to offer her anything. I yanked on my shirt and tossed her clothes to her. I didn’t miss the shock on her face that I had just been a complete ass. Sighing, I ran a hand over my face.
“You should leave.”
“Yeah,” she clipped. “I figured that much.”
“Look, I already told you-”
“Oh, shut up!” I turned to her, surprised that she was being so forceful with me. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you throwing your pity party anymore. You were dealt a shitty hand. I get it, it sucks. But that doesn’t give you the right to shit on everyone around you. You want to be an ass? Fine, but don’t expect anyone to stick around.”
She shuffled off the bed and quickly slipped on her shoes. She was out the door before I even processed everything she said. I sat down on the bed and dropped my head into my hands. I knew I had to stop fucking up. I just couldn’t seem to stop myself once I had started. I didn’t know what that meant for me or for the life I was trying to build with Kayla, but I knew that if I didn’t pull my shit together soon, I was going to end up alone for the rest of my life.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Morgan
The lodge was exactly what I had imagined for Christmas. There were several trees in the lobby, each fully decorated and giving the place tons of Christmas cheer. There were branches of garland tied to the banisters and little snowmen and nutcrackers spread throughout the entire lodge. Even the outside had been decorated for Christmas. But I had only seen it in passing, and now I wanted to go check it all out.
“Chance, I’m just going to look around the lodge. You don’t have to come with me.”
“Yes, I do,” he snapped. “Just because we have the whole place monitored doesn’t mean that it’s safe to go out on your own.”
I sighed, rubbing my forehead as a migraine came on. This wedding was turning out to be more of a hassle than I ever imagined. “Look, you said that you were watching everything. Every single member of Reed Security is here. What exactly do you think is going to happen?”
His hand slid around my waist, slowly drawing me into his body. “That’s what fucking scares me,” he said quietly. “I thought I could protect you before, and that asshole got you. I’ll never make that mistake again. I’ll never let down my guard even slightly if there’s a sign of danger. Because you and Payton mean more to me than my own life. And without you, life just isn’t worth it.”
He kissed me gently, but it grew into something urge
nt and needy. Before I knew it, I was shoved up against the door and his hands were pulling at my pants, shoving them down my legs. I toed off my boots and let the pants slide off my legs just as he lifted me in the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my fingers twisting in his hair. Throwing my head back, I relished in the feel of his tongue on my skin. His warm breath huffing along my collarbone, sending chills down my spine.
“Chance,” I begged. I heard the jangling of his belt after one arm slipped away from me, and then he was pressing at my heat. In one swift move, he was inside, so deep that I gasped in surprise. It shouldn’t be a surprise. Chance had always been rough with me, and I really liked it.
My head bounced off the door over and over as he thrust inside me harder and harder every time. I could barely think as my whole body lit on fire. I was so close to losing my shit right now. His mouth latched onto the delicate skin of my neck, making me lose control and shatter around him. I vaguely heard his own groan before everything went still. Only the sounds of our heavy breathing filled the air.
His tongue lazily trailed over my breasts and up my neck before he kissed me again, softer and sweeter. This side didn’t come out very often, so I relished it whenever it appeared. I was melting into him, with every soft kiss and every brush of his fingers through my hair. Soon, I was wrapped around him, hugging him like I would lose him if he ever let go. Tears slipped from my eyes, wetting his shoulder.
“Hey,” he said quietly, trying to pull back from me, but I wouldn’t let go. “Morgan, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” But my voice caught in my throat, making me sound broken. But I was the furthest from broken.
He walked over to the bed and sat down, brushing his hand up and down my back until I finally felt normal again. When I pulled back, his eyes were concerned, and I felt terrible for making him worry. I gave a wobbly smile, sniffling back the remaining tears.
“I’m fine. It’s just hormones.”
“Hormones.”
I shrugged, slapping at his arm playfully. “It’s our wedding and I didn’t think we would ever be here. I guess I’m just feeling sentimental.”
He kissed me again, this time stronger, his fingers fisting in my hair, but a loud knocking had me jerking away.
“Are you two done in there?” a female voice shouted.
I tried to move from Chance, but he gripped my hips, keeping me right where I was.
“Just stay in bed with me,” he said, kissing me again, nipping at my neck until I felt like I was burning up.
“I can’t. I have to check everything out, make sure it’s okay.”
He groaned and set me gently on the floor. His massive erection standing proud again. I pouted, wanting to stay and suck his cock more than anything. But we had plenty of time to fuck around after we were married. With a sad sigh, I went back to the door and pulled on my clothes and slipped on my boots. When Chance was decent again, he joined me at the door. We shared a look, saying that neither of us wanted to do this, and then I opened the door.
Claire stood outside the door, a goofy grin on her face. “Wow. All I have to say is, that is a great way to start a wedding. I could hear you out here and I’m pretty sure the door was about to splinter in two.”
She seemed to remember herself, because she turned bright red and started babbling like she always did when she got nervous.
“Not that I was listening at the door. I was just passing and heard the noises, which could only be sex, and I stopped for a minute. Just a minute! I swear, I wasn’t like getting turned on or anything. And even if I was, it’s perfectly normal to feel that way after witnessing such a sexual-”
Her voice was cut off when Derek, who had snuck up behind her, wrapped his hand over her mouth. He bent in toward her ear, but I could still hear him whisper, “Listening to other people fuck, Claire?”
Her eyes went wide and her blush turned a deeper shade of red. He whispered something else, but that I couldn’t hear, and I desperately wished I could.
“So,” he said, looking up at us. “What are we doing now?”
“Um, looking around the lodge and making sure that everything’s ready for the wedding,” I said, still a little curious as to what he said.
“Cool, I’ll go with you.”
Claire gave him a funny look. “Why would you want to walk around with us?”
“I just want to be near you, Claire bear.”
I almost threw up, but Claire, gushed, giving him a kiss that rivaled what Chance and I had just done in the bedroom.
“I’ll go too,” Chance piped up. Since I knew what was really going on, there wasn’t much I could say, but Claire looked shocked as hell.
“You want to go?”
“Yeah,” he grinned. “This is my day too. I want to make sure everything is perfect for my blushing bride.”
“Aww, don’t we just have the sweetest men,” Claire said with a sigh. She turned, grabbing Derek’s hand and pulling him down the hall. I rolled my eyes. If she only knew why Derek was really coming along, she would smack him upside the head.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Ivy
“I don’t understand. Why aren’t we allowed to leave?”
Emma flipped through a book next to me, completely engrossed in what she was reading.
“Hello! Earth to Emma.” I waved my hand in front of her face and she slapped my hand away, barely registering that I was talking. I yanked the book out of her hand and held it behind me.
“Hey!” She jumped out of her chair and tried to grab for the book. “I was reading that.”
“Yeah, and we’re supposed to be going out, taking in the fresh air and enjoying ourselves. But instead, we’re locked up in this room and nobody is telling us why. Doesn’t that seem odd to you?”
She looked like she was really thinking about it for a moment. “Not really. Blake said that they were looking for bears and mountain lions. They wanted to make sure that there was no risk of us being attacked.”
“Okay, I could maybe understand that they wouldn’t want us to go outside, but why can’t we wander around the lodge?”
“I don’t know. Maybe there’s a root cellar where a mountain lion would hide, and then it would get into the building.”
“Really?”
She sighed heavily and grabbed her book back. “Look, Blake asked us to stay inside and I’m going to do that. Is it really that hard to just do as they say?”
I grumbled to myself as I walked over to the window. Yes, it really was that hard to do as they said. Jules was acting like I would be killed if I stepped outside this room. I snorted to myself. That was just ridiculous.
Down below, I saw Morgan and Claire walking out of the building with Derek and Chance. I narrowed my eyes at them, angry that I was being left behind. Then in the distance, I saw some of the guys, coming and going from the woods. What the hell? I squinted to see what one of them was carrying and gasped.
“Emma!” I waved for her to come over, not taking my eyes off the massive weapon that Cap was carrying. “Emma! Get over here. You have to see this!”
“What?”
“Come here!” I shouted, still keeping my eyes trained on Cap. But when she didn’t come over, I had to go grab her and drag her to the window. “Look!”
She looked out the window in the direction I was pointing. “I don’t see anything.”
I shoved her over slightly. “Look, right over-” It was gone. Cap was nowhere in sight and the weapon had disappeared. “It’s not there.”
“What’s not there?”
“The weapon. Cap had this huge missile thing over his shoulder and he was headed for the woods.”
She smacked me on the arm. “Why didn’t you tell me!”
“I did! I was yelling at you to come over here, but you didn’t listen!”
“That’s because I was reading a book!”
“Well, then you should have put it down!” I shouted back.
She took a deep breath. �
�Okay, let’s just forget about that and focus on the fact that our men are running around with weapons at what is supposed to be a wedding.”
“Right. We need to find out what they’re up to. We need to sneak out.”
“Are you kidding? Blake told us to stay here.”
“Jules only said for us to stay in the building. He didn’t specify this room. I say we take that flawed request and run with it. I bet there’s a ton of shit we can find out if we just sneak around the building.”
She chewed on her lip, her gaze flicking from outside to the hotel room door. It was taking her forever to decide, so I sighed loudly. “Okay, what the hell. Let’s do this.”
I grinned and ran for the door, but she grabbed me by the arm before I could open the door. “Wait, shouldn’t we wear a disguise or something?”
“Emma, we’re the only party at the lodge. If they see people sneaking around, we’re caught anyway. We just have to be super stealthy.”
“Stealthy. Right. I can do that.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “No, you can’t, but I’ll make sure that you’re not seen.”
She huffed in irritation, but didn’t say anything as I opened the door and peeked out. “Okay, the coast is clear. Let’s move.”
I slipped into the hallway and jogged down the hallway, keeping my back against the wall. I looked behind me to see Emma trying to mimic me, but stepping on her tiptoes.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
“Trying to be quiet.”
I shot her an incredulous look and turned back around, shaking my head. I kept moving, but paused when I heard male voices up ahead. Panicking, I turned to the first door I found and started banging on the door. I heard the door down the hall open just as the door I was standing in front of open. I pulled Emma by the arm and yanked her into the room, shoving past Reese and Raegan.
“What are you doing?” Raegan asked.
I took a deep, calming breath. “We’re spying on the guys.”
A Mad Reed Security Christmas Page 15