CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Coop
I stood there during the vows, funny as they were, and tried not to feel so damn depressed. I kept glancing over to Becky, thinking about what it would be like to marry her. She was fucking perfect, and I was…I was a fucking disaster. I had been running for so long that I really didn’t know how to just be here with someone else. For the longest time, it was just Kayla and me. And then Becky started hanging out with us, making us feel like we were all a family. But we weren’t and we never would be. What was the point? The last time that I was with a woman, she ended up dead and it was all my fault. Not to mention that I was fucking ugly to look at.
I thought back to my military days, how young and untouchable I felt. I knew that there was a possibility I would die, but I never thought about the things I would be put through and have to live with. All that time spent in the hospital really opened my eyes to what it was like for people that were caught up in war. They probably wished that they had died in battle, just so they wouldn’t have to suffer. There were men that had no legs or no arms. Others were like me, burned worse than me. Parts of my body were so hideous that even I didn’t want to look at them. How could I think anyone else would want to? I didn’t want to think about the look of horror that would appear on Becky’s face when she saw me. I already knew what I looked like and I didn’t need someone else to see it and prove to me that I was right in my assessment. Hell, she had seen enough of me to know that I was not a good looking guy anymore.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize that Becky was staring at me too. There was a sadness to her that I could commiserate with. It was the sadness of always being alone. Cheers went up around us and I broke eye contact first, turning away so I didn’t have to feel the pain of not having her anymore.
“Alright,” Cap called out, calming everyone down. “Chance, take your wife home and…anyway…let’s get all the ladies back home. Cazzo, Derek, and I will stay and deal with all this crap. We’ll see you guys tonight. From what I hear, Susan has a big meal planned for all of us.”
I turned and walked away, not really paying attention to anyone around me. I just wanted to get the fuck away from everyone. Sometimes it really sucked feeling so down about yourself all the time. I pulled my keys from my pocket and unlocked my truck.
“Daniel!” Becky called out, running after me. I groaned and rested my head against the truck. I was so close.
“Yeah?”
“I need a ride.”
“You drove here.”
She pointed toward the building where her car was crushed under debris from the fire. Well, there wasn’t much I could say about that. “Alright. Get in.”
“Gee, you don’t have to sound so enthusiastic.” She climbed in the truck and laughed. “Would you relax? I’m not going to maul you.”
“Could have fooled me,” I muttered under my breath.
“Hey, you’ve made it perfectly clear that nothing will ever happen between us. And even if you did give me the best sex of my life, I’m not so stupid to keep coming back for more after you kicked me out of your bed like I was a diseased rodent.”
I grunted, not having anything to say to that, and backed out of the driveway. Yeah, I had treated her like shit and I knew that, but part of me still hurt knowing that she was done coming after me. It was insane to even feel that way after how I treated her. But she was right, it was the best sex I’d ever had, and I was glad to know that I wasn’t the only one that felt that way. The shitty part was that I hadn’t put all my effort into that. So now I was left with blue balls, thinking about how good it could be in the future. A future that we would never have.
“So, what are you going to do now that Adams is dead?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, are you leaving or are you sticking around?”
I sighed and glanced over at her. “We’ve talked about this. It’s never going to happen between us.”
She was silent for a minute, just staring at me in disbelief. “Wow. I had no idea you were so egotistical. To think, I was sitting here wondering what your plans were, just for the sake of conversation and knowing that it must be a huge relief for you and Kayla to be able to have a normal life. But somehow, you’ve turned this into me asking, because I still haven’t gotten the hint after you kicked me out of your bed and flat out told me it wasn’t happening, all because I’m secretly hoping that you’ll change your mind and decide that you want me. I just had no idea that I was so transparent,” she snapped.
An awkward silence settled between us, so I tried going for a joke. “Well, I’m happy I could point that out to you.”
Yeah, there was no laughter. I could feel her eyes burning a hole in my head. In fact, I was pretty sure that I could feel my head starting to smoke, and the imminent danger of my head exploding like it was in her mind, was very real.
“Look, I’m not trying to harp on you. I just don’t want you to get the wrong-”
“Enough!” she shouted. “I get it! You don’t want me. You don’t have to keep shoving it in my face and making me feel like crap. If I had known that I was that repulsive to you, I would have walked away a long time ago.”
I could hear the crack in her voice, but she turned her head toward the window. I caught her swiping at her face and felt like shit. I wanted to pull over and grab her and take her in my arms, but that would only make her angrier. I couldn’t keep playing with her like that. And every time I spoke, I just made things worse between us. So, we sat in silence the rest of the drive and I pretended to ignore her sniffles, while she pretended to ignore me.
When I pulled into Reed Security, she looked at me funny. “Why did you bring me here?”
Her red eyes made pain shoot through my chest. “Because Susan is making a Christmas dinner. I thought you would want to be with your family.”
She yanked the door open and hopped out. “I don’t have any family,” she said sadly before slamming the door and walking for the road. I got out and ran after her, grabbing her arm to stop her.
“Of course, we’re your family. You’ve worked with everyone for so long-”
“That doesn’t make them family. I don’t belong here anymore.”
“Well…” I stopped, trying to figure out to do, what to say to get her to stay. “What are you going to do instead? Sit alone at Christmas?”
“That’s what I do every year. What makes this year any different?”
She turned and walked away, leaving me standing there feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet. Just because I couldn’t be with her didn’t mean that I needed to push her away like that. Everyone needed someone, and she was telling me she had no one. What was more depressing than that? And suddenly, all I wanted this Christmas was to put a smile on her face. I didn’t know what that meant, and I didn’t want to try and decipher it, but I wanted to make that happen for her, and damn the consequences. I’d do whatever it took, even make myself vulnerable to her. Because she did deserve happiness, and if she wanted that with me, I could try. Well, I could take baby steps.
I ran to catch up to her and threw her over my shoulder, smiling at her squealing. She started hitting me in the back, hitting a few tender spots, but I ignored it. It was the least I deserved after everything.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking you home.”
“This isn’t home. Put me down, you big neanderthal!”
“Nope,” I said, grinning as I headed into the building. She squirmed and kicked, doing everything she could to get away, but I held her tight.
“I’m going to scream!”
“Go ahead. Everyone will be on my side.”
“Then I’ll kick you in the balls!”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I deserve that.”
She grunted in frustration and continued hitting me. “I’ll hack into Knight’s robot and release the nerve gas on you!”
I chuckled. “I know you’re good,
but I’d like to see you try and hack Knight’s robot.”
“What? You think I’m not good enough?”
“I know you’re good enough. I’d just like to see the look on Knight’s face.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“I already knew that.”
I walked through the housing area of the panic room and over to the kitchen where Susan was busy working at the stove.
“I have a delivery for you,” I said, setting Becky down on her feet.
“Oh!” Susan exclaimed. “Are you here to help me?” Then her face morphed into disbelief as she took in our appearances. “What happened at that wedding?”
“You don’t want to know.”
She waved me off. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Another day of work for you guys. Anyway, Becky, here’s an apron,” she said, pulling out an extra apron from the drawer. “Put this on and you can help me get this feast ready.”
I turned to go, but she stopped me. “Not so fast. Don’t think that you’re getting out of helping, young man.” I smirked at her, thinking it was hilarious that she was calling me a young man. I was anything but young. “I have so many bags of potatoes here, and they’re not going to peel themselves.”
She tossed another apron at me and pointed to a large pile of potatoes that were waiting. I quickly tied it on, grimacing at the apron. Kiss the Cook How many people would try to kiss me today?
“And if you see any others wandering around, you tell them to get in here.”
“Oh, you can bet that I’m going to let others join in the fun,” I said with a grin.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Knight
“Is it done?” Carlos asked as I walked into the room.
“It’s done. I’ve disposed of the body.”
“How do I know it’s really done then?”
I smirked and walked over to him, tossing the photos down on the table. I had a picture from every angle possible, including the shot that I took, showing the back of his head missing. “I’d say that is proof enough. Besides, what did you think I was going to do, drag his body into the bar?”
He smirked at me and tossed the pictures onto the table. “This has been a very mutually beneficial relationship.”
“It’s the last time you’ll see me. I think we can both agree that it would be for the best if we never saw each other again.”
He looked disappointed, but gave a nod. “Nice doing business with you.”
I turned and walked out of the bar, heading down the street to my bike. I got on and pulled a burner phone from my pocket, dialing a contact that I used to have at the FBI. He thought I was dead, and it was best if it stayed that way. But this was something that needed to be handled delicately, and I knew he would recognize my voice. When I had been an assassin, I had been known only by my name. But this guy, Jim Caldwell, knew exactly who I was. He had been on a stakeout and had been made. I was working a job when I saw him about to be executed by the very man I was being paid to take out. I could have allowed him to be killed first. It would have saved me a lot of hassle, but that just wasn’t who I was. He agreed not to talk about me, and I agreed not to kill him. I had called him a time or two when I had information that was sensitive, and he always pretended that he had received it anonymously.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Jim, I have something you need.”
He paused on the other end. “Who is this?”
“You know who this is. We need to meet.”
“When?”
“One hour.”
“Where?”
“Our usual spot,” I said, implying an underground club that everyone went to when they wanted discretion. I hung up and made my way through the streets of Pittsburgh, arriving forty-five minutes early, scoping out the streets and making sure that no one showed up that wasn’t supposed to. No one suspicious appeared and Jim arrived five minutes early, working his way to the club. I followed at a distance, making sure that he wasn’t trying to communicate with anyone along the way. He walked into a back room, slipping the man at the door some money. I repeated his gesture and locked the door behind me. Jim stood in shock.
“I thought you were dead. It’s been years. Where have you been?”
“Would you believe me if I said I went straight?”
“Not a chance in hell.”
I smirked. “Well, believe it.” I tossed him an envelope that held the flash drive of all the information that Adams had collected on Carlos over the years. It also contained a photo of Adams, just the one of the head shot that I took. None of the others were necessary.
He opened the envelope and pulled out the photos. “Handiwork of yours?”
“Possibly.”
“I thought you said you were out.”
“This man hired me a long time ago to do a job. Let’s just say that he started my whole reformation.”
“What do you want me to do about him?”
“Nothing. Leave it alone. You won’t find his body. What you need is on the flash drive.”
“What is it?”
“Information Adams gathered over the years about criminal activity of Carlos Rodríguez.”
He stared at me in shock. “Carlos Rodriguez. From the cartels. As in…”
“Yeah. Just make sure that you put him away.”
He nodded slightly. “So, does this mean…”
“I’m out. I won’t be coming to you anymore.”
“Well, I guess it’s good you’re not dead. And not back to kill me,” he said nervously.
“Relax. Just take care of this, and as long as you don’t come after me, I won’t be forced to kill you.”
“Sure. No problem. This never happened, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re dead.”
“Good. Let’s keep it that way.”
I slipped out of the room and worked my way through the crowd. It was time to get back for Christmas with my family.
⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️⛄️
We were all gathered in the panic room for Christmas dinner. Susan had made a mouthwatering meal that I was all too happy to eat. I was even sort of smiling and pretending to like the conversation around me. It was a new feeling to me, to be happy around so many other people. Not to mention that Susan spoiled me. Ever since she was on the run with us, hiding out in my house in Colorado, she treated me like her son, and I kind of liked it. More than that, I liked that Jackson got jealous.
I was drinking a beer as we all stood in one of the larger living areas while the kids ran around playing and the women laughed about the weirdest things. I even saw them all stand in a circle, with one foot each sticking out to the center, and took a picture. Whatever the hell that was.
Cap walked over and jerked his head toward the fake fireplace where no one else was. I almost tripped over the train that was running around the Christmas tree. The track was longer than anything I had ever seen before. Stepping over it, I moved over to the fireplace, staring into the LED flames as if we were just having a casual conversation.
“What’s going on?” I asked when we were a safe distance from anyone trying to listen in.
“Adams is taken care of?”
“Of course.”
“Knight, what’s going on? You murdered a fucking senator, and now you’re involved with a cartel. I don’t have to tell you that we’ve all been through enough already. Whatever this is, it’s gotta stop.”
“There’s nothing for anyone to worry about. I wrapped up a few loose ends and killed two birds with one stone in Adams’ case.”
“You’re playing with fire. Look, I get that maybe you’re feeling restless, but you can’t go back.”
“I’m not. I’m asking you to trust me. You know how I feel about dirty senators. Well, this one was connected to me, and up until Reid came into the picture, there was never a need for him to be taken care of. But if he stayed alive, he would eventually see me. And that might open up a whole can of worms that none of us want to deal with.�
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“And none of that had to do with retribution,” he said blandly.
“Fuck yes, it did. But that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t watching out for everyone when I took him out. Imagine what would have happened if he found out I was still alive. Imagine all the shit you would have had to deal with. And with Adams, I didn’t intentionally get involved with the cartels. I went to his hotel to make sure that I had all the information I needed before we took him out. Carlos just fell into my lap. He would have sent an assassin after Adams, and we would have been fucked.”
Cap sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Alright, but promise me this is over. No more going rogue. Enough is enough.”
“There’s nothing else.” And then I thought about it. “Well, that’s almost it. I may have taken some blackmail from the senator’s safe.”
“Really?” he said in exasperation. “Why the fuck didn’t you just leave it?”
“Because information is power. And what I have is enough to put some very powerful people away for a very long time.”
“Christ, it’s like you want to bring more trouble into our lives.”
“Relax, that stuff will stay good and buried unless we ever need, which, I hope to God we don’t. With Kate pregnant again, I just want some peace and quiet.”
“Well, hopefully we’re going to get that now.”
Susan called us for dinner, and we all sat down at the very long table she had put together for us. Everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves, and for the first time in a very long time, I finally felt like my whole world had come together. I had family and friends, and that was more than a guy could ever ask for. But I would never tell anyone I thought that.
CHAPTER FIFTY
Becky
Everyone was saying their goodbyes and that meant it was time for me to leave also. I wasn’t so naive as to think that just because Coop wanted me here for dinner and held my hand whenever he got the chance that it meant we were together. I grabbed my coat and made my way over to him.
A Mad Reed Security Christmas Page 22