by Ashley West
But that was before he'd realized how lonely silence could be sometimes. Mostly because Emma wasn't speaking to him.
It was actually painful. On one level because he'd just been trying to do the right thing by her when he'd apologized. Honestly, he still felt like he'd been doing the right thing. She'd been a prisoner and hadn't had contact with people outside of her fellow captives and the Alva for months. Taking advantage of her was wrong, and he'd been so caught up in his own desires that he hadn't stopped to think about that in the moment.
Once he'd gotten up to go check on the status of the team who had been sent to recover an Alva, it had hit him hard, and he'd felt bad for it.
Apparently Emma hadn't seen it the same way.
On another level, it was painful because often they were the only two on the ship. Malachi didn't want to leave her alone, and sometimes Priya volunteered to stay behind so that Malachi could train or go help with the efforts to take down more Alva who were off on their own, but often it was just them.
Emma either stayed in her room or pointedly ignored him when he spoke to her, and it was wearing on his nerves, if he was honest. A couple of the others had noticed, usually when Emma saw fit to join them for the evening meal, and they teased him about it.
"What'd you do to piss off the little human, boss?" and "I guess your way with women doesn't extend to human ones."
It was all in good fun for them, clearly, but they didn't understand, and Malachi wasn't going to try to explain. His crew had accepted the human in their midst with good enough grace, and he wasn't going to push that by letting them know that he'd slept with her and was perplexed about where it had gone wrong.
He would just have to deal with this.
Or ask for help.
Thyrra was his sounding board for most things. She was essentially his best friend, and having her on another planet was harder than he had been expecting. She wasn't a part of the group coming in to back them up, either, since she was in charge of things back on Dorn in his absence. According to the General, Thyrra was doing a wonderful job.
It wasn't the first time Malachi had thought that she would make a better Champion than he would, and it probably wouldn't be the last.
A week and a half after the disaster (as he privately thought of the day that he'd slept with Emma, messed that whole thing up, and managed to torture an Alva to death), he gave in and put a call through to the Thyrra.
He was lucky enough that she was there to respond.
"You look grim," was the first thing she said.
"You look radiant," Malachi said back. And she did. She was dirty and covered with sweat from what was probably a good round of training recruits, but she never looked more beautiful than she did when she was in her element.
"Oh no, flattery. You must want something."
"I can't just be calling for a status report?" Malachi asked. They both knew that wasn't why he was calling, but Thyrra snapped into soldier mode anyway, giving him a little salute and straightening her back.
"Everything's fine here, Champion," she said. "The recruits are progressing nicely and will be ready to join the ranks within the month. They've been picking up extra patrol and guard duties since we have a number of the ranks gone, and they're showing excellent promise."
It was easy to follow her lead and be professional in the moment. Malachi inclined his head and saluted back. "That's good to hear. Hopefully we won't lose many of our own in this battle that is to come, but it's good to know the ranks won't take a hard hit if we do." And by the stars, that felt callous to say.
"How is that going, by the way?" Thyrra asked, relaxing back into her normal position. "Is that why you look so grim?"
Malachi sighed. "It's one of the reasons." He quickly explained about their plan to figure out what the Alva were doing with the humans they were capturing. "And we ended up having to kill the one we caught because he wouldn't tell us anything. It was...unpleasant."
"You never did like that part," Thyrra replied. "A warrior with no stomach for war."
"I handle war just fine," he insisted. "It's the murder I have problems with."
Thyrra tipped her head to the side, eyes kind. "You do know that's a part of war, right? You can't let the enemy go home at the end of the day. That's just asking for trouble."
"I know, Thyrra. I've been doing this long enough that I understand that." It didn't mean he had to like it, though.
She nodded, sensing he didn't want to talk about it anymore, clearly. "What are the other reasons?" Thyrra asked. "If the Alva are only one."
Malachi inhaled deeply and then let his breath out in a messy rush. The air on Earth was still hard to breathe sometimes, so full of toxins and things he didn't want to be breathing in. "I am...confused," he admitted. Thyrra had seen him in some of his weakest moments, but this was hard to tell her. For one, because he had to admit that he'd gone back on his word and slept with the human he'd purchased, and for another because he knew she was going to go the 'tough love' route with her advice, if she had any.
"About?"
He sighed. "Do you remember the human woman?"
"You mean the one you bought?" she asked, putting emphasis on that last word.
Malachi gave her a flat look through the screen. "Yes, her."
"I remember her. What's happened?"
"Well, I... She's..."
Apparently, Thyrra knew him well enough that he didn't have to explain much further than that. Her eyes widened, and she put a hand over her mouth for a second before leaning in closer to the screen on her side of the call. "You slept with her?" she hissed.
"How do you know?" Malachi demanded.
"Because you have that look on your face," she said. "The guilt look. I remember that look from the first time we slept together when you were all 'Thyrra, I'm sorry if this makes things awkward between us now. I'm your superior, so I should have stopped it'." She put on a deep voice, clearly imitating him. "Never mind that I had been climbing all over you that night when we were at the cantina."
"And then you punched me afterwards."
"Because you were being an idiot. Were you an idiot with the human, too? I mean besides sleeping with her because that's a whole other level of idiocy."
She really did know him too well. "I suppose I was. Because she's angry with me."
"For sleeping with her or for something stupid you said after?"
"The latter."
Thyrra nodded. "Well, I don't blame her, then. You can't just sleep with someone and then come up with some reason why you shouldn't have. Do you have any idea how insulting that is?"
"I...apologizing was the right thing to do!"
"It's never the right thing to do. Especially if it was clear that the other person wanted it just as much. You know what apologizing says? It says 'I know you made an informed decision to sleep with me, but I'm invalidating that because my feelings on the matter are more important than yours'."
"That's not-"
"It is, Malachi."
He sighed again. "So how do I fix it, then? She won't talk to me, and I..."
"We'll come back to that. What I want to know is what were you doing sleeping with her in the first place? She's a human!"
"So?"
"So, she's been with the Alva. For months before you showed up. How do you know you can trust her?"
Malachi blinked, taken aback. "What do you mean? You think she's working for them to uncover our secrets or something?"
Thyrra shrugged a shoulder. "Could be. I don't know."
"Thyrra, they kept her in a cage! For almost a year. I had to buy her to set her free, remember?"
"Maybe. Or maybe that's just what they wanted you to think. How do you know there wasn't a deal before that? Like if she spies on you, they set her free. I mean, why would they choose her specifically to sell to you?"
Sometimes Thyrra made too much sense, and Malachi frowned, not wanting to entertain that line of thinking. "That's not what's happening her
e, Thyrra."
"But how do you know?" she asked. "If you were a prisoner, wouldn't you do anything to get free?"
"Not if it meant betraying someone else."
"It's not betrayal, though. She didn't even know who you were or anything about you. Spy on a stranger, earn your freedom. It's a pretty good deal."
"That's not what's happening," Malachi said again, voice firm. "I don't believe it. You've never even met her."
"Okay, okay," Thyrra said. "Don't get angry with me. I'm just pointing things out. It's what I do as your second, remember?"
He dragged in another deep breath and then nodded. "I know. Do you have anything to point out about the real problem here?"
"That your pet human is freezing you out?"
"Thyrra."
"Sorry. But I already said my piece on that. You need to apologize, but this time do it for being an idiot."
"Will she forgive me?"
"How should I know? As you've just pointed out, I don't even know her."
"You are an immense help, as always," Malachi said, letting the sarcasm bleed into his voice.
"And you are ungrateful for my wisdom. As always. I'm glad Earth hasn't changed you."
Malachi gave her a look and then sighed once more. He was doing that a lot lately. "Thank you, Thyrra. I should go. We have to coordinate a plan to capture another Alva since the first was no help."
"Good luck," she said. "We're all rooting for you back here. And Malachi?"
"Hm?"
"Be careful. I know you've planned for what will happen if you lose people down there, but no one wants to lose you."
He smiled at her and inclined his head. "I'll do my best."
When he signed off from the call, he felt better. Thyrra always did have a way of making whatever he was fretting about seem ridiculous enough that he could overcome it. Of course, her warning about Emma was lurking in the back of his mind, even though he really didn't want it to.
He didn't believe that she was working for the Alva, but... He couldn't say he knew all that much about Emma. She wouldn't tell him things about herself, like where her family was and what had happened to them, and she got upset when he asked. True, it wasn't really any of his business, but maybe there was another reason... If the Alva were holding them hostage or something in exchange for her cooperation...
Bah. Too many open ended thoughts and not enough answers.
What Malachi needed was a course of action. That was what he was best at, making a plan and sticking to it, doing something instead of sitting around thinking about it. He could apologize to Emma for hurting her and that would be a step in the right direction.
She’d probably come out of her room already, for breakfast or to shower, but he’d been careful not to be in her way, mostly because watching her walk right by him like he didn’t even exist was not fun. Now he made his way to her door, taking a deep breath before he applied his knuckles in a knock, hoping she wouldn’t ignore him.
A few seconds passed before the door slid open, and there was Emma, sitting on her bed looking right at him. She didn’t say anything, and Malachi knew it was up to him.
“May I come in?” he asked softly.
“It’s your ship,” she said, looking back down at her lap.
“That wasn’t my question.”
“What do you want?”
He clenched one hand into a fist behind his back, already irritated. “I wanted to speak with you.”
“About what? Throwing me back to the Alva now?”
“What? No! Why would you think that?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Dunno. I haven’t held up my end of the deal, I guess. What you’re letting me stay here for.”
“Emma…” Malachi didn’t know what to say to that, so he let out a breath and started over. “I wanted to apologize for what happened.”
“You already did that,” Emma said bitterly.
“Not that. I guess I’m...apologizing for apologizing. For hurting you, at the very least. I...what I said was...wrong.” Was that right? She wasn’t looking at him, so he couldn’t tell if she was angrier than she’d been to begin with.
For a long moment she didn’t say anything, then she drew in a breath and glanced up at him before looking away. “Okay.”
Was that it?
“Okay?”
“Okay. You’re sorry.”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
He’d expected something more than that. When he’d apologized to Thyrra for the way he’d behaved when they’d first slept together, there had been a long back and forth and then she’d punched him and told him not to do it again. Emma wasn’t giving him much to work with, and he didn’t know enough about humans to read her body language or try to tell from her face. ‘Okay’ wasn’t a real response. It wasn’t an ‘I forgive you’. It wasn’t even an ‘I don’t forgive you and I wish we’d never met’. It was just...neutral. Bland. Unsatisfying. The problem was, he didn’t know what else to say or how to push to get more or even if that was a good idea.
So he turned to leave.
Before he’d made it fully back into the hall, her voice made him pause.
“I didn’t regret it, you know,” Emma said. “Sleeping with you. I meant that. Maybe you should figure out why you feel so guilty about it because it’s not about me.”
Malachi didn’t get a word out in response before the door was sliding closed, shutting him out.
Chapter Ten: Understanding
“Apologize for being an idiot, she says,” Malachi muttered to himself as he got dressed the next morning. “Tell her you’re sorry. That went so well.” He tied his pants closed and tucked his feet into his boots, lacing those as well before he walked out of his room, heading for the main section of the ship.
He wasn’t in the best mood. Sleep had been elusive the night before, and now they had to go out and find another Alva to try and get information from. The General was getting impatient, the backup would be there any day now, and they didn’t even have a plan.
As far as missions went, Malachi had been on and led more successful ones, but he wasn’t ready to call it quits yet. He worked better when he was agitated, anyway.
The table was not yet full as he sat down at it, pulling a plate of breakfast towards himself and grumbling under his breath as he ate and waited for everyone else to show up. As much as he didn’t like this method of collecting information, he couldn’t stay on the ship doing nothing for another day. Being ignored was one thing, but being bored out of his skull while he was being ignored was a whole other thing entirely, and he was sick of it.
“Ah, Champion, sir?” someone said, breaking into his thoughts.
Malachi’s head snapped up to see Oro standing there, watching him with wary eyes. “Yes?” Malachi asked.
Oro nodded at the plate. “Is there something wrong with the food? Only...you seem angry at it.”
He looked down at his plate and was surprised to see that he had been stabbing it vigorously for the last five minutes or so. He sighed and dropped his fork onto the table with a clatter, rubbing at his face.
“The food is fine, Oro,” Malachi said. When he looked around, the table had filled up, and nearly every eye in the room was on him. Great. He was just going to gloss over the fact that they’d probably all seen him taking his mood out on his breakfast. “The General wants results, people,” Malachi said, diving right in. “The backups will be here soon enough, and we need something to tell them. They didn’t come all this way just watch us run around with no plan. So today is the day we find out what’s going on in that building.”
“Are we capturing another Alva?” Hapt asked, looking gleeful.
Malachi shot him a disapproving look. “Yes. We need to know what they’re taking the humans for. Whatever it is, it can’t be good, and I’d rather know before we storm in there and cause unnecessary casualties.”
There were nods all around the table, and Malachi took it on faith that they
understood. “Okay, then. We’ll move in two groups today. Two of the Alva. If one won’t talk, we have the other, and if they both talk, we can compare their stories.”
“I’ll stay with Emma, sir,” Priya said without having to be asked.
“Thank you, Priya. I want her kept safe.”
She nodded and Malachi nodded back. Having something to do was already making him feel better.
“Finish eating and arm up,” he said. “We leave in twenty.”
Malachi pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and dragged in a deep breath. He was doing that a lot lately. His blood was pumping and his heart was pounding, and there was something so satisfying and so stressful about swooping in at the last minute to save a human man from being snatched up by an Alva.
Now they had the creature on its back in the dirt and had sent the human off, stumbling over himself to thank them again and again as he ran.
Malachi’s sword was in his free hand, and it was pointed right at the soft middle of the Alva while the rest of his crew held it down. With one slice, he’d have the creature bleeding out in the dirt, and he fought not to let his hand shake with that knowledge.
“Tell me what you’re taking the humans for,” Malachi said, enunciating each word with careful precision. Those beady eyes stared defiantly back, and Malachi flicked up the settings on his sword, letting the beam flare hotter and larger. “Tell me,” he said and lowered the sword so that the Alva would be able to feel the heat from it against its skin.
“I tell you,” it said in that grating voice, eyes wide. “I tell! I tell!”
“Huh,” Oro murmured. “I wasn’t expecting it to be that easy.”
Neither was Malachi, to be honest, but whatever got this over with faster. “Then talk,” he said firmly.
The Alva were not known for being articulate, so it took some time for them to get a clear picture of what the plan was. When they found out, though, it was horrifying, and they all unanimously agreed that the Alva they'd captured had to be killed so he couldn't go back and tell the others that the Randoran knew the plan now.
"I can't believe it," someone murmured, shaking their head.