by Ashley West
But he hadn't turned out to be a nerd at all. Nathaniel was sitting relaxed on the back of the boat — the stern, I reminded myself — wearing only shorts and a muscle shirt. His powerful legs and firm biceps were on display for my perusal. I wondered when I would give myself permission to do what I wanted to do with him.
Was I going to wait until I saw him again, sometime next month? When we were strangers again and would have to get used to each all over? Did that make sense?
Where did I get that rule that I couldn't sleep with someone I had only known a couple of days? There had been that stupid one night stand… why shouldn't I sleep with him?
He was my husband, for fuck's sake. I could have sex with him if I wanted to.
And I wanted to. Every nerve in my body was on high alert when he came near me. My libido was in overdrive. The desire was oozing out of every pore.
He was trying to tone it down, but I could tell he felt the same way. It was a little harder for him to hide it.
It would be a mistake if he would be at sea for such a long time. The whole thing was temporary, and I knew I would get my heart broken. I already felt empty when I thought of him leaving. The most difficult part was that I wasn't going to have anything to do to keep my mind off of missing him.
I didn't only want him, but I liked him, too. He was considerate.
Nathaniel was not a nerd. He was strong and sexy and sweet and kind. He had a certain aura of danger about him. Being a Captain and a sailor was about the sexiest thing I could imagine. If I had planned a perfect man for myself, I couldn't have done better than Nathaniel.
And yet, I didn't want to get my heart involved too deeply. We were married, but we hadn't promised each other anything. It would be dangerous to fall in love with Nathaniel because our relationship had a timer.
That's why you should have sex with him now, the devil on my shoulder whispered. You have to live for the moment. He could be gone, and you'll never know what you missed.
The devil had a point.
But what if he hurts you? Better to stay far away from that. You have to keep your feet on the ground, Ashlyn.
I glanced at Nathaniel again, and he was doing something with rope — his biceps looking strong and his face too handsome for me. The wind was blowing his dark brown hair. He noticed me watching him and gave me a grin.
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I thought.
That's all fine until you get your heart broken, the angel said. Just don't come crying to me.
Nathaniel was going to be a mess of trouble. I wasn't sure I could stop myself from falling for him even if I wanted to.
________________________________________
Nathaniel pulled into a small harbor and moored the boat.
"Let's grab some lunch."
Twenty minutes later, we were sitting in a restaurant called Home Sweet Home. I opened the menu, and my mouth dropped open.
He clapped his hands together.
"You hungry?" he said.
"These dishes are from Earth. They're normal food."
"Well," he tilted his head from side to side. "I beg to differ on the normal food comment, but they are definitely from Earth. Metsi has the largest population of Terran ex-pats. One of them decided he could make money in nostalgia and homesickness. And here we are."
"Thank you so much, Nathaniel. It's sweet of you," I said, and he blushed. "Not that Vandwan food isn't lovely. It is pretty good. But there's nothing like the taste of home."
I ordered a Caesar salad, a club sandwich with fries and gravy, apple pie with vanilla ice cream, and a milkshake. After questioning me about various dishes with a grossed out look on his face, he decided on the Caesar salad, too, with garlic toast. He had never tried bread before.
I stared out at the harbor while we waited for our food. A woman on a sailboat caught my eye. She lifted her arms over her head, clasped her hands, and dove into the clear water. I watched for a long moment, waiting for her to come up.
She didn't.
I brought it up when my worry became overwhelming. "Nathaniel," I said. "Did you see that woman in the blue swimsuit dive into the water?"
"Mm, hm," he said, not looking up from where he was perusing the dessert menu with a puzzled look on his face.
"She hasn't broken the surface. What if she's in trouble?"
"In trouble?" he looked up at me, confused.
"You know. Drowning?"
He gazed at me in disbelief.
"I doubt she's drowning," he said, staring at me. Then understanding came into his eyes. "Winds and sea, Ashlyn. We can swim for much longer than you can."
"Oh, right," I said, feeling relieved.
I supposed that Vandwans could hold their breath for a long time, like pearl divers back on Earth. Just as I was about to ask Nathaniel more about it, the server came back with our drinks. I was so eager to try my strawberry milkshake that asking about the woman went completely out of my head.
"Are you missing home?" he asked. His tone was so considerate that tears came to my eyes, surprising me.
"Yeah," I said. "I guess I am. I forget because everything's so new, and we've been on adventures that take my mind off of it. But at night, when I'm alone, it's hard."
"Maybe you shouldn't be alone at night," he said. I looked up quickly, wondering if that was sexual innuendo. Nope. He seemed concerned about me. "I'm your husband, Ashlyn. I'd like to help."
"You mean sleep in the same bed?"
"Just sleep," he said. "So you wouldn't have to be alone. Isn't that why people get married? So they don't have to sleep alone anymore?"
He was serious.
"I think people get married for a lot of reasons, and that's probably one of them. But are you sure we could just sleep?"
He held his hands up.
"I can restrain myself if you can."
Liar.
When it came to Nathaniel, I wasn't sure if I could hold back anymore. I felt my resolve weakening every time he did something thoughtful. Every time he looked at me with those startling eyes of his. Every time he touched me.
The server came and set our dishes in front of us.
"Of course you can..." I said once she was gone. Dropping my eyes to my plate, I went on. "But can I?"
NATHANIEL
I had been on edge ever since Ashlyn had dropped the bomb on me at dinner. Was she saying that she thought she wouldn't be able to control herself if I was sleeping in the bed next to her? Did she want me that much?
I had thought that maybe she liked me. Her attraction to me was plain enough when we kissed. To have both the liking and the physical attraction in large enough doses to want to have sex with me was a revelation.
Still, I wondered if it would be a mistake. If I buried myself into her sweet body one time, I wasn't sure if I would be able to forget about her and go on my way. I had a feeling I would need to do it again and again and I might never get enough.
She was already under my skin and I was pretty sure that sleeping with her might make the longing I felt worse.
But I did want to sleep with her tonight without the requirement of physical relations. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to help her forget her sadness.
I wanted to be there for her.
My feelings surprised me. I had never had a long term girlfriend. You know sailors — a girl in every port. Stereotypes exist for a reason. I slept around and even had a girlfriend for a few weeks or months at a time. Miralee had been the last.
It had never been anything serious, and none of them had made me feel the way Ashlyn did. Right now, I felt like I needed her as much as I needed oxygen.
We stood in the hallway next to her bedroom door. I was standing too close to her, but I couldn't help it. I bent and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips.
"Goodnight, Ash," I said, softly tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear.
"You never called me that before."
"What? Ash?"
&
nbsp; She nodded.
"I like it," she said. "That's what people close to me call me."
"Am I close to you?"
Her breathing was coming a little faster. I could tell because her breasts were rising and falling in a most distracting manner.
"My friends call me that, too."
"I'm not your friend, Ash."
"You're not? I thought we were friends."
"I'm your husband."
"What do you want right now, husband?" she said, searching my eyes.
"I want to take you to bed."
And I did, but not in the way that both of us had hoped I would.
We did make out for a while, but then we stopped. Again. I was getting backed up by this point. Both of us knew that if we went that far, there was no coming back.
We reluctantly put on our pajamas, brushed our teeth, and crawled under the covers.
She kissed me one more time and then faced away from me. I pressed my body up against hers. I couldn't help the erection. Maybe it would go down someday, but not when I was lying next to my sexy wife.
I wondered if I would get even one minute of sleep, but none of that mattered when she spoke into the darkness.
"Thanks so much for this, Nathaniel. Tonight I might get some sleep," she said, yawning. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her a little closer.
"You rest, Ash. I'll be here."
Chapter Thirteen
NATHANIEL
I stood on the deck of the Dream. The sun was rising, and the gray sky was turning a delicate pink color. We had made another raid and stashed the supplies safely below deck. We were ready to make the drop-off.
Ashlyn was sleeping in the Captain's quarters below. I wasn't sure what I had thought when I allowed her to come with us, but I was glad that she was here.
The wind kept our speed steady, and I knew that we would be clear of the restricted zone in about an hour.
As I kept watch, a ship appeared on the horizon, exactly like before when they caught us. Not again! They gave chase, and I yelled orders to increase our speed. We unfurled additional sails. The Dream leapt ahead of the other ship for a moment, but then it continued gaining on us. No matter what we did, it got closer and closer.
They fired a shot across our bow. There was no way I would let them put a hole in the Dream, so we came to rest, and they boarded. It was Inspector Callaghan, of course.
"You're under arrest, Lachlan," he said. "And I'm going to have to take Mrs. Lachlan into custody, too."
"What?" I said, frowning. "Why?"
"Standard procedure," he said.
It was not standard procedure.
Two other police officers came up from the hold, dragging Ashlyn with them. She was still in her pajamas. They began to hustle her towards the rail.
"Nathaniel?" she asked, looking confused.
"You can't take her," I said, and I ran over. Immediately there were three other police officers restraining me.
"She didn't do anything," I said. I tried to sound reasonable and not like a madman, but I could feel myself getting hysterical. They couldn't take her.
"We're holding her for questioning. You, Mr. Lachlan, are going to jail."
They began putting cuffs on me.
"Nathaniel," Ashlyn said again. "I'll be all right. Don't worry."
She was too trusting. The men who were taking her were probably as corrupt as the ship runners. How could I not worry?
I dropped my head a little, feeling beaten. I felt the cuffs closing around my wrists.
"That's right," the Inspector said with satisfaction. He leaned in and whispered to me. "You're going to tell us everything, Lachlan, or I can't answer for what might happen to the girl."
"What?" I said, whipping my head up. "What did you say?"
"I said, you better behave and sing like the pretty canary you are, or else the girl gets hurt."
"No," I said, lunging at him.
A police officer took her arm and helped her on board the other ship.
"You can't take her!" I shouted. "She hasn't done anything wrong!"
The Inspector laughed.
I couldn't believe this was happening. I struggled to get away, but the men held me fast. "Ashlyn!"
The law-enforcement officers ignored me. Ashlyn turned and gave me one last look before she ducked her head and went down below into the other ship's hold, disappearing from my sight.
"No!" I howled. I couldn't lose her. "Ashlyn!"
The officer that was holding me started shaking me by the shoulders.
"Let me go," I said, trying to twist away from him.
"Nathaniel. Nathaniel! Wake up!"
It was Ashlyn's voice. But I had seen her being led away…
I opened my eyes and looked into Ashlyn's worried face. The room was dark, but the light from two of the moons was coming in the window, illuminating the bed. When I glanced out the west window where the sun comes up, I could see that the sky was beginning to lighten.
It must be about five o'clock in the morning.
I sat up and putting a hand on my head. I was breathing hard, and the feeling of loss was still so strong I had tears in my eyes. I wiped them away quickly, hoping she hadn't noticed.
"Nathaniel?" she said, already sitting up. "Are you all right? It sounded like a really bad dream."
"It was awful," I said, staring at her. I couldn't believe that she was here in front of me, and they hadn't taken her. It had felt real. "Just horrible."
"When I was little, and I had a bad dream, my mother would come into my room, and she would sit on the bed with me and she would hold me."
I didn't say anything, trying to let go of the terrible feeling of loss. I let out a shaky breath.
"Can I hold you?" she said, so quietly I almost didn't catch it. I hesitated only a moment before I nodded. She scooted back so that she was sitting against the headboard of the bed and opened her arms.
I went to her, needing to know that she was here, that she was safe, that no one was going to hurt her.
She wrapped her arms around me, and she held me close. I rested my head on her soft breasts. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt peace flowing into me like I hadn't known in a very long time. All of the fear and sadness left me, and I felt calm. She was stroking my hair softly.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" she said. "Sometimes it helps."
Did I want to tell her about it? Hell no. But she was right. I knew that it would help. How could I tell her without giving everything away?
I felt a pang of guilt. Soon I needed to tell her about what I did at sea. It wasn't right to keep her in the dark. I couldn't have her finding out from someone else. At the same time, I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship. I felt something growing between us. If I told her, she might go away, and I didn't want that happen.
I knew now that I was falling for her, and it was too late to stop.
"I dreamed I was a pirate," I said. The compromise seemed reasonable in my mind.
"A pirate?" she said.
"Not like 'Arg, matey.' Like a real pirate that runs down other ships and steals their cargo."
"Oh," she sounded taken aback.
"This world is 86% water." I reminded her.
"Right. Bad guys in boats. I got it. But wait, you were the pirate?"
I paused a moment before I answered.
"We had run down a ship and pirated its cargo. We were leaving when suddenly I saw a ship on the horizon."
"Uh oh."
"Right. It was the sea police."
"A police ship."
"Yes. The Dream is fast. No one has ever beaten her in a race. But no matter how many sails we put on or what we did, that damned slow police boat kept catching up to us."
She nodded. She was slowly running her fingertips up and down over my skin, now. It was soothing, but it was also starting to become arousing. I tried to concentrate on my story.
"They boarded us and put me under arrest for piracy. T
hey wanted to take you in for questioning."
"Oh."
"I tried to stop them. I told them that you hadn't done anything wrong. Was I talking in my sleep?" I said, feeling embarrassed.
"You were. That's what woke me. You were… you were saying my name."
I twisted around to face her.
"You sounded upset," she said, her hand coming up to touch my cheek.
"I was," I said again, swallowing.
We stared at each other. I surged upwards to capture her lips. Her hands were on the sides of my face, pulling me to her. I kissed her, desperately. She made a moaning sound that lit my fire and pressed herself against me.
Our tongues tangled and I felt myself getting hard. I needed her so badly. We kissed, and I had to touch her. I ran my hands up her arms and then down her torso, brushing the sides of her breasts and making her moan again. Touching her through clothing was insufficient. I needed to feel her skin against mine.
I slid my hand up under her pajama shirt. She was smooth. I ran my palm along her flat belly and then slid it higher and higher. And finally I had one soft breast in my hand, feeling its weight.
"You are perfect, Ash," I whispered, squeezing. Her hips bucked against me.
"Nathaniel," she said, panting a little. "Are you sure we should do this?"
Fuck yes, I was sure. But then my rational mind took over, and I groaned.
"You're leaving tomorrow. Won't it make it harder?" she said.
"Nothing could make it harder," I said.
"I want to, Nathaniel."
"I know," I said. "Me too. But you're right. I'm not sure we're thinking straight right now."
"And it would make it more difficult for you to go, I'm sure, if you remembered." We were still lying pressed close to each other, and I felt my cock jump when she said that. By the look of desire on her face, she had felt it too.
I would have enough trouble with the memory of how her breast felt in my hand and the taste of her kisses. If I knew what it was like to take her, it would be near next to impossible to leave her. I would have to keep her in bed for days.
"I'm going to get up now," I said. "Because if I don't…"
I trailed off, kissing her again.
But she pulled away.
"Nathaniel," she said, in a voice that was full of regret. But she gave me a smile that was so full of promise that I couldn't stand it.