It was simply too much. How she’d lived through it without doing something fatal was beyond her wildest imaginings. Shawn Foote. He’d laughed at her jokes, and most people didn’t because her humor was, well, different, but he’d gotten her jokes, and it turned out his humor was also odd, and even though they were different odds, they still kind of matched, which was…Better than anything.
They’d talked about his work, and how he wasn’t crazy about being a model, but they paid him so much money that he couldn’t turn it down, but now that he’d invested a good portion of it, he was going back to school to study animal husbandry because what he really wanted was to have a big ranch in Montana with lots of horses and great fishing. And he wanted to have a whole bunch of cabins on his property so he could invite all his writer and artist friends to come and visit and stay as long as they wanted, which was the most wonderful thing she’d ever heard.
He’d asked all about her, too, and she’d told him about college and how cool it was to work with Jessica, and that she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to stay in marketing, but she felt as if she had time to figure it out.
While she stood talking with him, a billion movie stars came to talk, and Shawn introduced her to each one as if she were the celebrity, which kind of made her nervous, but then it didn’t because he was so relaxed about the whole thing. She’d met Drew Barrymore, Josh Hartnett, Hugh Grant, Gwyneth Paltrow and so many more, they blurred in her mind. All of them were so good-looking it made her feel lumpish, except Shawn was by far the best-looking guy there. She could tell that people were wondering what he was doing sticking by her all night, but she didn’t care. Nothing could have been better than her night, not one thing.
Except perhaps the last few minutes, when Shawn had held her hand and had smiled that incredible smile that gave him dimples to die for, and this one lock of hair had been over his eye, and he’d said he had a really good time and he was glad the job wasn’t over.
With the memory shimmering in her mind, she turned over, punched her pillow and started all over again from the beginning.
DATING TIPS FOR MEN
There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date…
1. I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this two-for-one coupon before it expired.
2. I used to come here all the time with my ex.
3. Would you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
4. I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look.
Source: Thompson, Dave “Things Not to Say on Your Valentine’s Date”
http://www.ijmc.com/
8
JESSICA WOKE to the annoyance of the alarm after what felt like ten minutes of sleep. She’d had a dreadful night, filled with sexual dreams, all of them starring Dan Crawford. Today was going to be relatively calm, and she felt sure he was going to start questioning her in earnest, which made her downright nervous. She was already too intimate with him, and answering him truthfully was going to be tricky. Maybe he wouldn’t ask her anything that would betray her feelings toward him. Although, aside from wanting to sleep with him, she wasn’t sure at all what those feelings were.
It shouldn’t matter. She’d set her course and nothing was going to make her stray, not even a man as fascinating as Dan.
As she gathered her clothes, she thought about Carrie Elward, her roommate in college. Carrie had been a brilliant girl, top of her class. At graduation she’d already accepted a top-paying position at IBM, having had to choose among a host of equally enticing offers. That first year, she’d distinguished herself, saving the company several million dollars with a new program she’d developed, and her future seemed paved with gold. Then she’d met Alex, a stunning charmer from Canada who ran a small but successful dotcom. Within six months, Carrie had lost her luster, and at the end of the year she’d quit IBM to help Alex run his company. The bottom had fallen out shortly thereafter, and Carrie had been reduced to taking a position at American Standard for half the pay.
It was a lesson Jessica took to heart. Not that it was fair. Men didn’t seem to have the same difficulty mixing love and career. But no one had said life was fair. If she wanted to have the kind of security and power she dreamt of, there was no way she could get herself involved in a serious relationship. Later. All that was going to come, just not for a few years. Once she had a vice presidency, she’d be open to more, but until then, she’d be a fool to let her emotions ruin her future.
Maybe, if she was lucky, Dan would still be available, although that was a long shot. She was amazed he wasn’t already married. But, he’d said he hadn’t had much luck with women. She couldn’t see it, unless he was sabotaging himself in some way. That was an all-too-common problem, easy to see in others, invisible to the one most affected.
It did feel weird helping a man she found so attractive gain the skills necessary to find another woman. But she’d promised, and she was a woman of her word.
She had all her things together and she left the safety of her bedroom to head for the shower. Her gaze went immediately to the table by the wet bar. Dan was dressed handsomely in a gray oxford shirt with casual jeans. Her blush spoke as much for her troubled sleep as it did for her immediate and powerful reaction to seeing him. The man was a walking pheromone.
“I hope you like it,” he said.
She followed his gaze to the table, spread out with a large and abundant breakfast array. The plates were domed, so she couldn’t tell what he’d ordered, but she could see orange juice, coffee, toast and a syrup container. “What’s all this?”
“I figured we’d get a quiet meal in before we had to do the photo-shoot thing.”
She headed toward the table, touched at his thoughtfulness. “It looks great.”
“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got some of everything.”
She uncovered a plate of scrambled eggs, then another of pancakes. The scent reminded her of her hunger and she set her clothes on one of the chairs and sat in another. “This is very kind.”
“No sweat.” He sat opposite her and started to prepare his plate. Eggs Benedict, crisp bacon, hash browns. She took the scrambled eggs, sausage and the other half of the potatoes. For a while, they ate in silence, drank juice, prepared coffee. Then she noticed his silence, not of word but of gesture, and caught him looking at her with an expression she couldn’t quite name. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said, attacking his food again.
“Come on, I know you want to ask questions. It’s okay. Ask.”
He finished chewing, then stared at his fork for a minute. When he looked up, she found her tummy was tight.
“Why don’t you want a relationship?”
She relaxed. This was an easy one. For the next few minutes she laid out the argument just as it had come to her such a short time ago. He didn’t interrupt, just listened attentively, taking the occasional bite or sip. When she’d finished, she drank some coffee, debating the wisdom of having some pancakes.
“I know women with strong, successful careers who are married.”
She knew it couldn’t be that simple. “I’m sure there are, although I don’t know any. The myth is that women can have it all. It’s not true. Something has to give. I don’t want to have to choose between my career and a man.”
“I don’t blame you. That would be tough. But I don’t believe the choice would be difficult between a career and love. I think you can have both. In fact, I think that with someone there in your corner, someone who cares about you and what you do, the career would change into something much more meaningful. And, at the end of the day, you wouldn’t be alone for your victories. Or your defeats.”
“Being alone doesn’t bother me. And, I might add, for a man your age, you certainly have an idealist view of relationships.”
“Believe me, I’ve thou
ght a lot about that. You’re right. I am being idealistic. But I lived my whole life with two people who loved and respected each other. Watching them together made it impossible for me to settle for anything less.”
She put down her cup. “I’m sorry for you.”
His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Why?”
“Because what you saw with your parents is the exception to the rule. I don’t know a single couple like that.”
“I not only saw it with my parents, but several of their friends.”
“You were lucky.”
“So you think I should just give up? Settle for someone mediocre?”
“No. I don’t think you should settle. Maybe adjust your expectations.”
“To what? What are your expectations?”
“I’m not sure how to answer. I haven’t thought about it that much.”
“Seriously?”
“No. I’ve been pretty focused on what I’ve been doing.”
“But surely you’ve thought about getting married. Having a family.”
“Only in the vaguest terms.”
“What was your family like?”
“Nothing like yours, that’s for sure.”
“Tell me.”
She glanced at her watch. “I still have to shower and dress.”
“We won’t be late.”
She supposed she owed him this, although it wasn’t her idea of a good time. “My parents married young, after my mother got pregnant in high school. She ended up with her diploma, but only by the skin of her teeth. My father did two years of college, but never had the life he’d hoped for. He wanted to be a chemist, but he ended up settling for a job as a salesman for a pharmaceutical company. My mother had two more children, both girls, and then she and my dad divorced. My mother worked for years as a legal secretary, which she hated. Most of the people I grew up with came from similar backgrounds. No grand passionate love affairs that lasted past the seven-year itch.”
“Wow. It makes sense that you’ve focused on your career.”
“Yes, I suppose it does. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy.”
“Are you?”
“Yes. I take a great deal of pride in my accomplishments. I’ve already got a nice portfolio started, and by the time I’m through, I expect to be very comfortable.”
He leaned forward in his chair, which made her aware of her own body; leaning back, crossed arms, crossed legs. She made an effort to loosen up, but the best she could do was hold on to her cup of coffee.
“All on your own, right?” he asked.
“Exactly. I learned very early on that there isn’t a knight in shining armor out there waiting to rescue me. If I want security, I’ll have to earn it myself.”
“That’s wise.”
“You agree?”
He spread his hands. “With the knight theory? Yeah, I do. I don’t think it’s good for anyone to wait to be rescued. It puts too much pressure on the rescuer. It can only lead to disappointment.”
“But isn’t that what you’re hoping to do?”
“No, not at all. I expect the right woman for me will have found what makes her whole and happy. I want to share in that, just as I hope she’ll share in my life.”
“Don’t you read? The statistics alone tell you that you’re dreaming.”
He frowned. “God, I hope not.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to rain on your whatever. My experience has clearly been different than yours. You’ll probably find just what you’re looking for.”
“I’m going to try,” he said.
“Your parents, what do they think of this research project of yours?”
“My father died two years ago, but my mother thinks I’m nuts.”
She smiled. “That’s got to be hard about your dad. It sounds like you two were close.”
“Oh, yeah. I’m sure he would have shared my mother’s sentiments, but he would never have discouraged me. Mom, either. They believe in life by trial and error.”
“So far, you seem to have done well.”
He smiled. “No complaints. I’m about as happy as a man has a right to be.”
“The statistics on that are pretty daunting, too.”
He got a piece of bacon from his plate, ate it slowly. “I wonder why that is,” he said. “So much angst. It never made sense to me.”
“Speaking of angst, I’d better get my act in gear. We have to be at the shoot in less than an hour.”
“Don’t want any more breakfast?”
“Yes, but I’d better not. It was great. Thank you.”
He smiled before he sipped some coffee. She gathered her things and headed for the shower, wondering if she had left because of the time or the conversation.
As soon as she was naked, her thoughts went to last night. The strength of her want of him. Breakfast had been terrific, but not filled with that same lust, although she still found him completely yummy. This was different. She’d never experienced this kind of balance before. Her past flings, and she knew that’s all they were, had been like Roman candles. Brilliant flame, but short-lived. She’d felt that same intensity last night, but now the fire was banked, smoldering, while her focus had been on the conversation.
She climbed in the shower and began her regimen, all the while chewing on the situation.
DAN FOUND HIMSELF a director’s chair and settled in for a long day. They had set up camp in a relatively quiet section of Grand Central Station, cordoned off from the public. The photographer was some big shot with a bunch of major campaigns under his belt, and the models were in the super category, including Sheree O’Brien and Shawn Foote.
It was interesting watching Marla around Shawn. She was clearly smitten, and he seemed interested right back. Surprisingly, Dan was worried for her. Even though he was staunchly in favor of tasting all that life had to offer, he liked Marla and didn’t want to see her get hurt. Although he wasn’t acquainted with Shawn, he had known some male models and actors, and those hadn’t exactly been the brightest or the kindest people he’d ever met. Mostly, they’d been so obsessed with themselves, there was no room for anyone else in their lives. But, he’d give Shawn the benefit of the doubt. For now.
His gaze shifted to Jessica as she spoke with the photographer. Owen hovered, but so far he hadn’t been a real pest. Jessica was in her glory, planning, arranging, making things happen. He liked watching her work. She wore her confidence like a comfortable sweater, and it made her even more beautiful. Today she had on pants, khaki colored, with a cream top and a matching jacket. The outfit would have looked plain on another woman, but it made her hair a more vivid auburn, and it complemented her skin.
He kept wanting to touch her. On the way down to the taxi he’d put his hand on the small of her back. She’d reacted with a little twitch, which was interesting, but her blush was more telling.
There was definitely something between them, the attraction wasn’t one-sided. He saw a lot of the signs, the fidgeting with the hair, the sideways glances, those telltale blushes. Tonight, if they finished the shoot at a reasonable hour, they would have the evening free. He was going to take her to dinner, and he felt certain that he could steer the conversation into one of two directions. He could keep it intellectual, or he could just as easily swing it to the hot and heavy. Given free rein with the questions made either option viable. Of course, what he should do is stick to the plan. But the plan hadn’t taken into account how much he wanted her.
“Do you mind?”
He looked up at the voice, startled. Standing close to his left was Sheree herself. She was dressed in a large, white, man’s shirt with bicycle shorts peeking from the bottom. Her shoes were slip-ons, the better to change into whatever wardrobe they had planned for her.
Her hair was up in very large curlers, which didn’t distract in the least from her astonishing good looks. Naturally, her makeup was heavy, but still, he could see the perfection of her face, the pure symmetry that was so prized. Her smile,
however, suggested that her want of a seat wasn’t just about available chairs. There was an invitation there, or at the very least a question.
He stood and held the back of the second director’s chair. “Please, sit.”
She did, and her smile broadened. “I’m Sheree.”
“Dan Crawford.”
“I saw you last night,” she said. “But I didn’t have a minute to come over and introduce myself.”
“I’m sorry for that, but pleased you have some time today.”
“God, I’ll have gobs of time. I have four changes, and no one can decide where to start. It’s always like this. They should just shut up and let the chick call the shots.”
“You mean Jessica?”
“Yeah. At least she’s got a plan. But everyone wants to be the boss.”
“I suppose so.”
“What’s your role in all this?”
He nodded at Jessica, who had turned to watch him and his new friend. “I’m with the chick.”
“Oh.” Sheree studied Jessica for a long moment. “You two serious?”
“Yeah, pretty serious.”
She turned back to him. “You fool around?”
He laughed. “Thank you, but no. I don’t.”
She shook her head, then lifted her hand to examine her nails. “Bummer.”
He laughed again, but his attention was on Jessica. She wasn’t looking happy. Just then, Owen came up behind her, and even from Dan’s seat he could see the hand inching around her waist.
Jessica stepped back as Dan rose. He headed straight for the pair, making sure his smile wasn’t forced. All he had to do was mark his territory, get Owen to back off. He was a little surprised at how his animosity toward this prick had grown. He didn’t want him touching Jessica.
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