by Nina Blake
She laughed. ‘So do I!’
He must have touched a nerve, but a funny one, because her face lit up in a way that he’d not seen yet, her cheek bones rising, her mouth broad. Her eyes sparkled in the sunlight but he thought they also reflected an inner happiness, albeit fleeting.
Her reaction was wonderful, and being a tourist wasn’t so bad. It was a hell of a lot more fun than his stay in hospital.
The problem was this whole thing felt so surreal that he feared he might still be in that coma. And if it was a dream, he’d wake up and find he was the man Claire had been telling him about, this high-powered lawyer who supposedly had everything going for him.
That man had walked out on Claire, and Stefan couldn’t work out why.
Because this man liked her.
More than he cared to admit.
Chapter Six
Stefan had hit the nail on the head. That was exactly what Claire had felt like, a tourist in her own hometown. And it had been fun. This was a chance to see the city she lived in through new eyes, to enjoy things afresh.
And to enjoy Stefan’s company.
She’d played the part of tour guide before, had shown visitors from inter-state around the city. Many years ago, she and Stefan had shown his parents the sights when they’d come over for the wedding. They’d loved Sydney. It had been Claire they hadn’t been enamoured with.
Ahead of them, white plastic seats had been laid on the grass in rows, presumably for one of the weddings. The chairs, currently empty, made the park seem like a ghost town. A long table, with a white tablecloth that flapped gently in the breeze, was at the far end.
They walked closer and sat on two chairs near the edge, looking out across the grass to the harbour. The silence between them as they ate was comfortable.
When they’d broken up six months back, Claire would never have imagined they’d have another moment like this together: calm, fun, comfortable. They’d had hundreds or perhaps thousands of wonderfully ordinary times but she felt she’d never appreciated them the way she should have. Merely loving him hadn’t quite covered it.
She’d been too carried away with work and family and their social life to take pleasure in the little things. They both had, with Stefan gradually becoming consumed by his career.
They finished eating and Stefan leaned forward, resting his arms on his thighs. ‘What was our wedding like?’
Claire should’ve seen the question coming, but that was okay. She could give him an honest answer.
‘It was small,’ she said. ‘Neither of us wanted a big wedding. Your mother thought it should have been the social event of the year, but we wanted something more personal than that. I don’t have much family, just Mum and Sophie, and your family came over from the States. Other than that, it was just close friends. The wedding was just one day out of all the days we had together. I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on it.’
‘But that Japanese couple…the way they looked at each other. We were like that too, weren’t we?’
‘Yes.’
Stefan nodded, taking it all in. She saw determination in his intense pale eyes. He would try his utmost to make the most of a bad situation.
‘It must have been a wonderful day,’ he said.
‘It was. ‘
‘I might phone them,’ he said.
‘Who?’
’My parents.’
She nodded, but knew how the conversation would pan out. They’d get here in their own good time, and nothing Stefan could say would change their plans.
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You don’t approve?’
‘It’s not that. Actually, I think you should call them.’
‘Then what?’
‘They were never particularly fond of me.’ An understatement if she’d ever made one.
‘Then they’re not very good judges of character.’
Still leaning forward, Stefan turned to face her, his knee nudging her leg. That touch sent a sizzle up her spine, and made the downy hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She savoured the moment, small though it was, intentional or not. He hadn’t moved his leg away, had just left it there. Touching her. Reminding her of the way it used to be between them.
In many ways, their life together had been spectacular. The sex had been amazing; they’d holiday together, skiing down snow-covered slopes and hiking up rugged mountains. But it wasn’t those moments she ached for.
It was the little things, the everyday that she missed the most—the brush of a hand, a quick kiss goodbye, a loving word in her ear. With the gentle press of his leg against hers, he’d given her a small bit of that back again, a reminder of times past.
An unusual feeling washed over her. She began to feel a peculiar mixture of pleasure and regret, that she’d do anything to have him hold her in his arms one last time. To feel protected, to feel loved.
Anything.
Was it possible to have some of that back again, just a taste to tide her over, a little something to dull the pain?
‘What’s next on the itinerary?’ Stefan asked, his eyes on hers
She nodded across the harbour. ‘We should walk across Circular Quay and see the Sydney Opera House close up. Like any good tourist.’
‘Oh, I’m a very good tourist. I’m really enjoying this.’
She smiled. ‘So am I.’
He took to his feet. ‘Then what are we waiting for?’
‘Good question.’
As Claire stood, he pressed his hand to the small of her back, ushering her ahead of him. She’d remember this too—the warmth of his touch, the way it made her feel small and protected. Every moment was special and she should appreciate each one individually.
Maybe this was a second chance? Not for love, not for a life together, but just for some time together so she could remember and savour, then leave it at that.
She would have to remind herself that this wasn’t the whole Stefan—wasn’t the same man he’d been— but at least he was by her side. He was here. It was more than she could have dreamed of.
This time around she’d enjoy every, single moment.
After all, how many people get a second chance?
‘I’m surprised I caught you,’ Claire said, as Jane Peterson answered the phone. As a branch manager at work, technically Jane was her boss’s boss. ‘It’s six o’clock.’
‘I’ll be heading off soon,’ Jane said. ‘I left a message for you earlier.’
’I know,’ Claire said. ‘Sorry, but I couldn’t call earlier.’
Claire’s phone had actually rung hours ago, but she’d been having such a wonderful afternoon with Stefan that she’d forgotten to check her messages or return the call until she’d arrived home. That was unlike her; normally, she was a paragon of efficiency.
‘How are things going at home?’ Jane asked.
‘With Stefan, you mean?’
‘Yes.’
Jane had met Stefan many times, but probably knew more about him thanks to what Claire had said in passing than through firsthand experience. When they’d broken up, Jane had been surprised, but then so had all their friends. Jane had never asked too many questions, only been supportive.
Though she’d never said so, Claire got the feeling Jane thought their break-up must have been due to some fault of Stefan’s. She seemed to think too highly of Claire to believe she was partly responsible.
Flattering, but that was typical Jane. She had a high opinion of her staff and trusted them one hundred percent.
‘It’s a tricky situation,’ Claire said, ‘but I don’t need to tell you that. He’d be completely lost without me. He’s got no one else to turn to.’
‘I won’t go on about it, but you’ve got to take care of yourself first.’
‘I’m doing okay. Honestly.’
‘Well, then, we can get down to business. We’ve had some bad news at work. There’s no nice way of saying this—Andrew had a heart attack over the weekend.’
Her mouth fell o
pen. Andrew Kailis was Claire’s line manager. ‘What! Is he okay? Is he in hospital?’
‘Yes, to both questions. He was at home when the attack happened and Lisa, his wife, took him directly to hospital. Apparently, it was quite mild and he’ll eventually make a full recovery. I spoke to him today, and he’s in good spirits.’
‘Which hospital is he staying at?’
Jane told her, and Claire made a mental note to send flowers.
‘That’s not the main reason I called,’ Jane said. ‘Andrew will be away from work for some time and we need to fill his position during that time. Look, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate with Stefan’s illness and looking after him. Under the circumstances, I questioned whether to contact you at all, but you were my first choice for the acting position and that still stands.’
Claire couldn’t believe her ears. There were others who’d been working at the branch longer than she, and with more experience, but Jane clearly thought Claire would be the best person for the job.
‘I’d love to do it,’ she said.
‘There’s a catch. You’d have to start as soon as possible. If not tomorrow, then the day after.’
Her heart sank. ‘Oh.’
She paused for a long moment. Claire wanted the job—there was no question—but she couldn’t imagine leaving Stefan, not now, not when he needed her. She’d said she’d look after him for two weeks, and she had to stick to by that promise.
‘I know what you’re going to say,’ Jane said, ‘but would you at least sleep on it.’
‘I could think about it and waste some more of your time, but that wouldn’t change my decision.’
’You’re going to turn the position down?’
‘It means a lot to me that you thought of me first, and I’m flattered you think so highly of my work, but, yes. I have to say no.’
‘It’s you I think highly of, not just your work, but that’s okay. It’s a shame, for you, I mean. In the government, opportunities like this don’t come up very often.’
They exchanged a few niceties and Claire promised she’d see Jane later in the week, as she had planned to pop in to finish a few things off at work.
Jane’s words rang in Claire’s ears. Opportunities like this don’t come up very often.
This wasn’t an opportunity. No, the situation was beyond that, and was something ethereal, more elusive than a dream—this was the chance she thought she’d never have.
Not the manager’s position.
This was something much more valuable.
Claire was sitting up in bed and pretending to read when the phone rang. She knew who it was before she picked up the receiver.
‘Can you talk now?’ her sister asked.
That was typical Sophie—straight to the point, no polite enquiries about Claire’s health, nothing. ‘I’m on my own now,’ Claire said. ‘I’m not cooking. I’m not doing anything. How are you, Soph? I didn’t get the chance to ask earlier.’
‘I didn’t call to talk about me.’
‘No, but you’re eight months pregnant. It’d be a bit rude if I didn’t ask.’
Sophie had spent two years trying to conceive, though she’d only told Claire that after she fell pregnant. It had been heartbreaking when she had finally told Claire what she’d been through: endless doctor’s appointments, interviews and tests for the IVF program, not to mention the emotional turmoil. Then as soon as they’d decided to quit IVF, she’d fallen pregnant naturally, surprisingly enough.
Claire was happy for her; thrilled, in fact. She’d felt an enormous pang of personal regret when Sophie had first told her but that had worn off quickly.
Sounding exasperated, Sophie sighed. ‘I’m fine. I’ll tell you all about it next time but now I want to know about what’s happening with you and Stefan.’
‘I’m still helping him get settled, but as yet he hasn’t remembered a thing, and I mean nothing at all.’
‘It was a mistake taking him back,’ Sophie said. ‘It’s not too late to back out.’
Claire pressed her eyes shut briefly. ‘Oh, Soph…’
‘I’ve been trying not to harp on about it but someone has to tell you. Mum won’t, so it’s got to be me.’
Before Claire had gone to the hospital to collect Stefan, Sophie had told her exactly what she thought. Sophie had been blunt then,, and now she had to have one last dig.
Claire couldn’t blame her. She’d have done the same.
‘You’re going to get hurt,’ Sophie said. ‘I know it.’
‘Well, that’s life. Sometimes you have to do things that are hard. I can’t always take the easy path. And Stefan won’t be able to take care of himself alone, not properly yet. I can’t abandon him.’
‘Why not? He did it to you.’
These were things your friends would never say to you, but Sophie was her sister. And she was going to tell it like it was.
Claire could be blunt, too. ‘That was different and you know it. He didn’t kick me out. Didn’t even try. He left because I wouldn’t. It’s not like he turfed me out, leaving me to fend for myself in the wilderness. I’ve got a job, family, friends, and a lovely apartment.’
‘Stefan left you,’ Sophie said.
‘I know.’ Claire knew this better than anyone, and much more fully than her sister. ‘Stefan and I broke up. It happens to lots of people. It’s not like he’s a murderer or child molester. He still deserves my help.’
‘You’re giving him much more than he deserves.’
Claire opened her mouth to argue, but wasn’t sure what else to say. Stefan didn’t deserve the amnesia. She didn’t deserve to lose the love of her life. And no one deserved to go through the situation they were both in.
But that was just the way things were.
‘We’ve been through this before,’ Claire said.
‘Only the once, and that was before you got him back. I thought maybe now you’d seen him, and spent a little time with him, that you’d see what I mean. You deserve better.’
There it was—that word again—but was not how Claire felt. Didn’t even come close.
Stefan’s absence had left a huge hole in her life. He was the only man she’d ever loved, the one she’d vowed to spend the rest of her life with, and suddenly, he was gone.
‘I can see where this is going,’ Sophie said. ‘Even if he doesn’t mean to, he’ll get one over you. He’s sick but he’s still in a position of power and you’ve put him there. You feel this overwhelming desire or duty, or whatever you want to call it to help him. Well, he’s lost his memory but as far as I’m concerned, that’s his problem, not yours. He left you, and it’s time he dealt with the consequences.’
Claire could feel her anger rising, but pulled herself together quickly. ‘You sound more like my mother than my sister.’
‘Mum’s too nice. She won’t tell you what you need to hear. Simple as that. Anyway, I’ll be a mother soon. This is good practice.’
‘You’ll be a wonderful mother, Soph, but you’re not my mother.’
‘You’ll fall in love with him all over again, ‘Sophie said. ‘It wasn’t the money or the profession you fell for the first time. It was him. And it’ll happen again.’
Claire frowned. ‘Soph, I know what I’m doing. I’ve chosen to do one nice thing in my life. That’s what it comes down to—my choices, my decisions, my judgment. None of that stuff is predetermined. It’s up to me.’
It would’ve been madness to fall for Stefan a second time. Claire hadn’t got over him yet, not completely, but that didn’t mean she was going to let herself love him again.
That was the one thing she couldn’t do.
Chapter Seven
‘Pleased to see you, mate.’
The man grinned, his handshake firm and well-practiced, giving Stefan the impression that Brian Christopher had probably shaken a lot of hands in the business world. So had Stefan, as they’d worked together at the same firm.
Brian’s dark hair was thinning
on top, his complexion pale as if he’d spent too much time indoors. His double-breasted suit, made from the finest wool, looked expensive but did nothing to flatter his rotund physique. Stefan guessed he was in his late forties.
The woman accompanying him looked younger, early forties perhaps, and clearly took care of herself. Her makeup was perfect, blond hair immaculately groomed, and her dark suit carefully pressed.
Leaning forward, Veronica Ford air-kissed him. ‘We were wondering when you were coming back.’
The glint in her eye told Stefan that Veronica was extremely pleased to see him, more so than she should have been. Holding his shoulders rigid, he felt the hair on the back of his neck start to prickle.
‘I’m only visiting,’ Stefan explained. ‘Claire brought me along to meet you all, to help get me oriented, and to see if anything jogs my memory.’
‘You used to spend a lot time here,’ Veronica said. ‘You and I worked together closely. We were like family, seeing each other every day, working late.’
Ignoring Claire, Veronica’s eyes seemed riveted firmly to his. She undid a button on her jacket and leaned back against the desk, pushing her chest out. Some women could probably look sexy in a boring black suit, but Veronica wasn’t one of them.
‘You seem to have done okay without me,’ he said. ‘I was missing for over a week and no one noticed I was gone.’
Despite living alone, it bothered him that he’d been in hospital a full seven days and apparently no one had noticed he was missing.
‘You were on annual leave,’ Veronica protested. ‘We all thought you were in New Zealand. Sally, your PA, said you’d given strict instructions not to be contacted unless it was a matter of life and death. You wanted complete R and R.’
He’d heard their version of events before but wasn’t convinced.
‘That doesn’t sound like me. Previously, I seemed to be a workaholic.’
‘You are,’ Brian said. ‘Actually, I tried to talk you out of taking that holiday but you wouldn’t budge. You were working on the MRC Insurance deal, a big case, and I thought you should’ve given that priority.’
Brian’s expression was serious, like there was nothing more important in the world than this job. Stefan wondered if that explanation supposed to mean something to him, if he was supposed to care.