by Nina Blake
Stefan didn’t look impressed. ‘That’s fair enough. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I feel weary of being alone and a bit anxious. There’s so much I don’t know, and when I think about it, the situation still gets to me. I also don’t fancy moving back into that other place. It was so,…sterile.’
Simply put, he wasn’t playing the sympathy card, but Claire didn’t care. If this was difficult for Stefan, it was hard for her too.
‘It’s not like the other apartment is in the middle of a slum,’ she said. ‘This is Elizabeth Bay we’re talking about. Lots of people would give their eye teeth to be able to afford to live there.’
‘I’m still not looking forward to it,’ he said. ‘I don’t like what I’m finding out about myself. That apartment was cold and soulless, and that makes me wonder what kind of person used to live there. Then there was Turner Chisholm and those people I worked with. What does it say about me, that I used to fit so well into that sort of environment?’
Claire couldn’t let him turn the discussion into something else, even if he had lost his memory. She had her own problems to deal with.
‘I’m sorry,’ she explained, ‘but some things aren’t negotiable. If you don’t like your old apartment, I’ll help you find somewhere you like better. It’s not as if money’s a problem.’ She tried to smile. ‘You’ll be okay on your own.’
Stefan shrugged. ‘I know I’ve got to stand on my own feet eventually—it’s not that. It’s just feel at home with you. I like it here.’ He held her gaze. ‘I trust you.’
Claire was taken aback. Eventually, she said, ‘I’ll do my best to take care of you.’
He looked away, his expression intense, and Claire wondered if he’d heard what she said.
‘Despite everything,’ Stefan said, ‘I have this feeling deep in my gut that things will work out. There’s a key to this problem out there somewhere, and I think it’s you, or something to do with you.’
Claire shook her head. ‘You’re wrong. If I could help you, I would, but I can’t do more than I’m doing.’
‘Claire, you were closer to me than anyone else.’
‘We’d also been separated for six months. I don’t know what happened to you over that time, where you went, what you did.’
Or who you were with.
Could it be possible that he’d had feelings for another woman? Could he have nuzzled up to her, put his arms around her, had his hands all over her. Had sex with her.
Stefan with someone else…that mental image was too much to take. That he could have held another woman in his arms and given her the little touches, the attention, the love Claire had always longed for was unbearable. He couldn’t have.
Claire pressed her eyes shut.
‘Six months but out of many years together,’ Stefan said. ‘You still know me better than anyone. There’s got to be some way of getting my memory back and I’m sure you’re the one person who can help me.’
So that was it. Stefan wanted his memory back and she was the key, a means to an end.
An unpleasant feeling washed over Claire, an emotion so unexpected that it took her by surprise. She didn’t want to feel disappointed—that wasn’t part of the plan.
Stefan needed her, simple as that, but some small part of her had hoped she’d mean more than that to him. Claire wanted to be special, wanted to think he might be growing a little fond of her again.
‘Look, I feel something, too,’ she said. ‘I’ve made it my job to help you through this. You have to think of me like a stepping stone, Stefan, to help bring you back to life. And then you’ll move forward on your own.’
His lips curled into a subtle smile. ‘You’re the most beautiful stepping stone I’ve ever seen.’
If only he wouldn’t pay her little compliments like that.
Claire stood and looked down at the remains of the dinner on the rug. ‘Since you cooked, it’s probably my turn to clean up.’
Stefan rose and reached across for her, his fingertips brushing the back of her hand. His gentle touch sent a sensual shiver up her spine. How could he still do that to her?
‘I’ll take care of it.’.
She’d seen that look in his eyes before, that glint of desire when he saw something he wanted and would not be deterred. Perhaps Claire had been wrong, had read too much into his words. Maybe he did feel something for her, after all.
Lowering her eyes, Claire said, ‘Then I’ll get to bed.’
There’d been a flicker of hesitation—she knew he’d seen it, had known she’d given herself away. And as Stefan stepped closer, slid his hand under her chin and tilted her head upwards, Claire knew she was done for.
Stefan cupped her chin in his hands, deliberately, slowly. He held her gaze as he leaned closer, eyes narrowing, lips parting.
Claire could feel the fullness of his mouth as his lips pressed to hers. Soft and warm, they were better than she remembered, better than before. This time the kiss felt special, like a gift that she thought she’d never have back again.
Stefan pulled away, one hand sliding along her jaw, and held her gaze.
Claire smiled, unable to hide her pleasure.
‘Goodnight, Stefan,’ she said, turning to walk to the bedroom.
Glowing on the inside, she felt this was a lovely way to go to sleep. She could close her eyes and remember the warmth of his touch, the gentleness of his kiss. She reached the bedroom, her hand on the doorknob, when she felt his hand press against her waist through her fine jersey top. Claire froze. He hadn’t finished with her yet.
She felt the warmth of Stefan’s breath on her neck, felt the growing anticipation of each passing moment. As she turned, he wrapped his arms around her, wedging her against the door. Claire looked up into his eyes and saw the desire smouldering in their depths, just as she had so many times before.
His mouth came down against hers, slowly yet forceful, and her head nudged the back of the door. This wasn’t sympathy or gratitude. She’d been wrong on that one.
Claire’s hands were on the hard muscles of his chest. Damn it, but she shouldn’t let him do this to her. She should know better.
But it was too late.
Snaking her arms around the back of his neck, Claire pulled him closer and kissed him back, kissed him like it was their one chance, like this was the last time she’d ever see him.
Stefan rolled his tongue against hers and deepened the kiss, all the time pressing himself against her. He’d kissed her many times before, but not like this, not with so much desire.
There was nothing else in the world but the two of them. There was only this moment, their passion.
Heat pooled low in her belly, nuzzling at her deep inside. Strange at first, then suddenly familiar, Claire felt her growing need, recognising the acute sensation of sexual desire as it built up from within. Eventually, Stefan pulled away. His face still near hers, Claire tilted her head closer, trying to make the moment last as long as possible. His lips were on her neck, and he peppered little kisses down along its curve. Her skin sizzled at his touch but the moment had passed. She’d been too reckless already.
Claire pushed him away. ‘Goodnight, Stefan.’
A furrow formed in his brow, and he leaned forward again but her arms were still between them. She looked him in the eye and slowly shook her head. Her mind was made up.
Stefan stepped back. Claire grabbed the opportunity, turned and walked through her bedroom door, closing it firmly behind her.
Damn it, she was shaking. How had that just happened? Sensations were still coursing through her body, but Claire tried to control it, breathing deeply in an attempt to compose herself. Stepping over to the bed, she sat down, her shoulders hunched, her breathing ragged.
On the other side of the door, at first she could hear nothing, and then there was the soft shuffle of footsteps as Stefan walked away.
It had only been a kiss; he was still learning about himself and his past life. She was reading too much into it. I
f so, why did it leave her feeling so empty, like something had been stolen from inside her?
Staring at the door, Claire knew there’d be no need to lock it, knew he wouldn’t be walking through the door tonight. She’d said ‘no’ and he’d respect that.
She knew him so well.
And Stefan didn’t know her at all.
Didn’t know that if he opened that door right now, Claire would melt into his arms and give herself over to him completely.
Chapter Ten
Veronica Ford didn’t think of it as multi-tasking, as for her that was merely a way of life. Only rarely did she get to do just the one thing at a time, and had that decided if she had to do five things at once, she would give each task her all.
The women in the office who had children all talked about the act of juggling a career and raising kids, and being constantly pulled from one to another. Veronica didn’t have kids—she had never felt the need—but was better at this juggling business than any of her female colleagues.
None of them were senior partners like she was. Veronica could manage her caseload as well as her home life, had taken on a leadership role in extra projects, and was still ready to leap on any opportunities that came her way.
Opportunity: that’s what life was all about.
After a few celebratory drinks in the boardroom, Veronica found herself pleasantly chatting with a couple of her colleagues, while in her mind she was going through the outstanding items on her desk and thinking about the tasks she’d have to delegate.
The whole time she kept one eye on Stefan Porter.
She had an awareness, a sixth sense. Veronica knew exactly where he was and to whom he was talking to at any one time. Stefan looked uncomfortable, and understandably so, but he was here and that had been a huge step on its own.
Claire had come to the party with him, and no one had been in a position to object given his condition.
His condition, Veronica thought, seemed pretty darn good from where she was standing. At work, he’d always looked smart in a suit, but he’d ditched the business attire for the time being—his shoulders looked broad in the patterned aqua shirt he wore, the colour bringing out the blue in his eyes. His shirt hung over a pair of flat-fronted, steel gray trousers that leant him an air of casual sophistication. Then there was the goatee he’d grown a couple of months back, almost as if he’d been anticipating his new laid-back appearance.
At the corner of her vision, she saw someone pull Claire away for a chat. This was the moment Veronica had been waiting for.
She excused herself from her colleagues on the pretence of getting another drink, swept her empty champagne glass from the board table behind her and headed straight towards Stefan. He saw her coming and offered her a wan smile. It was a start.
‘Hello, Veronica.’
She brightened. ‘You remembered my name.’
‘My short term memory is very good. It’s the rest of my brain that fails me.’
Holding up her glass, Veronica said, ‘I was planning on a refill. The bottle’s on the cabinet just behind you.’
‘So it is.’
Taking the hint, he stepped backwards and reached for the bottle. Veronica took a few steps forward, moving closer to give them some breathing space from the others around them. Stefan filled her glass, then replaced the bottle.
‘You’re drinking beer.’ She nodded toward the longneck in his hand. ‘Out of the bottle.’
‘I gather that’s unusual for me.’
Veronica smiled. ‘But not so bad. There are worse things you can do.’
‘They offered me a chardonnay as soon as I walked in, but beer is so much more refreshing.’ Stefan glanced around. ‘And no one else is drinking beer, so there’s no competition.’
Veronica had Stefan all to herself for the time being, and while she had him, it was them versus us. She’d sympathise with him, shield him from the enquiries of the other solicitors, and provide a sympathetic ear. She had a sensitive side, after all.
She tilted her head. ‘Sounds like you needed a drink to deal with this lot.’
‘They mean well, or so I’ve been told, but they don’t seem to get it. Everyone I speak to thinks I should still be interested in this MRC Insurance case.’ Stefan shook his head. ‘The case means nothing to me.’
‘No, it probably wouldn’t now but it did once. You’ll get used to them. Like you said, they mean well.’
God, there was nothing Veronica loved more than a challenge and Stefan was all that and more. She’d always fancied him, and although he’d been married she wasn’t going to e let a small thing like that get in her way. But Stefan had stayed away. Even after dumping Claire, he’d still stuck to those ridiculous vows. Veronica could never work out why.
Now the tables had turned. Stefan might have lost his memory but had lost none of his charm, and the situation made him all the more intriguing.
She hated to admit it, but at work Stefan had always been a more highly skilled lawyer than she. He had such a brilliant analytical mind, and could cut to the core of any argument; He was a dynamo, always inspiring the junior staff to work to their utmost ability.
He wasn’t so far above her any more.
In fact, Veronica thought he was just within reach.
‘We’re all interested in the intricacies of the law and how it works,’ she said. ‘That’s the main tool of our trade but, don’t worry, I won’t bore you with it. I’m sure your life at the moment is much more exciting than mine. So, tell me what you’ve been up to.’
‘Do you really want to know?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘I went to see the Harbour Bridge and the Sydney Opera House.’
The look on his face told Veronica that this was a test; he was waiting to see if she’d laugh at him. That was the one thing she would never do.
‘And what did you think?’ she asked.
Stefan nodded. ‘Amazing structures. Sydney harbour is too magnificent for words.’
Her lips curled. ‘You’re right. They’re spectacular.’ After a pause, Veronica added. ‘So, before that, you didn’t know what the harbour or the bridge looked like?’
‘No.’
‘It must’ve been fantastic seeing them again for the first time.’
‘It was.’
’How wonderful for you to experience it through fresh eyes. I think Sydney is a beautiful city, but it’s far too easy to take everything for granted when you live here. Maybe I should take a leaf out of your book and do the same thing.’
‘I wouldn’t recommend the being hit over the head part.’
‘I might skip that bit.’ Smiling, she added, ‘See, not all lawyers are so bad.’
Stefan’s gaze wandered. ‘I still don’t feel like I belong.’
‘The boardroom isn’t exactly meant to convey a pleasing atmosphere.’ Veronica shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. ‘We could always go somewhere else for a drink.’
Stefan’s expression changed, becoming rigid, as though his facial muscles had frozen in place.
Damn it, she’d jumped in too soon.
‘There are a few of us who often head to the Burgundy Bar for a cocktail,’ Veronica added, softening the invitation. ‘You’re welcome to join us.’
‘No, thanks.’ He looked down, then up again as though there was a question on the tip of his tongue.
‘Was there something you wanted to ask?’
‘I feel so out of place here that I find it hard to believe I once fitted in. Was I like these other people? Did I live and breathe work?’
She nodded. ‘Pretty much. You had another life as well, though, with Claire.’ Veronica added, ‘But that didn’t work out so well in the end.’
‘So I gathered.’
‘But you didn’t fall apart after. You got on with things.’
‘Was there a difference?’ Stefan asked. ‘After Claire and I broke up, did I act the same at work?’
Veronica made sure he had his facts st
raight. ‘After you left her, you mean?’
‘Yes.’
She tried to appear thoughtful. ‘You were every bit as ambitious and hard-working as ever you were. Nothing there seemed to have changed. Not that I could tell.’
Frowning, Veronica remembered the first day he’d walked in with that long goatee on his chin, his cheeks clean-shaven. That had marked the beginning of a quiet patch. Stefan had kept to himself after that, refusing to give anything away.
‘Something happened,’ Stefan said. ‘I can see from the look on your face.’
Veronica collected her thoughts. ‘A couple of months ago you became…sullen. You grew that goatee and your hair was already looking longer. At first, I thought you might have been letting yourself go. Then I wondered if it might be some sort of early mid-life crisis. This was months after you’d broken up with Claire and had nothing to do with her, I’m sure.’
Stefan raised his eyebrows. ‘I’ll add that to the list of things I don’t remember.’
‘It was no big deal, and I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. This is your big chance to do what you never did before—take it easy and enjoy life.’
He held her gaze but there was nothing in it, no emotion. ‘It’s been very interesting talking to you.’
Veronica nodded, a plastic smile plastered across her face as Stefan turned and made his way across the room to Claire.
She’d blown it.
Veronica knew failure, but wasn’t used to losing, and she certainly wasn’t one to give up. She hadn’t scored this time but the game was far from over.
He’d had enough. More than enough.
Stefan had to trust his gut. He had no past experiences and judgments to rely on, but he was quick enough to work a few things out for himself.
One—he didn’t belong here.
Two—Claire was the only person he could trust.
Three, which followed naturally—he should get the hell out of here and take Claire with him.
‘We should say goodbye to Brian first,’ Claire said.
Stefan shrugged. ‘Why?’
‘Because he’s the one who invited us and he’s always been good to you.’