by Trejo, Erin
“I didn’t ask for your permission, Gentry. This child has lost both her parents. I can’t watch a piece of him go into the foster system. We were having trouble back then. Now, I know that’s no excuse for what he did but it happened, and this is what we’re left with. It’s an imperfect situation and this child is paying the ultimate price right now. I’m asking you to help me here. Help me give that little girl a home,” she says with tears in her eyes.
I rub at my beard, wondering how this would all play out. How I can look at a child that I know was conceived behind my mom’s back. How could I care about that little girl? I feel bad she has no family, but she represents something that makes me so angry. He betrayed me. He betrayed my mom. And she’s the proof of his actions.
“I don’t know what to say, Mom. I honestly don’t. I always looked up to Pop as a strong and honest man, and now I hear this?”
She nods and places her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at her once more. “I know that and I’m so sorry that I had to be the one to tell you this, but Gentry, she’s family. No matter how she came to be, she shares your blood. And we always put family first.” With that, she turns and walks away from me, leaving me to my own thoughts and feelings.
Hope
“Are you okay?” I ask resting my hand on his shoulder. Gentry has been sitting on the back porch with his head in his hands for a long time now, and frankly, I’m getting worried about him. Lightning flashes across the sky. When Gentry looks up at me, I can see the storm brewing in his eyes.
“I’m pissed, Hope. He was my Pop!” he roars. I jolt a little before moving to sit next to him, slipping my arm around his waist.
“I’m sorry.”
“I looked up to him. I aspired to be like him, Hope. Everything I’ve ever done was because of him, and now I learn that he wasn’t the man I thought he was? He’s not the man I idolized my whole life?” He looks out at the cloudy sky with his own storm ripping through him.
“You aren’t him, Gentry. Don’t think like that,” I tell him seeing the look in his eyes.
“Am I not?”
“No, you’re not.”
He blinks a few times as the rain begins to fall. Gentry turns to me, grabbing my face in his hands.
“I will never, ever do that to you, Hope. I promise you, you mean more to me than anything in the world. I wouldn’t cheat on you, I need you to know that,” he says in a serious tone. His words bleed into me. I know he’d never do that to me.
“I know, Gentry. I know that,” I reassure him. He leans in and presses his lips to mine.
“Never, Hope. I love you too much to do that to you,” he whispers as thunder cracks through the sky.
I slip my hands around his neck, pulling him closer to me. When I can’t get him close enough, I climb up and straddle his lap. My legs wrap around his waist as my kisses remind him that I know who he is. I know his heart. Gentry doesn’t stop kissing me, and even as the rain beats against our skin, we keep each other as close as possible. When he pulls back, I notice the tears in his eyes. If I could take them all away, I would. If I could take his pain, I would do it gladly.
“What do I do, Hope? How do I look at a child who belongs to him and not hate it?”
“Your heart is a lot bigger than you think, Gentry. You have so much love in your heart that I don’t even know how you hold it all.”
“I just don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do, Hope,” he begs me.
My heart hurts for him. I grab his face in mine, pulling him closer to me, giving him what I know he needs.
“You love her. You love her like you love me, like you love your mom. You open your heart and show her that she has the best big brother in the world. You teach her, you lead her, guide her. Show her how to be the most amazing person she can be because that’s exactly who you are, Gentry. You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my life. You’re selfless, funny, caring. There are so many qualities that I love about you that I know you can share with her. Just let yourself love her too.”
His eyes hold mine until he pulls me into him. Hugging him, holding him is the best feeling in the world. I know this won’t solve the problem, but it’s a step in the right direction. And I’m thankful to be holding his hand while he takes it.
“What would I do without you?” he asks, and I decide it’s time to break the tension.
“For one you’d have to play with yourself and the only view of a nice ass you’d get is Dawson’s.” Gentry chuckles and it goes straight to my core.
“You’ve been checking out Dawson’s ass, huh?” He tickles my sides making me laugh. “Guess I need to show you who you belong to.”
“I think I’d like that.”
“Oh, I know you would. That’s why you’re not getting any tonight.” Lifting me in his arms, we’re both soaked from the rain but there’s a lighter feeling in the air and his eyes.
“I meant what I said, Hope. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Good thing I’m not going anywhere.”
“Except into that room to get on your knees,” he says, setting me on my feet and slapping my ass roughly.
I yelp but walk up the steps and in the back door. It takes less than a second for him to lift me in his arms and carry me through the house. As soon as we get into his room, he closes the door and sets me on my feet. Spinning me to face him, his eyes darken. He reaches out, pulling my wet shirt from my body before moving to my shorts. He reaches for his shirt and pulls it off when I reach for his jeans. His eyes burn through me, passion filling the air. After I shove his jeans down his thick thighs, I grab his dick in my hand.
“What are you doing?” he asks huskily.
I drop to my knees, lick my lips, and take him into my mouth. Gentry hisses, his ab muscles tensing. I move my head, taking him into my throat before pulling back out. I’ve never done this before and I hope I’m doing it right. Gentry’s hand comes to rest on the top of my head as I peer up at him. His eyes are laser focused on mine as I suck him back in.
“You look so perfect with my dick in your mouth,” he grunts.
The faster I move, the harder he becomes in my mouth. Gentry’s hand tightens in my hair. “You’re going to need to stop,” he grunts, nearly panting. I shake my head no and keep going until he swells and comes. I swallow down everything he has to offer as noises leave his throat. When he loosens his grip, I pull my mouth away from him. In seconds, Gentry has me pulled to my feet, his lips crashing into mine. He walks us backwards and pushes me down onto the bed. I giggle when he climbs on between my parted thighs.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says under his breath. Reaching between us he runs his fingers through my wetness. My back arches off the bed, silently begging him for more. Before I have the chance to beg him, he thrusts into me.
“Gentry!” I call his name, begging him for more. He gives me what I want.
“You feel so good, Hope. God, I should have never let you go before.”
His words slam into me as I hold onto him. Feeling him moving in and out of me is perfection. Holding him in my arms is a dream come true. Everything I could have ever wanted in a man is all inside of Gentry. If I had known then what I do now, I don’t know that I could have left him after high school.
16
Gentry
My knee bounces up and down as we wait. The process of getting Ally took longer than we thought. We had to have tests and home checks and all kinds of things before the judge would let my mom take her. They even had my mom evaluated to make sure she wasn’t insane. It was an agonizingly long few months. Now we wait. We wait for them to bring her out here to us.
“Can you stop?” Hope snaps at me, grabbing my knee in her hand.
“I can’t help it. It’s like getting a blow job for the first time. It’s exciting.” I make it a point to smirk at her. She shakes her head, her cheeks turning pink.
“Gentry!” Mom scolds but I laugh again. We all go silent when we hear the ca
r coming up the drive.
“They here?” I ask glancing over at mom. I think I’m just as anxious as her.
She stands from her seat and moves toward the door nodding her head. Boudreaux runs off the porch barking like a lunatic. I step outside and call him back when she climbs out of the car. I gasp when I first see her. Mom already got to meet her and talk to her, but I haven’t. She walks cautiously toward us. My God, I’m struck by how she does look so much like me. Her big blue eyes peer up at me with a slight smile on her face.
“Is that your dog?” she asks pointing to Boudreaux. Hope nudges me when I don’t respond.
“Yeah. Well, technically he’s yours now too. His name’s Boudreaux.”
She smiles as the dog trots down to check her out. She laughs when she leans down and he licks her cheeks. A smile creeps across my face as I take it all in. My mom and the case worker exchange a few words as I watch her.
“She’s beautiful,” Hope whispers.
“She is.”
“Looks a lot like you,” she adds.
“I know. Her eyes are the same color as mine.”
“They said I have a big brother,” Ally looks up at us, probably wondering why we’re staring at her. My mouth opens and closes but no words form.
“This is Gentry. He’s your big brother,” Hope says nudging me forward a little.
“You are?” Ally asks. Staring up at me is the mirror image of myself. I can’t believe it.
“Yeah, I am.” I squat down in front of her watching the way she looks me over.
“I didn’t know about you before my mom died.”
“I didn’t know about you either, but that’s okay, right? We have time to get to know each other.”
“I like your ranch. I like horses,” she says softly.
“Well, you’re in luck. We have a lot of horses here. Want me to show you your room?”
She nods her head, and when I stand she reaches out grabbing my hand in hers. It’s the strangest feeling that I have running through me. I didn’t know how I’d feel about her or any of this but this just feels…right. I lead Ally into the house and up the stairs where my mom’s room is. There’s a second bedroom up here that we already have set up for her. Ushering her into the room, her mouth falls open.
“This is all for me?” She looks up at me in amazement.
“Yep, it’s all yours. We didn’t know what you liked so Hope helped pick out most of it,” I tell her when she turns to Hope.
“Are you his girlfriend?” she asks her.
Hope’s mouth opens to respond, but I speak first. “She is. She lives here too so if you ever need a girl to talk to, you know besides Mom, she’s a good one.” Hope smiles brightly nodding her head with tears in her eyes. I know this is a lot for her too, but she is handling it perfectly.
“Do you hate me for having the same dad?” Her words nearly knock the wind out of me. Shaking my head, I sit on the edge of her bed and look over at her.
“No, I don’t hate you. It was hard for me to know that my pop had another kid out there. I wished I would have known about you a long time ago, but you’re here now. We’re family. And that’s all that really matters.”
“I didn’t see him much. Mom said that he had too many things to do on his ranch, but that when he had time he would come see me. He died, though.”
Jesus, this might be harder than I thought.
“Yeah, he did but you know what? He loved you.” Even saying it chokes me up. I know he loved her, how could he not? He created her and that alone took some kind of love.
Hope
“What are you smiling about?” Gentry asks as he strolls toward me.
“You are amazing,” I tell him honestly.
“I knew that.” He smirks.
“I mean it. You have really taken to Ally the last few weeks.”
“She’s amazing, Hope. I didn’t know I’d like having a sister.” The way he beams with happiness sets my heart soaring.
“I’m glad. She seems happy here. Even your mom has taken to her.”
“I didn’t know how she’d do it before. I mean, taking in the kid of the woman your husband had an affair with? But Mom, she’s my hero. I get what she was saying about Ally needing a family.”
“She has a good one here,” I add.
“That she does.” Pulling me into his arms, he presses a kiss to the top of my head.
“Are you happy?” I ask him. He pulls back and looks down at me a little worried.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I was just asking.”
“What’s that?” he asks nodding over my shoulder. Panic sets in. My hands tremble.
“That’s, uh, well. That’s something we need to talk about,” I tell him. Gentry furrows his brow as he looks at me and back to the cabinet.
“What is it?” He releases his hold on me and moves around me to the counter. Lifting the plastic in his hand he reads it. “Hope? Something I need to know?” He sounds so serious. It is a digital test, meaning he can read what it says.
“Not really.”
“Not really? You sure about that?”
“Yep. Was thinking about going and having a beer. Or thirty. Care to join me?” I ask moving toward the door when he grabs me and pulls me back.
“Nice try, city girl. Is this yours?” he asks holding the test up to me.
“Well, I don’t think it’s your mom’s.” Trying my hand at a joke isn’t working. I’m nervous. No, I’m beyond nervous.
“Hope, say it,” he says as a slight smile curls his lips.
“Say what?”
“Say what this is.”
“It’s a test.”
“What kind of test?”
Why is he doing this to me? Why can’t he just say what it is himself and get this over with. Oh, I know why. Because he’s Gentry Jesse Weston, that’s why!
“It’s a pregnancy test, Gentry. I’m pregnant. Happy now?” He smiles, bringing the test to his lips and kissing it. “I peed on that stick you know.” He pulls it away from his lips and spits into the sink, making me laugh. When he turns around his eyes move to my stomach.
“I’m having a baby?” he asks, slow moving closer to me. His hand rests on my stomach and his eyes find mine.
“The girl at the pharmacy was pregnant, too. Must be something in the air in Arizona,” I joke.
“Yeah, your legs, baby. That’s what was in the air. Damn, Hope! We’re having a baby!”
I’ve never seen him as excited as he is right now. He isn’t mad, or angry. He’s happy.
“Yeah we are. Are you happy about this?” He looks up at me and that smile of his melts my heart and causes my stomach to clench. Pulling me into his arms he kisses me roughly.
“Damn right I’m happy. This is it, Hope. This is what I’ve always wanted. You, me, this baby.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure! I’m going to be a dad.” He picks me up and spins me around before setting me on my feet. “Hey, how did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?” I shake my head and turn to walk out of the bathroom not wanting to hear his answer.
“Don’t you even, Gentry,” I warn him over my shoulder.
“He didn’t wrap his whooper! Get it?”
Against my better judgement I laugh at him. “You’re crazy.”
“About you. I can’t believe this, Hope. We’re having a baby.”
17
Gentry
“Ally, come here!” I call out for her. She’s petting one of the horses in the stable with Dawson. She turns when she hears me and comes running.
“What’s in the bags?” she asks looking up at me with wide eyes.
“Think you can help me out with something?” I ask her. She nods and smiles before I jerk my head to the right. Ally falls into step next to me as I walk through the field.
“What are we doing?” she asks skipping along next to me.
“Well, I need to surprise Hope, but I can’t
do it on my own. I need a helper,” I wink at her.
“I can help!”
“Good. Come on, I need to show you something,” I tell her as we keep walking. The sun is almost down, the dusk settling in. When we get to the pond, Ally squeals.
“Look, Gentry!” She points out at the water where the fireflies dance. I tell Ally the same stories I told Hope the night I brought her out here.
“So, we are catching them for Hope?” she asks with a smile.
“Well, I came up with this idea. We’re going to catch them, keep them in the jar, and when Hope comes out here, I’m going to ask her to marry me. If she says yes, I need you to pull the rope. That will pull all the tops off and let the fireflies out. Think you can do that?” She claps her hands and nods rapidly.
“But you said if she says yes. Do you think she’ll say no?”
“I sure hope not.”
“She won’t. She loves you, Gentry.”
“Now how do you know that?” I ask her keeping a smile on my face.
“She says it all the time,” she tells me rolling her eyes. I chuckle and pass her a jar.
“Get to work, girl. We have a lot of magic to catch tonight.”
Ally takes off filling jar after jar. I love watching her out here. So carefree. I know it’s been rough for her without her mom, but she seems to be settling in just fine. She makes me wonder about my own child. Will it look like me? Take after Hope? Will I be a good dad? There are a lot of unknowns that make me nervous about becoming a dad, but I know I was raised by one of the best, regardless of some of the choices he made.
“That’s all of them!” Ally says running back toward me.
“Okay. I’m going to get the line ready. You run back and get Hope, tell her to meet me out here, and then you run back first.”