by Laura Howard
I sat up in my bed—another strange dream—and sighed in relief to find myself in bed at Gram’s. But as my heart settled, I considered how many dreams like that I’d had in the past six months. A whisper in the back of my mind taunted me. Crazy. Just like her.
I couldn’t remember if my mother’s illness began with bizarre dreams, though. The days before my mother really lost her sanity were hazy at best. Memories of her in the mirror combing my hair were outnumbered by the breakdowns and vacant stares.
I look over at my clock. It was early but there was no way I’d be able to get back to sleep. Might as well get my run in before the heat became unbearable.
The rhythmic thumping of my sneakers soothed me when my mind worked overtime. I had always been fast, so fast I sometimes felt like I was flying. It had won me countless medals and awards over the years, but that’s not why I did it. Running was something that was for me and only me. Things like schizophrenic mothers, reappearing fathers, and boys with dimples didn’t exist when I ran. All I felt was the wind and my heartbeat, my feet carrying me along. And the less I felt right then, the better.
I wiped the sweat from my brow as I got closer to home, my heart pumping, each beat throbbing in my ears. My body felt strong, but inside I felt weak, scared, overwhelmed. I needed to cool down—in more ways than one—so I slowed my pace, trying to match my breaths to my footsteps. Anger at Liam was sitting heavy on my chest, a cannonball filled to the brim with years of guilt and hurt threatening to implode. Why did he have to show up? My mother was sick enough already.
As I approached my grandparents’ driveway, a flash of black caught my attention. Those damn black birds had been watching me whenever I came or went. They hadn’t caused any more upsets with my mother, at least, so I tried to ignore their beady little eyes, even though I wanted to chase them all away.
I pulled my ear buds out as one flapped its wings. But it was a movement beyond the bird that startled me.
Several yards in from the street I could just make out the figures of two men standing by a pickup truck in the clearing. They were on my grandparents’ property, so I edged closer to the tree line to see what they were up to. Through the branches I could see one of the men gesturing with his arms. I couldn’t make out their words, but I easily recognized the rich, low voice. Ethan.
What is he doing here? I squinted to identify the man he was talking to, but Ethan’s frame obstructed my view. I moved up the path to get a better look.
And when I did my jaw just about hit the dirt.
The man in front of Ethan was a few inches shorter, one hand rested in his light-brown hair, as if it helped him concentrate on what Ethan was saying. I’m not sure what gave me away, but those sharp blue eyes quickly shifted to where I stood. What was Liam doing here talking with Ethan?
As I began backing away, Ethan followed my father’s eyes, nailing me in place. His entire demeanor changed upon seeing me there. One minute he was all business, the next his eyes brightened like he was a man in the desert and I was a cold drink of water.
Ethan started toward me, and I was filled with dread as my father walked alongside him, both pairs of eyes trained on my face.
“Hey, Al,” Ethan said.
I did my best to smile at him, but my attention was on the man walking to his left.
“I didn’t even know your grandparents sold this plot,” Ethan said as he approached.
My eyes darted to Liam. This was news to me, too.
“This is Liam McKeown. Liam, this is Allison O’Malley—Tom and Jane’s granddaughter.”
I nodded politely, and Liam cleared his throat. Being around Liam and Ethan at the same time wasn’t something I’d anticipated, and obviously neither did Liam. The tension between us was palpable. When Ethan’s cell phone went off, the air in my chest heaved itself out. I couldn’t hold my tongue for much longer. He held up his finger and walked a few yards away to take the call.
“What’s going on? What are you doing here?” I hissed, glancing over at Ethan who was laughing heartily into the phone.
“Well,” Liam began, not meeting my eyes. “I’ve just bought this lovely piece of land, and I’ve hired the Magliaros to build a house for me.”
“What kind of game are you playing?” My voice was much louder than I’d meant it to be. Ethan looked over his shoulder at me, holding his index finger up.
Liam sighed. “We all have to have a home, don’t we?”
Anger licked at the base of my neck. “I won’t let you hurt my mother again.”
“Easy now, Allison.” The sad expression from the first time we met reappeared. “I’m not going to hurt your mother. In fact, I think I can help her. I just need a little more time.”
My jaw clenched as cold fear gripped my heart at the memory of mother’s tear-streaked face staring out the window. She was so beautiful, so fragile. She would shatter like hand-blown glass if Liam made an appearance in her life. I just knew it.
Ethan hung up the phone and start back to us. “You don’t know what you’ll do to her if she sees you,” I said quickly.
Ethan looked between Liam and me, puzzled, as he stopped beside us.
“Everything okay, Al?”
“Everything is just fine, my friend,” Liam answered, his smile reappearing. “Ms. O'Malley and I have just learned we have a lot of the same interests. Isn’t that right?”
I swallowed down the first reply that came to mind and glanced down at the ground. Then, looking at Ethan, I put my mask back in place. “Yeah, it seems that way.”
Ethan cocked his eyebrow at me and turned to his new client.
“Thanks for meeting with me today, Ethan,” Liam said evenly. “I’ll be in touch with your office to make arrangements.”
Ethan and I stood quietly as Liam walked down the path toward the road.
“What just happened here? It sounded like you were arguing.”
“I was taken by surprise, that’s all.” I smiled, hoping to be convincing. “I had no idea someone had bought this plot.” I looked back down the path after Liam. The only vehicle on sight was Ethan’s pickup truck. How had Liam gotten here? And what on earth was he up to?
I ran my finger over the clingy, green tank top hanging in my closet. It was a little revealing for a Fourth of July cookout. Maybe I should wear a simple T-shirt. I stood pondering my outfit, focusing on something I could control for a change. Why was I so worried about how I looked for this cookout anyway? I’d known the Magliaros forever. I’d known Ethan forever.
I sighed and reached for the green tank when a flash in the woods stole my attention. There was no way that was just the sun reflection off an aluminum pie plate. I walked over to the window and saw…nothing. What was wrong with me? I let out a frustrated groan, threw on my top, and jogged down the stairs. I was going to find those pie plates hanging from trees in the backyard—there was no other explanation for it.
I walked out back, my eyes scanning the trees. I heard footsteps behind me and whipped around, my hand flying to my mouth when I saw my mother standing directly in front of me. She stared over my shoulder into the woods, her gaze intent. She must’ve seen it too.
“Mom? What are you doing out here?” I asked, looking around for my grandparents. My mother only left the house to go to doctor’s appointments, and even then she had to be heavily medicated. She didn’t answer me, just kept looking beyond me into the woods where Liam and Ethan had met the other day.
“What is it?” I asked turning back toward the tree line. I bit my lip, hoping she hadn’t glimpsed Liam that day.
My mother started walking toward the trees. Oh, no. Not a good idea. I rushed up beside her. “Uh, why don’t we go back inside, Mom? I think The Ellen Show is coming on.”
She stopped and turned to me. She stared into my eyes for a minute, her expression full of longing, then she nodded, the light in her eyes flickering out as she allowed me to lead her toward the deck.
As we climbed the stairs Gram opened th
e slider, still holding a dishrag in her hand. “There you two are,” she said, casting me a curious glance.
“We were just listening to some animals squabbling in the woods, Gram. But we’re heading in now since we don’t want to miss Ellen.” I raised my eyebrows and hoped Gram caught my I’ll tell you later look.
“Oh, I see,” Gram said, nodding.
After I got my mother situated in front of the television, I joined Gram at the kitchen counter where she was chopping a cucumber and adding it to a salad.
“I heard something in the woods,” I explained. “I guess Mom followed me outside.”
Gram continued chopping. “Hmm…that’s strange. Was there anything out there?”
“Just some birds squabbling,” I said, grabbing a cucumber slice. “But that reminds me. Ethan told me he’s building a house on that empty plot?”
Gram placed the knife on the counter and wiped her hands on a towel. She looked into my eyes and smiled. It wasn’t a happy smile, but a silent plea for understanding.
“You’re wondering why Pop and I didn’t tell you about selling the property. I understand.”
“I know it’s none of my business, but it was just a surprise.”
“No, of course, it’s your business. That land was supposed to be your mother’s, just like the property on the other side belongs to Aunt Jessie,” she said. “Pop and I talked it over, and we decided to sell it to Mr. McKeown. He paid more than twice what we asked for it, and we’re putting the profit in an account for your mother’s future.”
I nodded and smiled. They had tried to give the land to me after my high school graduation. I hadn’t wanted it then, and I didn’t want it now. Their plan was definitely a good use for it. But the fact that Liam was the one to instigate it shot off major warning bells in my mind. But I couldn’t tell her that…
“Is this for me to bring to the cookout?” I asked, changing the subject.
She glanced up at me, then continued chopping. “It is.”
“I don’t have to go, if you and Pop want to instead,” I offered. “You guys are always cooped up here.”
Gram placed the knife on the counter again and turned to look me in the eye. “Don’t be silly, Allison.” She bent to pull a box of plastic wrap out of the bottom drawer.
“I’m not!” I laughed, knowing exactly what I was doing, but continuing anyway. “I don’t mind staying home. Cookouts aren’t really my thing.”
“You’re going to that party, and you’ll have a good time. I don’t want to hear another thing about it.”
The driveway at the Magliaro house was twice as full as it had been for the last cookout. There were even cars parked down the street. Nicole had warned me that in addition to family and co-workers, several of the Magliaro’s clients would be there too, networking opportunity that it was. She saved a spot for me right on the lawn in front of Jeff’s Jeep, though, so I scooted past the parked cars toward the house.
There were people of all ages everywhere I looked, kids running around the enormous yard, elderly women sitting in the shade of an ancient oak tree. As I walked by the floor-to-ceiling living room window, I could see that inside was just as crowded. Climbing the steps of the deck, I heard my name being called.
“Allison!” Joanne waved at me from one of the French doors leading inside. I smiled and went to say hello. As I approached, she opened the screen door and ushered me inside.
“Hello, sweetheart. I’m so glad you made it. Let me get that for you,” she said warmly, taking the salad out of my hands.
I followed her through the mass of people into the kitchen. She put the salad down on the center island, which was already crowded with similar dishes.
“How’s your mom?”
“Pretty good today. The nurse came yesterday to take out her stitches.”
“Good. That’s good, honey. I really am glad you could come today.” Her expression turned mischievous. “Ethan told me you two went to DeeDee’s the other night. I always knew he had—”
“What did you always know, Mom?” Ethan appeared from nowhere, poking my side and making me jump.
“Ethan! It’s not polite to eavesdrop!” Joanne laughed as she smacked him.
“Hey, now—no hitting!” He rubbed his chest. “And I wasn’t eavesdropping, I just wanted to come greet our guest.”
“All right, all right. I get the hint,” Joanna said. “Have a good time, Allison. I’ll talk to you later.”
Ethan looked down at me then. His eyes skimmed over my tank top and then back up to my face. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I mumbled, embarrassed at the smoldering look in his eyes.
That was as much of a greeting as I would get, though, because Nicole and Jeff walked over then.
“There you are, Al!” Nic wrapped me in a hug. “Did you have anything to eat yet?”
“Um, no. I just got here,” I said, extricating myself from her grip.
“You’ve got to try the scallops Jeff’s dad is grilling. Oh, and we made these amazing cookies, too. Come on!” She tugged my arm, leading us all out onto the back deck. As Nicole went on about the food and what I needed to try, I felt the strangest sensation in the back of my head, like someone was tickling my brain with a feather.
Allison…
A enchanting, musical voice, unlike any I’d heard before, whispered my name. I looked around.
Allison, it said again.
I couldn’t pinpoint who was speaking. It sounded like it was coming from inside my head. But that didn’t make any sense…
“I’d just love to try some of your cookies, Jeffrey,” I heard Ethan tease. He hadn’t heard it, I guess.
“Make fun of me all you want, pal. But, I make some mean peanut butter cookies.” Jeff lightly punched Ethan in the shoulder.
Allison…
There it was again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two people standing far away from the crowd. You’ve got to be kidding. Liam and a blonde woman I’d never seen before stood close together. I blinked, and they were gone.
Four guys, as tall and as built as Ethan, approached us, each with a beer and a plate of food balanced in their hands. They greeted Ethan and Jeff, and it was obvious they knew each other well.
Ethan stiffened a tiny bit and put his arm around my shoulder. Surprised, I looked up at him.
“Oh, guys. This is Allison, Nicole’s cousin. Al, these are the guys on our crew—Ted, Jack, Vinny, and Rich.”
I tried to be polite and smile, but my eyes scanned the yard, trying to track down Liam and the mystery woman.
Allison.
The soda can slipped out of my hand and crashed onto the deck, fizzing all over the legs of the men I’d just met. I dropped down onto my knees to grab the offending soda, horrified.
Snippets of past conversations regarding my mother’s behavior seeped into my mind.
Aunt Jessie’s soft, concerned tone: “She’s always so tense.”
The deep, baritone of the psychologist: “It’s paranoid schizophrenia.”
Gram talking quietly with Pop: “The voices in her head.”
Hands trembling visibly, I looked up, and my eyes locked on Liam and the blonde, who were across the yard from me. Liam looked uncomfortable; the woman just looked amused.
“Let me just get some napkins,” I muttered, searching for anything to clean up the spill.
Ethan frowned at me and followed me to the table that held napkins. “It’s okay, Al. It’s just a soda, no big deal.”
I huffed out a breath, realizing what a fool I was making of myself. I pursed my lips and nodded.
“Hey, where should I put the fireworks?” Sean asked as he and Rachel joined us. I was grateful for their arrival, hoping my embarrassing overreaction would be forgotten. Sean’s arm was wrapped loosely around her waist. Apparently they were on-again today. It didn’t stop her from batting her eyelashes at the guys, though, and of course, she sneered over at me. Then as if I didn’t exist, she turned her back on me and launc
hed into conversation with Nicole.
I tried to relax, listen to the conversations around me, and have a good time. Just before twilight, the guys went out to the fire pit to get the fireworks ready. Nicole and Rachel were at the picnic table near the pool chatting with a group of friends. I saw my chance to take a minute alone so I headed to get another drink.
“This is some party,” a familiar voice said from behind me. I turned to see Liam standing in the shadow of the pool house.
“What are you even doing here?” I asked, looking around for the blonde woman he’d been with earlier.
Liam smiled, and his eyes flickered to Ethan. “My new contractor invited me, of course.”
“Where is...where is the blonde you were with before?” I ground out. Not exactly the way to convince me he really still loved my mother as he’d claimed.
Liam looked tense and ignored my question. “You have every reason to hate me, Allison. I know that. But I’m here to help your mother, not harm her. There were circumstances that kept me away until now.”
“They must have been some circumstances.”
“I know that’s vague.” He coughed a little and looked down. “But it’s the most I can tell you at the moment.”
I laughed, surprised at how cold it sounded. “No comment.”
“I know that I’m responsible for your mother’s current state. But I really believe I can help her recover.”
I twisted to look him in the eye. “I told you I don’t want you near her.”
“Please, allow me to finish. Helping your mother isn’t the only thing I wanted to talk to you about today.”
I frowned at him.
“I believe she’s in danger.”
“My mother is schizophrenic. There is no chance she can, as you say, recover.” I shook my head in frustration. “And, as far as any danger she might be in, there is nothing more dangerous than having her see you again.”
“I’m not able to explain further right now, but I’m begging you, please try to trust that I’m telling the truth.”
“Trust you? That’s a joke, right?” I crossed my arms over my chest.