“Freddy can be wild when he goes into a fit. One time, he came close to hurting me. My father decided it was no longer safe for Freddy to stay.”
She had yet to mention a mother, and I sensed some pain in her past. I was curious whether her mother had agreed with the move. Rowan came from the South, and patriarchy persisted there, especially in the older, more established families.
“Did he ever hurt you?” What concerns do I need to have with this visit?
“Some bruises but nothing serious. I’m the only one who can calm him down when he gets out of control.”
“What calms him?”
“Oddly enough, a hug—the tighter, the better. Any other time, he doesn’t like physical contact, but when he gets out of sorts, I hug it out of him.”
“I’m not that familiar with autism. As I understand, they have difficulty with processing sensory input. I thought touch set them off.”
“I don’t think anyone knows for certain, but Freddy is harmless. My father did the best he could, and Freddy is happy. He loves his home, and I’ll do anything to make certain he stays that way.”
Like sign away her soul? My respect for her deepened, as I knew how willing she was to sacrifice for her brother’s happiness. I didn’t have that and never would.
“He’s the reason you signed with Infidelity.”
The depths of desperation that drove her to make such a choice made sense now. It hadn’t been about a destitute socialite looking to maintain a certain standard of living. Rowan made her choice for her brother, and I profited from that love. While she visited with her brother, I would be having a discussion with the people at Infidelity.
There was one other thing I needed to arrange.
Chapter 19: Consequences
Rowan
I’d ruined everything. Chemistry between two people was something I’d only read about. Like Moby Dick, the great white whale, people sought it but rarely ever found their soul mate. What about the attraction sizzling between us? Do I take advantage and sink into the fantasies swirling in my head? I should, but I was a coward.
Who cared if I signed a contract? I was the one who’d agreed to meet with Infidelity after Patrick mentioned how they could help. It wasn’t like I’d been forced against my will. Nobody had kidnapped me and enslaved me. And, while I was peripherally aware that sort of thing happened in the world, my current situation belonged solely to the choices I’d made.
I’d chosen Infidelity.
I’d signed the contract.
I had known the consequences of my actions.
So, why am I acting like a victim?
What am I so damn afraid of?
Richard probably thought I was insane. Even worse, he probably regretted the match Infidelity had made. I had to fix this. But how? How could I circle back to our initial meeting and begin with more enthusiasm rather than all the shit I’d dumped in his lap?
His patience astounded me. On every level, he remained the consummate gentleman. Even after the disastrous end to what should’ve been a hot introduction to the Mile-High Club, he’d treated me gently, asking questions about my family. Only now, a great distance separated us. I had done that.
I didn’t ask about him, but then what was there to ask a prince? From the multiple nondisclosure agreements I had signed, he clearly meant to keep me separate from that part of his life. I had a feeling it was best not to ask too many questions and I decided I wouldn’t grow too close.
I was being paid to be his companion and nothing more. He was paying a premium for a compliant submissive to meet his dominant needs. My response had been to insert my insecurities and destroy his hopes.
It wasn’t necessary for him to hate me. I held the corner on that market and detested what I’d done.
Holy hell, what have I done? I need this money. And Freddy…holy hell!
His hand pressed down on my arm. “Breathe, Rowan. You’re hyperventilating.”
I gulped for air. Turning wide eyes on him, I clawed at my throat. The cabin dipped down, and I gripped the armrest, terrified, until I realized the pilots must have begun our descent. That knowledge did nothing to help. Why can’t I catch my breath?
I’d ruined everything. Freddy would suffer. I would be on the streets. My entire future was destroyed because my pride couldn’t accept the truth. Darkness gathered at the edge of my vision, and I swayed in my seat. Richard pried my fingers from the death grip I had on the armrest and threaded his fingers through mine. I barely registered his presence. Breath pulsed in and out of my mouth, but my inhalations were too shallow to fill my lungs.
“Rowan!” The shout barely registered through the fog of my thoughts.
Something scratchy covered my mouth. It smelled dry and stale, like paper, and I batted it away. Then, warmth pressed against my lips. The entire world stilled as the rich flavor of Richard invaded my world. I breathed him in. One intoxicating pull sent his aroma flooding my senses. Gripping his neck, I pulled him closer, my lips parting as my lungs took a long drag of air. Another breath drew in more of his warm, dark essence until I was awash in everything Richard. A whimper escaped me as I hung on to his neck, needing more of his taste, his scent, needing more of the strength he supplied.
His kiss continued, slow and determined. I wanted more but found him pulling away. I chased him, nipping at his lower lip until his entire body crushed me against the seat. I floated then, drowned in sensation and devoured by his lips. My breaths came easily now, as if the contact had short-circuited the panic of my mind. I held on to him, my hands dropping to his shoulders where they then skated down the muscles of his arms. The kiss softened, turning into more nips and licks, and then he pulled back.
“Better?”
I blinked and blindly sought his hand. Threading my fingers with his, I brought his knuckles to my lips.
“Truth or lie?” I said. “You think I’m crazy.”
He brushed back a strand of hair from my face. “I think you’re overwhelmed. You’ve found yourself trapped in a situation you’re not prepared to handle.”
The bottom of my world dropped out as the wheels of the plane hit the runway.
“What are you going to say to Infidelity?”
He brought the back of my hand to his lips and pressed gently. “A whole hell of a lot actually,” he said, “at least until a moment ago.”
My eyes widened, and my heart fluttered with hope. “And now?”
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.”
“How are you doing?” He gave me a significant look, alerting me that this question demanded only one of two answers.
“Green.”
Placing my hand in his lap, he gave a squeeze. “Good. Now, stop overthinking. Let me lead.”
Chapter 20: Freddy
Rowan
Good? What the hell did good mean? Is this his way of giving me a reprieve? And what is he going to say to Infidelity?
My thoughts were in such a tailspin, I barely remembered him leading me off the plane.
My answer to, “What suitcase is yours?” was monosyllabic at best. I might have even grunted. I didn’t know.
It passed in a fog. One moment, I had been on the plane, answering his red or green question, and the next, he was opening the door outside Freddy’s group home. I might have gaped until he swatted me on the ass and propelled me inside. He stayed with the car, and by the time I had my wits about me, he’d already driven down the long, sweeping drive.
Next I knew, Freddy shuffled up to me and tugged my sleeve.
“Hey, sis,” he said. “Nice to see you.”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat and batted away the tears in my eyes. “Oh, Freddy, I’m so happy to see you.” It would be great to give him a big hug, but this was Freddy. I mirrored his greeting, barely touching his sleeve, grateful not to see him flinch. “I missed you. Did you miss me?”
“Always,” he said, smiling down on me.
Freddy had grown into a handsome
man. I hated he would never know anything more than the love of his sister. Autism profoundly affected him, and it was impossible for him to develop relationships with anyone outside of his very narrow world.
“What are we going to do today?” I asked. “How are your snakes?”
“Rex is full,” he said. “Ate two mice.”
“Two! And Sally?”
He grinned. “She’s sleeping.”
“Oh.”
He didn’t like bothering the snakes if they weren’t active.
Pointing down the lane, he took a step outside. “Who was that?”
“Who?”
“The man who dropped you off. He looks familiar.”
“A lot of people can look familiar.”
Odd for Freddy to show interest in anyone outside of me or his caretakers.
“Is he a friend?”
Glancing at the ceiling, I took in a deep breath. This was not a conversation I wanted to have with my brother. “He is.”
“I know him.”
“I don’t think you know him.”
“He’s Prince Richard of Wales. You should know that.”
“Freddy! How do you know that?”
“I know a lot of things,” he said. “Come, I wanna show you what I’ve been learning this week.”
Freddy wasn’t a savant, like some severely autistic individuals, but he did tend to focus in on different things. I never knew if he’d be teaching me how to play bridge or if he’d educate me about the migrational and breeding habits of swans or any number of obscure subjects. Once something caught his interest, he tended to run with it, scouring the Internet for every possible detail until he was an encyclopedic expert.
What I’d learned was, I sucked at playing bridge. Swans mated for life and mourned the loss of their mate when it died, and there were tens of thousands of orchids in existence. I was also an expert on how to take care of snakes. I hadn’t lied to Richard about that. Rex and Sally were relatively new acquisitions, less than a year old. I’d given them to Freddy as a Christmas gift when his last snake died.
“I want to meet him.”
“Who?” Although there could only be one person my brother meant.
“Prince Richard,” he said, rolling his eyes like I was an idiot. “Your friend.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I have questions.”
“What kind of questions?”
He brushed his pants. “You wouldn’t be interested.”
We spent our day chatting about my studies at Pratt. He enjoyed looking at the projects I had been working on. We visited Rex and Sally, careful not to disturb them. Freddy even took me to his garden to show the progress of his carrots and snap peas. Then, like always, Freddy decided our visit was over.
“It’s dinnertime. Time for you to go,” he said.
Freddy’s good-byes came abruptly. He meant nothing by it, but I was dismissed. Not for the first time, I wished things had been different for my brother. My recent troubles would’ve been easier to handle with a normal bother. I hated when those thoughts crept into my mind. I loved Freddy, adored the hell out of him, and wouldn’t change a thing about him, but I was human. Sometimes, I wished I had an older brother who would take care of me and not one who depended on me for everything.
With a sigh, I made my way to the lobby and hit the guest registration desk.
“Hi, Miss Cartwright,” Benny Hart said. “How is your visit going?”
“Good,” I said. “Freddy went to get a bite to eat. I need to speak with the business office about my payment.”
It would be late, but I intended to pay it. Ms. Flores hadn’t mentioned when the first deposit would make it into my bank account, but I hoped it would be soon.
“I’ll call Ms. Angelo,” he said.
“Thank you.” I stepped away and took a seat.
“Oh, Miss Cartwright?” Benny said.
“Yes?”
“Ms. Sara Donaldson from your law firm left this.” He pulled out a thick manila envelope. “She said Freddy needed to sign the documents inside.”
Odd, they hadn’t mentioned anything to me.
“Thanks, Benny. I’ll have Freddy sign as soon as possible.” As I tucked it under my arm, Ms. Angelo walked out.
“Miss Cartwright,” she said, beaming. “What a pleasure to see you.”
“Nice to see you, too,” I said, surprised by her smile. Over the past few months, we’d had difficult conversations, especially when my payments had started coming late. “I wanted to talk about Freddy’s account.”
The smile on her face spread even wider. She came to me, clasped my hands, and gave me a hug. “Oh, yes! We’re so very excited about the endowment.”
“The what?”
“The endowment in Freddy’s name! Your friend”—she lowered her voice—“the prince, said it was a gift. Very hush, hush. It’s going to do so much for the institute. Of course, it covers Freddy’s costs, but there’s so much more potential. So much good it can do for all our residents. Thank you! There simply aren’t enough words.”
I didn’t know whether to be relieved, happy, or angry. In the end, I went with relieved. I had intended to do the same with whatever residual was left at the remainder of our contract, but Richard’s donation floored me.
We talked about her plans for the facility, but eventually, her duties called her back to her desk. I took a seat in one of the chairs facing the bay window and waited for Richard’s return. I decided one thing while I waited. I didn’t want Freddy anywhere near Richard, especially if Freddy found out we were dating—or at least pretending to be a couple. When the time came for Richard and I to separate, it would devastate my brother.
Chapter 21: Termination
Rowan
With Richard’s arrival, I made my way to the circular drive. A chill set in the air as the sun crept to the horizon. There’d been no discussion about where we would spend the night, although I assumed we would not be getting two rooms.
What do I say about the endowment?
Tires crunched over the crushed stone, and dust drifted behind the car. A light breeze gusted away from me, sparing me from the airborne grit. I resisted the urge to open the passenger door. Knowing the kind of upbringing he must have had, I waited for him to open my door. The moment our hands touched, an electric shock coursed up my arm, eliciting a tiny gasp. He gave a peck on the cheek, short, sweet, and completely devoid of our previous heat. Maybe I imagined that electrical charge?
“How was your visit?” he asked.
“It was nice.”
“I’m happy to hear that.”
“He wants to meet you.”
“Me?”
“Evidently, Freddy has questions.”
“I’m happy to answer any of his questions.” Richard arched a brow. “How do you feel about me meeting your brother?”
“Honestly,” I said, remembering Richard’s comments about truth, lies, and omissions, “I’d prefer you didn’t.”
“May I ask why?”
“Freddy’s autistic, but he’s not stupid. Once he realizes we’re together, he’ll want to get to know you.”
“Why is that bad?”
“Because I don’t want to deal with what happens when we’re no longer together.” I bit my lip, hoping he understood. “I don’t mean to sound rude, but in the off chance he likes you…”
“I understand.” Richard tossed the keys high and snatched them out of the air.
I couldn’t tell if he had done it from anger, irritation, or frustration or if it was simply a habit of his.
When he climbed in the driver’s seat, I explained my reasoning, “There are only two kinds of people in his life: family and others.”
“Others?”
“Autistic individuals have difficulty differentiating people from things. Other people are things—props, if you would. They’re no more or less important than any object. But family? He holds family very close. The people who take care of hi
m are family, and the staff have very strict protocols for introducing any new personnel into his routine. The same goes for the rare times someone leaves. If Freddy thinks we’re together, you’ll become family. When you leave, that will cause chaos.”
“I respect your wishes even if I don’t understand.”
“It’s better if you never meet him, and trust me, you don’t want him grilling you with questions.”
“I don’t see why not. I’m very well versed in my heritage.”
“While I don’t doubt that, I would bet on Freddy over you any day. Once he decides to learn something, he learns everything about it. He’s encyclopedic in his knowledge.”
“I see.” He turned on the engine and gripped the steering wheel. The tendons on the backs of his arms stood out as he tightened his grip. “Don’t worry, Rowan,” he said with a sigh. “I respect your boundaries. In your shoes, I’d probably feel the same.”
“Thanks for understanding. And thank you for the endowment.” My thanks sounded pathetic, but I had to say something.
He grinned. “You’re welcome.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to. Besides”—his lips quirked up—“it looks good for my philanthropy.”
“Is that all it was?”
“You know better than that. I take care of what’s mine.”
My throat closed up with that one word. We were officially alone, together, and for the next year, I belonged to him.
“Um…”
He laughed. “Relax. I have a surprise and dinner planned. We still have much to discuss, but until then, how about we try to enjoy the evening?”
“More of a surprise than the endowment? What’s the surprise?”
He grinned. “Now, what kind of surprise would it be if I told you?”
The drive back to town took less than an hour. Rather than talk about the big elephant sitting between us, we played a game of favorite songs. He gave me his phone and access to his music. Behind us, the sun dipped beneath the hills, and the blanket of night crept across the sky.
In the darkness, I relaxed, not realizing how tense I’d been. Richard did that to me. His presence set me on high alert, but then he started talking about the things he liked—in this case, music—and I forgot about the circumstances that had brought us together.
The Fidelity World- Nondisclosure Page 11