‘Go ahead,’ Mae said. ‘Enjoy.’
‘Oh, I will,’ Willow said, giving a happy little squeal and rubbing her hands together. She practically leapt off the stool and scurried out of the room and up the stairs.
‘She’s a strange lady,’ Hannah whispered once the footsteps on the stairs had faded away.
‘Is she?’ Mae asked. She quite liked their new guest. She was down to earth and friendly and Mae had enjoyed having adult company that evening, having somebody to share a meal with whose conversations didn’t revolve around animated TV characters, Shopkin figures, and their desperate need to adopt a scruffy cat. Of course she loved Hannah with every cell in her body, but she sometimes craved grown-up companionship and, although she usually had a house full of people, being a single mum could be lonely at times.
‘I hate having a bath,’ Hannah said as an explanation of Willow’s weirdness. She wrinkled her nose to illustrate her distaste. ‘It’s all wet and you get wrinkly fingers and you make me wash my face.’
‘Don’t you want to be clean?’ Mae asked and Hannah gave a firm shake of her head.
‘I like being dirty and smelly.’
‘But your friends at school wouldn’t like sitting next to you if you were stinky.’
Hannah shrugged her shoulders. ‘It’s the summer holidays. I don’t need a bath until I go back to school.’
Mae laughed and crossed the kitchen so she could pull her daughter in close, sniffing her raspberry-and-apple-scented hair. ‘Not going to happen, little lady. Everybody has to have a bath.’
‘Chilly doesn’t have to,’ Hannah said.
‘Chilly?’ Mae frowned. ‘From Doc McStuffins? Well, no, he doesn’t have to have a bath because he’s a stuffed toy. He might sometimes have to go in the washing machine, though.’
Hannah dropped her little face into her hands and shook her head. ‘Not that Chilly. Our Chilly.’
‘Who?’ Mae didn’t know any other Chilly.
‘The cat. I named him Chilly.’
‘No, no, no.’ Mae shook her head and folded her arms across her chest. ‘No, Hannah, you are not naming that cat. He isn’t our cat, and never will be. Get that idea out of your head right now.’ She was about to explain the reasons behind her anti-cat stance, mainly that she was too busy looking after Hannah and working two jobs to take on another dependent, when the door opened and their second guest stepped into the room, her cheeks flushed from the cooler evening.
‘Did you find what you were looking for?’ Mae asked Melody, who’d explained earlier about the view she’d been hoping to capture from the clifftop. It had been Mae who’d pointed her in the direction of the right path.
Melody picked up her camera, which was, as ever, looped around her neck. ‘I think so.’
‘You don’t sound too sure,’ Mae said.
Melody ran her thumb over the power switch, but didn’t switch the camera on. ‘It’s just…’ She shook her head and flopped onto one of the chairs at the table. ‘I’m sure I’ve taken some beautiful photos, but I don’t think I’ve quite got the one yet. I thought I’d know. That I’d feel it.’
‘And you haven’t yet?’
Melody shook her head. ‘I can’t have.’
‘Maybe you’ll find it tomorrow,’ Mae said. ‘You’ll have the whole day to explore. Clifton-on-Sea really is a wonderful place.’ Despite being eager to escape in her teens, Mae had grown to appreciate the town’s positive points and wouldn’t have wanted to bring her daughter up anywhere else.
‘Do you know anything about Chapel Cove?’ Melody asked and Mae nodded.
‘It’s quite a bit off the usual tourist routes, but it’s a lovely little place. There isn’t much there – no arcades or pubs – but it’s great if you want a bit of peace and quiet.’ Mae smiled, her mind wandering away to memories of long ago. ‘Or if you’re a teenager wanting a bit of time away from your parents. I had my first kiss behind the tearoom that used to be there.’
Hannah screwed up her face and stuck her tongue out. ‘Eww, mu-um. Kissing’s yucky.’
‘It is, isn’t it?’ Melody agreed. ‘Boys should keep their lips to themselves.’
Hannah gave a solemn nod. ‘Riley Watson-White tried to kiss me once. It. Was. Horrible.’ She stuck out her tongue again. ‘So I stamped on his foot and ran away.’
‘You go, girl.’ Melody raised the palm of her hand and Hannah giggled as their palms made contact in a high five.
‘Alfie wants to kiss Mummy, but she won’t let him either,’ Hannah said, which made Mae’s eyes widen. ‘I don’t think she’s stamped on his foot, though.’ Hannah looked to her mum for confirmation, but Mae was too gobsmacked to speak.
‘Ooh, I sense a bit of juicy gossip.’ Melody leaned forward in her chair. ‘Come on, spill.’
Mae shook her head. ‘There’s nothing to tell. There’s certainly been no kissing.’
‘But he does like you?’
Mae wasn’t really comfortable discussing her love life – what little of it there was to discuss – in front of her daughter, so she decided to engineer a swift subject change.
‘We’re just friends.’ She turned and pulled open a drawer, grabbing a couple of teaspoons. ‘Cup of tea?’
‘I’d love one,’ Melody said, but, from her tone, Mae knew the subject of Alfie hadn’t been swerved. She remained silent as she made the drinks, hoping Melody would have forgotten about it by the time she was finished. To make sure the topic moved on, she created a new one as soon as she placed the mugs down on the table.
‘So, your photos…’ She dropped into a neighbouring chair, avoiding eye contact with Melody. ‘You said you wanted to capture British seaside moments for a photography project, but you didn’t go into detail.’
‘Didn’t I?’ Melody started to fiddle with her camera, turning it over in her fingers. ‘I guess I’ve just always enjoyed the beach and want to show why.’
‘But what’s the project for?’ Mae asked. ‘Yourself? Or something professional?’
Melody removed the camera from around her neck, setting it down on her lap. ‘I’m thinking of entering them into a festival. You get to display your work – possibly even sell it – and enter a couple of competitions.’
‘Wow, that sounds exciting,’ Mae said. ‘Good luck!’
Melody returned the camera to its position around her neck. ‘Thanks, but I don’t think I’ve got much chance of winning.’
‘Why not?’
She shrugged. ‘I’m not a professional photographer or anything. It’s just something I do for fun. The other people taking part will be really talented.’
‘And who says you’re not really talented too?’
Melody shrugged again. ‘I don’t really show my photos to people, so I haven’t had much feedback.’ Melody glanced up from her camera, her eyes flicking around the room. ‘I really love this house. Have you always wanted to run a B&B?’
Mae spotted the blatant conversation swerve, but she let it pass as Melody was obviously as reluctant to discuss her photography as Mae was to chat about Alfie.
‘It’s been my dream ever since I was a little girl. My mum and I stayed in one when I was a bit older than Hannah. We didn’t go far – only a short train ride away to Blackpool – but I loved it. The couple who ran the B&B were so nice and I got to share a big bed with Mum. Mum and Dad had been arguing a lot back then, so it was nice to get away, just the two of us. Not long after, Dad moved out and it was just the two of us all the time, but it wasn’t the same. Mum was obviously sad and I was confused about why my dad wasn’t there any more, so that time away at the bed and breakfast felt almost magical. The feeling stayed with me, and I dreamed of running my own, even though it never seemed possible. Then, when I inherited this house and moved in with Hannah, it seemed like the ideal solution. I needed to work around Hannah’s needs, so it seemed like a good idea to let out the spare rooms. That was three years ago and I’m so glad I
decided to go for it. I love it.’ Mae felt a shiver of happiness. She didn’t stop to appreciate the business she’d created enough, didn’t congratulate herself on a job well done. ‘I love meeting new people and feel like I’m making their holidays that bit more special. I can’t imagine doing anything else.’
‘I feel that way about photography,’ Melody said. ‘But I’ve never been brave enough.’
‘It’s tough to allow yourself to reach for your dreams sometimes,’ Mae said. ‘And I won’t pretend I wasn’t terrified of making a mess of everything, but sometimes you’ve just got to take that leap of faith, to believe in yourself and go for it. They say you only regret the things you don’t do and I agree.’
Melody nodded, toying with her camera once more. ‘I guess.’
‘You’re already taking the first steps towards your dream,’ Mae said. ‘By entering the photo festival, you’re putting yourself – and your work – out there. So you’re braver than you think.’
Mae felt like a bit of a fraud as she spoke those words. How could she encourage anyone to be brave when she lacked courage herself? Yes, she’d been brave with the bed and breakfast, but she shied away where it really mattered. Was she brave when she laughed and chatted with the strangers occupying her spare rooms before crawling into an empty bed, trying her best to ignore the vast space beside her? When she caught a glimpse of tenderness between Frank and Corinne – a hand on the small of a back, a hand held in the other’s, a cheek resting on a shoulder – and yearned to share that closeness again? When she sat in the family room, on her own, with the whole evening stretching ahead of her, pretending she enjoyed her own company? She managed to hide behind the persona she’d created most of the time, but during those moments the mask slipped and the courage seeped away. Rather than feeling brave, she was afraid. But mostly, she was lonely.
Chapter Thirteen
Willow
The warm, bubbly water was glorious as Willow submerged herself up to her chin. She couldn’t believe quite how much she’d missed a simple bath and how luxurious it now felt as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax. She pushed all thoughts of the house and the latest argument with Ethan from her mind and concentrated only on the slow breaths as her body unwound and unknotted itself.
Not wanting to hog the bathroom for too long, Willow dragged herself from the tub, wrapping herself in the towel she’d left warming on the radiator. Having a towel that wasn’t covered in a thin layer of dust only added to the luxury.
Still wrapped in the towel, she scurried to her room to dry off and change into her pyjamas. She noticed a missed call from Ethan on her phone so, after securing her damp hair into loose plaits either side of her head, she settled herself on the bed and returned the call.
‘Hey,’ her husband said, his voice heavy and weary. ‘Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. How is everything?’
Willow had updated Ethan about the housing situation through text messages over the course of the day, but this was the first time they’d spoken since Liam had dropped the bombshell that morning. She relayed everything she could remember, trying to keep the rising panic from her voice.
‘So, it’s bad,’ Ethan concluded.
‘Really bad.’ Willow closed her eyes, imagining Ethan was sitting in the same room as her. She’d be able to deal with this whole situation a lot better if he were here with her. The argument last night – all of the arguments they’d had lately – didn’t matter. ‘Liam says we need to get a surveyor in to take a look before they get started. It’s something to do with building regulations, but Liam said he’d sort it and get back to me.’
There was a sigh at the other end of the line, and Willow braced herself. ‘This is going to cost thousands.’
‘I know.’
‘We don’t have thousands,’ Ethan said. ‘Everything’s already gone into the house. There’s nothing left.’
Maybe we shouldn’t have bought this house.
‘We’ll figure something out,’ Willow said, but her voice lacked any sort of conviction because she didn’t have a clue how they would ever claw their way out of this mess. How they’d get back on track. She lay back on the bed, her eyes squeezed shut. She missed Ethan and wished he was back home. Being apart didn’t feel right. It was as though there was something missing; nothing as dramatic as a limb, but more like when you’ve gone out without your phone or a watch and you’re slightly confused about what time it is. It was an odd feeling and not one Willow was familiar with.
‘I’d better go,’ Ethan said all too soon.
‘I miss you.’ Willow’s grip tightened on the phone, as though she could keep hold of Ethan for longer that way. ‘When will you be home?’
‘I don’t know,’ Ethan said, and her heart sank. She wanted him to say he was on his way, right now, that he’d be back in a couple of hours. ‘I’ll phone you in the morning, okay?’
‘Okay.’ Willow sat up, the phone still pressed to her ear. ‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’ There was another sigh down the line. ‘We’ll get through this, Willow. We’ve faced worse.’
Hanging up, Willow grabbed her robe and threaded her arms through the sleeves, securing the belt around her waist. She’d heard voices downstairs when she emerged from the bathroom, laughter drifting up the stairs, so although she was sleepy after her bath, she thought she’d pop down for a few minutes before crawling into bed.
‘Did you enjoy your bath?’ Mae asked as Willow stepped into the kitchen. She and Melody were sitting at the table while Hannah watched from her position perched on a stool at the breakfast bar.
‘I did, thanks.’ Willow conjured a convincing smile. ‘It was just what I needed after the day I’ve had. It was so relaxing, I almost fell asleep.’
‘Speaking of sleep,’ Mae said, standing and ruffling Hannah’s hair. ‘It’s past your bedtime.’
‘But it’s the school holidays,’ Hannah grumbled.
‘I know, but you’re going to Corinne and Frank’s tomorrow. You don’t want to be too sleepy for your day out, do you?’
The little girl shrugged, still not moving from the stool.
‘Come on.’ Mae held out a hand. ‘Let’s go and read a story.’
Hannah reached for the hand, but hesitated before making contact. ‘Do I have to brush my teeth first?’
‘What do you think, little lady?’ Mae asked, which caused Hannah to emit a heavy sigh before she slipped down from the stool and trudged up the stairs. Willow watched them leave before turning to Melody with a wry smile.
‘Do you remember when trying to get out of brushing your teeth was your biggest problem?’
Melody nodded, twisting the strap from her camera round and round her index finger. ‘You think life is so unfair, but you have no idea.’
‘None at all,’ Willow agreed. ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to have that innocence back?’
‘If only.’ Melody unravelled the strap and wriggled the blood flow back into her finger. ‘Things were much simpler back then. Easier. Being a grown-up actually sucks.’
Willow nodded and laughed. ‘Why were we so desperate to grow up?’
‘I don’t know about you, but I was desperate to be grown-up so I could marry Freddie Prinze Jr.’
‘It was Jordan Knight for me.’ Willow smiled at the memory of her New Kids On The Block crush. ‘We were going to get married and have five babies who would form a pop band when they were teenagers.’ She sighed dramatically. ‘Didn’t happen.’
‘You did get married, though,’ Melody said. ‘And there’s still time to squeeze out your pop band.’ Melody winced and crossed her legs. ‘Five, though? Makes me want to swear off sex for ever.’
Willow sat down at the table and rested her chin on her hand. ‘I don’t know about that. I can’t wait until Ethan comes back home. It’s weird sleeping on my own.’
‘Try being single for nearly a year,’ Melody said with a sigh.
‘I think I’ve forgotten how everything works.’ She caught Willow’s eye and they both giggled.
‘You’ve seriously been single for nearly a year?’ Willow asked. ‘How? You’re gorgeous.’
Melody batted away the compliment with a wave of her hand. ‘I haven’t really been interested in starting anything new after my last boyfriend.’ Melody picked up her mug and drained the last of her tea. ‘How long have you and Ethan been married?’
‘We had our five-year anniversary last month.’ Willow couldn’t help smiling as she thought about the day they’d spent together. Gary had been relatively new at the shop, but he’d assured Willow he could cope on his own for the afternoon, so she and Ethan had spent a precious few hours together. With every spare bit of cash going towards the house, they hadn’t been able to partake in anything too costly, so they’d simply enjoyed their local surroundings, taking on the role of tourists as they made their way along the promenade, stopping off at the pier and arcade before enjoying fish and chips on the beach, just as they had on their wedding day. They’d put aside their problems for the afternoon and had fun together for a change. It had been perfect.
‘I’ve never even been in a relationship that lasted that long,’ Melody said.
‘You’re still young. I didn’t get together with Ethan until I was a little bit older than you. There’s plenty of time.’ Willow covered another yawn with the palm of her hand. The day was really taking its toll now.
Mae returned to the kitchen once Hannah was tucked up in bed and washed and dried the mugs. The light through the French doors was starting to diminish as the sky darkened, so Melody suggested they move through to the cosy living room.
The Little Bed & Breakfast by the Sea Page 9