by J K Ashley
She’s smiling at me from the passenger seat, but my gut is telling me something’s wrong. She does look ill, so I don’t think she’s lying to me, not that Rachael would lie to me anyway. She’s very pale and her cheeks are red and blotchy. She keeps fidgeting and twitching and when I look close enough I see that her hands are shaking.
I don’t want to overexert her these next few days, if she really is sick. We had plans to go up north but I can’t drag her through that in good faith when she’s looking like this. She really does need rest, and a road trip this evening isn’t going to give her that.
“I’ll cancel our plans,” I say, already flipping open my phone as I drive down the road. I scan the rearview mirror to make sure there’s no police officers around to pull me over.
“No, don’t do that,” Rachael insists next to me. “Really, I’m fine. I’ll just sleep in the car and then we can have an amazing two days together.” She leans towards me and I smell the sweet scent of her perfume. “Really, James.”
“No.” I shake my head, peering at the road. “It’s alright. We can stay in, watch some movies at home. I wont’ go back to work. It’ll just be the two of us.”
I’d found a nice little cabin while Rachael was gone and rented it out, but I call them and cancel with an apology. The rest of the drive home is in silence, and I know Rachael’s upset with me. But I know this is for the best. Now we can both stay home with no stress and she can get better without a problem. There’s no use adding undue stress, especially with the wedding plans going on.
James
I watch Rachael ad we make our way up to the house. She has a distant, lost look in her eyes, and it bothers me. I don’t know what to make of it. She fumbles with the keys in the front door and I have to take them from her, opening the front door and ushering her inside. She settles onto the couch with a heavy sigh and stares blankly at the far wall. Her mind is elsewhere, and wherever she is I can’t get to her.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” I ask, breaking her reverie.
She looks at me in surprise, blinking. “Oh, yes.”
“You seem upset.”
“No, no,” Rachael says with a shaky smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just distracted because of all the wedding preparations, that’s all.”
As soon as she stops speaking, her eyes gloss over again and she stares at the far wall. I’ve never seen her like this before, and it’s unsettling. I’ve always been able to connect to Rachael without a problem. But now here she is, staring off into the distance. It’s like an immense wall has been constructed between us, one I have no hope of scaling. I can only sit here dumbly on the other side and wonder what it is that’s going on in her head.
I feel like she’s not being entirely truthful with me, but I decide to go along with her story. No use trying to force anything out of her when she’s in this state.
“That does sound stressful,” I finally say. I settle down on the couch beside her and she blinks at me, brought out of her stupor yet again. She offers me a small smile before leaning into me, burrowing her head into the crook of my neck. I breathe in the sweet scent of her hair deeply. “I’m sorry you’ve had to take so much onto your shoulders. But it’ll all be worth it in the end, right?”
I feel her nodding against me. “Yeah,” she says softly. “It’ll all be worth it to walk down that aisle and see you in your handsome suit, and to call you my husband.”
The sentiment behind her words is nice, but the emotion behind them just isn’t there. It just sounds like she’s reciting nonsense, like she’s not actually thinking of what she’s saying.
“Yup,” I agree, ignoring the twinge deep in my gut. “Before we know if we’ll be married together and then we can concentrate on our honeymoon. We’ll be off on an exotic island in the middle of the Caribbean, and there won’t be an ounce of stress there. Just you and me, baby.” I rub her shoulder and squeeze her tighter against me.
We lay there for a while, just sitting in each other’s silence. But then Rachael sits back up and gets to her feet, still with that faraway look in her eye.
“I’m going to bed,” she says. “I’m still not feeling well, so maybe a good night’s sleep will do me some good. See you in the morning?”
I nod, and she bends down to give me a peck on the cheek. I watch her as she walks to the bedroom.
She hasn’t been gone more than a few minutes when the couch vibrates beneath me. I look to my right and see she’s left her phone. Lucy’s calling her. I reach for the phone and pick up.
“Hello? Lucy?”
“Who’s this?” Lucy asks, evidently surprised by the male voice on the other end. “James?”
“Yup, that’s me,” I say, laughing. “Sorry, Rach just went to bed. You missed her.”
“Aw, damn,” Lucy says, and I hear her sigh heavily on the other end of the line. “I really wanted to talk to her, make sure she’s alright.”
My stomach twists inside of me, but then I push the doubts away. Lucy probably knows Rachael wasn’t feeling well, it’s nothing more than that.
“She’s okay, just feeling a little under the weather,” I say. “Did she eat something bad at the reunion?”
Lucy is silent on the other end. “No,” she said slowly. “Did she not tell you?”
That sick feeling in my stomach is back. So something was going on, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why Rachael wouldn’t just tell me. It’s not like she has anything to hide . . . or does she? We tell each other everything.
“No, she didn’t tell me anything.” I realize my voice sounds hard and serious, so I clear my throat. “Is something wrong? I don’t mean to pry, really. I just want to make sure everything’s alright with Rachael. She’s seemed off since she got back from the reunion, like she’s in another world. I can’t get through to her.”
“Sounds about right,” Lucy said wryly. “That’s how she was most of high school, when he was around.”
“He?” My heart is thumping in my chest. Another man? “Who are you talking about? Someone I should know?”
“You already know about him.” Lucy sighs again. “Really, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. But if you really want to know . . . John Keeton is back in town.”
Now there’s no hope of calming my racing pulse. John Keeton? Really?
“Ah.” I don’t know what else to say, and silence stretches between us awkwardly on the line. “Okay,” I finally continue. “Thanks for telling me, Lucy. I’ll make sure Rachael’s alright. I’ll tell her to give you a call tomorrow. She’s pretty beat right now.”
“Sure thing!” Lucy’s voice is chipper again. “Have a good night, James.”
I hang up the phone and sit on the couch for a few more moments. I flip on the TV and end up watching for hours, anything to keep my mind blank. Before I know it the sun is setting and my eyes are sliding closed.
I get to my feet and pace into the bedroom, grabbing my clothing and bringing them to the bathroom to change after I brush my teeth. My mind is racing. I go through the motions of getting ready for bed mechanically, unable to focus.
I know who John Keeton is. Rachael never speaks about him, but she did tell me about him briefly when we started dating and were still getting to know each other’s romantic histories. All I know is he was a guy from high school, which normally wouldn’t matter. But he was the only serious relationship she had before me, and he messed her up pretty bad. He went off to study abroad come college, and just stopped speaking to her without any sort of explanation. Dropped off the face of the earth after years of being in a relationship, and it completely broke her. She stayed away from guys for a while after that, and even now I can still see how its affected her. She’s very reserved and doesn’t always like to open up.
John is back for a reason. I have no doubts about that. From the little bit I’ve heard about him, I can’t imagine he didn’t approach Rachael at the reunion. The thought of him looking at her and speaking to her
makes me shudder. More worrisome, however, is how much he’s clearly affected her. She’s acting like a completely different person just from seeing him today, after all these years.
Does she still have feelings for him?
I shake the thoughts away and finish up in the bathroom. When I return to the bedroom Rachael is lying peacefully, breathing softly. I clamber into bed beside her and cover us both in blankets. I watch her as she sleeps soundly, and trace a finger over the curve of her cheekbone. She doesn’t stir.
John is back for a reason, of that I’m sure. But I won’t let that worry me. John can try to get Rachael back all he wants, but it’ll never work. I refuse to let that man come between Rachael and I.
We’re getting married. We’re in love.
The next morning, I wake to my phone ringing shrilly on the night stand. I groan and look at the clock. It’s 7 A.M. This had better be an emergency.
Turns out, it was an emergency of sorts. Rachael groans and claps the pillow over her ears as I try to talk as quietly as possible. Work is calling me in for an urgent meeting, though they won’t tell me the exact circumstances over the phone. Some sort of financial crisis, I assume.
“Baby,” I whisper, rolling towards Rachael and looping an arm around her waist. I drag her back to me. “I have to go into work. I’m sorry, it’ll be quick.”
“That’s alright,” she mumbles into her pillow. “I was thinking of going to my parents for a while anyways.”
I get up and get ready. Once I’m done, Rachael and I both clamber into the car and I drive her to her parents. She seems in better spirits, but I can’t be sure. I kiss her on the lips and she hops out of the car after I promise to pick her back up on my way home.
My drive to work is full of thoughts of her. This is the most inconvenient time to be called into work, when she needs me. I just want to be by her side.
The meeting drags by. I find myself drifting away in my thoughts more than once, and have to snap myself back to attention so as not to make a fool of myself in front of my colleagues. The meeting drags on for four whole hours, and it takes everything in my power not to bang my head against the desk.
Finally, the meeting draws to a close. All our financials have been put in order and I’m gloriously free for the rest of the day and hopefully all of tomorrow, unless another terribly inconvenient business emergency arises. I cross my fingers as I bid farewell to everyone in the meeting room, waiting for them all to file out as I gather my papers together. Then it’s my turn to leave, and I couldn’t be happier.
I head back to my office, smiling and nodding at my secretary as I pop inside to gather my things. I get my briefcase together and shrug on my suit jacket, before checking around to make sure everything is in order. I hate to leave my desk and mess, and everything must be in its proper place. Cleanliness helps keep me organized and on track, and if I leave my desk a mess I’ll think about it all evening. I want to think about Rachael, not my dumb desk.
My good spirits plummet, however, as soon as I step out of my office. My secretary is speaking to a man. He looks about my age, maybe a year or two younger. He’s very tall, taller than me. His auburn hair has been swept to the side and he has a five o’clock shadow. He looks over at me and his grey eyes harden.
I know this man, though it takes a moment for me to recognize him. Rachael never pointed him out to me, but in a moment of madness I snooped through her high school yearbook and found John’s photo. This is the man she was so upset about last night, the man that emotionally destroyed her all those years ago.
John Keeton stands before me, and he’s asking for my fiancé.
“Can you tell me where to find Rachael Lawson?” John says, turning back to the woman behind the desk. “I’d like to speak to her, please. We know each other from way back.”
“I’m afraid she’s not in today.” She looks over her shoulder at me, eyes wide and pleading. John is being quite persistent. He leans forward and plants his hands on her desk.
“Everything alright, Genna?” I stride forward and place a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. I feel her relax immediately.
John is staring at me with those stony eyes again. He’s an intimidating man, mostly due to his height. But he has this presence that just emanates from him, one that tells everyone and anyone that he’s a man who gets what he wants.
“This man is looking for your fiancé.” Genna turns to look up at me. “I’ve told him she’s out.”
“Ah, yes,” I turn to him, trying to force a smile which he does not return. “Rachael’s not in today. She’s feel under the weather. May I take a message?”
He doesn’t speak for a moment, instead choosing to stare at me with a hard expression. I fight the urge to look away and shift my feet uncomfortably. I will not be intimidated by this man—this man from Rachael’s past who thinks he can just waltz back into her life after discarding her years ago.
Genna coughs nervously. I sigh. This is making her uncomfortable as well, and that’s not right.
“Would you like to step into my office?” I ask John, turning back to him with a gracious smile on my face. “I’d like to have a word with you.”
Chapter Five
I close the door behind John, and he paces forward into my office. He looks around, observing the place that I work with an unassuming gaze. Then he settles himself into the chair before my desk without being asked, and props an ankle on his knee.
I circle around my desk, but I don’t sit. I look down on him and clear my throat.
“What is your name?” I ask, deciding to feign ignorance of his identity. I think I’ve done a pretty good job so far pretending I don’t know who he is, so I decide to keep it up. Perhaps he’ll get spooked.
“John,” he says slowly, narrowing his eyes at me. “John Keeton. I was a close friend of Rachael’s back in high school.”
Friend. I scoff inwardly, but my face remains neutral.
“Interesting,” I say in response. I fiddle with the cuffs of my suit. “Rachael is my fiancé.”
“The pretty little girl out front already said so, yes,” John says, throwing a look over his shoulder. My blood boils—what a pig.
“And I already know that you were more than just friends with Rachael,” I say, suddenly deciding to drop the ruse. He’s getting to me, I know he is. I’ve never liked rich pretty boys like him, who swagger around as if they rule the world. He’s got a smug air about him that I just can’t stand. Even looking at him raises my blood pressure, and it’s already making me make rash decisions.
“Ah, you’ve caught me.” John throws up his hands in mock surrender, a grin twisted across his stupid face. Now it’s my turn to narrow my eyes at him.
“Did you really think you could find her here?” I ask, shifting my weight so that I’m leaning against the side of my office chair. “Or that I wouldn’t recognize you?”
“Well, to be fair,” John says, still smirking. “I didn’t do a whole lot of research. I knew she was getting married but I didn’t know I’d find the man she’s marrying at her place of work.”
“Well, you did.” My voice is hard and cold. “And you aren’t going find her here, because you’re not going to come back. I don’t know what you want with Rachael, but I don’t like it.”
“It’s too bad that your opinion wasn’t asked,” John drawled. He looked down at his hand, twisting a fat ring around his finger over and over. “I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do about it if Rachael wants me back—“ he looks down at my name tag, sitting atop my desk. “—James.”
“Wants you back?” My voice is rising but I can do nothing to stop it. I grab onto the back of my office chair and clench it tightly, so that my knuckles go white. John’s eyes trail down to my hands and his smile grows, so I quickly let go.
“We were very close, you know,” John says. “I’ve come to get her back, and I usually get what I want. I’m really sorry if this is an inconvenience for you.”
He clear
ly isn’t sorry. He sits there before me, his smile growing wider and wider with every second that passes. I’m flabbergasted, completely floored. What kind of person just waltzes in here says that to someone? His confidence and brutally uncaring attitude is frightening, to say the least. He’s intimidating in a way I’ve never experienced before. I can’t imagine Rachael ever dating someone like this.
I frown down at him, and he continues to smile widely.
“That’s not going to happen, John,” I say. “I don’t know what you think is going to happen here, but Rachael’s not just going to get up and walk away from me. She’s not going to go back to the likes of you. Do you know what you did to her? Really, do you?”
John doesn’t respond. He just continues to stare.
“You messed her up. I know you weren’t around to see how you affected her, but I was. Even now I see the signs of it. She doesn’t trust people easily. She doesn’t show her feelings. She doesn’t put herself out there. And that’s all because of you, John.”
John shakes his head.
“Don’t do that,” I snap. My fingers flex, looking for something to grasp on to. “You’re living in a delusion, and you need to move on. Rachael’s tried very hard to move on from you, and I’m not going to let you destroy that. She loves me, and I love her. We’re in love. We’re getting married. She’s not going to let a low-life like you walk back into her life and destroy everything she’s worked for over the years.”
“You seem awful defensive for such a confident guy,” John muses. He gets to his feet and plants his fists onto my desk.
“Don’t forget where you are,” I warn him. “It’s not gonna do you any good to start trouble here. I’ll have you kicked out in an instant.”
“You stupid prick,” John spits. He’s finally lost his cool, and the realization sends a shiver of accomplishment down my spine. “I can’t wait to see the look on your face when I get what I want. Because I will have her, mark my words. She’ll resist at first. She won’t want to speak to me or see me. But she’ll go to sleep every night with my face on her brain, my voice whispering in her ear. She’ll leave you before the wedding, mark my words.”