“What’s that?” I ask Debra.
She turns back to face me. “That’s the sound of your baby’s heartbeat.”
“It’s so fast.”
“That’s normal.” She switches a few buttons below the monitor and looks around. She smiles at me and points to the screen. “That’s your baby right there.”
“Where? I don’t see anything.” She zooms in on the picture some more and I see it. “That’s the baby?” I ask in amazement.
“Yep, this is the head and this is the body.”
Enthralled by the sonogram, I don’t remember Nick is there until he gives my hand a little squeeze. He’s smiling down at me when I look up.
“That’s our baby,” he says.
“Yeah. We’re having a baby,” I say, still amazed at what I’m seeing.
Here comes trouble. A lot of trouble.
Cat
“You still upset with me?” Nick asks, pulling a piece of my hair down between two of his fingers to get my attention while he’s driving.
“Yes and no.”
“Cat, a stranger walks in, tells you to spread your legs, pulls out a condom, and I’m supposed to be cool with it? Yeah sure, go ahead play all up in it.”
“He was perfectly professional. You were overreacting. He couldn’t get out of the room fast enough.”
“Try to understand it from my point of view. If he was a doctor I could deal, I wouldn’t be happy, but I could deal with it.”
“In the hour you were there the whole hospital heard about your antics.”
He stops the car at a red light and leans his head back.
“Be honest, you weren’t a little uncomfortable with him down there? Be honest.”
I was, but he doesn’t need to know that. I already see where this is going. He’s going to try to pick my doctor for me, tell me what to do, and when to do it. And that is not acceptable, he needs to understand I’m not going to fall at his feet and do everything he wants me to do because he thinks it’s what’s best for me and this baby. I have a mind of my own and I am perfectly capable of making those decisions with or without him.
“You don’t have to answer, you taking so long to answer is the answer to my question.”
“Thanks to you threatening lawsuits and embarrassing me, I won’t be going back there again.”
“Damn right you won’t,” he mumbles, thinking I don’t hear him.
He’s starting already. I need to put a stop to this before he gets carried away. We pull into the parking garage of his building. I agreed to stay at his place for the next couple of days because I needed someone to keep an eye on me at least overnight. I spoke to the doctor again and he said it wasn’t necessary for someone to stay with me continuously for forty-eight hours. I told Nick I would be fine but he wouldn’t let me go home by myself. He threatened to call my family and tell them the whole story if I didn’t go home with him. He basically blackmailed me into going home with him, and didn’t feel any shame about it. It got him what he wanted as usual.
“You need help getting out?”
“I’m not handicapped, I can manage to get out of a car without your help.” I’m copping a major attitude. I know he’s trying to be helpful, but him threatening to call my family, spending all day in the hospital, and the biggest issue of all: finding out I’m pregnant, has caught up to me. I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed by it all.
He opens his door and I put my hand on his arm, stopping him. I put my head against the headrest, closing my eyes, and trying to calm down before I burst into tears.
He closes the door and I hear the concern in his voice as in the hospital. “You okay?”
Uncertain about a lot of things, my eyes turn to him misting up. “You really want to have this baby?”
He thinks about it before he answers and his eyes don’t leave mine. “Do you want to have this baby, Cat?”
I realize I’m asking him a question I haven’t thought about. This is the first time since the doctor told me that I’ve seriously thought about it. I don’t have to think hard. I don’t have to think about it at all. It’s not a choice, there is no choice.
“Yes.” His eyes change when he hears my answer.
“This baby is us, Cat. Something special we made, it wasn’t planned, and the best things never are. I wanted this baby the moment you said, ‘I’m pregnant.’ There wasn’t a doubt in my mind whose child this is. It’s ours.”
I’m all smiles on the inside. I knew, but it just feels better to hear it from him. As much as he’s driving me crazy and I don’t know how much I have truly forgiven him for his actions, it’s good to know I’m not the only one who wants this. I won’t be in this by myself. I’ll need all the support I can get to break this news to my family.
I watch his gaze go to my stomach. “Don’t think about anything else. Let’s get you upstairs. You need to rest, it’s been a long day for both of you.”
When we reach upstairs he tells me, “You can sleep in my room and I’ll sleep in the guest room.”
“I can’t do that,” I tell him. I am not taking no for an answer this time. He got his way all day, I had to have my way once. I can’t sleep in his bed without bringing up memories of the things we did there. I wouldn’t be able to sleep; I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep with him a few feet away. I’m still feeling the electricity from his hand moving down my bare leg in the hospital room, and him holding my hand during the sonogram. He hasn’t touched me since and that’s a good thing.
He ordered us food and I took a shower after we ate. I told him I was getting a headache before I went in and he knocked on the door ten times while I was in there. I think he thought I was going to pass out, hit my head, and drown. I had to scream at him to get the hell away from the door. He was annoying but I know it comes from concern for me, I can’t be mad at that.
We didn’t talk about the baby for the rest of the night. He sat in the room with me when I lay down on the bed and watched TV. We talked about random things like how I liked working at a conservative private Christian school and with the kids in my class. I told him he wouldn’t believe the things that came out of their mouths and their parents wouldn’t believe some of the things they tell me about what goes on in their homes. Occasionally I would feel him watching me, and when I would look up at him, his eyes wouldn’t move, he wasn’t trying to hide it. I fell asleep with him watching me looking at the TV, and God give me strength, but I wanted him to lay down next to me with his arms around me. My mind’s not sure how much I’ve forgiven him but my body doesn’t care. Jay would say, she’s a little sluttish when it comes to Nick.
Nick
I’ve been sitting here watching her sleep for hours. There’s nothing more I want to do than reach out and touch her. God, I want to kiss her in the worst way. She’s all I could think about for weeks and now she’s here sleeping under the same roof as me. I’m working with a limited amount of will power tinged with sexual frustration; from the moment my hand touched her today, I had to force myself to stop, otherwise I wouldn’t have.
She’s having my baby; it is unbelievably fucking amazing. Her family is going to flip the fuck out. Jay is going to try to kill me for real. I better watch my back; the day they find out I expect a bullet with my name on it to go flying past my head. Kate could be an even bigger problem, I know what she’s going to do when she finds out Cat is pregnant by me. There’s only one way things are going to go with her and I know exactly which way that is. Ballistic.
This situation with Cat is going to be different from Kate’s because I love this woman, I can’t get enough of her. I want a life with her. How am I going to convince her of that life with me? Too much history, too many bad memories, but I’m betting our good memories can push away most of the bad. This is my second chance, our second chance. I’m going to fight for it.
Cat
“Hmm…hmmm.” Who’s calling my name? Dazed, I open my eyes and see Nick standing over me with his suit open. I rub m
y eyes and stretch. He looks like he stepped out of my dream. Tall, dark, handsome, and rock hard ready to go.
“I’m leaving. I’m sorry I can’t stay with you, I wish I could.”
“I’ll be fine. You can’t stay home to babysit me when you have clients depending on you. You’re a partner at a major law firm, take your ass to work. I’m fine, I’m feeling better.”
He smiles and my heart does little pitter-patters at the picture he’s presenting. I wonder how many women lust after him at work.
“I’m going to call you every hour, answer your phone. If I can’t call you, Karen is going to call for me. If you don’t pick up we’re going to call on the house phone. If you’re going to the bathroom take the phone with you. If you don’t answer after ten minutes I’m dropping everything and coming straight over here.”
I blink up at him. “That’s crazy.”
“That’s called making sure you’re okay. I left breakfast for you on the table, please eat it. Don’t make me come back and find out you haven’t eaten. Eat something, feed my child.”
“Any more orders you want to throw at me, Mr. Alexander?” I find I’m a tad irritated at his dictation and at the same time holding back a smile.
Without touching me, he tugs the sheet down to my thighs and surveys my body shamelessly with a twinkle in his eyes. “Have a nice day, sweetheart.”
I pull the sheet back up to my waist to cover my bare legs from his amused view and try not to let his leering affect me. “You too, darling.”
He buttons his suit and walks out, head held high, smile on his face. “I will now.”
Incorrigible. When I hear the door close I brush my hair out of my face and get out of bed to see what he left for me to eat, more like ordered me to eat. He told me last night he doesn’t make breakfast in the morning, only coffee, no cream no sugar. I need sugar in my coffee, I look at my stomach as I walk to the kitchen. “Thanks to you I won’t be having none of that for the next seven months.” Looking up, I can’t believe my eyes. What did he do? It looks like he ordered everything on the breakfast menu. I don’t know what plate to uncover first. I can’t see the table, there’s so much food on it. I’ve barely been able to eat half a plate of food in a week and a half and he expects me to eat all this? I take off two covers. Turkey bacon and fried eggs, scrambled eggs, hash browns, and home fries. I cover that back. Can’t eat it…ugh. Next, dry cereal and oatmeal, no…that looks like something that’s going to come up if I keep looking at it. The next plate has more eggs: poached, Benedict, Florentine, Sunny-side up. What’s with all the eggs? I grimace and cover them back. It’s as if I found out I was pregnant and my gag reflex kicked into overdrive.
My phone rings and I see it’s Nick.
“Did you eat?” he asks.
“You just left. Gimme a break.”
“I left a while ago, you should be planning lunch by now.”
“Well maybe if you didn’t go overboard with all this food I would have eaten by now. I can’t eat too much. As I’ve recently noticed if my food has a strong odor and/or looks congealed or runny and slimy I can’t eat it, it’s going to make me gag.”
“I’m sure there is one thing there you can eat.”
“Unfortunately, you’ve met all the criteria for me being nauseated on this table.” I lift another lid and close it back quickly.
“I wasn’t sure what you wanted so I ordered one of everything. Try to eat something, when I call you back you should be finished with breakfast. Do I have to send my assistant over there with something else to make sure you eat?”
“NO.” I know he would do it, too.
“Good, I’ll be tied up with work, but expect Karen to call you throughout the day. Remember to take your phone with you wherever you go. Talk to you later.”
“All right, bye.” I hang up and look at the smorgasbord of food in front of me with a wary eye. There must be something here I can eat. I don’t want another trip to the hospital. Nick would lock me in here with an around-the-clock nurse to force-feed me. I’m going to give it another try; I sniff around the plates to see if I can find one thing that doesn’t make me feel like I have a knot in my chest that makes me keep trying to swallow it down. I lift the lid off the plate in the middle of the table. “Yes.” It’s toast and fruit with yogurt, perfect! I eat as much as I can and make some calls. The first call I make is to the school letting them know I’ll be out till Monday. The principal understands and tells me to take it easy. I tell her I will, but I’m not telling her I’m pregnant. She’ll want to know what’s in the air in that classroom. I’m starting to wonder myself. It’s fine for Mrs. Smith to be pregnant, but I’m pregnant, not in any type of relationship, along with the other salacious details of my situation working in a conservative Christian private school with inquisitive kindergartners. I’m going to have to hide this pregnancy from them as long as I can. I wonder if I can make my body cooperate with me and not show till the last day of school—that would be great, not likely though.
I think about calling Ava but I can’t keep doing this to her. She’s going to think I’m purposely getting myself into these impossible situations to keep her from leaving New York. I don’t know what she’s going to say when I tell her I’m pregnant. I’m sure it’s going to be better than what my parents will say. Not to mention Kate, if she hated me before she’s going to want nothing to do with me ever again. I’m going to be enemy number one on her people-she-hates list.
My life is moving right along from complicated to overwhelming chaos. My family finding out I slept with Nick was unbelievably painful; it put me on the outside looking in. I knew it would happen but I hadn’t expected it to hit me as hard as it did when they turned their backs on me. It hurt me way more than I thought it would. I still haven’t spoken to my father or Jay but I hear from my mother through Chris. She only says hello, and most of the time I think Chris tells me she said hi to make me feel better.
Deep in thought, I move my hands over my flat stomach. Nothing, I feel nothing, but you’re in there causing all sorts of trouble before you’re born. “You’re just like your daddy, turning my world upside down, and like him, I’m not going to be able to do anything but love you. You’re going to be my constant companion for the next couple of months. I’m feeling a little tired and nauseated thanks to you and this knot on my head. We need some fresh air…I have to start thinking in terms of “we” now. Nick would have a fit if I went outside but… I need some fresh air. I’m taking you to a special place I know you’ll love as much as I do.” I grab a blanket and a bottle of water and get in the elevator.
I open the door to the rooftop and it’s the same except at night it shines. I crack open the sliding glass door to let in a little fresh air and lie back on the chase with the covers pulled up around me. I love being surrounded by all these beautiful flowers, it’s a summer garden in winter. This was Nick’s and my place. I wonder if he’s been up here since the last time we were here together? Or with anyone else? He better not have. He said he wouldn’t bring another woman up here, this was our Garden of Eden. I know I shouldn’t be upset if he did because I’m the one that told him it was over but I would like to think this place means as much to him as it does to me. This was the place we made love, where he stole my heart, and ruined me for any other man. That night I thought I would never have a greater love than the love I have for him. The rest of that weekend was much like a sunshine lemon blueberry cake with icing, sweet and a bit tart.
I fall asleep with that thought on my mind. That’s why I’m dreaming about cake and ice cream, I’m hungry. I wake up with Nick gently rubbing his hand up and down my hip, giving me another craving that has nothing to do with food.
“Why are you home?” I mumble with my eyelids still heavy with sleep.
“You didn’t answer your phone. I was worried about you so I came home early.”
“I was only asleep for a few minutes. What time is it?”
“It’s after three.”
<
br /> I sit up, surprised. “It can’t be! I’ve been sleeping for three hours?”
“Apparently so. Karen said she’s been calling you and I was in court so I didn’t get her message that she couldn’t reach you. Where’s your phone?”
He strokes his hand up to my waist, I look down at his hand, and he pulls it back. I wish he didn’t. Being here with him, his hand on me, reminds me how I missed his touch. Stay strong, don’t give in, I remind myself. “I forgot it on the couch. I needed some air and I knew you wouldn’t want me walking around outside because I might step off the curb and faint from a whisper of wind.”
“Funny, smartass,” he mumbles with a slight smile.
“You didn’t have to leave work again for me. You should be at work, not worrying about me. I’m fine.”
“Don’t worry about me, I have work under control.”
“You should be worried about your cases, I’m sorry you had to come home for nothing.”
“Stop it,” he says, brushing some loose strands of my hair behind my ear. At the contact of his fingers against my skin, my eyes find his as gray as the sky. My hand touches his and we freeze in time in our Garden of Eden, transported back to the night he made love to me in this exact spot. His pull ever present and increasingly hard for me to resist. I want him to kiss me, but he doesn’t, he pulls back and stands, backing up a few steps from me. “Did you eat?”
I stand up and needlessly walk over to him to answer his question letting the moment between us pass. “No.”
“I’ll get you something to eat, then.” He walks to the elevator and I follow him like a lost puppy who is uncertain of the rise and fall of emotions inside me. When we’re apart I know what I should do but when we’re together and his eyes roam over me...with one touch, I’m uncertain in my ability to make the right decision to stay away from him.
Imperfections Come To Light (The Imperfection Series Book 2) Page 3