“Baby, I’m sorry.” I sound pitiful to my own ears. “It was never my intension to make you feel a single second of pain or regret. I was stupid, selfish, reckless, irresponsible, and so many other things. I know I wasn’t worthy of you but I’m going to change that. You deserve more but I need you to give me a chance to prove to you that I can at least try to be a better man for you. If you only knew how much I wish I could turn back time and erase every second of pain I caused you.” I move toward her when a tear rolls down her cheek. It breaks me to see her cry but I stop short when she raises her voice.
“Well, you can’t. I know what I said in the hospital but dammit, I’m still so...so...And now this, just as I was getting it together. Faith intervenes to let you back in, the bitch that she is,” she says, smiling through her frustration. “Damn, why can’t women resist you? They fall prey to those eyes, your rude but irresistible charm, and that mouth. Killer combinations.”
I’ll stand here for as long as it takes her to say everything she needs to say to me if it helps her. These are things she should have said to me that are long overdue. The anger and pain she’s feeling, I get it.
Tentatively, I move closer until I’m close enough to reach out and touch her, but I don’t. “Apparently there’s one woman that can resist me, the only woman. And she’s carrying my baby.” Her hand goes to her stomach, and I hesitantly place my hand over hers hoping she doesn’t push it away. Our eyes lock on to each other and I can see the resolve in hers. As much as I want her, I know she hasn’t fully forgiven me yet and I can’t blame her, but I’m not going to give up on us—not now.
Things have changed for us once again and I have to take a different approach with her this time around and keep following Ava’s advice. Along with subtle persistence and having faith she’ll let me back in. Let’s hope faith really is a bitch and she can’t resist me. “What are we going to do? You’re pregnant and we’re going to have a baby.”
“You and Kate lived your separate lives when you were going to have a child together but you discussed everything concerning the baby and you went to all her sonograms, right?” She moves her hand from her stomach, making mine fall away.
“Mmmhmmm, we did.” Shit, I remember saying something like this to Kate and now it’s coming back at me.
“I think we should do the same and if anything arises we’ll discuss it and figure it out as we go along.”
“If that’s what you want, sure, we’ll do it your way,” I say, bending down to get her bag to take her home. When we reach her and Ava’s apartment I give her a chaste kiss on the forehead, which I’m thankful she even lets me do.
Cat
I spend the next few weeks adjusting to the idea of being pregnant. I made an appointment for my first prenatal visit with Nick, which I admit wasn’t as bad as I thought. We went last week and my doctor said everything looked great. The all-day morning sickness should go away, it’s normal. Nick behaved himself this time, I made sure to give him a stern warning in the waiting room.
I told him if he questioned my OB once about his qualifications as an OB/GYN I would change doctors and he wouldn’t come to another appointment with me again. He fell in line. He didn’t need to ask questions anyway because I already knew he checked him out thoroughly. Bonus, I didn’t think about Kate and him once during the exam, I spend enough time worrying about Kate and my family already.
We talked about the baby and we both agreed it would be best not to tell anyone until after my first trimester, and by then Ava would be back. Surprisingly, Nick didn’t have anything to say to me about seeing Matt and the only time we saw each other was at my prenatal visit but he does call. I’m spending a fair amount of time with Matt since I left Nick’s house. I didn’t tell him I was with Nick or that I passed out and went to the hospital. I couldn’t do that without telling him I was pregnant; in a few short weeks I’ll tell him and let him decide what he wants to do. Until then I’m going to give us a chance and see if what I feel for him can turn into something more. If it does, it would be a welcomed change. If it doesn’t…well, at least I’ll know I gave it a shot. Although being with Matt would make things somewhat easier when it’s time to break the news of my pregnancy to my family.
Matt and I are going to the movies tonight. I open the door to him smiling at me, looking very nice, and making me smile back when he says, “Baby girl, you’re gorgeous as usual.”
Which makes me think of those damn sweat pants Nick gave me for Christmas. I quickly put the thought out of my mind. “Thank you, you’re not looking bad yourself. Come in, let me change my shoes and I’ll be ready.”
“Take your time, I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes,” he says, closing the door.
“That’s nice of you but it won’t take me long.”
“I wasn’t talking about that. Something’s changed in the last two weeks.”
“Has it?” I say, feigning ignorance.
He brushes a finger against my arm and nods. “Yes, and I like this change in direction in our relationship. You know how I feel about you and I want to be more than a friend but I don’t want to rush you.”
“You’re not rushing me. I like to think we’re going with the natural flow of things and seeing where we land. Hopefully it will be somewhere pleasant for both of us. I think we should test the waters though, to start the flow.”
“Okay, what do you have in mind?”
“I don’t know, what do you have in mind?”
“Would it be overzealous or presumptuous of me to ask if I can kiss you?”
“No, I think that’s a good idea to start the flow. It’s a wonderful idea.” He puts his arm around my waist, pulling me against his body. Leaning down, he gently kisses my lips and I snake my arms around his neck, opening my mouth to him. “Mmm…nice.”
“Mmhmm, wait, it gets better. I’m pulling out all the stops.” I laugh and he glides his tongue over the roof of my mouth setting off tingling sensations in me. Keeping his mouth against mine he says, “I like, I think the flow is turning into a steady rush.”
I agree, smiling, and as he’s about to kiss me again my phone rings. Breaking the contact between us, I hold up a finger moving back to answer my phone without looking. “Hello.”
“Hey, what’s up? I haven’t heard from you in a few days. I wanted to make sure you’re okay, how’s the morning sickness?”
Oh dammit, Nick. Awkward feeling. “Hi, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure, you sound a little…I don’t know?”
Geez. “I was actually about to step out. I’ll call you later. Okay, bye.”
“Wait! What’s going on? Where are you going on a weeknight at this time?”
I give a strained smile to Matt and turn away from him. “I’ll call you later, I have to go,” I say, trying to dodge his questions and get off the phone.
“Are you going on a date? With him?”
“Yes, I’ll call you later, bye.” I hang up before he has a chance to say anything else. I turn around giving Matt an apologetic smile.
He shakes his head and smiles back. “Let me guess—Nick. He sure knows how to ruin a good time. You’re talking to him again?”
“We’ve come to an understanding and he knows we’re dating.”
I see the skepticism all over his face. “And he’s fine with this?”
I didn’t say that. “He’s respecting my choice. Shoes two minutes and I’ll be ready to go,” I tell him, effectively ending an uncomfortable topic.
The date was great; we laughed and talked like we always do but I was waiting for that feeling one gets when the proverbial stars align and becomes all a flutter with anticipation at the end of the night. I didn’t get it but the kisses were good…it wasn’t the I-want-to-slap-you-but-still-kiss-you-at-the-same-time feeling most people would be a bit puzzled by, except for me it seems.
Two days later, I got a surprise at my door. I was expecting Chloe, and Isabelle with Conner, but it was Nick. “What are you doin
g here?”
“I felt bad about your morning sickness.” He holds up a bag and hands it to me.
I take the bag and look inside. A box of saltines, ginger ale, and two kinds of seltzer water. I smile, putting the bag down. “Thank you, but don’t just show up like this. You can’t do that.” So not good if Matt was here.
With sad puppy dog eyes and a pout he says, “You’re going to make this often brash but well-meaning pigheaded ass of a man dissolve into a puddle of tears, with my tail between my legs all because I was concerned. Concerned about you and brought you a care package.”
I stare at him unmoved and out of nowhere he drops to the floor on one knee pulling me toward him with his hands on my hips. “What are you doing!” I take a quick look around to make sure no one is coming down the hall.
“Catherine Reed, I will be down here groveling at your perfect dainty feet until the day you decide to forgive me for being such a screwed up insensitive jackass. How dare I show up at your door uninvited and worried about you.” During his speech I try to unglue his hands off me until I finally give in and say, “Yes, yes, fine, I forgive you. Get up.” He instantly releases my hips and pops up, kissing me on the cheek and I can’t stop myself from smiling at his antics.
“Sorry I had to pull out the big guns, groveling and all that. I’m pleased to see you’re not immune to it. I’ll call next time.”
“Good.” I watch him lean against the doorframe not trying to talk his way inside.
“I was really concerned. How’s the morning sickness?”
I rest the bag on the floor and answer him. “It’s off and on during the day. At the moment it’s off.”
“Tired?”
I smile, thinking about my day and the nap I had to take on my lunch break. “Yes, but I’m managing to get a few well-timed naps in here and there.”
His eyes move up and down my body assessing for himself, stopping at my face. “Good, I don’t want anything to happen to you and the baby. I don’t know what I would do.”
Always looking out for me, nothing’s changed there. We stand there for a while in silence and I contemplate what he means as the old familiar feelings of being near him stir inside me. If I can only feel more of this with Matt it would solve a lot of problems.
“I’m going to go so you can get some rest. I just wanted to give you these and make sure you were feeling okay.” He points to the bag on the floor. “I hope you don’t need to use those.”
“Thanks for bringing these and I’m hoping the same thing.” I’m about to say something else and I hear,
“Hey, Cat.” To my shock, I see Isabelle and Chloe, with no Conner, unless he’s turned into a grown man who can double as Matt’s Doppelganger. This is all I need. I can see the tumbleweed blowing by when Nick turns toward the sound of Chloe’s voice and makes eye contact with Matt behind the only two people I was expecting to see tonight.
Chloe, as usual, pushes out her chest and runs her hand down Nick’s arm needlessly touching him, and moving in for a kiss on the cheek, which he gives her with a smile. I can only imagine how he’s managing to keep that smile up. “Hey, Nick, fancy seeing you here. Are you staying? I love it when the unexpected happens in the form of two gorgeous testosterone-filled men. Only very good things can happen: one for me, one for Cat.”
If she only knew.
Nick shakes his head while still maintaining his smiling face. “Unfortunately I won’t be able to stay to enjoy yours and Isabelle’s lovely company. I’m afraid the testosterone will overflow and someone might end up with a black eye fighting over your affections.”
Chloe, who’s in her element and doesn’t seem to care for off-handed compliments being thrown her way, beams up at Nick, brushing her body against his as she walks inside saying, “Nick, I’m a girl who knows how to share, there is enough of my affection to go around. By the way, I fully intend to give you that call for the one-on-one consultation we talked about. Later.”
Nick lets her pass by without saying a word and looks at me apologetically with an imperceptible shake of his head. I let my facial expression do the talking for me and it damn sure was saying, “Really, you should put a stop to that nonsense.” Isabelle clears her throat, looking between us with an amused smile. Nick kisses her on the cheek as she goes in and she blushes a bit saying, “Hi, Nick; bye, Nick. Nice to see you again.”
The last person, whom I haven’t looked at yet, stops dead in front of Nick. The look on both their faces is unmistakable, especially Nick’s. Not wanting my friends to hear them I step out as far as I can, pulling the door shut.
“I heard you were back,” Matt says.
“You heard right.”
“Good luck.”
“Don’t need it. I’m not going anywhere.” He turns to me and his animosity turns into a warm smile. Brushing his thumb across my face he says, “Goodnight, Cat, in case I don’t get to say it tonight, sweet dreams.”
Oh, man. “Goodnight.”
Matt watches him walk away then catches me off-guard when he blurts out, “What the hell was that, why was he here?”
“I could ask the same of you. I was not expecting to see either of you here tonight. I didn’t invite him over here, he came to say hi, we’re friends. I don’t appreciate the way you’re acting, I didn’t do anything wrong. Do you want to tell me who I can and can’t see now?”
“I’m not saying that. I was in the area, bumped into Chloe and Isabelle and they said I should come with them. I thought it would be a great surprise, that you would want to see me.”
“I’m happy to see you. I wasn’t expecting you is all, like Nick. Let’s not argue about this.”
“Okay, but all I’m saying is, it’s unnerving seeing him with you.”
I don’t say anything to that. Instead, I pull his head down for a kiss and say, “He left, we’re here together, let’s go inside with our friends and enjoy the rest of our night. You are a good surprise.” He takes my hand and closes the door.
I could tell he was a little tense the rest of the night, as he didn’t join Chloe when she tried to get him to dance. He did sit next to me the entire night, holding my hand, and letting Isabelle and Chloe know when they asked that we were dating and seeing where it would lead to. Isabelle was her usually happy self especially with the prospect of another couple she likes going out on a double date with her and Kevin. Chloe was way too excited letting us know Nick was all free and clear for her. By the end of the night all of us were laughing. Matt and I made plans to go on a date next week when he came back from his business trip.
The week was uneventful with Matt gone. Every night we would talk on the phone and then like on some freaky radar he has, Nick would call me and he would be the last voice I heard at night instead of Matt’s. It wasn’t bad though because he was the only one who knew I was pregnant and when a little groan would escape from my nausea I didn’t have to pretend it was a yawn or me clearing my throat, which gets old fast. He would just say in a soothing voice, “Lie back and breathe.”
Even though we didn’t talk about Kate or what happened, I found I was less and less angry with him each day. And still not one word about Matt or what happened in the hallway between the three of us.
Matt came back and I was happy to see him. I was still looking for those feelings though, but they weren’t the same but he made me laugh and I was happy to be with him. The first night he was back things got a little hot and heavy and I got carried away, almost forgetting I was pregnant; okay, I was a little horny. As horny as I was, I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with him, pregnant with Nick’s child, and him not knowing. It seemed wrong on so many levels to have him in me when someone else’s child is.
I’m breathing heavy while kissing Matt; he’s shirtless on top of me and I’m in my bra with my dress pulled down to my waist. I break away from the kiss when his hand goes up my thigh pulling my underwear down. “Matt—”
“Yeah,” he says, kissing me on my collarbone.
> “I think we should stop,” I say, holding his hands to keep them from going any lower.
He stops kissing me and puts his hand on the side of my face. “What’s wrong, am I hurting you?”
“No, no, I just think things are moving a little fast…I don’t know if I’m ready to take this next step in our relationship.”
“Okay. I can understand if you’re not ready yet, if that’s what it really is and it has nothing to do with anyone else. I’ve waited this long; I can wait till you’re ready.”
With a quick kiss I say, “Thank you for being patient and understanding.” We lie there in silence with him beside me holding my hands.
Later, lying in bed alone, I feel awful about Matt, then Nick calls and God help me, I was actually looking forward to his call. I can deny it but I feel better, shit.
It all comes to a head a week later when I’m getting ready for my date with Matt and I open my door to both of them standing there looking like they’re ready to lock horns and rip each other to shreds.
What the hell is going on? Today is not one of my better days. I’ve been feeling nauseated and tired the entire day. I don’t want to navigate this land mine to defuse this situation. “Guys, please—”
“What is he doing here, Cat?”
“I don’t know, Matt.”
“Why the hell do you keep showing up here uninvited?” he says to Nick.
“I don’t answer to you. If you want to take this outside and get some things straight I’m more than willing to. Believe me, I would like nothing better.”
Matt moves toward Nick and I think I’m going to throw up. I rush between them with my back to Matt and put my hand up against Nick’s chest, trying to defuse this as fast as I can. My heart is beating double time, Matt pressed against my back, knowing in an instance all it would take is the raise of a hand for someone to be seriously hurt. “Nick, please go. I need you to go, I’ll call you later.”
Imperfections Come To Light (The Imperfection Series Book 2) Page 5