by Amy Vastine
“New tat?” he asked, pointing at the USMC inked across Deke’s knuckles.
“Purty, ain’t it?” he said, flexing his fingers. “Reunion comin’ up in September. Got one more tat in mind, and just enough time to get it beforehand. Helo,” he said, and using a fingertip, drew E/2/5 on the bar.
“E-two-five?”
“Echo Company, 2nd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment.”
He recalled stories Deke had told—after downing a few after the customers had left and the pub was dark and quiet. The man had survived the horrors of war, lost his wife to a younger man, sidestepped bankruptcy—twice—yet never once thought of giving up. Jase felt a mix of shame and sorrow for his fear of another Lillie-related heartache.
Sitting up straight, he snapped off a quick salute. “Thank you for your service, sir.”
Deke returned the gesture, and grinning, added, “Don’t call me sir.”
He’d heard the what-not-to-call-a-sergeant story before, but since Deke seemed in the mood to talk, Jase said, “Let me buy you a beer and you can remind me why.”
Back on his side of the bar, Deke filled two glasses and slid one to Jase. “Because I worked for a living, that’s why.” He downed a mouthful of summer ale and used the back of one hand to wipe suds from his upper lip. “I’m an old man, so show me some respect, whippersnapper. Answer my question. And make it short and sweet. The joint will be jumpin’ soon.”
“Which question?”
Deke groaned, then repeated, “What’s the worst that could happen if you and Lillie got back together?”
Only honesty, Jase believed, would bring this unpleasant subject to a close. “Life is unpredictable. Something could happen to make her turn to drugs again.”
“Y’think? Like what?”
“Her dad has a heart condition. What if—God forbid—it takes him from her?”
Deke shook his head. “Call me obtuse, but didn’t she get into drugs in the first place to cut the pain from all the stuff she went through after the accident?”
He answered with a one-shouldered shrug.
“Whole different kind of pain than the loss of a parent.” He scowled and stared into his glass. “Or a spouse.”
Jase wasn’t so sure of that, but let the comment pass.
“How’s she doing in that regard, anyway? PT a thing of the past?”
“Yeah, she finished up with her physical therapy before leaving for New York. But she’s still favoring the bad leg. Says it hurts pretty much nonstop.”
“What’s she taking for it?”
“Nothing. Lillie told me this morning that she hasn’t taken so much as an aspirin in more than a year.”
Deke gave a slow, thoughtful nod. “Nothing for the pain, even though she hurts every day…” He stared at Jase, as if his stony expression would provide food for thought.
“Okay. Fine. I get it. But like I said, life can be hard. How long before she can’t put up with it anymore and decides to take something?”
“Here’s an idea, genius. Why don’t you ask her?”
Not a bad idea. Jase wondered why he hadn’t considered that himself. It made perfect sense to find out if she had a plan for handling those tough times life would throw at her. If she did, and the plan seemed plausible, it might just be safe to test the Lillie waters.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“LILLIE ROURKE, PLEASE.”
“Speaking…”
“Lillie. Hi. It’s Brant Perry, Sally’s dad?”
She hoped he wasn’t calling to set up an interview between her and his producer friend. She hadn’t had time to give his offer the serious consideration it deserved. And as she’d admitted to Jase, it had been a long time since she’d really put her voice into action.
“I’m afraid I have bad news.”
She’d heard that tone before. She’d asked the hospital’s volunteer coordinator to let her know whenever one of the kids had died, so she could prepare herself before going in to see the others. Sinking onto the foot cushion of the gazebo’s chaise lounge, she held her breath. Not Sally, she thought. Please, not Sally…
“It’s about Jason.”
“Oh, no…”
“Not sure what happened, really. While I was visiting Sally this afternoon, they rushed him to the OR. Overheard a couple docs and a nurse discussing his case. Seems this operation is his last hope…if he survives it.”
“I—I don’t know what to say.”
“I understand. Believe me. Sally’s a mess. This isn’t the first time another kid has, well, you know…but Jason and Sally have a special bond. More like siblings than fellow patients. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what to tell her.”
“Poor little thing,” Lillie said. “Is there anything I can do?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. Can you come down here? No need to bring your guitar or paints. She thinks a lot of you, so I’m guessing a short visit will snap her out of her funk.”
“I’ve been working in the yard. Give me half an hour to clean up, and I’ll be there.”
“Thanks, Lillie. I appreciate it more than words can say.”
As she got ready, Lillie considered things she could bring to cheer up a very sick, very sad little girl. Candy was out of the question, thanks to her treatments, and at her age, flowers didn’t seem appropriate. Besides, the staff prohibited plants of any kind, since they exposed the vulnerable kids to mold, bacteria or fungus. A book, or better still, one of those adult coloring books that had a lot of complexity. Colored pencils, too. She’d noticed during her last visit that most of those donated to the playroom were broken.
“Mom? Is it okay if I borrow your car?”
Amelia looked away from her latest painting. “Sure, honey. Where are you going?”
“To Hopkins. Little Jason is in bad shape, and Sally isn’t taking it very well.”
“Oh, dear. What’s wrong?”
Lillie gave her mother a quick rundown of what Brant had said. “I hope he’ll rally. He was counting on making that wedding happen for his mom.”
“I love your big caring heart, honey, but please don’t get all worked up over this, okay?”
Worked up. In other words, don’t backslide. She’d done everything in her power to show how she’d changed. If the big smiles, the always happy demeanor, the continual upbeat outlook hadn’t convinced them, what would?
“Don’t worry, Mom. Even if—God forbid—the worst happens, I’m not going to sink back into the addiction pit. I promise.”
“Oh, sweetie, that was the furthest thing from my mind! It’s just, well, I can see how upset you are.”
“Thank you for caring.” She stood beside her mother and admired the colorful vista leaning on the easel. “Wow, that might just be one of your best works, ever.”
Amelia chewed the end of her brush. “I don’t know… It needs something. More blue?”
“Maybe just a touch, right there.” She pointed to an area between wispy cirrus clouds. “Not too much, though, because they look real enough to develop into rainmakers.” Pressing a kiss to Amelia’s cheek, Lillie said, “I shouldn’t be long, but don’t hold supper for me.”
With that, she hurried out the door. If she didn’t waste time, the gift shop would still be open.
She’d just paid for two coloring books, a sharpener, a big box of crayons and another of colored pencils when her cell phone rang.
“Hello?” Lillie said, talking as she made her way to the elevators.
“Lill…it’s me.”
Jase? Good as it was to hear his voice, she couldn’t imagine why he’d called.
“Just spent some time with Deke and—”
“Is he all right?”
“Sure. Of course. Better than all right, in fact.”
In reaction to an announcement that floated down
from the overhead speakers, he said, “You’re at Hopkins? I thought you weren’t due back there until next week.”
Lillie told him about the call from Sally’s dad.
“Aw, jeez. Sorry to hear that. Anything I can do?”
“Nothing I can think of, but thanks for offering. I’m heading to Sally’s room. Don’t know if I’ll get a signal in the elevator.”
“It’s okay. I just called to tell you that Deke sends his best. And…”
Why the hesitation? she wondered.
“And to see if we can get together later.”
“Why?”
“It can wait. How’s the hand?”
“Fine. A little stiff, but no bleeding.”
“Told you it wasn’t a good idea to bang on that old Yamaha so soon after—”
“Elevator’s here,” she said. And just as she’d suspected, her cell signal disappeared the instant the doors hissed shut. Lillie didn’t have time to wonder about Jase’s call, because in an instant, the doors opened again, and there stood Brant Perry.
“At the risk of being cliché,” he said, “you’re a sight for sore eyes.”
One hand on her elbow, he guided her toward Sally’s room.
“She stopped crying the instant I told her you were coming. So thanks for showing up.”
Why wouldn’t she show up? Had he somehow heard about her history?
“I’m happy to help, any way I can.” And she meant it, too, because with everything else life was throwing at these kids, being disappointed by a friend shouldn’t be among them.
“What’s in the bag?”
“Oh, I just thought it might be easier for Sally to loosen up, get a few things off her chest if she was distracted, coloring.”
“What a great idea.” He gave her an admiring smile. “You’re something else, you know that?”
Standing just outside his daughter’s door, Brant added, “She really misses her mom at times like these.”
She’d heard from some of the nurses that his ex-wife moved to Paris with her new beau, a tenor with the Bordeaux Opera House in Paris. According to those same disapproving nurses, the woman had visited Sally only once during her many months in and out of Hopkins. That had to be difficult, Lillie thought, for Sally and her single dad.
She slowed her pace as they neared Sally’s door. “Just as soon as she hears Jason is out of surgery and doing fine, Sally will be her usual happy self again. You’ll see.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“What’s the operation for, anyway?”
“Near as I can tell,” he said, “it’s what they call palliative care. They said they’re removing his port, to improve his mobility. But the way they raced out of here?” Brant raised his shoulders in a gesture of helplessness. “It isn’t like he needs it anymore, because, well, you know.” He exhaled a shaky breath.
“I hear you out there, Dad,” Sally called.
He chuckled. “Can’t put anything past that kid,” he said, and entered the room.
Lillie stood back while they exchanged a hello hug. He waved her forward. “Look what the Elevator Fairy just delivered!”
“Lillie! Dad said you were going to try and get here,” she said, administering a fierce hug from her spot in bed. “I’m so, so, so happy to see you!”
“I’m happy to see you, too, sweetie,” Lillie said, unbagging the coloring books. “I hope you don’t have these already.”
“This coloring book looks amazing!” She patted her mattress, then picked up a coloring book. “Choose a picture, Lillie, and we’ll color it together.”
After dropping her purse on the windowsill, Lillie sat cross-legged at the foot of Sally’s bed. “How about if you choose a picture. I’ve made so many decisions today, I’m positively dizzy.”
The girl flipped through the book, stopping when she came to a complicated garden. Removing a blue colored pencil from the box, she said, “What kind of decisions?”
“Well, my mom and dad own a little bed-and-breakfast in Fells Point, see…” Sally began filling in some flowers, Lillie realized it was the same shade of blue as Jase’s eyes. “Anyway, my folks did some remodeling, and in a couple weeks, they’re having a party to show it off. I’ve been working on some ads and stuff, to make sure lots of people know about it. People who might reserve rooms at the inn, or recommend it to their friends.”
“So you’re kinda like the party planner, aren’t you?”
Lillie pictured the to-do list that included invitations and mailers, decorations, a two-tiered cake, and hiring kids from the Lincoln Culinary Institute in nearby Columbia to make and serve hors d’oeuvres.
“You could say that.”
“Wish I could come.”
“I wish you could, too.”
Brant, leaning casually in the doorway, said, “We’ll talk to Doctor Kay about it.”
Sally pouted. “Don’t bother. He’ll just say no.”
Lillie gently pinched her pink-socked toe. “Let’s stay positive. He might surprise you and say yes!”
The girl smiled. Barely. “Maybe. I guess.”
Brant came closer to the bed. “Would you girls mind very much if I ran down to the cafeteria?”
“Will you bring me back a fudge pop?”
Lillie saw the indecision on his face: fulfill her request and risk an upset stomach, or deny her and deal with her disappointment.
“You bet, darlin’. One for you, too, Lillie?”
“Who can say no to a fudge pop!” she said, laughing a little harder than necessary. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thanks.”
He hadn’t been gone a full minute when Sally said, “Did Dad tell you about Jason?”
“Yes, he did. Bummer, huh?”
Bending low over the picture, Sally’s forehead furrowed as she concentrated on filling in a stripe on a chipmunk’s back with a crayon labeled Burnt Sienna. “He could die this time, Lillie,” she said without looking up. “I mean really, really die. I heard his mom and dad talking. Then I heard them making phone calls.” She met Lillie’s eyes to add, “They were telling their friends and family to pray, ’cause this might be it.”
Lillie wished she’d thought to buy a bottle of water at the gift shop, because suddenly, her throat was bone dry.
“What do you think?” Sally pressed.
Lillie didn’t know how to respond, if she should respond. Wasn’t it a question better left to Sally’s dad? Or her oncologist? One look at the girl’s wide-eyed, hopeful face prompted Lillie to take a deep breath. Lord, if You’re up there, I sure could use some guidance right about now.
She scooted closer, until their knees were touching and took Sally’s hands in her own. “Jason is getting the very best care,” she began. “This is one of the finest hospitals in the whole world, and he has some of the most talented doctors. So let’s keep a good thought, okay?”
“That’s pretty good advice.”
Sally looked toward the sound of the deep voice. “Hi,” she said. “Who are you?”
* * *
HE SQUIRTED A dollop of hand sanitizer into one palm and rubbed it in. “I’m Jase,” he said. “And you must be Sally.”
“What’re you doing here?” Lillie asked.
He smiled. “I was in the neighborhood, so…”
Leaning closer, Sally whispered, “Is he your boyfriend?”
Lillie seemed too stunned to answer, so Jase said, “Well, I’m a boy—or was a boy, anyway—and I’m Lillie’s friend. So yeah, I guess you could call me her boyfriend.”
The girl leaned closer still, and in a hushed voice, said, “He’s really, really handsome, Lillie.”
And Lillie whispered back, “Don’t let him hear you say that. His head will swell up so big, he won’t be able to fit it through the door
way. Then he’ll be stuck in here for who knows how long!”
Giggling, Sally accidentally kicked over the box, and colored pencils spilled from the box, rolled under the bed, toward the bathroom, near the night table. She started to get out of bed, but Jase stopped her, one hand in the air like a traffic cop.
“You stay put, li’l miss,” he drawled. “Lillie and me, we’ll fetch them colorin’ sticks for ya.”
“He’s funny, too,” Sally said.
Jase and Lillie bumped heads in the corner near the closet. “She’s the bride?” he whispered.
Lillie answered with a nod.
“Okay to talk about it?”
She shook her head.
Ten minutes later, they’d refilled the box, leaving only one open space.
“Don’t worry,” Lillie assured Sally, “we’ll find it. Eventually.”
Jase agreed. “Or the custodian will.”
“It’s right here.” Sally held up the brown crayon she’d been using. “It’s the only one that didn’t end up on the floor!”
“She’s pretty tricky,” he said, winking at Lillie. “But you two were busy when I barged in. Get back to whatever you were doing. Or talking about. I’ll just sit over here like a good…boyfriend.”
“Move the chair closer,” Sally said, “and help us finish this picture. Then we can all sign it and tack it to my bulletin board.”
It was already covered with so many cards and drawings that none of the cork showed through. Jase decided he’d ask a nurse for tape to stick the picture to the wall beside the corkboard, instead.
“So,” he said, sliding a red crayon from the box, “what were you talking about when I got here?”
“Jason. He’s getting an operation, right now,” Sally answered. “We were just wondering what would happen to him…after…”
He met Lillie’s eyes. What she’d said about the hospital, the doctors, keeping a good thought, made sense now. Though how she’d managed under the circumstances, he couldn’t say. In her shoes, he’d probably have stuttered and stammered…if a response had come to mind at all.