They’d turned on the news earlier, and it was less than encouraging. The hospitals were overrun, rescue teams were spread thin, and politicians were sending their thoughts and prayers. It seemed like the end of the world.
If this is going to be your last night on earth, you should make it a memorable one.
“We should play a game.”
Kit’s words startled the silence from the room. Chance glanced at him and blinked as if he’d forgotten Kit was there. “Huh?”
“A game. Something to pass the time and take our minds off the impending doom.” His eyes wandered over to the bottle of Scotch on the desk. “We could even make it a drinking game.”
Chance sat up. “What would we play?”
“Dunno. I knew tons of games in college. It wasn’t a house party without a round of Ring of Fire or Asshole. But you need cards for those. I don’t suppose you have a deck in your pockets?”
“Negative.”
“I didn’t think so. How about Never Have I Ever?”
“Veto.” Chance shook his head. “I always lose at that.”
Kit grinned. “Bit of a wild child, huh?”
Chance’s flush answered the question for him.
“What about Would You Rather? Might be a good chance for us to learn more about each other.”
“How would we make that a drinking game?”
“If you can’t decide, you have to drink.”
Chance grinned. “I like that. Gives us an incentive to come up with impossible scenarios.” He got up, grabbed the bottle off the desk, and sat back down facing Kit. “You wanna start us off?”
“All right.” Kit thought for a moment. Chance seemed like something of a pop-culture junkie. He might enjoy a question along those lines. “Would you rather have a Lord of the Rings marathon or a Star Wars marathon?”
“Depends. Are we talking the extended editions? Because that’s like twelve hours’ worth of content. And when you say Star Wars, do you mean the original movies, or the prequels we pretend don’t exist?”
“All of it. All content for each franchise, including the Hobbit movies.”
“Jesus. In that case, I gotta say Lord of the Rings. I love both, but even I can’t marathon all of Star Wars in one sitting. There’d be another movie out before I finished.”
“Solid reasoning. Your turn.”
Chance scratched his chin. “I think I’ll go right for the juicy stuff. Would you rather never have sex again or never fall in love again?”
“Oh, fuck.” Kit took a big gulp of Scotch. “Sorry, I can’t make that choice.”
Chance smiled crookedly. “Good answer.”
Maybe the liquor had made him bold, but Kit couldn’t resist the opportunity to probe the sexuality waters, now that the topic had been introduced. “It only seems fair to bring up Star Trek next. You’ve seen it, right?”
“Like, every permutation. Even Voyager.”
“Nice. My question is, would you rather bang Kirk or Pike?”
Chance didn’t even bat an eye. “James Tiberius Kirk, no question. I don’t even care if he’s William Shatner or Chris Pine. I’d bang him like a drum. And I love that you picked those two. They were some of my earliest crushes.”
Kit swallowed. If there had ever been any doubt that Chance was into guys, it’d just been obliterated. The knowledge sent a frisson through him, though warning bells also went off in his head.
Remember to keep your feelings to yourself. You’re in a life-or-death situation here. Chance is thinking about survival, not romance, and you should do the same.
Still, he admired how open Chance was about his sexuality. He hadn’t hesitated at all. Would Kit ever be able to be that honest about himself? He hoped so. How could he expect anyone to want to get close to him if he was always holding back?
Oblivious to his inner turmoil, Chance continued. “Would you rather eat the same thing every day or never be able to eat the same thing twice?”
“Yikes. Um. The same thing every day. I pretty much do that anyway. Would you rather watch nothing but comedies or dramas?”
“Comedies.” Chance winked. “No big surprise there. Um . . .” He tapped his chin. “Would you rather be Batman or Superman?”
“Batman.”
Chance smirked. “Because you’d also like to be a brooding millionaire?”
“Of course. But seriously, I don’t get Superman. He’s so bland.”
“Maybe, but he’s also one of the few superheroes who saves people for no reason other than he wants to help. Not because he’s seeking revenge, or because he feels he’s been burdened with some terrible responsibility. Although, for the record, I would’ve picked Batman too.”
“Hm. I think you gave me an appreciation for Superman. For that, you get a hard question: would you rather have a lifetime of decent sex with someone you love, or mind-blowing sex with strangers that you’ll never see again?”
Chance didn’t hesitate. “Someone I love. Having that alone would be nice. Besides, sex is automatically better when you’re in love.”
“Yeah, it is.” Kit couldn’t quite bring himself to look Chance in the eye.
Chance seemed to hesitate, but then he cleared his throat. “This game doesn’t involve enough drinking. Let’s play something else.” He rearranged himself so he was turned fully to Kit with one leg folded on the seat. His eyes were bright, and his cheeks were as pink as the sky outside.
“How about Two Truths and a Lie next?”
“How do you play?”
“You name two things that are true about yourself and one lie, and then the other person tries to guess the lie. If they guess right, you drink. If they don’t, they drink. Make sense?”
“I think so.” Chance screwed up his mouth. “Can we do a practice round?”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
“Um . . . My favorite color is turquoise, I’ll eat an entire cheesecake if you put one in front of me, and I once shot a man in Reno and watched him die.”
Kit chuckled. “I sincerely hope you didn’t shoot anyone. Although if you did, I volunteer to be a character witness.”
“That’s very generous. Your turn.”
“Okay.” Kit thought for a moment. “I’m closer with my mom than my dad, I want to move to the countryside someday, and I throw Snap a birthday party every year.”
“Hm. If you’re the sort of guy who uses his cat as his phone background, then I believe the birthday thing. And when you mentioned your family before, you didn’t say anything about your dad. I think the bit about the countryside is the lie.”
“Nice logic, Spock.” Kit took his punishment drink. It went down more easily than it had before. “My dad died when I was little, and my mom remarried. That’s why my sisters are so much younger than me. But my stepdad was only around long enough to father them, and then he split. It’s been the five of us for the past few years.”
“I’m so sorry, Kit.”
“It’s okay. What are your parents like?”
“Dad wears terrible sweaters and likes to garden. Mom, on the other hand, manages a very successful restaurant and meddles in her sons’ lives.”
Kit snorted. “Does it do any good?”
“None whatsoever. Let’s keep playing. I’m enjoying this.” Chance took the bottle from him. “I’m anticipating having to drink after this round, but here goes. I can’t swim, I can’t ride a bike, and I can’t drive a stick.”
Kit groaned. “Oh man, I wish all three of those were lies.”
“Shut up and guess, fancy-pants.”
“Okay. I believe you can’t drive a stick, because most cars over here are automatic.”
“‘Over here’?”
“Yeah, sorry. I studied abroad in London during college. That’s how I learned to drive a stick. Cars are mostly manual over there, and the steering wheel’s on the other side.”
“I wanna hear all about that, after you finish guessing.”
“Right.” Kit looked Chance up an
d down. “Well, you said you were born here. I find it hard to believe a California native can’t swim, so I think that’s the lie, and the other things were true.”
“You got me.” Chance took a swig and coughed. “Shit, I swear this is getting stronger with time.”
“That means you don’t know how to ride a bike, right? How is that possible? I was so ready to be wrong about that.”
“When I was a kid it was somehow determined that teaching me was Dad’s job, and he didn’t want to put pressure on me. He said when I was ready to learn, all I had to do was say so. But I was terrified of falling, so I never pursued it, and neither did he. Thus, I never learned.”
“Jesus. You missed out on a lot of childhood memories.”
“Perhaps, but while the other kids were flying around on their two-wheeled death traps, my mom taught me how to cook like a champ. When I got to college, I was the most sought-after roommate ever. I make bacon donuts that will melt your face off.”
Kit’s eyes went wide. “B-bacon?”
“Bacon donuts, dude. Add a side of scrambled eggs, and they’re the ultimate hangover cure.”
“If I had a ring on me right now, I’d propose.”
Chance giggled, sounding giddy. “Tell you what. We get out of this, and I’ll consider saying yes.”
Kit laughed too, even as his heart skipped a beat.
The sun had almost finished setting. The light was fading fast. Striations of shadow and light played over Chance’s face, highlighting his cheekbones and playing with his full lips.
Pretty soon, it’d be dark. They’d have to use their phones, or turn on the TV. Or go to sleep. Together.
Kit drew a breath and wasn’t surprised at all when it caught in his throat. “It’s my turn.” He wet his lips. “I was born on Valentine’s Day, my favorite book is The Great Gatsby, and I have a third nipple.”
Chance’s mouth twitched up into a smile. “I would love to say the third nipple is the lie, but I happen to remember the little birthday party the business guys threw for you back in May. They made you wear a pointy hat, and it was amazing. Plus, you seem like exactly the sort of person who would love Jay Gatsby.”
“Damn. I thought that would throw you off for sure. Though, for the record, I much prefer Nick Carraway.” Kit took his penalty drink. It burned going down. After, he realized Chance was staring at him. “What?”
“So . . . do I get to see it?”
Kit feigned ignorance as warmth infused him. “See what?”
“Your third nipple.” Chance’s eyes wandered down Kit’s chest. “Can I see it?”
Gulp.
Kit’s fingers reached for the hem of his shirt. “You sure you want to?”
“Yeah.” Maybe Kit was imagining it, but he thought Chance’s voice sounded rough. “Show me.”
Kit took a deep breath, peeled up his dress shirt and white undershirt, and exposed his left pectoral, under which was a tiny pink bump that looked almost like a mole. He held his breath as he waited for Chance to react. And if he made sure his abs were flexed then . . . Well, he worked hard on his body. It was only fair he got to show it off.
Chance was quiet, eyes fixed on Kit’s exposed torso. At first, his gaze remained on the feature in question, but eventually, it dipped down to check out the rest of him. Kit had to fight to keep still beneath the scrutiny.
After too much time had passed for the look to be innocent, Chance finally tore his eyes away. “That’s . . . a third nipple all right. So, does it do anything? Can you use it to see the future, or rub it for good luck?” He laughed weakly.
Kit slid his clothes back into place. “Nah, it’s basically an odd mole. Though if someone rubs it, I consider it lucky for me.”
He’d meant that as a joke, but it’d ended up sounding provocative. Tension sprang up between them, thick and undeniable. Chance glanced at him, and as soon as he did, their eyes seemed to lock together. Heat shot down Kit’s spine and nestled between his legs.
“I think I’ve had enough to drink,” Chance murmured.
“Yeah, me too.” Kit swallowed. “I’m enjoying getting to know you, though.”
“Same, but I dunno if I can think clearly enough to come up with more lies.”
Words poured out of Kit before he could examine their wisdom. “Then let’s do truths. New game with two rules: we can ask each other anything, and we have to answer honestly.”
Chance nodded. “Okay.”
The sun was seconds away from disappearing below the horizon. Shadows crept up all around them. Without a word, Chance pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on. After fiddling with the settings, he set it between them. The screen was dim, just enough light to illuminate their faces as they leaned closer to each other.
“How much battery do you have left?” Kit asked.
“Twenty percent. It’ll make it to morning if I power it down while we sleep.” He paused. “That counted as your question, by the way.”
“Damn. All right. Do your worst.”
Chance considered him for a moment. His blue eyes caught the dim light and seemed to glow. “You want my worst? Fine, I’ll be blunt. Are you interested in men?”
The question gave Kit the strangest sense of both relief and dread. He looked down to gather his thoughts.
His expression must’ve given something away, because Chance backpedaled. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I don’t care about the rules.”
“No, it’s okay. I was thinking of what I wanted to say.” He took a breath and let it out. “I’m gay. I dunno if that surprises you or not. Obviously, I’m not out in my professional life. I always told myself it was because people would look at me differently, and that’s true in some ways. But honestly, I think I’m not out for the same reason you never learned how to ride a bike. It’s easier to avoid fear than to confront it.”
Chance leaned closer to him. “Are you worried people will give you shit for it?”
“Sort of. I’m not scared of a little office gossip, but the guys in my department call me a wuss for eating healthily. If you think about that, it’s pretty sick. They’d rather clog their arteries than appear unmanly.”
That got a chuckle out of Chance. “Yeah, Marci and I make fun of the suits when we see them swaggering around the halls. Not you, though. You always seemed different.”
“I appreciate that, but I have my own set of issues. Trust me.”
“Care to share?”
Kit grimaced. “Not right now. I think I’ve done enough unloading for the moment.”
Chance nodded. “If it helps, I get how hard coming out can be.”
“Oh?” Kit smiled. “You can count that as my question.”
Outside, the first stars were punching their way through the night. Chance directed his gaze at them as he answered.
“I decided to come out back in high school. I thought that would be it, you know? You come out, and then everyone knows, and it’s over. But that was only the beginning. I have to come out every time someone asks me if I have a girlfriend, and when the older office ladies try to set me up with their daughters, and when I’m at bars and girls flirt with me. Over and over again. I kinda wish I’d gone your route.”
“No, you don’t. Hiding who you are sucks.”
They fell silent. Night thickened around them. Kit wasn’t used to the city being so dark. Normally, between streetlights and neon signs, there was always some illumination. But now, there was just Chance’s phone and a sliver of moon.
“So.” Chance took a swig of Scotch, despite saying he’d had enough. Kit got the feeling he was trying to pluck up some courage. “Since we’re both out now, we might as well have some boy talk.”
“Okay, but I’ll need the alcohol first.”
Chance dutifully handed it over. “Are you a gold star?”
Kit paused on his way to take a gulp. “A what?”
“You don’t have many gay friends, do you?”
“Not really,
no.”
“A ‘gold star’ is a bullshit term that I probably shouldn’t introduce you to.”
“Too late now.” Kit nudged him. “Tell me.”
“It basically means a ‘gay person who’s never had straight sex,’ quote unquote. ’Cause, you know, a lot of us do before we figure everything out.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, no, I’m not a gold star. You?”
“Nope. I lost my virginity to a girl named Siobhan when I was fifteen. She was beautiful and smart, and after, she was the first one to suggest to me—very, very gently—that I might be gay.”
Kit took a long drink from the bottle. When he looked back at Chance, he was blurry. “I didn’t have sex for the first time until college.”
“What? Seriously? But you’re like . . . You’re so . . .” Chance gestured feebly at Kit before making an exasperated sound. “Anyway, tell me about it.”
“It was with a woman whose name, I’m sad to say, I don’t remember. I was at a frat party. I never pledged, but I spent a lot of time at the gym, and those were the sorts of friends I made. Anyway, this girl walked in, and I swear to God, she took one look at me, and that was the end of that. Didn’t even stop for a beer or to say hi to anyone there. She walked over to me and asked me point-blank if I wanted to hook up. I said yes. The funny thing is, at the time, I really thought I meant it.”
“You had no idea you were gay?”
“Looking back, I definitely knew, but I think I ignored it. Like, full-blown denial. So, I had sex with a girl. And then after that, I had sex with more girls. I hated every minute of it, but I thought that was because I hadn’t found the right one yet.”
It might’ve been his imagination, but Chance seemed to edge even closer. “How’d you figure out the truth?”
“By finding the right guy. His name was Thomas, and he was beautiful. Short, dark hair, icy-blue eyes. I don’t remember how it happened, but we hooked up one night, and it was incredible. Actually, for him, it was probably just another night, but I never knew sex could be like that. It was like all my life I’d been eating stale bread, and then suddenly someone gave me the richest, most delicious chocolate cake.”
“Damn. That made my mouth water.”
“It did the same to me. After that, I went a little overboard. Hooked up with a bunch of guys—in secret, of course. Honestly, hiding it was part of the fun. It made everything that much hotter.” The memory alone turned Kit on. He shifted in his seat.
On Solid Ground Page 8