by Tessa Teevan
Shaking the thought out of my head, I browse each one. There are candid shots of them mixed throughout professional ones from events such as her graduation, Sierra and Jeremy’s wedding, and what looks like an engagement party. As I pass each picture, it’s becoming more real to me that she had a whole separate life before we reconnected. Strangely, I’m not bothered by it, seeing how happy she looks in these pictures, even though it was with another man and not me. I’ll admit that I was a little worried when she told me about their fighting, but looking at these pictures? I know Ty made her a happy woman, and I’m grateful that she had that while she could. Do I wish it had been me? Fuck yes, but what can you do?
Coming to the last picture, I’m breathless as the image of Alexa in a wedding dress enters my vision. I’m moving in for closer inspection when she comes out of her room, stopping when she catches me. Her hand covers her mouth as she closes her eyes for a split second. She swallows hard before walking towards me. She reaches out her hand as if to touch my arm before pulling it back, obviously thinking better of it.
“Jace, I… This is probably awkward, I’m sorry. I just… I wasn’t expecting you, and I don’t…” She trails off as she stares at the wall, glancing at the picture before turning her eyes towards the floor.
I use my right index finger to lift her chin up so that she’s looking at me, biting her lower lip, anticipating my response. “What do you have to be sorry for, Alexa?”
She sweeps her hand across the wall, gesturing towards the pictures. “This has to be weird for you, seeing all these.”
I try to make light of the situation by saying the first thing that comes to mind. “It’ll only be weird if and when we’re married with kids. They may wonder who the other guy is in the wedding photo,” I joke, realizing that I said the wrong damn thing as the color drains from her face at my words.
Fuck me and my stupid mouth.
Before I can say anything, she answers quietly, “Jace, I’m… I’m not ready for all that. I mean, I want whatever this is, but right now I don’t know if I’m ready to label it.”
I’m quick to cover my tracks, not wanting to freak her out and have her shut down on the first night. “No, I know, I’m sorry. It was a stupid joke. I think you know me well enough to know that I want a relationship with you, but we’ll be like what you said. Just whatever it is. No labels for now.”
She looks relieved at my words as she goes back to the original topic. “So these don’t bother you? Not even a little bit?”
I squeeze the bridge of my nose, trying to figure out how to be perfectly honest without sounding like an idiot. “I mean, I guess it’s a little weird, but I’ve had plenty of time to prepare for it. Look, we’ve talked about this. I’m completely aware of the fact that you were married before. All you have are these memories now. I’m not going to ask you to box them away just because it might take a little getting used to.”
Her face softens as she gives me a smile. “Thank you, Jace. It means the world to hear you say that.”
Glad that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I let her lead me towards the kitchen, where she pours us each a glass of wine. We settle in the living room, and she’s absentmindedly flipping through the channels before she settles on Sports Center, presumably to catch the highlights from the game. Turning towards me, she begins to ask me questions about Afghanistan, and I tell her as much as I can. She spies the bandage on my arm from where I got the new date added to my tattoo when I finally made it home.
She pulls her lower lip in between her teeth as she pushes me forward so my back is no longer pressed against the couch. She lifts up my shirt and sighs in relief. She drops the cotton fabric and I sit back, giving her a questioning look.
“What was that all about?”
She gives me a sheepish look. “I was checking to see if you added any new ink to your back.”
It dawns on me that my tattoo freaked her out much more than I thought back when I first revealed why I got it. I take her hand in mine as I set my wine glass down on the table.
“Babe, don’t worry about it. Not every deployment ends with me having to add to it. Most of them were in the early years. Things are winding down now, so don’t even think about it.”
She scoffs, taking a drink before continuing. “That’s easy for you to say. It’s all I could think about. Do you know how often I was glued to the television every time the media reported casualties?”
“Hey, I’m here and I’m safe. I told you I would be. So you can stop worrying and freaking out when you’re watching the news, okay?”
She sighs, “I know. I’m sorry. I’m probably being really whiny when you’re the one who’s actually in harm’s way. It’s just… It’s hard knowing that you’re going to be leaving again.”
When I pull her into me, she settles against my chest. I wrap my arm around her as she places her hand on my abdomen.
“We have a long time before we have to worry about that, so let’s make the most of it, okay?”
She toys with the fabric that’s stretching across my stomach before turning to look up at me.
“I think I can live with that. No more deployment talk for the rest of your visit. Deal?”
Leaning down to seal it with a kiss, I agree. “Deal.”
WRAPPED UP in his arms on the couch, I can’t help but feel a little bit of giddiness that Jace is here. In Cincinnati. On my freaking couch. I know tonight probably didn’t go the way either of us thought it would when we first locked eyes at Great American Ball Park. To be honest, I had visions of him barely making it through the door without him pushing me up against the wall and ripping my clothes off. I think he could sense my nervousness, and when I came out to see him looking at the photos on the wall, I just kind of freaked. Not to mention when he spoke of marriage and kids. It’s not that I don’t want a future with him. I’m just terrified of giving my heart away only to have it broken again. Losing Ty was a fluke, but if Jace and I do this long term, then I’m potentially saying goodbye to him for the last time every time he walks out the door.
Ignoring the thought, I sit up on the couch and move onto his lap, ready to make good on my promise to show him how much I missed him. I straddle his waist as his hands slide up my thighs to grip my hips and pull me down so that we’re touching in the most intimate of places. My hands cover his briefly before I slide them up his arms, careful not to touch the bandage on his right bicep. My hands run underneath his sleeves to rest on his shoulders, and his eyelids lower slightly as my fingers graze his bare skin.
Rocking my hips ever so slightly, I lean into him to place a chaste kiss on his lips. He groans at the light contact, and his hands leave my hips, running up the length of my back, grazing my neck before his left hand wraps up in my ponytail, using it as leverage to pull my head to the side, exposing my neck. I shudder the moment his wet, cool tongue slides up my skin, starting at my collarbone and not stopping until his teeth are softly biting the skin just under my jaw. He releases my hair and moves his hand to the hem of my shirt, lifting it slowly as his hands run over the skin on my back. His hips rise up from the couch as he presses himself harder into me, and his hands work the clasp on the strapless bra under my tank.
I take this opportunity to run my fingers through his longer hair, and I revel in the fact that I can actually grasp it. I repeat his move, pushing his head to the side so I can taste every inch of his neck. As I do so, his hands frantically remove the bra from my chest. He throws it on the floor before his hands are covering my breasts, caressing and massaging them reverently. Apparently tiring of my top getting in the way, he grabs the hem and whips it over my head, tossing it aside. He growls as he takes in the sight of me, his head instantly dipping, taking a nipple into his mouth.
“Fucking gorgeous,” he whispers against my skin.
He’s licking and sucking and it’s all I can do not to rip my jeans off and ride him right here on the couch. He gives the same attention to both of my breasts, and I can
’t help the hand that grips his hair as his mouth pleasures me.
“God, I’ve missed your mouth on me,” I pant as his tongue sends shivers down my spine.
I let out an involuntary moan as his teeth clench down on my hard nipple, and he’s up off the couch with me wrapped around him. He makes his way down the hall, stopping at the end until I point in the direction of my bedroom. Walking across the threshold with me in his arms, he finds the light switch and flips it on before setting me down on the bed. He tears off his shirt and undoes his jeans, kicking them off as they fall to a heap at his feet. My eyes wander to the gray boxer briefs that show off his erection, and I lick my lips in anticipation of having them wrapped around him.
He catches my reaction and his eyes burn with hunger as he takes me in, topless, waiting for him. He stalks towards the bed and grabs my legs forcefully, causing me to lie down. His hands unbutton my jeans frantically, as if he can’t wait to get me naked. Undoing the zipper, he yanks the denim off of me, groaning as he takes in my naked body.
“Christ, woman, do you ever wear underwear?” he growls, one lone finger swiping my core.
Loving his reaction, I can’t help but tease. “If you react like this every time, then I’m never wearing it again.”
He shakes his head as he climbs on the bed, placing his body over mine. I can feel his hard erection pressing against my thigh, and I roll my hips up towards him. He smiles wickedly at me before he leans in to spread kisses over my collar bone, his left hand burrowing in between my legs as he strokes my entrance, slipping one finger inside of me. He begins to move lower, kissing both of my breasts again before moving down to my navel. Shuddering beneath him, I stretch my arm so that I’m cupping him in my hand. I squeeze, and he groans, moving back up to press a hot kiss to my lips.
“Dammit, Alexa, can you feel how badly I want you right now?” His breathe filling my ear as he grinds his hips in between my legs as his erection connects presses against me.
I push my hips up off the bed so I can press harder against him. “Then why the hell do you still have boxers on?”
Immediately he’s off of me, ripping them off before he settles in between my legs.
“God, baby, you have no idea how much I want to sink into you right now. You’re so fucking wet and I haven’t even tasted you yet,” he groans as he slides his erection up and down against me.
Before I can respond, he leaves the bed, standing up at the edge. He grips my ankles, roughly pulling me closer to him. He kneels on the floor, setting my legs over his shoulders. He buries his face between my legs, his tongue grazing over me. When he bites down on my clit, my hands immediately intertwine in his hair as his tongue licks furiously against my slit.
I can’t help but grind myself into him as the orgasm threatens to break through the surface. My thighs clench around his head, and he sucks frantically, as if he can’t get enough. His thumb presses against my clit, rubbing in circles, throwing me over the edge. I grip his hair in my hands as I find my release, my hips jerking as I come on his lips. He takes one last taste of me before moving up onto the bed, bringing me with him.
My limbs feel like jelly as he settles in between my legs again. He presses into me, and I feel a slight tension as his huge erection enters me. Involuntarily, my legs spread, allowing him deeper access so he can fill me to the hilt. He’s moving slowly, so I wrap my legs around his waist, tilting my hips so that he’ll go even farther.
“Fuck, baby, I’ve missed feeling your tight pussy around me,” Jace says, talking dirtier than I’ve ever heard, and it turns me on in a way I’ve never felt before.
He thrusts into me quickly, in and out, as my legs cling around his waist so that I feel every inch of him. He’s pressing his body down on my mine, planting kisses on my temple as he drives into me, filling me fully with every pump.
Pulling up, he moves his hand between us, fingering my clit in a sweet unison that matches his thrusts. It’s not long before my legs drop from his waist so he can push in deeper as I reach the peak.
“Oh God, Jace…. Harder. Feels so good,” I pant unabashedly as he drives into me, harder and harder until I’m screaming his name in pure ecstasy, gripping his ass to feel his muscles convulsing. He works to find his own release as I tighten around him.
Seconds later, he empties himself into me, and he slows his thrusts until he’s completely still. He looks down at me with a heated intensity that takes my breath away.
“Christ, babe. I’ve never come so quickly in all of my life. Being bare and inside you is like nothing I’ve ever felt.”
I blush as he gives me a warm kiss. Pulling out of me, he grabs tissues off of the nightstand to clean me up. Once he’s done, he heads to the bathroom to dispose of them. I follow, stopping at the door to watch him. There’s something so intimate about watching him move around my bathroom like he belongs there all the time. He catches me watching him and I quickly turn away, making a show of brushing my teeth and washing my face, completing my nightly ritual. I head back to the bedroom, where I throw on comfy shorts and a camisole. I settle on the bed, sitting against the backboard, ready to channel surf.
Jace comes back out and shoots me a look of disappointment when he sees my clothed body. He rummages through his bag and pulls out a fresh pair of boxer briefs, and the same look crosses my face as I watch him slide them up his muscular legs, sadly covering one of my favorite parts of him. He pulls back the covers and joins me, resting his arm around my shoulder, and I lean into him, craving the closeness I’ve been missing for weeks. Flicking through the channels, I finally stop on the nightly Nick at Nite Friends marathon. Settling in to cuddle with Jace while watching reruns of a sitcom feels so normal, like this is exactly where I’m meant to be.
I WAKE up right before dawn, my sleep schedule out of whack due to the time zone differences. Glancing down, I notice that Alexa’s moved away from me in her sleep, her hand the only part of her still touching my skin. She looks peaceful and innocent in the soft moonlight, just like the girl I fell for once before. I know it’s not going to take long for me to fall again, but after what she said last night, I’m nervous about the long term. She says she’s not ready, and I can understand that, but what if she never is? What if she never gets over him enough to really commit to me? She wants to take this slow, but I’ve been waiting far too long to be patient, even though I know I have to be or else I’m going to push her away.
Not able to lie here with these thoughts swirling around in my head, I quietly leave the bed, dressing in the dark so I don’t wake her. I head towards the front door where I stop to put on my running shoes. I spot her keys on the table next to the door, and I grab them as I slip out into the cool September morning, ready to run off the edge I’m feeling.
I’m halfway down the drive when I hear the door open, causing me to turn around. I can see her in the porch lights as they illuminate her long golden legs. She bounds down towards me, and I notice that she’s wearing running gear.
“Can I join you?” she asks when she reaches me.
“That depends. Can you keep up?” I ask teasingly.
She shakes her head at me before answering. “I think the real question, McAllister, is can you?”
With that, she takes off, and I pause to take in the way her ass moves as she runs. My eyes travel down the length of her legs, where her calf muscles tighten with every stride. I begin to run after her, catching up and falling into step beside her. We run in silence, and I’m thankful because I’m actually having a bit of a hard time keeping her pace as we navigate through the hills of her neighborhood. Rounding a corner, she begins to slow down but quickly picks up the pace again as we pass by a cemetery. I glance at her and she catches my eye, giving me a small smile. I can guess why this is her regular running route, and I’m suddenly finding it easier to run faster. We go for about two more miles, and I realize that we’ve gone in a loop as her driveway comes into view. She takes off in a sprint, wanting to race, but I’ve got n
othing left in me at the moment.
She’s already stretching when I get to the drive, and her eyes dance as she teases me. “What was it you were saying about keeping up?”
I’m trying to catch my breath as I stretch. “Hey, I’ve been in one hundred degree weather for the past few months. I haven’t exactly gotten a chance to go running in the hills.”
“Excuses, excuses. Someone needs to work on his cardio,” she admonishes.
With that, I stalk towards her, scooping her up and throwing her over my shoulder. I walk us up to the door and I unlock it so we can go inside. I kick my shoes off in the entryway, and she playfully punches my back as she insists I put her down. Ignoring her pleas, I carry her into the bathroom and set her down on the sink. Taking off my shirt, I turn on the shower before moving back to her. I quickly remove her running shoes and socks before I lift the long-sleeved t-shirt off of her body. I fumble slightly with her sports bra, but I have it off in no time. She lifts her hips for me as I grab the hem of her shorts before I pull them down her legs. Quickly removing my shorts, I settle between her legs, my semi-hard cock rubbing against her damp heat. She leans back against the mirror, closing her eyes as she lets out a moan. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I lift her off the counter. I carry her to the shower and set her on her feet, guiding us both under the water to rinse away the sweat from that workout.