“I think that’s probably my biggest regret … saying that to him. Sometimes I feel like karma lashed out and took him from Ike because of it. He got down on his knees begged me. He said he would never look at another woman again … that if I gave him one more chance, he’d become the perfect husband and father and spend the rest of his life making it up to me. And I guess he did.”
She walked into the office, leaving Avery floundering with this new version of her brother. Then she returned with a box.
“Everything from Ryan’s work locker is in this box. Maybe this will give you some closure. I’ve never been able to bring myself to look inside.”
Avery was crying openly, struck dumb with rage, denial, and grief.
“So, what do I think happened? I really don’t know, but I’ll tell you this much … they didn’t go to that game. Ryan was back in Chicago before halftime. He changed our phone numbers that same day, and told me if I loved him I’d never speak to Aaron again.”
Avery couldn’t listen to another word. She grabbed the box and was out the door, and before she knew it, she was speeding toward Foster’s Farm.
Unfortunately, Aaron was nowhere to be found. His sister, who was stocking the tables, said he was in a meeting. She sat on the hood of her car for 45 minutes, replaying Nicole’s words over and over. She paced for another half hour, but customers were starting to stare at her nervously. Realizing that she could be waiting hours, she abandoned the idea of grilling Aaron for information and headed home. She stared at the box Nicole had given her for over an hour, and finally put it away in the closet.
The rest of her week had the same flavor. Work was a series of unfortunate events. There was a leak in the kitchen at Onyx, and the cold weather seemed to end the golf season abruptly. She continued to forward contacts to Nicole via email, but she wasn’t ready to see her again. She had no idea what to say to her. Shilah hadn’t called and with every passing day, she was more disappointed. In all fairness, she hadn’t given her number to him, but a part of her hoped he’d asked someone for it.
On Friday, things went from bad to worse. Her mother appeared at the clubhouse unannounced. Dressed to the nines, she opened Avery’s office door without knocking.
“Mom. Hi.” It was very much out of character for her mother to visit her at the office. Avery stopped typing mid-word.
“Avery. You look lovely today. Do you have time in your schedule to have lunch with me?”
“Sure.” Avery shrugged and grabbed her purse. “Where do you want to go?”
“Let’s go to The Old Mill.”
As they rode along in her mother’s luxury car, Avery locked her fingers in her lap so she wouldn’t fidget. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was about to be served her last meal. Feeling ridiculous, she tried to tell herself she was a grown woman and wasn’t in trouble. This didn’t help a whole lot. She was still a bundle of nerves as she pretended to read the menu.
“So I understand you’ve met a new beau.” Her mother placed her napkin on her lap and set her menu aside. Her mother had an impeccable poker face, and Avery looked over her menu at her, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Really, Miss Scarlett?” She drawled in a facetious southern accent. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Some foreign gentleman who works for Jonathan Gates.” Sandra ignored her sarcasm and foul language. She sat down her coffee cup with an expectant glance.
“I’m afraid reports about who signed my dance card have been slightly exaggerated.” Avery continued to scan the lunch menu. This sort of gossip was one thing that made her hate small-town living. She wasn’t in the mood for her mother’s shenanigans.
“I suppose I should be disappointed, but I have to admit the blow has been softened by Nicole’s blossoming romance with Jason. We might just be able to unite the Gates and Harper families yet, in a roundabout way…”
“What are you babbling about, Mother? Nicole isn’t seeing Jason.”
“I hear they were quite friendly at that gathering at the Smith’s.”
“Jason is shiftless, and Nicole isn’t stupid.”
“I hear he sent her flowers Monday. Two dozen roses.”
Avery tossed down her menu a little too forcefully.
“What is the purpose of this lunch date? Are you trying to piss me off?”
“Darling, I’m just trying to have a nice chat with you. I realize it’s is a foreign concept to you, but this is what some mothers and daughters do.”
“Let’s cut to the chase. Yes, I met a man. He’s Native American … you don’t get much less ‘foreign’ than that. And no, we are not betrothed. Yes, Jason was hanging all over Nicole. No, she’s not interested. Are we finished? Shall I call a cab?”
“Oh, quit being so dramatic. I won’t apologize for wanting to know what’s going on in your life. However, I certainly hope you won’t influence Nicole and color her opinion of Jason with your own. She could do a lot worse for herself and Isaac.”
Avery stared at her mother, amazed that the woman could still surprise her. She knew her mom had never thought Nic was an appropriate match for Ryan. It was the biggest point of contention between Ryan and Mom, and the only thing she’d ever seen Ryan yell at her about. Her mother taking an active interest in Nicole’s love life tickled her funny bone. She broke into a grin in spite of herself.
“Did I say something funny?” Her mother took another sip of her coffee, and the burgundy lipstick stain left on the cup momentarily distracted Avery. Her eyes shifted back to her mother’s.
“Not at all, Mother. I suppose you’ll take it upon yourself to arrange a dowry for her.”
The lunch digressed into the usual tired arguments and shallow conversation. Avery was relieved and overjoyed when her mother dropped her off at the clubhouse door.
Nicole dropped Ike off at the sitter’s and returned home ready to dive into a new project. Passing through the kitchen, she admired how well the white roses were holding up. She added water to the vase in the kitchen. As she continued into the dining room, dozen number two greeted her. They were Jason’s idiotic attempt to make amends. When they’d been delivered she almost tossed them all in the trash. Sensibility and her love of all things beautiful won out and she decided they were too stunning not to enjoy.
When they arrived Monday afternoon, she’d had a brief and delusional thought that the flowers were from Aaron. She pulled out the card hurriedly, and when she saw it signed by Jason, her face fell. His card would have been laughable if his actions hadn’t been so disturbing.
Nicole,
Please accept my apology for our misunderstanding.
Jason
The baby’s breath had to go. The smell of it reminded her of the bouquets Ryan was fond of using, first to seduce her then to beg forgiveness. She tossed both the card and the baby’s breath into the garbage.
She’d had a rough day the day before. She spilled a cup of Ike’s fruit punch and the red liquid spreading across the pale tile of her kitchen floor reduced her to a sobbing heap. She’d called her shrink, and once he’d talked her down, he gave her homework. She was supposed to examine her relationship with Ryan.
For years she’d felt like she and Ryan were the real deal, and that their romance was the norm for young love. People were drawn to him—he’d been brilliant, handsome, and dedicated to serving his fellow man. This irresistible combination was potent and she’d easily become addicted to him. They were a classic example of the adage “opposites attract.” His self-confidence bordered on narcissism. Looking back, what she’d thought was passion and found romantic, in hindsight appeared to be possessive and controlling. He’d never been physically abusive to her, but he’d managed to twist her into a tangled mess, nonetheless. Looking back on their relationship, she recognized that he was a master manipulator.
She supposed it was no surprise that she’d gone to such extremes to curry his favor; sleeping with him before she was ready, missing out on a legendary conc
ert she wanted to see to dutifully attend his baseball tournament. Nicole’s father had left when she was small, and the men who came into her mother’s life shuffled out soon after they had arrived.
Daddy issues. I’m such a cliché.
Nicole’s mother had encouraged her relationship with Ryan from the beginning. She deemed him “quite a catch”. When Nicole and Ryan fought, her mother would encourage Nicole to reach out to him and push her to admit fault and apologize. Insightful even as a teen, she’d questioned her mom’s position. Nicole knew early on that her mother’s relationships were totally dysfunctional.
Having had enough of her pity party, she settled in to her computer room. She dug into her newfound jobs. All week long she’d been contacting people who had expressed interest in her work at the clubhouse. So far she had accepted four small decorating gigs—three were single room redesigns, and the fourth was a whole house. These projects were a perfect place to start; her time with Ike was too precious for any bigger time commitment or a more rigid schedule. In addition to these restrictions, she didn’t have any sub-contractors to do any elaborate remodeling projects, but having met Lauren’s husband Jack and seeing his fine craftsmanship in their home, she planned to remedy that soon.
After spending an hour looking through photos of the first job site and playing with paint samples and material swatches, Nicole came to a startling conclusion. Her computer room wouldn’t suit her for long; she needed more space. 30 minutes later, she was going insane from the lack of natural light in the tiny office. She packed up her laptop and the photos and headed to CoffeeSmith’s for a change of scenery.
She pulled up her hood, put on her gloves and headed back out into the overcast day. The leaves were falling and the wind whipped against her as she made the short trip to Lauren’s shop. Autumn had finally arrived, and it seemed they would pay for being so spoiled.
She entered CoffeeSmith’s and saw that the lunch crowd had come and gone. Two straggler tourists were sitting halfway back, enjoying the river view. Lauren and Jules seemed to be in the process of lunch rush clean up.
“Hey you! We need to talk. I want some gossip…” Lauren whispered the last part.
“I don’t know anything interesting, I’m afraid.” Nicole took the cup she offered, amazed that Lauren had already memorized her favorite drink.
“What is up with Jason? He was here yesterday asking if I had seen you since the fish fry.”
“I have no idea why he’d ask about me.”
“Good. I am rooting for you and Aaron. The sooner Joy stops coming into town, the happier I’ll be.”
“Sorry to disappoint. Nothing going on there either.” Lauren didn’t come out and call her a liar, but it was written all over her face.
“Seriously? Why not?”
Nicole had no idea what to say, so she simply shrugged.
“Hey. Do you think Jack would be interested in partnering up for some remodels? I have zero connections in the area, and he obviously knows his way around a hammer.”
“I’ll ask.” Lauren shrugged and a strange expression crossed her face.
“Do you care if I claim your front table? I need the light.”
“Stay as long as you want. Just know that I am coming over to bug you about Shilah and Avery when I’m done cleaning up. We’re still on for this weekend, right? Do you have a costume?”
“I have something in mind.” Nicole nodded. “You?”
“Oh yeah. Mine is badass.”
Nicole curled up in the overstuffed chair with her swatches and sipped her coffee. She briefly thought about Avery and how she hadn’t heard from her, but pushed it from her mind. Avery had opened a can of worms, and she would have to live with the consequences.
Thirty minutes later, she had her paint colors selected for all three jobs. She had just saved the ideas in a document and started working on the floor plans when she heard Lauren calling out to someone who had come in the side door.
“Special delivery!” Aaron’s voice was distinct. Nicole’s eyes flew wide and all she could think about was how she looked a wreck with her sloppy ponytail, glasses and lack of makeup. Regardless of her appearance, she had no interest in seeing him. She quickly glanced to the side and noticed he had headed directly into the kitchen. She scooped her swatches into her messenger bag, but before she could stand, she heard Lauren and Aaron’s voices growing louder. She held her flooring catalogue up in front of her face, hoping he wouldn’t notice her.
“Hey Nicole!” Lauren’s voice rang out. Nic wanted to die and/or strangle Lauren. She slowly lowered her magazine, as if she’d been deeply engrossed.
“Huh?” As she turned in their direction, she saw Aaron whip his head around in her direction. He looked startled at her unexpected presence and seemed as reluctant to see her as she was to see him.
“Look who’s here. Small world.” Lauren looked excited, as if she were about to witness something monumental.
“Oh, hey.” Nicole looked briefly at him and then placed her closed laptop into her bag.
“Hi.” She heard him reply and glanced his way as she continued to pack up. He walked in her direction. She felt her heart pounding a betraying rhythm and was furious with herself for letting him affect her that way after he’d rejected her.
As he sat down on the matching chair across from her, Nicole closed her magazine and tossed it on the table. She peeked to her right to see Lauren suddenly very concerned with cleaning the counter closest to them. She looked back to Aaron, who was leaning forward in his chair looking her directly in the eye.
“Listen, Nicki. I think we need to talk.”
“Please don’t call me that.” Ryan had hated the nickname and hearing it now made her nauseous. Aaron look stunned, and she felt bad, quickly changing her approach.
“We’re cool. No worries.” She shrugged and put her magazine into her bag. She could feel her cheeks growing hot, but fought to keep a straight face. Knowing that Lauren was spying on them was not half as embarrassing as having to hear his version of “it’s not you, it’s me.”
She zipped the bag and her eyes shifted back to him again. Other than a slight tilt of his head, he hadn’t moved. Not knowing what else to do or say, she pushed up her glasses and waited.
“Fine,” he said suddenly, sitting back. “But I believe you promised me a tour of your place.”
“You’ve seen it,” she whispered as she blushed harder. His dimples appeared and he raised an eyebrow.
“Only the kitchen and the lights were out.” Fortunately, he also seemed aware Lauren was hovering and his voice was barely audible. Nicole continued to pack her paraphernalia, but she shivered involuntarily at the memory of him hard against her.
“How about now?” He continued in response to her silence.
“All right,” she replied after another small pause. She felt Lauren’s eyes on them as he picked up her laptop bag and headed to the front door. Nicole quickly followed and Aaron held the door for her.
“See ya!” Lauren called in a singsong tone after them. Nicole cringed.
Neither of them spoke as they walked down Main Street. A couple of trucks honked and waved to them, and Nicole shook her head. She’d forgotten how friendly everyone was with each other here and wondered how quickly word would spread that Aaron had been spotted entering her house. This thought weighed heavily on her as she led him up the front steps from Main, past her fire pit, and onto the porch. As she unlocked the door, he laughed.
“I guess it’s probably safe for us to talk now. Unless you think she’s bugged your place.”
“Just before you showed up, she said she was ‘rooting for us.’ I think this situation has already spiraled out of control,” Nicole replied as they crossed the threshold.
His expression was hard to read, but his attention shifted to her décor.
“Wow. I can’t believe how different this looks.”
“You’ve been here before?”
“Yeah. A buddy of mine
used to rent the place a couple of years ago.” It was his turn to tour her home and she didn’t accompany him upstairs to the bedrooms. She hadn’t made her bed, and she tried not to let it embarrass her. She racked her brain, as she tried to remember if she’d left her bra and panties on the floor. Nervously wiping off the kitchen counters, she heard him coming down the stairs behind her. She heard a thump and realized as he muttered a swear word that he’d hit his head on the low ceiling of the stairs. She smirked as she grabbed two sodas from the fridge.
“I guess you did learn something at that design school.”
“Gee, thanks,” she replied, and turned to find him standing dangerously close to her. She handed him a soda and led him into the living room. When she took a seat on the couch, she was relieved that he took a seat across the room on her loveseat.
“About Saturday night. I owe you an apology. Or at least an explanation.” He looked uncomfortable, but met her eyes. She shook her head adamantly.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you. I, of all people, know how it feels to be cheated on.” She noticed his face contort in surprise.
“So … you knew?”
“I may have made some poor choices, but I’m not an idiot, Aaron.”
He looked out the window, staring intently at nothing. “And you stayed with him…”
“Okay, so I am an idiot, but I don’t want to be that girl.” He looked at her pensively and shook his head. Nicole thought he looked exasperated, as if she were speaking another language.
“Joy’s not the issue here. It’s Ryan.”
She was stunned, but quickly recovered.
“Funny, I don’t see him here.” Nicole’s felt anger building within her.
“He was like my brother, Nic. Just because we weren’t speaking for the last year of his life doesn’t erase all the years before that. You chose him, and it took me a lot of time to make peace with that. Then I caught him…” He trailed off and shook his head. “I can’t believe you knew.”
Nicole hadn’t expected this conversation and fought to form a sentence. Aaron had never before said out loud that he wanted her.
The Perpetual Quest for the Perfect Life Page 9