She’s going be the death of me, he thought as he tore up the stairs after her.
Nicole stretched and opened her eyes. Remembering where she was, she sat straight up in the bed. The night before played out in her mind and dread overwhelmed her. She fell back into the pillows and groaned aloud. Searching the room for a clock she gasped when she saw it was 9:00 A.M. She threw back the comforter and started for the door.
Please be asleep. She silently chanted the phrase like a mantra as she cracked opened the door and peeked out. The houseboat was silent. She held her breath as she crept toward the living room area.
“Nicole’s here.” She heard Colin say in a mischievous manner.
“Bullshit.” It sounded like his brother with him.
“No, for real, dude.”
“You’re in way over your head, boy’o,” Sean sounded alarmed.
She crept toward the side exit, but Colin’s voice rang out.
“Nicole!” She nearly jumped out of her skin. Turning toward the fireplace, she saw Colin and Sean standing by the fire, sipping coffee. Sean’s eyes flew comically wide and he gaped at her.
“I’m just heading out.” She turned and continued in the direction of the exit.
“Hey, wait.” Colin hurried to her. He placed a hand on the small of her back and accompanied her to the door.
“I had a really good time hanging out with you last night.” He kept the volume down, his tone serious. To her horror, he was just as handsome in the light of day.
And I didn’t sleep with him. What the hell is wrong with me?
“Me too.” Nicole’s mouth was dry and she wished they didn’t have an audience. Colin pulled his cell phone from his back pocket and presented it to her.
“Can I get your number?’
“For?”
He looked at her as if she were being silly.
“I thought I would call you for lunch … or dinner … or drinks…”
She considered for a moment and her sober mind shouted at her that she was a moron. Her reservations regarding Aaron seemed a distant memory. She remembered the sight of Joy draped across him the night before. She took the phone and looked up at him from under her lashes, trying to discern his level of interest. He tilted his head to the side, his eyes insistent. She plugged in the number.
“Let me give you a ride home.” Colin smiled victoriously and handed her coat to her. He reached for his coat and started to put it on.
“I’m going that way. I’ll take her,” Sean interrupted in his booming voice. “Dad needs you at the pub, remember?” Colin looked at his brother like he wanted to clobber him, but shrugged.
“I’ll call you,” Colin called after her as they made their way across the dock to Sean’s car. As soon as they climbed in, Sean looked at her, his expression simultaneously curious and judging.
“Nothing happened.” She knew she sounded defensive.
“Okay.” Sean raised an eyebrow at her venomous tone.
She sighed and her shoulders slumped. “Sorry. I’m just tired.”
“It’s none of my business.” Sean shrugged.
“I can tell what you think by the dirty looks.”
“I was thinking about my brother.” He turned to look at her, his exasperation written all over his face.
“Huh?”
“Picturing Colin getting his ass kicked and ending up in intensive care.”
“What are you talking about?’
“Aaron.”
“Oh my God, this again? There is nothing going on between me and Aaron. He’s got a girlfriend!” Nicole ran her hands through her hair. Sick and tired of seeing and hearing about Aaron, she closed her eyes. The perception that he had somehow marked her as his territory made her livid. Suddenly Lauren’s ravings from the night before didn’t seem so ludicrous. She felt embarrassed and backed into a corner.
“Pull over,” Nicole demanded.
“Nicole,” Sean began.
“Don’t make me use my rape whistle, Sean!”
She nearly laughed at his expression, as he slowed the car down and pulled to the side of the road, but she was too infuriated.
“Please don’t say anything to anyone. You know how fast stuff spreads. Thanks for the ride.” Nicole clambered out of the car and slammed the door shut. She continued up the hill, lost in her thoughts.
There was no need for Aaron to look out for her anymore. He was so busy watching over her for Ryan that he hadn’t noticed that it had been Ryan she’d needed protecting from. Ryan was dead and buried and she no longer had the need for his faithful sidekick. She was a grown woman. A mother, for God’s sake. Somehow this ‘damsel in distress’ had managed to raise a fatherless baby alone in the city and Ike was doing just fine. Slowly, she felt herself shifting from anger to numbness. She’d fluctuated between these two states for as long as she could remember. She knew what her shrink would say, so she tried to examine her feelings and behaviors.
Things were rough when Ryan left for college, and Nicole remembered feeling like she’d lost her purpose. Then he dumped her over the phone in November of her junior year in high school. The hour drive and two-year age difference were his excuses, but Nicole knew he just wanted to play the field.
She spent the next few months crying, growing out a shitty breakup haircut, and sketching in her room. Aaron stopped by with bad beer as contraband. He told her she was better off, brushed off her clumsy passes, and made her laugh—but then he was off again. He was a college man and going places. Life moved on for everyone but Nicole.
Her mother had been saving up for a home remodel and enlisted Nic’s help. The project was an unexpected inspiration for Nicole to use her creativity and sparked her interest in design schools. Since then she’d never wavered; design was what she’d been born to do.
The more her mood improved, the more she let Avery pull her back out into the high school social scene. The result was her romp with Jason. This disaster kept her from casually dating anyone else, and she’d spent many more weeks listening to punk rock and ska while reupholstering furniture that year.
As summer wore on, Avery declared she’d had it with her “simpering fuckery” and twisted her arm to come out on the Fourth of July. Jefferson Point had a huge fireworks display over the water, a lighted boat parade, and an infamous tug of war against the town on the Illinois side of the Mississippi. Main Street was saturated with food vendors, activities, and rides. Kids with painted faces ran wild and Nicole’s focus had been on the toothless carnie making obscene gestures at her as they rode the Tilt-a-whirl, when she spotted Ryan and Aaron. She hadn’t seen Ryan since the breakup, and his bright smile and confident gait may as well have been a spotlight in the crowd. Trapped on the ride with Avery and a couple other friends, she struggled to make herself invisible. Like a magnet, Ryan’s attention turned to her. He watched her twirl on the ride, and his expression shifted in awe. His intensity hadn’t faded. The ride ended and the guys approached and greeted their group. Avery pulled her away from them and icily instructed Ryan to stay the hell away from her friend, but later that night his lips were on hers as they ignored the fireworks.
Her senior year of high school they maintained their long distance relationship, but it seemed like she spent more time with Aaron when she was in Iowa City than with Ryan. His pre-med course load was grueling and he spent a ton of time in the library and at study groups. Aaron used “the power of the dimples” to score Nic a perfect fake ID and took her to the Airliner for pizza and beer.
Med school took Ryan to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. His passion for the Minnesota Vikings still intact, Ryan was so psyched to be close. Though Aaron’s business degree took him to St. Louis for a job, they began a tradition of buying season passes and attending as many games together as they could. Nicole was off at the Art Institute of Chicago, and Avery stayed close to home, attending St. Ambrose University, studying public relations. Nic and Ryan talked on the phone every three days and saw each other once a month
. It was an odd time for Nicole, but living in the city alone was a breath of fresh air. She found herself looking around at the people she met and the relationships they had, and questioning the sanity of her own.
Not long before she graduated college, Aaron had come to visit her in Chicago. She dragged him around the museums and Navy Pier. They’d had a blast, rating pizza (which they consumed for breakfast, lunch and dinner) and she had butterflies when he put his arm around her while on a chilly boat ride on Lake Michigan. The last night of his stay, they went to see one of her favorite bands, Spoon. Though Aaron had always given her tons of crap about her musical taste, she hadn’t had to twist his arm. The band rocked live, and Aaron grudgingly admitted the show was great. They were both tipsy and once back in her tiny apartment, she insisted he sleep in her bed, not on her lumpy couch. Things had gotten a bit out of hand. They’d stopped short of “doing the deed” but had definitely crossed the line. Aaron left early the next morning; he seemed embarrassed and remorseful. It made her cringe when she imagined facing him after that, and Nicole decided the time had come to make a clean break. She started making plans to join her mom, who had since relocated to Miami. She just had another month of school to get through.
Avery insisted on throwing her a graduation dinner, and Ryan popped the question in front of everyone present. Avery and Aaron both proposed a toast, so it was obvious that they already knew it was coming. Her mother was overjoyed, and even Ryan’s parents seemed happy. Saying no hadn’t even seemed like an option. Now that she’d earned her degree, it was an expectation that she would put on a white dress and go through the motions according to Ryan’s master plan.
Nicole realized that it had begun to rain and her teeth chattered. With the cold rain beating down on her, she felt as numb physically as she was emotionally.
Numb…for so long.
She knew it was time. Convinced she was ready to finally move on, she texted Colin.
Nicole: I had a great time too. Let’s do lunch
Coming around the garage and into the yard, she saw Shilah dump water on the fire pit.
“Good morning!” He raised the water jug in the air, smiling from ear to ear. Nicole gave him a small wave.
“Is Avery still here?”
“She’s inside finishing laundry.” Shilah dumped the rest of the water.
“Laundry?” Perplexed, Nicole headed for the house.
Nicole climbed the steps of the porch with Shilah behind her.
“Nicole’s home!” He cried out, causing Nicole to jump and hold her chest. She found Avery in the kitchen. Relief overcame her when she saw her place was spotless, and seemingly no damage had occurred in her absence.
“Hey. Please say everyone’s gone.”
“Everyone but us,” Avery replied. “Hey. Your bedding is in the dryer.”
Nicole’s eyes shifted from Avery to Shilah, who seemed to suppress a smile. As she looked at Avery again, she noticed that what she first thought was a blush looked more like stubble burn.
“Well, at least someone is getting some use out of that bed.”
Avery looked surprised and Shilah threw his head back and laughed.
“You made coffee. You’re a goddess.” Nicole grabbed a cup.
“We’re thinking of going out for breakfast. You want to come?” Shilah asked. Without pause, Nicole shook her head.
“I need a shower before I go pick up my son.” Nicole ached for Ike. He was the only man in the world she felt sure about.
Aaron rubbed his arms in a hopeless attempt to stay warm as he whistled for Castle.
“Can you hurry your ass up, dog?” Pleasantly surprised at his lack of hangover, the drizzle was soaking him to the bone. Castle reappeared at the edge of the brush and she quickly took the stairs, shaking off right at his feet.
“Seriously? I knew I should have trained you to use the toilet.” He grabbed a towel and began to dry her off inside the back door. He felt guilty for snapping at her. She had very little to do with his bad mood. He had literally woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or to be more specific, he’d woken up upside down in the bed, with Joy naked and draped across him.
The night before by the fire, Joy had apologized for pushing the issue of moving in together. She acted contrite, nearly crying as she explained how strongly she felt for him and how her jealousy of Nicole caused her to lash out. It was at that moment that he saw Nicole leaving the party with Colin fucking O’Connell. He was thankful that Joy had been on his lap and he’d been stumbling drunk, because the instinct to kick Colin’s ass had been pretty overwhelming.
Joy’s persistent advances continued, and it wasn’t long before she was driving him home and pouncing on him. Mid-stroke, Nicole’s hurt and confused expression popped into his mind and he couldn’t shake her image. He tried to shrug it off (even tried closing his eyes and picturing Joy as Nicole) but it backfired, and he felt himself deflate like a popped balloon. Joy had made a valiant effort to re-arouse his interest, but to no avail. Not long after, he passed out.
He peeked in his bedroom door to make sure she was still asleep. Her perfect naked body and wild bed hair caused him to shake his head.
I must be defective. If the guys hear about this they’ll confiscate my man-card!
Aaron climbed onto the bed and lay down beside her. Watching her sleep, he kicked himself for being an asshole and for the utter lack of emotion he had for her. He’d strung her along and let the situation get way out of hand. She was trying to plan for a future with him that would never happen. It was time to cowboy up and end things before he did any more damage.
“Joy,” his voice sounded loud and firm. Her eyes flew open and she gasped.
“Shit, Aaron. You scared the hell out of me.” She looked pissed.
Good, this will make this conversation a whole lot easier.
“I need you to pay attention to what I have to say.” Aaron knew Joy well enough to know that he would need to be harsh with her. With an exasperated sigh, she sat up and yanked the blankets around herself. She waited expectantly.
“My head wasn’t in the right place last night.”
“I guess this is where I’m supposed to tell you not to worry, and that it happens to everyone,” she snarked at him. Aaron had to suppress a smile.
Of course she thinks I’m talking about the sex, or lack thereof. That’s all we ever had together.
“It’s time we admit things aren’t working. I don’t want to do this anymore.” He sat up and waited for the fall out. To his surprise, she just eyed him with annoyance.
“You don’t want to do this anymore? Screw you, Aaron! You never tried. It’s time I find a real man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to take it.” She climbed out of bed and began to dress. Aaron had to admit, she had a point. He needed to get his head together, but he was sure he didn’t want her.
“I can’t believe I wasted so much time on you.” She had her costume back on now, and what had looked sexy as hell the night before seemed ridiculous and sad in the light of day. “I suppose it’s too much to ask for a ride. Gonna leave me hanging again like you did at the fish fry?”
“We’re a little far out in the country for a cab.” He shrugged. Her face contorted, hostile and crazed. She hauled back to smack him and he easily snatched her wrist.
“Save it, Joy. Let’s go.”
When the waitress came to their table with the check, Avery and Shilah both put their hands on it at the same time.
“I invited you, remember?” Shilah murmured and Avery lifted her hand with a shrug. She felt better with food in her stomach, though she desperately needed to sleep. Shilah looked all bright-eyed and well rested.
“Do you have plans for the rest of the day?” He looked at her as he wiped his mouth on a napkin. Avery saw her checklist in her mind. It was all minor tasks that she could do in little or no time.
“Nothing crucial. Why?”
“Why don’t you be my tour guide and show me around the
Point.”
“The Point? I can tell you’ve been here for a while now. Well, that should take approximately five minutes. What do you want to do with the rest of your day?”
“You’re pretty sassy when you’ve been up all night. Maybe I should just take you home and tuck you into bed.”
“That’s tempting. I am tired.”
“Have another cup of coffee. I want to go to the Riverboat museum.”
Avery thought about her first grade field trip there and took two long drinks of coffee.
“That sounds about as much fun as going to church. I suppose, if you haven’t lived here all your life, it might be interesting.”
“I’ve never been there and it does look interesting. Will you come?”
“Sure.”
When they entered the museum, a sign at the door informed them that the next tour began in ten minutes. Shilah immediately approached the wall of photographs from 100 years ago. Having seen it all before ad nauseam, Avery checked Facebook from her phone. Lauren had posted many unfortunate pictures from her phone the night before, and Avery got more concerned with each picture she scrolled through. The third picture in the album was of Paige and Hooker Boots. Lauren had typed a caption that said, “Look! Whores!”
The museum was silent and Avery covered her face with her shirt to keep from laughing. Shilah turned, and seeing her reaction, came to peek over her shoulder.
“Is that me? What am I doing? More importantly, what is Jack doing?” In the picture, Shilah was leaning over the table speaking to someone off camera. Jack appeared to be creeping up behind him and looked as if he was about to mount Shilah from behind. Meanwhile, Jules flipped the camera off in the background.
They scrolled to the following picture and both erupted in fits of laughter. The museum curator entered the room and fixed them with a stern look.
“Sorry, ma’am.” Shilah barely choked out the word between sidesplitting laughs. The woman turned and left the room.
The Perpetual Quest for the Perfect Life Page 15