“You know, you’re gonna get worms eating weird shit like that,” I teased, laughing, then gagged again.
“Oh, I hope not! It wouldn’t be good for the baby,” she said, smiling, with peanut butter sticking to her front teeth. My eyes grew wide and my mouth dropped open at the same time.
“What? Did you say baby?” I yelled. Natalee quickly covered my mouth with her hand. The smell of peanut butter and pickles on her hand was enough to send me running to the bathroom.
Natalee laughed as she followed me into the bathroom. “I thought I was supposed to be the one getting sick, not you!” She snorted, leaning against the sink with a huge grin on her face. I cupped a handful of water and used it to rinse out my mouth before grabbing a paper towel to wipe the water and sweat off my face.
I shook my head in disgust as we walked back to the cafeteria.
“So when are you due?” I kept my voice down low so that no one could hear. A huge smile spread across her face.
“Nuh, huh, huh ... not until you tell me first what’s been bothering you.”
UGH! She had to bring it up again. For the last ten minutes all I could think about was her and the baby and the smell of the nasty sandwich. I forgot all about Cory and how miserable I felt, but now it all came pouring back.
“What do you want to know?” I asked, grabbing the crumbled looking bag and covered up the other sandwich so that I couldn’t see it. Natalee laughed.
“What happened? One minute you were on stage with that hunky guy name Cory and heading back stage with him, then you come to school the next day in a blue funk and you’ve been that way ever since. I grabbed the cap that belonged to her orange juice bottle and played with it to keep me distracted as she ate the other funky sandwich.
I honestly didn’t know what to say to her or how to begin. All I could think about was how Cory would look at me with his dark brown eyes just before he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. I sucked in a deep, jagged breath trying not to cry.
“Annie! What’s wrong? Are you going to cry?” Natalee asked, setting her half eaten sandwich down on the table and slid her chair next to mine so that she could put her arm around me.
“Oh, Nat! I’m a stupid, stupid girl,” I sobbed. A stupid, fat girl is what I really wanted to say. I hated being fat, but worse, I hated being so self-conscious. If I hadn’t hated my fat body so much I would probably be Cory’s girlfriend by now.
Just as I was about to pour my heart out and tell Natalee about Cory the bell rang for our next class. I quickly helped Natalee gather her lunch, pitching the empty sandwich bags in the garbage while holding my breath at the same time. I didn’t want to have to make another trip to the restroom.
“Annie, meet me after school. I’ll take you home so we can talk some more and, besides, there’s something that I want to ask you,” she said as we walked to class. A huge grin spread across her face before turning around to walk down the hall. I stood in the middle of the hall watching the other students hurrying to get to the next class. My feet were frozen to the floor as people were bumping and pushing me to get out of the way. Tears trickled down my cheeks, as all I could think about was Cory.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I hadn’t eaten or slept decently in days and I was sick and tired of crying all the time. I knew the only way that I was going to get out of this deep blue funk was to face my fears and find Cory and apologize to him.
I ran to my locker, grabbed my backpack and keys, then hurried and snuck out the front doors of the school before the final bell rang. I texted Molly, telling her that I wasn’t feeling well and that I went home early. I told her that if she couldn’t find a ride home that I would pick her up at three o’clock.
As I pulled out of the school parking lot, my legs shook like a leaf. Adrenaline was pumping through me. Not only was this the first time I snuck out of my school, but I was going to see Cory face to face.
My heart was thumping hard against my chest as I turned into the parking lot of the Civic Center. A thousand questions started brewing in my mind. What if he isn’t here? Then what? Should I go to his house? I knew where he lived, having overheard Molly telling one of her friends the other day in history class. She told her friend Eve that Cory lived on Anderson Street. I also heard her tell Eve that she had lost another ten pounds, thanks to Cory and his Zumba classes.
I took a deep breath and pulled into the crowded parking lot, then quickly threw the truck into park and looked around for Cory’s silver Mustang. My heart sank within my chest when I didn’t see it parked anywhere.
“DAMN IT!” I spat, smacking the steering wheel with my fist. I had finally worked up the nerve to come here and pour out my heart to him and he wasn’t here. I grudgingly shoved the key back into the ignition and looked up, when something caught my eye. A silver Mustang. It was pulling into a parking spot two rows over. My heart sputtered as I waited to see if it was Cory. I held my breath as the silver door slowly opened. For a moment, I was completely unaware of my surroundings as I watched him step out of his car. He was wearing black sweatpants and a grey hooded sweatshirt and he looked hot.
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! What girl in her right mind would pass up someone as gorgeous as Cory? Me! That’s who! The fat chick sitting here in the red truck, the girl with the word MORON painted on her forehead.
I watched him walk across the parking lot toward the back entrance door of the Civic Center. NOW, ANNIE! DO IT NOW! My brain was telling me to go, but my legs wouldn’t move. They felt like jell-o or maybe it was anchors? Either way, I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed at the thought of running after him. What if I tripped and fell? I would look like the Pillsbury doughboy rolling across the parking lot. Or worse ... what if he blows me off, pretending that I don’t exist? I don’t know if my heart could take that kind of rejection right now, even though I deserved it.
I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath, then opened the door. He was just a few feet away from the entrance door. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to walk fast enough to catch him in time. The only way that I was going to get his attention was to holler his name. I swallowed the hard lump that suddenly formed in the back of my throat.
“CORY!”
Gosh, I sounded like a wounded dog barking his own name. My face turned three shades of red when I saw him turn around and look my way. I was afraid to holler again, so I waved for him to come over to me.
My legs felt like they were going to give out from under me as I watched him walk toward me. I tried to read his facial expression, a cross between confusion and agitation. This made me even more nervous. Great, now he’s pissed. I knew that this was a stupid idea and that now I’m going to have my heart broken all over again. I’m just a glutton for punishment.
“Annie! What are you doing here?” Cory’s tone was somber. It wasn’t the tone that I was looking for. Part of me was hoping that he would come running and swoop me up in his arms and kiss me with his warm lips, but the scowl on his face told me it wasn’t going to happen.
Swallowing another lump, I decided to just go for it and pour my heart out to him. “I ... I ... came by t ... to talk to you,” I stammered, feeling my face growing hot. I want to die ... just die, I thought to myself.
“Well, let’s go to my office. It’s too cold to be standing out here.” He ordered. Is it cold? I hadn’t realized. My mind had been too preoccupied by his lips, his hair, his tight muscles and the scowl on his face.
We walked side by side across the parking lot and through the side door. I could feel the electricity charging between us and I wondered if he could feel it, too, or maybe it was just my imagination.
I hadn’t realized how cold I was until we walked inside the warm building. My legs and hands were shaking as I followed him through the gymnasium to his office that was stationed at the other end of the building. There was another exercise class going on. It must have been for senior citizens because the room was filled with short, grey-haired women and a few balding men. A
middle age woman with red hair was standing in the front of the small group. She had her hands on her hips, slowly swaying back and forth. The music was much more laid back, not fast and upbeat like the first night I went to Cory’s Zumba class.
“Have a seat,” he said roughly, closing the door behind me. My heart stopped when he leaned over me, brushing his chest against my shoulder to close the window blinds behind me. I watched him carefully as he took his grey sweatshirt off and hung it over the back of his chair. The dark green t-shirt he was wearing beneath fit snug against his hard chest and arms. I inhaled a deep breath as he sat down in the chair behind his desk then turned to look at me.
His dark hair was a tousled mess as he stared at me with his dark mysterious eyes—mysterious because I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Cory’s eyebrows were pulled together and his lips were curled into a small smile.
“So Annie, are you going to tell me why you’re here?” Cory asked carefully.
I bowed my head down to stare at my hands that were still shaking, then quickly clapped them together so that he couldn’t see how nervous I was.
“Umm ... I wanted to stop by ... and tell you ... I mean apologize for my behavior ... (clearing throat) ... um ... before,” I stammered, nearly jumping out of my seat at the sound of his chair scraping across the hard wax floor.
“You know, if you’re going to apologize to someone the least you could do is to look them in the eyes and show that you mean it,” he said, not making this easy for me. Furious, I snapped my head up and gasped when I saw that he was standing directly in front of me.
“What ... what do you mean ‘show you that I mean it?’ You want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness?” I asked, glaring at him. “Well, I’m sorry, Buck-O, but that’s not going to happen.” I stood up from the chair and turned to walk out the door, but he quickly stood in front of me, blocking me with his huge, masculine body.
“Buck-O?” He chuckled. “Hmmm ... I think I like that,” Cory said, chuckling again. A small grin formed across my face, but I quickly erased it and forced myself to glare at him.
“Will you please let me go?” I ordered through my teeth.
“Hmmm ... no. Not yet. I don’t think that’s all you came to say,” he contrived.
“GAH! So ... what? You have ESP now? I came to apologize and that’s it! If you think I came to say something else, then why don’t you tell me what I was going to say, Mr. Know It All,” I spat with as much sarcasm as I could muster.
Cory laughed, then replied, “My God. You are a pistol. First you don’t want anything to do with me and now here you are ... supposing to apologize.”
I could feel my face getting hotter by the minute. I was getting severely agitated. This whole conversation was not going as planned at all. I knew him kissing me on the lips again was wishful thinking, but arguing ... I certainly didn’t expect this.
“Oh My God! Are you that conceited or what? For your information…..Buck-O! I did come here to apologize. Just because you’re good looking and have the most beautiful eyes ... doesn’t mean every girl that walks by you ... (gulp) ... wants you….” But before I could say another word, his lips were devouring mine.
This time I didn’t care that I was a fat, ugly witch and he was the handsome, young prince. This time I wasn’t going to let my insecurities get in the way.
I eagerly wrapped my arms around his neck and twirled my fingers in his hair. Even though this was our fourth kiss, it felt more like our first. There was no holding back, I was giving in to temptation and letting my body feel him, explore him. The way his tongue would explore mine, the way his hands felt hot against my butt as he pressed his hips against mine, the way my breasts felt against his hard chest ... I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.
I hadn’t realized how much I needed or ached for his touch. I knew now that I had been my own worst enemy.
“Come on! Let’s go back to my place,” he breathed into my ear. My heart skipped a beat when he said those words. He grabs his sweatshirt and swung it over his shoulders then grabbed my hand. We practically ran through the gymnasium and out the door, hurrying to get to our cars.
“Where are you going?” he stopped when I let go of his hand to go to my truck.
“I’m following you to your house,” I replied, confused.
“Oh, no you don’t, you’re riding with me. We can pick up your truck later,” he said, then leaned forward and grabbed my hand, pulling me along beside him.
The ride to his house only took ten minutes, but it felt like the longest ten minutes of my life. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. My body was shaking from nervousness, but also with excitement. I was finally letting myself be loved by a man. If he didn’t care that I had a few spare tires, then why should I?
Within minutes we were in the middle of his living room, kissing. His hands felt hot as they tenderly caressed my breasts. My nipples ached for his touch as he continued to fondle them through my shirt. We both moaned as we continued to explore each other’s mouthes with our tongues.
“Do you want to go upstairs?” he breathed into my ear as he slowly began to unbutton my pants. Was this really happening? Did he really want to make love to me? Fat me? I opened my eyes to see him staring at me, waiting for my answer.
“Yes,” I whispered, as he took my hands into his.
Chapter 6
As soon as I said it, I regretted it. The very thought of getting naked in front of Cory was mortifying. It still made me sick to my stomach knowing that he saw my fat, hairy legs and my fat rolls at the hospital that night. But undressing in front of him and having sex? Well, that scared the shit out of me. I wasn’t ready for this. It’s not that I haven’t dreamed about this moment or imagined what he looked like naked. I just wasn’t ready.
Cory grabbed my hand tenderly, pulling me toward the stairs. “Cory, wait! Maybe we shouldn’t rush into this,” I said, panicked. My arms and legs began to shake, when Cory turned to look at me. The small smile on his face told me that he understood. Still holding my hand, he turned around and pulled me through the living room to the couch. My heart was beating in my ears as I we both sat down next to each other.
I could feel his eyes watching me as I nervously took the time to look around his living room. It was small, yet cozy. The walls were beige, coordinating with the brown carpet. There was a small fireplace at the right side of the living room, a tan recliner that matched the couch we were sitting on, and a small entertainment stand in the left corner of the room.
There were a few pictures hanging on the wall, but one I assumed was his family hanging above the fireplace.
“Is that your family?” I asked, letting go of his hand to walk over to the large portrait that was trim with a gold frame. My breathing became shallow when he stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Yes, that’s my family. That’s my mother, Gale, and my father, Chris, and my younger brother Tony,” he said, pointing them out. “And of course the dorky looking one is me.” He chuckled lightly. I knew right away which boy was him, recognizing his dark hair and dimples.
“You’re not dorky,” I replied, chuckling. “How old were you in this picture?” Besides the fact that he looked younger, in his teens and the cabana style clothing, I knew that the photo had to have been taken in the eighties.
Cory laughed then replied, “I was only fourteen.” It startled me when I felt him press his chin against my shoulder.
“But ... the clothes ... ” I laughed, pointing at the retro style print on his shirt. I could feel the heat from Cory’s hands as he held me tightly against him.
“I know, please don’t remind me,” he replied as he continued to laugh. “My parents were stuck in the eighties. I’m surprised they didn’t make Tony and I wear our hair like the dudes from Flock of Seagulls.” I turned around and shot him a surprised look before busting out laughing.
“Are you serious? Were they that bad?” I covered my mouth to
keep from laughing hysterically.
“Hmmm ... let’s see ... oh ... once, we were at my cousin’s wedding and my parents decided to break dance and the worst part was they tried to coax Tony and me to join them. I got out of it by pretending that I had to use the bathroom, but poor Tony ... ” My eyes grew wide as I watched him shake his head in defeat.
“Oh, my God! Your poor brother.” I laughed until the muscles in my stomach ached. “Please stop,” I pleaded as he pretended to break dance across the living room floor. His muscles twitched under his shirt as he pretended to do robot moves.
“Come on, Annie! Moon walk with me,” he coaxed, laughing, then grabbed my hands to join him as he slid across the floor backwards.
“Cory, you’re killing me here!” I said, laughing, then sat down on the couch, holding my stomach. He came over and stood in front of me, doing the wave with his arms.
“Would you like a drink?” Cory asked when he finally quit dancing.
“Sure,” I replied, then he pulled me from the couch as if I only weighed a few pounds and we walked into the kitchen, hand in hand. I snickered when I saw that his kitchen was decorated with roosters.
“I know, I know! My mother decorated the kitchen. She loves roosters and thought that if my kitchen looked the same as hers, it would remind me of home.” He shook his head and laughed as he poured us glasses of iced tea.
“Hmmm ... are you a Mamma’s boy?” I teased, grabbing my tea glass from the counter. He turned around to face me, his eyebrow arched high into his forehead.
“Hmmm, I would like to be your boy,” he replied in a throaty voice. Then he took a step closer so that our faces were inches apart. I took a deep breath through my nose, getting a whiff of his manly soap smell.
I raised my eyebrows, imitating him, “Hmmmm ... I’m not sure that would be possible,” I replied and watched as his eyes grew wide. I took another drink of tea. The expression on his face changed multiple times until he came to the conclusion that I was teasing him.
Fat Chances Page 6