He walks around the valley entrance, searching for a trace of the girl, but from his hanging shoulders it’s easy to see that she’s evaded us. It would have been far too easy.
He looks so disappointed that I feel like I have to do something. Only when I’m standing naked in front of him do I notice that maybe it’s just Orson who’s sad, not Ràn. But it’s too late, I’ve shifted and now I’ve made my intentions clear. There’s only one reason why I’d shift to human in this moment. And that reason is Ràn.
I stretch out a hand and approach the bear. His beautiful dark brown fur blends into the night, but his eyes are glistening with moonlight. He’s beautiful in his own, furry, big way. He watches me cautiously. I’m having to keep reminding myself that this isn’t just Ràn, the man I’ve slept with. It’s also his bear, who doesn’t like to be touched. Or is it Ràn who doesn’t like it? I really need him to tell me at some point. If I know why he can’t stand human touch while he’s in his bear shape, I can maybe do something about it. Help him.
It breaks my heart to see how he watches me as if I’m about to do something bad. I could never hurt him and I’m sure he knows it. That he flinches away from me now is instinct. I hope.
I pull back and cross my arms in front of my chest. Even with my new bear abilities, standing naked in the snow is a little cold. This was a bad idea. I’m making a fool of myself. Silly, silly Isla.
I turn around in order to shift back, to let Alis take over and sink into humiliation.
A hand touches my shoulder and this time I’m the one to flinch. I didn’t even hear him approach. For someone so big, he moves very quietly.
“What’s wrong?” he asks in his deep, grumbly voice, and nudges me to turn around. My ovaries faint when I do. Of course he’s naked, I should know that, but seeing it... him... in the flesh. Oh Isla, stop being so swoony.
There’s nothing wrong about appreciating his masculinity, Alis reassures me drily and I am tempted to throw her out of my head.
Go away, Alis! This is private!
Oh darling, nothing is private, you should know that by now.
Despite her words, she disappears, leaving me and Ràn alone.
“What’s wrong?” he asks again, lifting my chin so I look straight into his dark eyes.
“Nothing,” I mumble. “I just felt a little silly, shifting like that.”
He laughs. “You’re not silly. You’re delicious.”
He clears his throat and even in the darkness, I can see a faint blush cover his cheeks.
“Not delicious...”
I chuckle as he searches for the right word.
“... appetising?”
My giggles turn into laughter.
“Tempting?”
I stand on my toes and press my lips against his, shutting him up before he can say anything else. I’d rather not think of myself as a tasty morsel this bear is planning to enjoy. I want to do this on my own terms.
He responds by wrapping his arms around me, but his lips stay closed. I nudge him with my tongue, making it obvious that I want more than just my lips on his, but he doesn’t react.
What’s wrong? From the way he holds me and the bulge pressing against my naked belly, it’s clear that he wants me. Then why isn’t he kissing me properly?
I end the kiss before it’s even started and look at him questioningly.
“You didn’t let me finish,” he whispers and I raise my eyebrows. Seriously?
I sigh. “What were you going to say that’s so important?”
He smiles bearishly. “Mine.”
Then his mouth is all I can think about as he kisses me with passion, his hands roaming over my back, his tongue invading me, his whole being surrounding me. I melt into his kiss, my lips moving without my doing. This is primal, nothing more, nothing less.
Somehow, we end up rolling in the snow, never-ending our kiss as we explore each other’s bodies, even when he enters me and we begin to move in synchrony with each other. Our moans combine into a song of love, higher and louder with every thrust.
The snow around us begins to melt when we come together, entwined in body and mind.
Five
I’ve not always been the quiet one, you know.”
I’m wrapped in his warm arms, the snow around us long gone, melted by the heat of our bodies.
I’m not cold, nor wet, somehow the ground has dried while we were rolling around on it. I should be covered in mud but I’m not. This island is strange. Or maybe it’s the shifter magic affecting us.
I stay quiet, giving him time to tell me what he’s obviously wanting to get off his chest. In the past few days, he’s become less grumpy and more open. I like seeing this side of him; it’s very different from the Ràn I got to know back in the hut when all he’d say were one-word sentences. Of course, he’s not talking as much as Húnn and I doubt he’ll ever be as loud and cheery as Finn, but it’s definitely an improvement.
“You probably don’t know this but... Húnn and I are only half-brothers. We’ve got the same mother, but different fathers. At first, Húnn’s father, the man our mother was married to, didn’t know I wasn’t his. So the first few years of my life weren’t too bad. Quite happy, actually. My brother and I have always been close, and with only a year between us, we explored our little world together.”
He pauses and I run my hand over his chest, hoping that he’ll get some comfort from it. Reassurance that I’m here for him, that I’m listening.
“Then I shifted for the first time and it was clear that I wasn’t his.”
“But you look so similar,” I interrupt him. “You almost look like twins!”
“Bear families recognise each other by scent. And once he smelled my bear for the first time, he knew we weren’t related. Of course, he couldn’t tell anyone. The shame would have been too great.”
“But don’t bear females usually take several partners?”
“Yes, but our community had become very human over the years. Human convention had taken over and some men liked being the ones in charge. Like my... Húnn’s father. He was a very dominant man and couldn’t bear the thought that my mother had been with someone else. So while he couldn’t get rid of me, he was able to...”
His voice is starting to tremble and I know that whatever he’s about to tell me must be terrible. I change my position until I’m lying on top of him, hugging him tight.
“He punished me for my mother’s mistake. When I was human, he’d mostly leave me alone, but when I shifted... he couldn’t stand my scent. I learned to spend most of my time away from the house, but sometimes he’d find me hiding in the woods... He’d chain me to a tree, far away from the village where nobody could hear me. There are scars beneath my fur from where he whipped me. And even though most have healed...”
A tear drops on his naked chest and I notice I’m crying. The image of a young Ràn chained to a tree, being whipped until he’s bloody - fury fills me. How can anyone abuse an innocent child? A bear cub who’s done nothing wrong?
“Isla, your claws.”
My fingernails have lengthened and are pressing on Ràn’s skin.
“Oops, sorry,” I whisper, mortified. I could have hurt him. I really need to get this partial shifting thing under control.
“It’s okay, it takes a while to get used to the shift. Especially as you didn’t learn it as a child.”
Now he’s the one comforting me - that’s so wrong.
“What happened to him? Húnn’s father?”
“We killed him,” Ràn says matter-of-fact and I stare at him in shock.
“You killed him?”
He sighs. “One day when we were teenagers, Húnn came upon his father... hurting me. It wasn’t the whip that time. No, it was much worse. A different sort of pain. And humiliation. I think Húnn knew that something was going on, but I believe until then he thought that all his father did was bully me. When he saw him with his trousers down and me chained to a tree... he went feral. He slashe
d open his father’s back in a single paw strike, then released me. I was so embarrassed... scared... I ran away, planning to leave for good, but Húnn didn’t let me. He followed me, he comforted me, and eventually persuaded me to return with him. When we got back to where it had all happened, his father was lying in a pool of blood, dead. We’d killed him. There were no regrets; we only came back to finish the deed after all. I think we shoved him into a fjord, his clothes laden with stones. But it’s all a bit hazy... I’ve been trying so hard to forget, but as soon as someone human touches my bear... it all comes back.”
“I promise I will never do that again,” I whisper but he shakes his head.
“No, it’s different with you. I just have to get used to the idea that it won’t hurt when you touch me.”
“It hurts when others do it?”
“Not physically. Or maybe. Kind of. I think it’s like the echo of my past pain. It’s all in my head but I can’t get it out of there.”
“Maybe it’ll get better, in time.”
He sighs. “Maybe. I just wanted to tell you, so you know it isn’t you. I’m not flinching away from you. Never. Just from ghosts of the past.”
I stretch until I’m looking straight into his eyes.
“Thank you for telling me,” I whisper, my lips closing in on his. “It means a lot.”
To prove it, I kiss him, gently, lovingly. He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me in a better position. Now I’m lying on top of him, my chest on his, my thighs on his growing erection. I think we’re both becoming aware once again that we’re naked. And alone. Nobody is going to disturb us here. Yes, we’ve already had sex not long ago but who’s to say we can’t do it again?
I end the kiss and look at him, squaring my jaw. Am I about to do something stupid?
“Bite me.”
His eyes widen when he realises what I mean.
“You want to bond with me?”
I nod. “You’re mine just as much as Torben is. It shouldn’t be just him who I’m bonded to. I want our connection to be the same.”
He smiles. “Even after what I just told you?”
I give him a quick kiss on the lips. “Especially after that. That you trust me enough to tell me your story... I think that’s proof that we’re ready for this. I want us to be a proper bear shifter couple. Or… well, a pair within a sleuth.” I grimace. “I still need to find a better word for that. Sleuth sounds so unromantic.”
Ràn chuckles. “Harem?”
“My harem of bears…” I lick my lips. “I like it. Would you like to be a member of my harem?”
He kisses me softly while brushing a strand of hair out of my face.
“I’d like nothing more.”
He rolls us over until I’m on my back and he’s above me. Luckily he’s using his arms to keep him from squashing me – he’s one big bear. He shifts backwards until his head is between my breasts. Trailing rows of little kisses over my skin, he prepares me for the coming bonding. He’s gentle, careful, loving. Every time his lips touch my skin, a shiver runs through me. On one hand, I want to tell him to stop and get on with it, but at the same time, I’m enjoying this slow lovemaking. That’s what it is. The making of love. This isn’t just sex, this is so much more. It’s a promise that we’ll be a couple, a team, best friends. That we’ll be there for each other, no matter what happens. That he is my home and I am his.
For a moment, I remember something my mother once told me, long ago: “Home isn’t where you live, but the people who live in your heart.” But the next kiss dispels all such thoughts. All I can think of is how much I want Ràn. Not just his body, although it would be nice to feel more of him, right now, inside of me. No, also his mind, his essence, everything he is. He’s already opened himself to me today, told me about his past. Maybe, one day, I’ll be able to open up to him. I’m not as brave as him. I don’t think I’m ready yet.
Ràn begins to move downwards, his teeth grazing my skin as he slides towards my core. He’s not as slow anymore; suddenly his tongue is right on that sweet spot that makes me moan and claw the ground I’m lying on. He draws circles with his tongue; circles that send shivers through me and summon heat into my belly. He plays me like a piano, knowing exactly where to touch me to get a reaction. My groans become a concert that he’s directing, one flick of his tongue at a time. I’m writhing on the ground, losing more and more control. He’s transporting me ever closer to the grand finale, but I’m hoping he will stop before then.
He doesn’t.
I come with a cry, grabbing Ràn’s head in desperation, willing him to keep on his movements until the wave of elation has passed. But it doesn’t pass, it continues. Desire fills me, blinds me. I know what I need to do.
I sit up and draw Ràn towards me. His pupils are dilated and he’s breathing heavily, just like me.
“Ready?” I ask him hoarsely and he nods, drawing me closer until our chests touch. My nipples brush against his skin and I can’t repress another moan. I kiss the nape of his neck, savouring his earthy taste and smell.
He smells delicious. Irresistible. I can feel my teeth change as I open my mouth, gently biting him. It soon turns not so gentle when I can taste his blood. It should be disgusting, but right now, I could drink him dry and still want more. My Ràn. His blood, now part of me. Him in me. I suckle on his neck like a vampire, while he lifts me up and enters me, thrusting hard whenever I take another gulp of his blood. I am far more aware this time of what’s happening than with Torben. This time, I know I’m drinking his blood. I can feel the connection between us solidify. It’s like a thread is spun between us, thin and almost unnoticeable but strong and unyielding. We are merging, becoming one. The bonding is happening.
His thrusts are getting quicker, deeper and I’m finally able to stop biting him and lean back to look him into the eyes. They are dark, full of desire. I hope mine are the same. I hope he sees how much this means to me. How important he is. How I can’t be without him.
He’s mine.
My Ràn.
When we come together and his teeth break my skin, tasting my blood, the final piece of the puzzle slots into place. The bond is complete.
Mine.
I wake in a soft bed. A quick sniff tells me that it’s my bed, back at our little house. Another sniff and I know that the guys are all nearby. Good. I smile as I remember what just happened. Well, what happened... I have no idea how long I was out. I can’t remember falling asleep. I can’t remember coming back to the house either. I sit up, frowning at that gap in my memory. Strange.
I put on an old bathrobe hanging on a hook by the door and walk into the living room where the guys are spread out on the random assortment of sofas and armchairs. Most of them are from other houses; we chose what we needed from there. I’m sure the former owners won’t mind. If they’re still alive.
“Are you naked underneath that?” Torben asks with a smile and a hungry look in his eyes. I wonder if he felt the bonding somehow, being connected to me already.
“Yup. Got a problem with that?”
“Not in the slightest.” His voice is a low growl, full of wanting and promises. It makes my ovaries squeal in delight. I want him, here, now.
“How did you sleep?” Ràn asks. He’s got a mug in his hands. I sniff. Hot chocolate. Mine. I prowl towards him and take the mug without asking. He chuckles softly as I empty it in three large gulps. Yummy. Then I look at Ràn. Yummy. I want him, too.
Stop it, Isla. This is a side effect of the bonding. Don’t go around jumping anyone.
I ignore Alis and look around the room. Four men. All mine. I fumble with the cord holding my robe in place, but my hands are shaking. I need them so much.
“What are you doing?” Finn asks, getting up from his spot by the fire. In response, I fling myself at him and kiss him wildly. He hesitates but responds a moment later. I cling to him as we kiss passionately, my tongue entwined with his, our lips glued to each other.
Isla, you’ve got o
ther things to do. Finding the portal, for example.
I push Alis away. She’s annoying. I’m busy kissing. I don’t need a not-a-spirit bear interfering.
Isla!
Alis shouts inside my head and I instinctively put my hands on my ears, even though the sounds isn’t coming from around me. But it has the intended effect: my thoughts are becoming clearer and I notice what I’m doing.
I step back from a breathless Finn and look around. Húnn is the only one who doesn’t seem flushed.
“What just happened?” I ask quietly and wrap the robe closer around my naked body.
The bonding messed with your hormones. Don’t worry, it will only happen two more times.
I sigh. Two more bondings. Halfway through. Not that it’s something bad... it’s just emotionally taxing. I think back to how I drank Ràn’s blood and shudder a little. What does he think of me, turning vamp on him like that?
It’s normal, don’t worry. Now get going, you’ve got a portal to find.
You seem very impatient?
The Fates have answers. I’ve been waiting for answers for so long now that we may have a chance to talk to them... hurry up.
The last sentence is a growl. Snarky Alis is back. She’s been fairly well behaved recently, but occasionally, she still falls back into old patterns. Like being a bitch. Or a she-bear.
I choose an armchair that isn’t close to any of the guys and sit down, still a bit uncomfortable over how horny I was just moments ago.
“Did you have any progress?” I ask Torben, trying to keep my voice level. Don’t show your embarrassment. Stay cool.
“Yeah, we split the island into seven areas so we each know where to go. Ràn said you didn’t have any luck following the tracks last night.”
For the first time today, I look out of the window. The sun is almost in its highest position. I slept all through the night and most of the morning.
“How did we get back?” I ask Ràn.
He shrugs. “You blacked out, just like with Torben. I brought you back here just to be on the safe side.”
Polar Fates Page 4