“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t pressure you like that. But... please know that I’m always ready to listen.” He sighs. “And from my own experience, I know how good it feels to get rid of some of the crap that’s accumulated in your brain.”
He takes a step back. “I’ll be here for you. Always.”
My anger disappears in an instant. I close the distance between us and put my hands on his shoulders.
“I know that. Thank you.”
He smiles. “Kiss me?”
I can’t help it, I have to laugh. Suddenly, the table have turned.
I stretch and kiss him.
It’s perfect.
Seven
Morning comes a lot sooner than it should be allowed to, but the sun warming my face is telling me it’s time to get up. I groan and stretch, eliciting a grumble from beneath me. Oh. I’m lying on top of Ràn and I may just have rammed my elbow into his chest. Sorry.
I scramble off him and the sofa we were both sleeping on. We’re still clothed - somehow, we never made it past that kiss. We cuddled on the sofa, enjoying each other’s warmth and closeness until we fell asleep.
Good morning, I tell Alis, but she doesn’t respond. She’s probably still asleep. Or doing whatever she does when she’s not talking to me. When we’re shifted, I can sleep while she is running, and the same is true the other way round.
“Morning,” Ràn says, his voice hoarse with sleep. “Sweet dreams?”
“If I told you that you were in them, would you call them sweet?”
“No. Hot? Sexy? Amazing?”
“Stop it. You’re large enough as it is, don’t go inflating yourself.”
He laughs, a beautiful, rich sound.
“Did you really dream of me?”
I shrug. “I can’t remember, so it may as well have been you.” I bend down and give him a kiss on the forehead. “I would like that, actually.”
He pulls me close until I topple over and land on his chest.
“I just got up,” I complain, but I’m smiling widely. I love Ràn’s playful side. His mouth is in reach so I kiss him again, this time on the lips. He responds instantly, hungrily.
His lips are firm but soft, meeting mine with an energy that gives me tingles all over my body. I let myself drown in him, in the kiss, letting go of all the worries I have in my subconscious. He is grounding me. His tongue meets mine and we dance. Our bodies are so close I can feel his heartbeat. I imagine how our hearts are beating together, as one, and smile at the tackiness of that thought.
Unfortunately, Ràn takes that as the signal to end the kiss.
“Why are you smiling?”
“I’m going to stop smiling if you don’t start kissing me again.”
He chuckles and then his lips are on mine once more. Good.
The living room door opens without warning.
“Good morning, sunshines!” Húnn hollers, making me cringe. He’s far too loud and cheery. Until I’ve had my tea, people are supposed to be quiet.
Behind Húnn, the other two guys enter, already dressed and looking ready to go. I groan as I remember what today’s going to be like. More running.
“Have you looked outside yet?” Finn asks excitedly. “The snow has melted!”
I jump up and run to the window. Yes, it’s silly to be excited about something so insignificant, but after seeing nothing but snow for weeks, the sight of grass is magnificent. It’s a little brown and muddy from being underneath the snow for so long, but at least it isn’t white.
The weather has changed since the Drowning. The seasons have become more intense - the winters colder and the summers warmer. When I was a child, we never had much snow, maybe for a few days before it melted away. Rarely enough to build a proper snowman. Back then, I would have loved to have as much snow as we have nowadays - but I’m an adult now and snow makes everything more complicated.
Alis yawns inside my head. Bah, it’s muddy. My fur is going to get dirty.
“Don’t be so vain. Once you shift back, I can take a nice hot bath to wash it all off.”
“Talking to Alis?” Torben grins. Oh. I hadn’t realised I’d spoken aloud. I thought I’d got the mental conversation thingy under control by now.
“We’d be happy to join you for that bath,” Finn chuckles, making me blush a little. I won’t tell them that I had already planned on taking them with me. The bathtub isn’t large enough for all five of us, but I’ve already managed to squeeze in with two of them before.
“But first, we need to work. Maybe we’ll be luckier today. Is everybody ready to head out?”
Torben is being the voice of reason. The leader. I sigh. Breakfast would have been nice, but I assume Alis will catch something for us. Yuck.
Four hours later, we still haven’t seen anything. I let Alis do her thing, adding scents and landmarks to her mental map. I snooze while watching the grey landscape around us. A thick fog is beginning to drift from the sea, giving everything an eerie feel. Alis’s fur is slowly getting wet, but she doesn’t seem to mind. She was right about the mud though. Her feet are cloaked in it and her legs are an ugly brown instead of her usually pristine white fur.
She complains about it every few minutes, but I’m learning to tune her out. I’m grumpy enough already without having to listen to a just as grumpy bear. I mentally lean back, preparing to sleep.
Pelja! Alis suddenly shouts and takes off, running inland, away from the coast we’d just approached.
What’s wrong with Húnn’s bear?
He’s called for help. He’s in pain.
Worry fills my mind. If Pelja is in trouble, so is Húnn. They’re one, bound even closer than Alis and I.
Alis is running as fast as she can, but I still have to fight the urge to tell her to hurry up. Húnn has to be okay, he has to. Did he fall? Was he attacked? But there’s nobody on this island besides us.
Except for that girl. The servant of the Fates. She didn’t look very strong though. Húnn could kill her with one swipe of his paw.
My head is spinning. I can feel Alis’s worry filter through our bond, increasing my own. Even though she’s not romantically involved with the bears, she sees them as her sleuth. Her males who she’s responsible for. I’m not sure if she’s even friends with them yet, but they definitely see her as one of them. She could be their leader if she decided to challenge Torben; we all know she’d win. But she hasn’t done that and for that, they all respect her.
Alis stops without warning, slithering on the muddy ground before coming to a halt.
He’s gone.
What do you mean, he’s gone?!
I can’t feel him anymore. He was there and now he... disappeared.
Cold dread fills me. Gone. How can he be gone? That’s impossible.
I don’t know where to go. Without our connection...
Alis sounds just as helpless as I feel.
We’re standing at the foot of a small hill, with nothing around us but moor, grass and the occasional moss-covered boulder. The fog is beginning to reach this part of the island too, clinging to the ground with wispy fingers. There’s no sign of Húnn. No sign of anyone.
Alis shouts out for Pelja; a pulsing, deep-throated noise that would make me shiver if I was in my own body. There’s so much pain and anxiety in that cry.
The fog almost swallows the reply of another bear, but we just about hear it. Alis starts running towards the sound, her paws whirling up mud high into the air. I don’t know the bears well enough to tell them apart by their calls - they only make those when they’re distressed - but despite the anguish in it, it’s hope.
Whoever is calling might know what happened to Húnn. Maybe they even saw it.
We run faster than we’ve ever run before, but somehow, the fog is faster than us. Within minutes, everything around us is white. It’s thick mist that looks almost solid. Alis stops and I can feel her confusion.
This isn’t natural.
I completely agree. The fog is muffling a
ll sounds and scents around us. I can feel Alis’s fear. She’s not used to having her senses dampened like that. Even to me, the sudden absence of the usual animal scent marks around us is worrying.
Alis huffs, her breath leaving slight distortions in the fog. I’ve learned that bears communicate silently most of the time; they rarely growl or make louder noises. Usually, her huff would travel far and tell other bears that she wants their attention. In this fog, I doubt anyone will hear her. If I was in my human form, I’d shout at the top of my lungs, but I don’t think it’d be wise to shift now. Alis is a lot stronger than I could ever be. If we’re in danger, she’s the one who’s most likely to survive.
Urgh, am I actually thinking of survival? That would mean we’re really in danger. Actual, deadly danger. That’s something... unreal. That doesn’t happen to people. But after Húnn disappeared just like that...
Alis sniffs the air, but I can sense her frustration. There’s nothing. No sound, no scent, not even taste.
She begins to run again and I’m hoping she remembers where the other bear’s call came from. It’s so foggy that I can’t even see the ground we’re running on. It’s like we’re inside a cloud that is moving along with us, not letting us out of its clutches. I’m beginning to feel claustrophobic. Living on a Scottish island, I’m used to foggy mornings, but this is different. This feels bad. Evil. Ominous.
I’m sure we should have reached the other bear by now. It didn’t sound that far away and Alis is fast. She seems to come to the same conclusion and comes to a halt.
I don’t know what to do and I assume Alis is thinking the same - but of course she’d never admit that. She’s too proud.
She gets up onto her hind legs, making herself as tall as possible, before bellowing a loud call. It’s a desperate sound, one I never hope to hear again. Alis is calling for help.
Slowly, she sinks back onto all fours. There is no reply. We’re on our own.
Alis continues to walk, carefully putting one paw in front of the other. She’s cautious and I can feel how her muscles are tense, ready to jump and fight. She’s not even thinking of fleeing. No, she’s hoping to fight whoever is doing this. Someone is behind this. Someone took Húnn, or hurt him, or .... no, I won’t think about that. The same someone may have summoned this strange fog.
She sniffs the air again.
Someone’s coming.
Suddenly, I’m almost glad for the fog. With our white fur, it camouflages us perfectly, even better than snow.
Alis sniffs once more and breathes a sigh of relief.
It’s Orson.
She steps forward and almost bumps into the dark brown bear looking at us in surprise. Ràn’s bear is breathing hard; he must have been running here as well after hearing his brother’s call for help.
Alis is talking to him, but I can’t hear it. That’s the unfair thing about our situation: when I’m human, she can hear what I’m saying to the guys, but when we’re shifted, I have no clue what she’s discussing with the bears. I’m relying on her to tell me what’s going on.
I wait impatiently, tempted to nudge her. But I know she’s going to give me an update as soon as she knows more.
Orson wasn’t the one who called, so it must have been Torben or Mahon. And he felt the same loss of connection with his brother as I did. She pauses for a moment. He’s very upset. I think humans would hug now, but... I can’t.
Do you want to shift?
No, it’s too dangerous. Let’s do the touchy-feely stuff later. We need to find the others.
As one, the two bears stand up and roar into the fog. Together, they may be loud enough to be heard by Finn and Torben. I hope. But they may still be on the other end of the island, where they were scouting their assigned areas. It might take them ages to get here. Too long to just stand here and wait. We need to find out what happened to Ràn.
My heart hurts at the thought of him.
Honey, Alis suddenly says. I can smell honey.
Huh?
Alis doesn’t reply and starts walking, sniffing the ground as she goes. Orson follows her, just as entranced at the scent as Alis.
Alis! What are you doing?
Again, no reply. What’s going on? Is this some kind of spell they’re under? Is this a trap?
Snap out of it, Alis! Don’t follow the scent!
She’s not listening. I pound against the barrier between our minds, trying to get her attention, but she simply swats me away like a fly. She’s far too strong for me to take over. But she’s walking into danger. This can’t be good.
Alis breaks into a run, following the invisible lure. Honey. Of course it’s honey. All bears love that stuff. How ironic.
I don’t even notice that the fog is getting less until the first ray of sun hits the ground in front of us, illuminating a... crack. A rip. That’s the only way I can describe it.
It’s as if there’s a piece missing. A piece of everything. It’s about as long as I am and several times as wide. I’d call it a hole but it’s not. If it was a hole in the ground, there’d be a tunnel down and darkness. There’d be an end to it. Beyond this crack there’s nothing. No colour, no light, no darkness. Its cragged edges are like cuts in the earth: harsh and violent. And there’s nothing beyond them.
I just can’t get my head around it. There’s always something, even if it’s just air and light. But this… It’s empty. Devoid of life. It makes me dizzy just looking at the crack.
I want to turn around and run as fast as I can, away from this unnatural hole-that-isn’t-a-hole. I shout at Alis to run, to leave this place, but she does the opposite: she jumps into the crack.
Eight
Why didn’t you just bring them here the normal way?”
“That would have been no fun.”
“Oh Airlea, this wasn’t about having fun. You need to grow up.”
“I am.”
“Then behave like it.”
Consciousness is slowly creeping up on me. And not in a good way.
My head hurts, my body aches, everything is spinning. Basically, I want to get back to sleep. But I know that would be a bad idea.
In between the pulsing pain in my head, I remember what happened. The crack. Alis jumping into it. Then, nothing.
Alis?
No response.
“Why are there only three of them? I thought she had four?”
That voice again. It’s that of a woman, and while she sounds quite old, she speaks with authority. Someone you don’t want to cross.
“The Portal closed before the others could get through.” A younger woman. She sounds familiar. It takes my foggy brain a moment to make the connection, but when I do, I just about manage to stop myself from gasping. The girl from the beach. The servant of the Fates.
“And why did it close?” The woman’s displeasure is clear.
The girl sighs. “Because I left it open for too long. Sorry, Lach.”
“And why did you do that?”
“Because I was bored and wanted some fun. I already said sorry.”
“But you didn’t mean it.” Now it’s the older woman who sighs. “Run to my sisters and tell them our guests have arrived.”
Footsteps, away from me, but only one pair. The older woman is still here.
“I know you’re awake.”
Damn, how did she know that? I thought I’d kept my breathing regular and I definitely didn’t move.
“Come on, get up, we have a lot to discuss.”
Cautiously, I sit up, cringing as the pounding in my head increases. With relief, I notice that I’m not naked as I usually am after shifting, but that I’m wearing a simple white robe, made from a silky material that’s both light and warm at the same time. I’m trying to tell myself that maybe I arrived in this robe and that nobody actually saw me naked and dressed me in it. Just because I’m comfortable being naked around the guys doesn’t mean the same is true for strangers. Even if they are women.
I climb to my feet, ignoring
the urge to puke because of that terrible headache, and turn around to face the woman. She’s not as old as I imagined after hearing her voice. Maybe late fifties or early sixties. But as soon as I think that, I see her eyes and adjust my guess to about a thousand years old. Or more. Those eyes… Wow. They’re like mini universes, full of knowledge, memories and emotion. I feel like I’m being sucked into them…
I avert my gaze and look down to the floor. It’s marble, polished and cool. How did I not notice that while I was lying there? I must have been cold, but I didn’t feel it.
“I am Lachesis, the Drawer of Lots. Welcome to my home.”
I can’t help but look up at her again, but this time, I avoid her eyes.
“That sounds as if I’m your guest and here voluntarily.”
She smiles. “Aren’t you?”
“No, I’m not. We were lured here, bewitched somehow.”
She chuckles gently. That smile of hers is making me angry, but I grit my teeth, hoping she won’t notice.
“But you wanted to find us, didn’t you? You wanted to find the Portal?”
I repress a growl. My bear side is getting stronger.
“Yes, but we wanted to make our own decision to go through it or not.”
Her chuckle turns into a laugh. “Dear child, you don’t make decisions we haven’t already made for you. We are the Fates, we make everyone’s decisions.”
I meet her gaze with a defiant stare. “And if I don’t want you to make mine for me?”
“Then you come to me,” a cold voice says behind me. I whirl around to look at the woman who said that. She’s younger than Lachesis, but not by much. Her hair is like spun gold, falling down to below her hips. While she is beautiful, her expression is cold, unfriendly. There’s a twist to her lips that tells of a lot of scowling.
Behind her, another woman follows with the creepy girl. Three women. The Fates.
“Meet Atty and Clotho,” Lachesis introduces them and the blonde woman frowns.
“Atropos. Call me Atty at your own peril.”
I shudder at her expression. From what Alis told me, Atropos is the Fate who cuts the threads. Not to set people free, no, but to kill them. Officially it’s when their time has come, but Alis wasn’t too sure about that. Seeing Atropos, I can imagine she might cut threads prematurely out of spite. Now I know what Lachesis meant. If I don’t want them to make decisions for me, the alternative is death.
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