by Joya Ryan
“You know I love seeing this old mug of yours,” Huck said. “The Giah is coming along nice.” He leaned over the car and smiled. It looked good, especially when he remembered bending Autumn over it nine days ago. Sure, he was counting. Partly because it was a hot memory, and partly because Jenna and Colt would be back soon, and with them Autumn’s time here in Diamond would be come to an end.
“Back!” his father chided and smacked his hand. “Stay away from that car, you’ll break it.”
Huck rolled his eyes. “I build things for a living.”
“Not cars, you don’t. You’re terrible with anything with an engine.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He couldn’t really argue with the truth. “Damn shame, since you won’t quit bellyaching about your only son carrying on the family business,” Huck teased.
Pete looked at him with all the seriousness in the world. “Son, I love you. But if you inherit this shop, I’d give it two days before you’re breaking everyone’s car and the business goes in the crapper.”
“Thanks, Pop.” But he smiled.
His dad had known since birth that Huck had no interest in cars, and yet he’d still stood by him in pursuing what he loved—working with his hands. He loved building, was good at it, and his dad had always had his back.
“Guess you’ll just have to work forever,” Huck said.
Then something clicked in his mind. His dad was old enough to retire, and he certainly couldn’t carry on the load of the only shop in town forever.
“Have you thought about the future of this place?” Huck asked.
“Sure, I’ve thought about it.” He frowned at his son. “Actually, it’s come to my attention that a very talented mechanic may fit the bill.”
Huck’s jaw almost hit the floor. “Tell me you’re not talking about who I think you’re talking about.”
His dad shrugged. “I’ve thought about having a talk with her about it. She’s a good girl. Works hard. Helped me with the books the other day. She knows about cars, bikes, and running a business. I trust her.”
“How do you know she’d even be interested in the job?”
His father patted his shoulder. “She’s tired of wandering. Tired of not having any roots. I can see it in her. This would be a big step for her. Maybe the right step. Her staying in town. I don’t know her plans all that well, but I know what’s been going on between you two.”
“We’re friends,” Huck said quickly, and that title was the most committed label he’d put on a relationship in a long time. His dad didn’t seem to buy his bullshit, though. He wasn’t about to argue with him or give his opinion. This wasn’t his shop, and Autumn wasn’t his woman.
Huck took a deep breath. If Autumn wanted this job, he’d never stand in the way of her or her dreams. He knew she’d loved her grandfather and his shop, but he didn’t know if moving on from Diamond was more important to her. Honestly, he hadn’t asked, because he was scared to know the answer.
“This isn’t my shop to offer,” Huck said. “It’s up to you.”
“There you go again,” his dad sighed. “Handing off all the hard choices so you don’t have to feel responsible.”
“I’m responsible, Pop.”
“I know you are. But not for everything. It’s not your fault Sydney left. But it is your responsibility not to let her have taken a piece of you. You owe it to yourself to move on. Really move on. And that means letting Autumn know you want her to stay.”
“Yeah, but she’s not interested in sticking around.”
She’d made that clear the last time he’d seen her.
“Son, I know you’re afraid of someone leaving you again, but let me tell you something. I’ve seen that woman with you. And the only reason she wouldn’t stay is if you don’t give her a reason to.”
Shit, he hadn’t gotten a lecture from his dad in a long time. But Pete wasn’t entirely wrong. Still, he needed to think. A lot hung in the balance in the next forty-eight hours. Jenna and Colt would be back, Autumn would have her own life, own plans. He didn’t know what waited for her. Could he risk it? Put it all out there?
His dad said she’d stay if he gave her a reason?
“I don’t have a reason,” he said lowly. Women like Autumn weren’t meant to be tied down. Huck wouldn’t be a sucker for a second time. Before he could get another earful from his dad, he turned and walked out.
His dad called after him. The last thing he heard from his dad was, “Just talk to her, son.”
But just the thought of “putting himself out there” made his gut twist.
…
Autumn walked into the shop, ready to start the day. Granted her day started at noon, but she worked late, so the shift was welcome. The shop was quieter in the evenings, and she had a chance to work on the car.
“Hey there,” Pete said.
“What do we have today?” she asked, looking over a Plymouth that hadn’t been there yesterday.
“That just needs new shocks and breaks,” Pete said motioning at the car.
“Okay, I’m on it.”
“You’re in good spirits,” Pete said. “Have you thought about the job?”
She looked at the kind older man. He knew about LA, he was also the only one who knew that she hadn’t technically said yes to the offer yet. It was a sure thing, but Autumn was dragging her feet.
“Yeah, I’ve thought about it. Smart thing would be for me to take it.” She gave her best smile despite her chest feeling heavier than normal.
“That’s wonderful!” Pete said, and damn near charged her, wrapping her in a hug. Apparently he was happy to see her go too. “I was thinking that we could spend the next several months really getting you acquainted with everything before I set you loose on your own. I’ll still be around after I officially retire of course but—”
Autumns brows shot up. “Wait? What are you talking about?”
Pete stepped back and examined her face. He looked confused. Just like she felt.
“Didn’t Huck talk to you? We spoke earlier today about the future of the shop and you…”
Pete trailed off, but Autumn didn’t need him to finish for her to understand what had happened. Pete wanted her to take over his shop. An idea that should have her jumping up and down with joy, if not for the fact that Huck didn’t want her long-term.
“Huck was supposed to talk to me about it?” she whispered. Pete didn’t say anything. A look of sadness crossed his face. Shit, a stupid sting pricked her eyes. So close. She was so close to having something real. Something long-term. She was so close to being worthwhile.
But Huck didn’t choose her. Otherwise, he would have talked with her the way Pete had thought. The kicker was, she been secretly hoping Diamond could be her home. But once again, she’d gotten caught up in a dream that could never be real.
“I’m sorry, Pete,” she said, hating that she choked on the last word. “But I’ve got to go.”
Because standing there, within reaching distance of something she wanted so bad only to realize that Huck didn’t want her back and this could never be her place to land, was too much to bear.
…
Huck downed a shot of bourbon. Normally, he’d be at Penny’s BBQ, but he wanted to be alone, so instead he’d gone to the dive bar on the outskirts of town. All he could think about was what his dad had said earlier. He wanted Autumn to stay. Wanted her to take over his shop. Yeah, he knew what that meant. It meant she’d be around. For a hell of a long time, if not forever.
He clanked the glass against the bar when he set it down harder than he’d realized. This was a shit storm. Autumn was a gigantic risk. One that entailed trust and commitment. Because he knew two things for certain. If she stayed in town, there was no way a night, a week, or even a fucking year would ever be enough for him. He’d want her…all the time. Second, he was falling for her. Maybe he fell the night he met her. The idea of not seeing her? Of her leaving? That was what made his skin tight and his whole body hurt.
Autumn may be a gigantic risk, but the reward would more than pay out. Because that’s what she was. A reward. The kind he wanted to experience and hang on to.
He pulled out his cell and dialed her number.
After a single ring, she sent him straight to voicemail.
…
“So you’re really taking the job in LA?” Penny asked, looking at her from across the counter.
Autumn ignored the third call in a row from Huck, then shoved her phone in her pocket.
“Yeah. I’m done in Diamond.”
“I’m happy you got the job and all…” Penny said. Though she smiled, her face did a weird, sad thing.
“Is something wrong?”
“I’m just going to miss you.”
“I’ve only been here two weeks.” Hardly long enough for Penny to get too attached to her.
“Yeah, but I like you. And I’m not the only one,” Penny said. “And you get things off high shelves for me when Bass isn’t around.”
Autumn laughed, and so did Penny.
“Seriously though, I’m not the only one who will miss you if you go,” Penny said.
No question who Penny was talking about. But Autumn and Huck had both known things were temporary. He’d never asked her about her plans after she was done housesitting for Jenna. Maybe because he didn’t care to know. Or maybe because he understood, just like she did, that they had an expiration date. She was never meant to stay in Diamond. Never made plans or promises to do so. She’d housesat for two weeks. And time was about up.
Beyond that, he’d had an opportunity to ask her stay. One his own father thought he’d take, and he didn’t. The picture couldn’t be clearer than that. Huck didn’t want her. And she wouldn’t stick around to have that pointed out anymore.
“Have you thought about staying?” Penny asked. “I bet Pete would hire you full time.”
Autumn almost laughed because that was an option. Pete was wonderful. Treated her well and, actually, had dropped hints about a long-term deal he’d be willing to make her. Too bad she couldn’t take the job since his son wanted nothing to do with her long-term. No, she had to leave. And fast.
Seeing him again, but knowing she couldn’t keep him, would kill her. And she would see him again if she lingered there any longer.
“There’s a lot that’s wrong with that idea.”
“Why?” Penny asked.
“Putting faith in someone or something and having it not work out leaves some gaps in life. I’ve had my share of gaps. I don’t want any more.”
“Unless you lay your concerns out there.” Penny leaned closer and patted Autumn’s hand. “I’ve been where you are. Guys sometimes need to hear you say exactly what you want.”
“It doesn’t matter. I know what Huck wants. And what he doesn’t.”
“He wants you,” Penny said. “You just have to admit to yourself first.”
Penny had no idea what was going on and Autumn wasn’t about to go into details about how Huck would rather avoid her than tell her about the shop offer. Now he was calling, likely for one last fuck before she took off.
“Just talk to him,” Penny said.
“Jesus, do you give Bass this much shit?”
“Yes, yes I do. Which is why we’re together.”
She stared down the small redhead and thought for a minute. A true, honest to god moment of honesty:
What do I want?
The answer was simple. A single word: Huck.
And it was that single word that had her on the brink of losing it. Losing her mind, losing her heart… Who was she kidding. She lost her heart to him a while ago. Now all she could do was salvage what was left and start over in LA.
“I can see it on your face that you’re moon-eyed for Huck. Maybe staying and setting down roots isn’t so bad.”
“No. It will fail.”
“You have to have hope that it won’t.”
“Hope gets you in trouble,” Autumn said.
“Sometimes. But it’s also what allows you to hold on to the best things in life.”
Autumn looked Penny dead in the eye. “That has never been my experience.”
She hugged Penny and turned to walk out. She was done. Done with Diamond, done with Huck and done with hope.
Chapter Thirteen
Huck bolted through the door of Penny’s BBQ. If Autumn wouldn’t take his calls, he’d hunt her down.
“Is she here?” he asked Penny, who stood behind the counter.
“No, she left.”
“Where did she go?”
“LA. She took the job. She’s gone.”
His lungs froze. She left. No goodbye. Wouldn’t even take his calls. She just left. Every shitty feeling, horrible memory came flooding back. Only this time, it packed an extra punch because he honestly thought Autumn was different. Thought they had a chance.
“I’m a fucking idiot,” he mumbled.
He cursed his brain, all but ran out and started his truck, heading to the one place he could think to find her, though he knew deep down, she wouldn’t be there.
When he pulled up to the auto shop, he saw his father’s silver hair and greasy hands, and a look of anger and sadness on his face.
“Is she here?” Huck barked.
“She just left. She hugged me. Thanked me. And went on her way.”
Huck clenched his teeth. He ran both his hands through his hair. He wanted to break something, throw something. Instead a stab of heart-wrenching agony stung his eyes and his chest simultaneously.
“Well, looks like the deal is off. She doesn’t want the shop, doesn’t want to stay.” And yet Huck was still chasing around town after her as if some small thread of hope remained that he’d find her. That she hadn’t really left him.
“What did you do?” his dad asked.
Huck snapped his stare to his father in shock. “Me? I didn’t do anything. She left! She didn’t say a damn thing to me.”
His dad nodded, looked more solemn, like he was in on some secret Huck wasn’t privy to. “You didn’t do anything? Looks like that’s your problem, son.”
He stared at his dad. “What are you talking about?”
“Did you ever do anything to make her want to stay? You didn’t even talk to her about the shop.”
No, he hadn’t. He’d made no promises. No commitments. No nothing. Because he was afraid. That was, up until tonight.
“I was going to talk to her tonight.” Because the truth was, he loved her. Like it or not, terrified as he was, he loved the hell out of that mouthy woman. He didn’t know what he was going to talk to her about. Maybe the shop? Maybe about her staying? Maybe about her leaving? There were always lots of “maybes” when it came to him thinking. Because “maybes” kept things casual.
It wasn’t until right then, with her gone, that he knew what he should have known the whole time. He definitely wanted to talk about how he loved her. And there was no maybe about it.
“Then do it,” his father said. “Don’t sit back and wait. You want something, you go after it, and you hang on to it.”
“What if she doesn’t want to be hung on to? She left. Why would I ask her to stay when she clearly doesn’t want to?”
“You never asked her if she wanted to. You assume. And all that’s doing is making a dipshit out of you, son.”
Huck wanted to tell his dad that the saying went a bit differently, but it didn’t matter. He felt like a dipshit. That didn’t stop his father from handing his ass to him though.
“Autumn is not Sydney. It’s time you really understood that.”
“Doesn’t matter. She’s gone now.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Why fight for the woman you want?”
“Damn it, Dad, how can you tell me she’s not like Syd? She left!”
“Why do you think that is? If you don’t know, you should find out. You think she’s gonna haul ass out of here without saying goodbye to someone she cares about? Then you really don’t know her. That
’s what Sydney did. If you don’t realize that’s not what Autumn would do, then you never knew her at all.”
Maybe he didn’t know her. Or maybe he just fucked up royally. Because he’d drove around town and there had been no sign of Autumn. No motorcycle.
She was really gone.
He got back in his truck, cursed and hit his steering wheel. Nowhere else to go but home. He drove to his place. Hating every mile. Replaying every moment with her, the things he could have said. Wondering if it would’ve made a difference or if she’d have left anyway.
Then it hit him: it didn’t matter.
She left? She was gone? Then he’d chase her. He’d find her. He’d tell her everything he should have said and prove to her why they would work. Why he wanted her to stay. First he needed to get a bag packed because looked like he had to get to LA.
He pulled up to his house and found a shiny bike in his driveway and a woman on his porch.
He recognized both instantly, and his breath stalled.
You think she’d leave without saying goodbye to someone she cares about?
His father’s word flashed in his mind. She cared about him. Now he had to either stop being a chicken shit and say what he needed to say, or let her go.
Either way, it was time he fought.
He got out of the truck and walked toward her. Her eyes were a little red. Like she’d been crying? She held her arms over her chest. It was the most defensive, the most scared he’d ever seen her.
Stop being so self-centered.
He hadn’t thought that maybe something had gone wrong in her world. Something that had nothing to do with him.
“What happened, honey?” he asked.
“You!” she snapped. Oh. “You happened. I was fine. And like an idiot, I thought you were different. I thought I meant something to you—”
“You do, damn it.” Anger started to boil out of him. At her, and at himself. She’d heard about the job from his dad and not him. Yeah, it had probably looked bad. “I needed a minute to get my shit together and think about what I was supposed to say to you tonight.”