Erin and Angus looked at each other and shrugged.
Brianna laughed at their confusion. “You don’t understand any of this shit, do you?”
“We understand some things,” Erin said.
“And are completely confused about the rest,” Angus supplied.
Erin held her new kinswoman’s mistrusting gaze. “I guess the honest answer is no. We don’t understand much, but we’re surviving.”
Brianna hung her head and laughed. “You sound just like them. Nate force you into impersonating them?”
“You mean strong-armed us into stepping into their shoes? Let’s just say it was something like that and he can tell the rest himself,” Angus said.
Brianna huffed. “Nate tried to tell me they hadn’t died even though I knew better. Carleton has a secret way to get in touch with both me and Sheena. I was with Mom when she… left. She told me to go along with what Nate and the Guardians said. She said to tell Sheena to do the same. She just didn’t tell me why it was important. Now I’m guessing she was trying to tell me to go along with you two.”
“Ya know, there’s a fecking lot of lying required to live here in Universe 1,” Angus said sadly, finding a nearby chair to sink into. “And we’re still doing it to ya, but only a little, I promise. Once we know ya better, we might tell ya all we know, Brianna.”
“Speak for yerself,” Erin exclaimed. “I have my woman secrets and I’m keeping them.”
“Come on. You sound too much like them. You have to be fucking clones,” Brianna declared. “Sheena said Dad’s multiple rejuvenations had corrupted his DNA and made it unsuitable for cloning. I bet they dug around in the DNA vaults and pulled out one of Dad’s ancestors. They started banking that stuff just before the alien virus got to all the people. Both Dad’s biological grandfathers died of the virus. Storing DNA was the only way those left could make sure all life on New Earth went on.”
“That strange explanation might explain this version of Angus,” Erin teased, inclining her head toward a glaring Angus. “How do ya explain me?”
Brianna shrugged. “They didn’t want the cloned Angus to be alone, so they cloned Mom and took a chance of it working out in her case. But what I don’t get is your accents. No one has ever talked that way on Old Earth or New Earth… at least not in well over a millennia. I studied Linguistics in college, so I know this shit. I speak sixteen alien languages as well as the twelve New Earth languages still spoken on our planet.”
Angus slapped his knee with his hand. “So not only was Angus 1 educated, he made sure his offspring was too. I bet he was a fine father.”
Brianna crossed her arms. “Don’t get so excited there, Pops. Sheena and I were adopted.”
Angus snorted. “Feck that. Ya are a MacNamara. I’d bet my right nut on it.”
“Nut?” Brianna wrinkled her face.
“Angus is referring to his man jewels,” Erin explained.
“Jewels?” Brianna asked, chuckling at the nonsensical term.
“Fecking balls, woman. I’d bet it on my MacNamara testicles,” Angus declared. He waved a hand to his crotch and then pointed at her. “And if ya strip the fecking metal off yer face, I bet ya would look as much like me as any of my seven do.”
Brianna laughed, then she laughed some more. “We had to be adopted because Sheena and I were born of surrogates. Mom couldn’t carry us at her advanced age.”
“What?” Angus asked.
Erin laughed. “I’ve got this one. I saw an article about it on Toorg’s tablet. She means fecking handmaidens. Angus slept with other women to get his girls.”
But Brianna was shaking her head. “It was more like Dad made a deposit in a test tube. My father would never have had sex with anyone but my mother. He honestly, and in every way, adored her. Isn’t that how it is with you two?”
Erin shook her head. “We’re a bit different case. Angus was married before and has seven children. I never married. He and I are getting along now, but that’s a fairly recent situation.”
“But a positive one,” Angus argued.
“Mostly a positive one,” Erin allowed.
Surprising them both, Brianna giggled full out. “I don’t know how they gave you two all those memories you have, but you’re very convincing.”
She stood, studied them, and then turned away. Moments later they heard her sniffling.
“Brianna, are you alright, lass?” Angus asked.
Metal jingled as she nodded. “I’m fine. You remind me of how much I miss them. They were amazing people. Sheena and I didn’t get to keep them long.”
“And I bet they loved ya with everything they had. Now why are ya behind bars instead of roaming free?” Angus asked. “Does yer sister know ya are in prison?”
Brianna looked around. “Yeah, I guess being rescued is a prison from a certain point of view. I was someplace I shouldn’t have been and saw something I shouldn’t have seen. I got shot with a bionetics dart. Now I’m marked for termination by one of the most powerful crime groups on New Earth. I don’t know what the mark looks like or where it is on my physical body, but I know some assassin is trying to use it to track me down. They already killed four out of six of us. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Can’t ya go hide in the castle until they stop looking?” Angus asked. “It’s so fecking big, a whole family could disappear in it for years.”
Brianna snorted. She grabbed the bars and partially climbed them, letting her lower half drop to stretch her limbs. It was hard to be confined and it had happened to her far too often.
“I can’t go to the castle ever again. It’s likely being watched and I would never risk getting Carleton and Elsa killed. As much as I hate it, boffing some alien and having his babies for the rest of my unfortunately extended life is my only recourse. Nate told me I’d be off-planet for sure before any assassin ever found me. I’m lucky the Guardian’s latest Admiral didn’t just pass me off to the first one that came along after I asked to be let in.”
Angus huffed as he stood again. “Why hasn’t Nate called yer sister to come see ya if things are so dire? Ya need yer family’s support at a time like this. This is a big fecking life change to face alone.”
Brianna dropped to the floor again. She thought for a moment, then shook her head.
“Not a good idea. Sheena would have to deal with Nate again. I’d rather not put her through that. He hasn’t changed. Last time I saw her, she hadn’t either. I’ve caused my family enough trouble in my eighty years. She’ll get the letter I sent to Carleton to mail to her. Other than that, I’m in this alone.”
Erin crossed her arms. “No—ya are not. Angus and I are tasked with making yer perfect match. So ya have us to help ya.”
Brianna laughed. “Great. You pick someone. One alien dick is as good as another to me. I don’t care. It’s not like I’m going to love the dude.”
“Fine. I choose Darcone for ya then,” Erin said.
“Come on now. Surely, you can’t hate me already,” Brianna answered, standing and fisting both hands on her trim hips. “Darcone’s an ass. And that growling shit he does is so not sexy. He needs to learn some manners.”
“So? Teach him some,” Erin challenged.
Angus rubbed his bearded chin. “We were told Darcone was the only one who could handle ya. Nate insisted Darcone come with us today.”
Brianna hung her head and laughed. “Nate tell you why?”
“I’m beginning to think Nate doesn’t tell us anything important,” Angus said, grinning under his hand. “But yer leap on the bars and Darcone nearly going through them to get to ya filled in the interesting bits Nate left out of yer story.”
Brianna ran a hand over her hair and sent her ear jewelry dancing like wind chimes. “I was trained to fight them. It was Dad’s idea—a way to harness my natural troublemaking tendencies—but I was surprisingly good at it. I have a talent for languages. I have a talent for restraining people. Darcone’s planet takes exce
ption to women being trained to be warriors. I scare him because I’ve learned his weaknesses. His warrior abilities are considered infallible by his people.”
Erin smiled. “I know he’s scary and the other aliens are scared of him. I figured it was because of the way he looks. Is Darcone as infallible as he thinks he is?”
Brianna giggled. “At fighting—yes. But he’s shy around females… all females. That’s why his family insists he stays here. He’s been around since I was a child. I used to have a terrible crush on him. Dad and Mom would have killed me if they’d known. Mostly I admired him because he’s as lethal as a fighter gets. What you heard earlier, that was me tormenting him with the mating growl of a female on his planet. I learned it when I was a teenager. I used to sneak up behind him and do it. It was a disappointment to me that he never retaliated.”
Angus rolled his eyes. “That’s a mean stick to poke a man like him with when he’s living without female companionship.”
“Which he’s probably done for the whole two hundred plus years he’s been here,” Brianna agreed. “The alien ale helps a lot with that. It contains an universal alien dick tamer, also compliments of my clever scientist sister.”
“What?” Angus and Erin said together.
“Let me guess… you’ve been drinking it,” Brianna said, grinning at their shock.
Angus nodded numbly and glanced guiltily at Erin. “That makes that first night between us even more surprising. Or it doesn’t work on humans.”
Erin snorted and slapped Angus’s arm. “More like it worked the opposite on ya. It was Guinness that gave ya the courage nine years ago. Hearing yer cock beat the odds on alien ale doesn’t surprise me at all.”
Brianna giggled. “You’re like Mom and Dad only with no filters. Sheena will be appalled. She’s not like me.”
Erin let her chin fall to her chest as she released a frustrated breath. “I’m sorry if we’re embarrassing ya, Brianna. Humiliation finds everyone attached to my version of Angus.”
“Why am I to blame for yer blushing? Ya are the one who’s always going on about my cock. Now ya are doing it in front of fecking family,” Angus declared, lifting a hand to Brianna.
“Family. Are we family?” Brianna asked aloud, pacing her cell with arms crossed. “I suppose if you adhere to the High Science theory that familial DNA, even in small quantities, contributes to some amount of similar mitochondria replicating from related form to form, then I suppose we are family… of a sort.”
“Are you saying ya could be our child?” Erin asked, trying to follow her conversation.
Brianna snickered. “More like you could be mine. I am older than both of you, after all.”
Angus snorted. “If ya look like a fecking youth and act like a fecking youth… ya are a fecking youth, girl.”
“I’m a fecking youth?” Brianna mocked. Then she laughed. “Actually… I think I like that description.”
Erin laughed at the girl’s wicked grin. “Is there any reason ya have to stay in this fecking cage?”
“Guess not if I let Nate put a restraint collar on me and assign me keepers.”
“Is the collar painful?” Angus asked.
“No,” Brianna said. “Just embarrassing. Most aliens on this ship know who I am… and what I am.”
“Wear it so ya can spend more time with us. No MacNamara ever died of embarrassment. In fact, I’ve yet to meet one who gave a good damn about causing any,” Erin promised.
Angus snorted. “I hear what ya are implying in that statement, O’Shea.”
“Bet ya don’t know my mind as well as ya think ya do.” Erin smiled widely at Brianna. “We’ll talk Nate into assigning the aliens in yer folder as yer keepers. They can take turns while ya take the time ya need to decide on the lesser of alien evils. We’ll get Darcone to make sure they don’t try to coerce ya or take advantage.”
Brianna ran a hand over her face. “That’s rather brilliant. And I’m not afraid of them. What the hell? I guess I’m in for one last lark before I end up an alien baby machine.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Talking Nate into collaring Brianna so she could spend time with her potential matches turned out to be an easy sell. She and Angus silently lifted eyebrows as Nate quickly summoned Darcone. He sent the alien off with a collar and matching set of metal wrist cuffs.
Erin watched in fascination as Darcone glared at the devices. “Color me surprised. Nate likes the idea, but someone else doesn’t seem very happy with our plan.”
Angus chuckled. “Probably because Darcone now has to worry about Brianna’s safety in a whole different way. On the upside though, Brianna won’t look like a prisoner with more metal on her. People will just assume Brianna is accessorizing her face jinglies.”
Erin’s conspiratorial grin as she ducked her head made him want to drag her off to bed. Only it was the middle of the fecking day and they still had a huge discussion ahead of them. Angus turned his head back to Nate, who had rejoined them at his desk.
Nate nodded as he sat. “I told Darcone to put Brianna in the quarters next to yours since she seems to truly believe that the two of you are clones of her parents. That could work to our advantage over all. Got any other bright ideas today?”
Angus nodded. “Yes, actually. We want to throw Mia and Kor-el a wedding at the castle.”
Silence fell in the office. Nearly a full minute went by while they waited for Nate to take it in. “You’re joking,” he said finally.
Angus shook his head. “No, we’re very serious. We’d invite the next four or five rounds of alien suitors and women to go along as guests. It would be a simple matter for me to arrange some games as entertainment. They play these games in their common area already.”
Angus snorted in frustration when Nate shook his head. The man took no chances at all.
“Angus… there’s not nearly enough security at the castle to risk that. There’s barely enough on our airship. We keep moving all the time so that we don’t become a target for those still trying to kill the women. Sure, we’re a deterrent with all the aliens on board, but criminals in Universe 1 are stealthy. ”
“So the aliens aren’t the main problem,” Angus concluded, seeing Nate’s logic at last.
“No,” Nate replied. “It’s the safety of the women. When they’re out in the open, they’re back to being at risk. On the airship, I can constrain the threats to them. This is why I think this whole idea is crazy.”
Angus nodded. “What would it take to make the castle grounds secure enough for ya?”
Nate sat back down in his chair and leaned back. “An underground fence set up to warn us about intruders. Manned guards to make sure no one got in that shouldn’t be there. Building a giant bubble over it would be optimal. Security would take more money than the Guardians are going to be willing to spend on any experiment of that nature.”
Erin put a hand on Angus’s arm to stop him from arguing. He gave her a chastising look, but she interrupted anyway. “Director John was supposed to set up a meeting between the Guardians and us. Can we do that and ask them ourselves?”
Nate snorted. “The Guardians are not going to listen to your crazy ideas about throwing weddings as part of your matchmaking. They have too many graver concerns. The meeting with you—if it happens—will be nothing more a cursory exchange. It’s merely political. You had politics in Universe 6, didn’t you?”
“Of course. But they would do us the courtesy of hearing us out though, don’t ya think?” Erin protested.
Nate shrugged. “I don’t know. I met with them once. They aren’t like the rest of us. My grandfather wasn’t a person anyone messed with. He refused to discuss what being a Guardian was like, even with my grandmother. I know it takes all the Guardians approving a person to elect a new one, which does not happen often. They’re the only world government we allow to influence life on this planet. Actual governing is done at a province level. There are seven provinces left in the world.”
“Who runs the province where we’re located?” Angus asked.
Nate let out his breath slowly. “My mother,” he said tightly.
“Yer mother?” Erin repeated. She rolled her eyes. “Is there anyone in yer family not involved here at the highest level?”
“Not really,” Nate answered.
Silence fell in the office for a second time. They used it to glare at each other. She and Nate were still staring when Angus cleared his throat beside her. She knew he’d find a way to let go of his irritation first. The process was never as easy for her.
Angus rubbed his chin. “Let me ask a question, Nate. This is a pertinent one now since I’ve decided to stay. Are Erin and I to receive any sort of compensation for our matchmaking? Back in Lisdoonvarna, I often got paid in live chickens, or my customers paid off my tab at the pub. Perhaps another form of currency might be more useful in Universe 1.”
Nate nodded. “You will receive compensation for all current and future work. You also have complete access to the existing accounts of the original MacNamaras. As far as the world is concerned, and that includes their children, you are still the originals. Using the accounts will make that even more provable at large. If Brianna accepts you, even as clones, then no one else will blink about your sudden youthful appearances again. But that wasn’t what you asked, was it? Yes to your question about wealth—the MacNamaras had a large amount of credits accumulated.”
Angus smiled. “Good. Did Angus 1 leave enough to fix yer security concerns?”
Nate frowned. “You could probably fix one thing and still retain enough to continue the maintenance of the castle.”
Angus nodded. “Good again. If that’s the case, then I would choose to fix the underground security ya mentioned. Erin and I wanted to fix the music anyway. No one will suspect that we’re improving the security. Carleton would have to know though. As keeper of the castle, it couldn’t be accomplished without him and I don’t want to be keeping secrets from the man.”
“I haven’t said yes, Angus.” Nate glared as he stated the obvious.
Matchmaker Abduction: Aliens In Kilts, Abduction 1 Page 17