“Not if you’re unconscious you don’t.”
“But I’m not unconscious.”
“Sure you are.”
“What? Please. I just need to make one call. It’s nothing legal. I need to call a girl. I need to let her know where I am. She’ll be looking for me.”
“You should have thought of that before you embarrassed my son and his friends.”
“You can’t do this,” Forrester said, trying to rise to his feet. He couldn’t get up. The piercing pain in his ribs was too bad.
“Just tell her where I am, Sheriff. It’s important.”
The sheriff shrugged. “She’ll think you skipped town on her, son. We went to the trouble of checking you out of your hotel and impounding your vehicle. It’ll be like you were never here. By the time you get out, she’ll have moved on.”
“You can’t do this,” Forrester yelled, but the sheriff just walked out.
Forrester yelled after him but it did no good.
Fuck, he thought. How long would they keep him there? How long would Elle wait before she thought he’d run out on her?
He couldn’t bear that thought. He knew she was sensitive. He knew she had abandonment issues. He knew she had her guard up. He was the one who’d told her to trust him.
Now he’d abandoned her. The one thing he’d promised never to do. And right after asking her to give him a child.
He was so mad he wanted to punch the wall, but he contained himself. He could hear the sheriff talking to someone out in the front of the police station, and he tried to hear what it might be. He couldn’t make out the words but he found out soon enough.
It was Gris.
He came through the door and sat down on the bench the sheriff had been sitting on.
“Well, well, well,” Gris said, “we meet again, fucko.”
“What are you doing here?” Forrester said.
“Oh, I just wanted to let you know what you’re up against.”
“Looks to me like I’m up against the whole town.”
“Well, you should have thought of that before you went around making enemies. You guys come in from the big city and think the same rules apply up here in the mountains. Now you see that they don’t. It’s a whole different ballgame up here.”
“Just say what you came to say and get out of my face,” Forrester said.
“Still up for the fight, aren’t you? Still ready to go.”
“Fuck off.”
Gris nodded toward the door, and Forrester looked up and saw the sheriff there. The sheriff pressed a button and the lock to Forrester’s cell opened. Gris slid it aside and stepped in.
“I always knew you were the type to kick a guy when he was down,” Forrester said, and with that, Gris’s fist came down toward his face.
Forrester moved his head to the side and the fist missed by an inch. Then Forrester grabbed Gris’s arm and twisted it. Gris reacted by bringing his foot up and smashing it down on Forrester’s already injured ribs. Forrester cried out in pain as Gris freed his arm.
“You want some more of that?” Gris said. “I could punch those ribs all day.”
“Do whatever you want,” Forrester said. “I’ll come find you after this is over and make you pay for whatever you try.”
Forrester was in no position to be making threats, but it was enough to give Gris pause.
“I’m here to tell you,” Gris said, “that you’re going to lose Elle.”
“What the fuck do you know about it?”
“I know enough. She was my girl for three years. You learn a lot about a girl in that time.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, so let me tell you about the girl you think you want. Her own mother didn’t love her.”
“I’m not the kind of guy who’d hold that against her,” Forrester said.
“Maybe you’re not,” Gris said, with a sneer on his face that drove Forrester wild, “but she is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“She’s harder on herself than anyone else could ever be. She’s convinced no one will ever love her. I’m sure when you came along, you gave her reason to think differently, if only for a few days, but now she’ll realize it was all a con. You’re gone, just like everyone else, and I’m the only one who’ll be left. By the time you get out of here, she’ll be all mine.”
“Why are you telling me all this?” Forrester said. “You know as soon as I get out of here I’m going to find her.”
“No you’re not.”
“Why the hell wouldn’t I?”
“Because you’ll harm her even more if you do. Don’t you think you’ve hurt her enough already?”
“I’d be hurting her more if I didn’t come back for her.”
“Are you sure about that?” Gris said. “Let me tell you a little story. When Elle was born, her mother wasn’t exactly an angel. The father was long gone, and Elle’s mother was left all alone. She didn’t know what to do. She had no money, no support, and no options.”
“So what did she do?”
“She did the only thing she could do. She wasn’t exactly a whore, but she’d turned a few tricks in her day. She was determined never to go back to that life, but she owed her old pimps money.”
“And?”
“And she offered them the only thing she had to offer. She offered them her baby.”
“What?”
“Yes, it turned out that the guys who pimped her were about the only outfit in all of Nevada who’d accept a child as payment for her debt. She thought she was solving two problems at once, stupid bitch. She’d get out of her debt, and she’d find a place for her baby.”
“So she sold her baby to the pimps? I don’t fucking believe it,” Forrester said.
“Come on, fucko. You know how the world works. It’s not all daisies and unicorns. There are some bad men in the world. Pure evil. The group Elle was sold to was called Los Lobos.”
“Los Lobos,” Forrester gasped, a flash of recognition in his voice.
“You heard of them?”
“I’ve heard of them,” Forrester said grimly.
“Then you’ll know that what I’m saying makes sense. Those men bought and sold women like they were cattle. They liked nothing more than to put a little girl into slavery in the sex trade.”
“How did Elle get away?”
“Well, that’s the funny thing. Just before they started forcing her to turn tricks, just before they turned her into an underage whore, the members of Los Lobos started to get murdered, one by one.”
Forrester nodded. He knew about that. It was his brother, Jackson, who’d killed the Los Lobos members to save his own girl, Faith, and their son, Sam. It turned out Jackson might have saved Elle from a fate even worse.
“So what’s all this got to do with me being in here?” Forrester said.
“Well, look at it from Elle’s point of view. She’s been abandoned or abused by everyone she’s ever known. She’s got serious trust issues. It’s a miracle she hasn’t gone crazy from all the shit she’s been through. She was brought up by a criminal gang who wanted to turn her into a child prostitute. Think about that for a second.”
Forrester did think about it. He was thinking that if any members of Los Lobos had ever escaped Jackson’s wrath, he’d have killed them himself. His only regret was that he knew they were all already dead.
“Now, think about this. The only man Elle’s ever been able to trust is me. I’m the only thing she’s known. We have a bit of a fight and she falls into bed with you. That’s understandable. I’m not going to hold that against her.”
“She’s done with you, pal,” Forrester said.
“Quit thinking about yourself, fucko. She thinks you’ve abandoned her. She thinks you lied to her. She thinks you’re no better than all of the other men in the world who wanted to abuse her and hurt her.”
“I haven’t abandoned her. I’m in here.”
“To her, it’s all the same. You know what th
e right thing is, fucko. I’m going to take my girl back, and bring her to the safety and security of the life she’s used to. You’ve broken her heart. Hopefully, that’s all the damage you’ll do to her. I’m here to tell you, when you get out of here, which won’t be any time soon, you stay the fuck away from her. For her sake, not mine. You do what’s best for her, in the delicate state she’s in, and you let her be. Let her get on with her life. You’ve done enough damage as it is.”
As if to punctuate his argument, Gris closed with another powerful punch into Forrester’s broken ribs. Then he left the cell and waved at the sheriff to lock it back down. Then he was gone.
And Forrester was left to think about what might be going on in Elle’s mind while he was trapped in there, powerless to do anything about it.
Chapter 29
Elle
ELLE WAITED AT THE DINER until long after everyone else had left. Kelly and Grace wanted to stay with her, but she’d insisted they leave. They were exhausted from the day’s work and needed to get some sleep. Plus, Kelly really had to get home to her kid brother and spend some time with him. He was pretty independent for his age but he still needed his sister. Elle couldn’t bring herself to leave, though. She was certain Forrester hadn’t abandoned her, and she was going to stick around and give him more time. Whatever had come up, she knew he had a reason for not showing.
She sat at the counter and sipped coffee until long past midnight. Every time a car drove by on the street she jumped to see if it was him. It never was. At about two in the morning, she started to doze off. When she realized she was falling asleep, she decided to call it a night.
She hadn’t cried since her pity fest with Grace and Kelly, and even though she was on the verge of tears now, she refused to cry again.
What did she have to cry about?
He was coming back for her. She knew he was.
She changed her shoes and put on the snow boots Kelly had lent her and her coat. Then she opened the door and let the freezing air rush in around her. It felt good. She stepped out into the parking lot. There was a slight gust blowing. She turned and looked up the street. She could see some headlights in the distance. She waited for the vehicle as it approached.
Then she saw that it was a pickup truck. As it got closer, she felt her heart begin to soar in relief and happiness, but at the last minute, it turned at the intersection and she saw that it wasn’t Forrester.
She shook her head but didn’t cry. She thought about what she’d seen earlier in the day. Forrester’s truck had been right there, parked outside, and then it was gone.
She looked at the spot where he’d been parked and something caught her eye. It was difficult to see, white on white, stuck in the snow, but as it rustled in the breeze she saw that it was a crumpled up piece of paper. For some reason, she imagined Forrester had left it there. She rushed over it it, half covered in snow, and clenched it in her hand like a treasure.
It was wet and smudged, but she opened it carefully and could still make out the words. She read it in the red-tinged light of the diner’s closed sign. She read every word, and then, when she was finished, read it all again, as if it contained the secret answers to deep questions she’d been searching for her entire life.
*
Forrester Snow,
The very sound of your name still makes my stomach turn. You’re scum, boy. You’re a no good, piece of shit, son of a bitch. You killed your mother, you know.
People say you’re not to blame. You didn’t know what you were doing. You were just a baby.
I say, all that’s fine. You were a baby. You didn’t ask to be born. But you still killed her, and for that I’ll always hate you. You’re no more guiltless than the bullet that strikes its mark. The bullet doesn’t know what it’s doing, but it kills its target all the same.
That’s you, Forrester Snow. You killed your own mother, you killed my wife, and I curse the day you were conceived. If I could go back and not fuck your mother the day I made her pregnant, I’d do it. I’d erase your very existence.
I was never the perfect husband, but I loved that woman more than I could ever love you.
You’re worthless to me. You would have been worthless to her too, if she’d survived your birth. No one could love you when you were born. The truth is, I didn’t want to raise you. I tried to give you up to the county, I tried to get rid of you, but they wouldn’t take you. No one wanted you.
You were truly born alone, Forrester. You were born alone, and mark my words, you will die alone. The words of a dying man must be worth something. The curse of a dying man must be worth something.
So hear this, for this is my curse. No one will ever love you, you little piece of shit. You will destroy anyone you ever try to love. You will find no happiness, and you will give no happiness. If you ever think you’ve found the girl who’s won your heart, you run. You run away from her as far and as fast as you can.
Because if you don’t, you’ll destroy her, just like you destroyed your own mother.
Curse you.
Abraham Snow.
*
It was then that she cried. She wasn’t crying for herself, but for Forrester, and for what the letter meant. She knew all too well what a letter like that could do to a man’s heart. Even someone with the best of intentions might not be able to think or act correctly after receiving something like that from a parent. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to bear it.
Was this the reason Forrester had run out?
If it was, she’d forgive him. She wouldn’t forget him, she wouldn’t ever forget what they’d done together, but she wouldn’t hate him. He’d done what he had to do. If that meant heartbreak for her, so be it.
As the tears ran down her cheeks, she knew what had happened. Forrester was broken. He’d been broken by his own father.
Who could possibly commit to a girl, a girl he’d asked to bear him a son, after reading a letter like that from his own daddy?
He was gone. He was gone forever.
She walked down the street and she cried. She cried for Forrester, and she cried because she was heartbroken, and the worst part was, there was nothing she could do. She couldn’t even tell Forrester that she forgave him, and that she still loved him, and that he didn’t have to fall for the cruel games of his dead father.
Chapter 30
Elle
ELLE WENT TO BED QUIETLY that night. She tried not to cry but she could feel the tears as they soaked into her pillow. She lay there motionless, almost like someone dead, and then suddenly she punched her fist into the mattress.
“Damn it,” she cried.
She was mad, and she wasn’t even sure what she was mad about. Was she mad at Forrester for disappearing? Was she mad at herself for allowing herself to fall for him?
No. She was mad at life. She was mad at the world. She was mad at God.
Why was she cursed to always spend her life alone? Why was it that no matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, nothing ever worked out. She’d thought she’d found love with Gris. She’d told herself that if she just kept loving him, if she just kept treating him better than he treated her, that God would take care of the rest. God would bring her love. God would look after her.
But that hadn’t happened. Not with Gris, and not when she was a child.
She punched the mattress again. Who was she to hope for any better? Her own mother had sold her into slavery. Most people wouldn’t even believe that sort of thing was possible. She’d actually gone through it.
If it wasn’t for the strange string of murders that wiped out the entire Los Lobos gang when she was a little girl, she’d be in some dingy whorehouse right now, forced to pleasure men for money.
She’d always thought that God had saved her from the hell of the Los Lobos gang. Out of nowhere, the gang had been wiped out, and the gang members didn’t even know who was doing it. It felt like divine intervention.
But since then, her faith had been shaken and
tested, over and over. Nothing was easy. Nothing went according to plan. She worked her butt off, she gave everything to the man she thought she loved, and all she’d gotten in return was abuse.
And then Forrester came along, her knight in shining armor, and for just a brief moment she thought things were going to change. Things were going to be different.
And then he was gone, taken away from her as quickly as he’d come.
She slipped into a dreamless sleep and when she woke in the morning she felt exhausted. It was like she hadn’t slept at all. In fact, she had to check her watch to make sure it was really morning because it was still dark out.
She got ready as quickly as possible and the only good thing that happened was that the shower water was hot. Dennis had been good to his word and gotten the heat and hot water running. She tried to feel positive about it. She might be alone, but at least her life in Stone Peak was comfortable. Her apartment was cozy. She had good friends in Kelly and Grace.
I can do this, she told herself.
She grabbed her coat and made her way through a light snow to the diner.
“Elle,” Kelly said when she saw her. “Are you all right?”
Elle shrugged. “What choice do I have? Life goes on.”
“That’s the spirit,” Gracie said from back in the kitchen. “Now let me make you some pancakes before you start your shift. I’ll bet you could use a meal.”
There were no customers and Kelly, Elle and Gracie all sat at the counter together and enjoyed a stack of pancakes with bacon and real maple syrup.
“Thank you,” Elle said, to both of them at the same time.
They looked at her and smiled. “We’re in this together, Elle,” Kelly said. “Whatever happens, we’ll all help each other through it.”
“You better believe it,” Grace chimed in. “You’ll get through all of this, Elle. And don’t worry about that creep ex boyfriend of yours either. We’ve got your back.”
Elle hugged both of them and struggled to hold back yet more tears.
“You two will think I’m a real crybaby if I cry again.”
They hugged her so tightly she felt for the first time in her life that she might be a part of something. She had friends. She had support. She was only just beginning to realize how much that meant to her.
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