A Date With Angel and Other Things ...

by J. Judkins

  “Don’t forget the ice cream! That sounds like fun!” Kim cried, throwing up her hands. “And what do you mean, kind of tasty? Since when?”

  “Are you referring to your breasts, again?”

  “You’re the one that can’t stop talking about them.”

  “I wasn’t talking about them,” Angel corrected.

  “No, you were hinting at them.”

  “Does this conversation have anything to do with the whipped cream and strawberries conversation?”

  “First of all, you admitted you were thinking of me.”

  “Correct.”

  “And how tasty you thought my breasts were.”

  “I wasn’t even thinking about how tasty your breasts were.”

  ”Well, you could have fooled me, the way you…” Kim’s hands twisted, “…touch them and kiss them all the time!”

  “And I sometimes wonder if you’re hoping to get milk out of mine, but that has nothing to do with our previous conversation.”

  Kim drew back again. “You don’t have to be so graphic about it.”

  “Earlier, you indicated I was hinting at it. Not being graphic.”

  “Just stop talking about it, please?”

  Both lapsed into silence once again.

  Angel again leaned back in her chair and folded her arms behind her head. She glanced down at herself then looked back at Kim with a smirk. “Thirsty?”

  “That’s not very funny.”

  “Teasing, Kim,” she said, and her smile disappeared as if in all seriousness. "I meant, in the kitchen.”

  “Just because we haven’t done it in the kitchen yet, doesn’t mean--”

  “No. I meant, I’m going to go to the kitchen, as I would like something to drink. Would you like me to bring you back something to drink? As in, water?” Angel said, enunciating each relevant word.

  Kim’s face burned as Angel’s meaning sank in. “Yes, please.”

  Angel rose to leave. She paused at the doorway. “I’m sorry, but--“

  “But what?”

  “We do have milk, but I was saving it for something else.”

  Kim snatched up and threw the container of whipped cream at Angel’s head. She caught it with casual ease. Her laughter echoed behind her.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  “About my trust issues? There’s actually a good reason for it.” Kim accepted the glass of water and set it aside on the computer table. She took a deep breath, then said in a rush, “I don't think you're human."

  Angel froze, her own glass of water halfway to her lips. She looked back at Kim, her surprise evident, and Kim watched her with her heart in her throat.

  This is the right decision, isn’t it? If I’ve guessed wrong...

  “What do you think I am?" Angel asked.

  "Honestly? I don't know."

  "And you know this…how?”

  "It's just the little things that add up,” Kim said, then stood up, suddenly filled with nervous energy. She stopped at the bookcase and selected a novel at random, fingers tracing along its cover. “I don't think you need to sleep, for one. You're abnormally strong and fast. You learn skills instantly. On that first morning, I even noticed you weren’t breathing.”

  "Yes. I remember that morning.” Angel looked thoughtful. “You told me you were checking out my breasts."

  "I never said that!"

  Angel frowned for a moment, then smiled. "You're right. You said you were staring at them. Then you told me there was nothing wrong with them.”

  Kim could feel herself starting to blush, a slow heat slowly creeping over her.

  Angel looked down at herself. “I suppose they are kind of nice.”

  "Well, I couldn't say, ‘oh, look, I couldn’t help but notice you weren't breathing,’ now, could I?"

  "And all those times since? Each time, you were checking to see if was breathing?"

  Kim returned her full attention to the bookshelf.

  Angel cupped her breasts and adopted her best innocent expression. "Maybe you should check to see if I’m breathing now?” she asked. “To be sure?"

  "I'm glad you're so casual about it," Kim huffed.

  "It is kind of upsetting,” Angel admitted.

  Kim took a deep breath. Now is a perfect time to get a confession out of Angel.

  “But I believe in forgiveness. I believe that if a guilty party comes clean, they deserve a chance at to be forgiven.”

  “Yes, I agree. A healthy relationship is based on trust.”

  “So...anything to say, Angel?” Kim asked.

  “No more deception between us.” Angel nodded.

  “Anything specific you’d like to say to me?” Kim pressed.

  “Yes, Kim.” Angel brought Kim’s left hand to her lips and kissed her fingertips. “I forgive you.”

  Kim’s brow furrowed.

  “In all honesty, I don’t see what you’re upset about,” Angel continued. “True, you intentionally lied to me from the very beginning, but all is forgiven. I don’t believe you deceived me with any sort of malevolent intent.”

  Kim pulled her hand free. “This isn’t about me,” she retorted.

  “We can work through your trust issues together.” Angel said, undeterred. “Over time, I’m certain we can--”

  “This isn’t about me, I said! And for the record, I can’t believe you’re lecturing me about trust! You lied to me, too! What about your job as a tourist? What was that, exactly? Steal as much money as you can?"

  "How did you know I did that?” Angel asked, sounding annoyed.

  "Wait...you did? Are you saying you did?"

  The two glared at each other.

  Angel broke first. "If you need to be specific, I’d say my job was a loosely based form of tourism. I took a tour of the most dangerous parts of town, taking in the sights, looking at souvenirs and gawking at the locals. Occasionally, people tried to assault me because I looked like easy prey. I fought back.” She shrugged. “Repeat as necessary. I made decent money at it. I certainly wasn’t stealing as you suggested. Eventually, I called it a day and went home.”

  Angel leaned forward in her chair. “So you tell me, Kim. Does that make me a criminal, taking money from potential muggers and rapists?"

  "Technically, yes."

  "Robin Hood would disagree."

  "Robin Hood stole from the rich and gave to the poor. He was a famous outlaw. A criminal."

  "What about Batman? He beats up criminals."

  "True, but Batman never stole anyone’s money. And he’s fictional."

  Angel spun her chair in a half-circle, looking up at the ceiling. "So what's your point?"

  "Did you kill anyone?"

  Angel thought about it.

  She continued to think about it.

  Kim tapped her foot, waiting.

  “I’m going to say...no,” said Angel.

  "Are you sure?”

  "Reasonably sure. I didn’t check. Besides, what does a tourist with admitted memory loss know about first aid? I could have made the situation worse. Who wants to be held responsible for a botched attempt at first aid? Not me! They could turn right around and sue me."

  “You still think you’re a tourist?”

  “Of course not, Kim. You made me quit being a tourist. Remember?”

  “Did you think you were a tourist when you were a tourist?”

  “I’m going to answer that with, what in the world does that even mean?”

  Kim crossed her arms. “Do you think normal tourists would act the same way you acted?”

  “Oh! That makes more sense. To answer, in my judgment, I believe any tourist would act the same if placed in my situation. So yes.”

  “If an ordinary tourist without your combat talents were placed in your situation, what would happen?”

  Angel frowned as if in deep thought, then smiled. “An ordinary tourist would lose their fights, wouldn’t they?”

  “No, they wouldn’t fight at all.”

  Angel’s e
xpression darkened. “I maintain they would fight if they acted as I did, deliberately placing themselves in dangerous situations.”

  “An ordinary tourist wouldn’t do that, Angel."

  “Oh.” Angel did the deep thought head-tilting thing again. “I see that point, too.”

  “So you weren’t a tourist," Kim said, grinning in triumph.

  “No, that doesn’t mean I lied to you. I never lied to you.”

  Kim’s smile faded. “How is that not lying?”

  “Because I never deviated from my role as a tourist,” Angel said, matter-of-factly. “Maybe I didn’t fit the definition of tourist in the classic sense, but I never behaved in non-touristic manner. Other than the dangerous situations I placed myself in and repeated acts of violence, how did I not act like an ordinary, average tourist? I was a tourist, Kim. That was my job.”

  Kim let it go. “Fine. I kind of suspected you were doing that from the beginning, anyway.” She began ticking off points on her fingers. “Instead, you lied about getting paid, lied about having a boss--"

  "First of all,” Angel interrupted, “I am my own boss, and so I paid myself, thank you very much. Second, one of them was a boss. I could tell. He was a lot tougher than the others. Better armed. The others listened to his commands. And he dropped more loot, too."

  "But he wasn't your boss, he--"

  "Of course, he was my boss. You think I was sharing him with anyone? I was all by myself, Kim. How could he be anybody else’s boss with nobody in the group? No one else was getting experience for my fights but me!"

  "This isn't a game, Angel!”

  "I admit, I didn't think of my job as a game until after you forced me to defend my position. But consider the parallels. Given this newfound perspective, any unintentional deceptions I made are no longer false.

  “Technically, I can’t honestly say I never lied to you, but retroactively, I told the truth. That counts for something. In addition, I'm not lying now. All of these things are points in my favor.”

  Angel crossed her arms and adopted her own smug expression while Kim ran a hand through her hair. Angel’s explanations made her brain hurt. “We’re getting off topic, here.”

  “I disagree. You doubted my job. I gave you my explanation. Lies of omission aren’t technically lies at all. They’re only lies by definition, which is an exploitable technicality. It would have been nice if you had trusted me at my word,” Angel paused to give Kim a stern look of disapproval. “But since you couldn’t bring yourself to trust me despite my trustworthy nature, having never caught me in a lie before, it became necessary to clarify my position. I trust I’ve done so?”

  “My point is, this entire conversation isn’t about my own supposed trust issues,” Kim reiterated with a scowl. “I thought you weren’t human, and that’s the reason why I doubted you.”

  “That isn’t a legitimate reason not to trust me,” Angel maintained.

  “Why not?”

  “Because, I didn’t even realize I wasn’t human until after you suggested I wasn’t.”

  “Okay, that makes sense and pretty much wins the argument, but this isn’t about me. You were acting suspiciously so of course I couldn’t trust you. I thought you were deliberately lying to me."

  “All lying is deliberate, Kim.”

  Kim’s eyes widened. “You admit it?”

  “Admit what?”

  "That you lied! Now, I understand. I was wrong about you. You're one of those jerk Angels!"

  Angel blinked. "Sorry. I’m a what, now?"

  "You must have thought I was a complete idiot, falling for those inane stories of yours! Do you know what I did at work today? I wrote it all down, trying to make sense of it. You know what my conclusion was?”

  “I imagine you’re going to tell me,” said Angel, but without the eye rolling.

  “I thought you were one of the good ones! I thought my Angel was honest, and that she told me the truth when she said she lost her memory.

  “You invented a history because you needed one to get by. I get that. I can accept it and understand why you did it. I was even going to apologize for assuming you lied about your memory loss since your background story was so obviously made up.

  “But instead, you're one of those condescending jerk deceiver Angels who thought, oh, I know, I'll just make up a story on the spur of the moment, and this stupid and clueless Earth girl will never be able to figure it out!"

  "Clueless Earth girl?” Angel repeated.

  "At least if you'd actually lost your memory, you'd have a decent excuse!"

  "First of all, I don't feel that way. You're being excessively negative. If I told a story to you, why assume my story was horrible and you’d be an idiot to believe it? Why not assume I believed my story a masterwork of fiction, and give yourself credit for being clever enough to figure it out?”

  “Then you admit you made it all up?”

  “No. I said if I told a story to you. I was being hypothetical. What I said wasn’t an admission that I lied to you. I was doing nothing more than defending the definition of lying. ‘All lying is deliberate’, I said. You said ‘deliberately lying’ as if you were accusing me of another form of lying. I maintain I didn’t lie to you at all.”

  Kim opened her mouth, then closed it.

  Angel waited.

  "Okay, I see your point." Kim admitted.

  “So...not only do you think I'm not human, but you also think I’m an alien?”

  Kim froze.

  “And you deliberately concealed this information from me, as well,” Angel continued, shaking her head. “I’m very disappointed in you, Kim. We’re going to have so much make-up sex tonight.”

  For a moment, Kim couldn’t speak. “Are you saying you know what you are?” she asked, eyes wide.

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because you just finished telling me you forgot everything, that’s why not!”

  Angel gave Kim a sly smile. “Actually, I didn’t remember anything until the moment you said, ‘stupid and clueless Earth girl.’ Thanks for that, by the way. But getting back to you deceiving me, how long did it take you to figure it out? Days? Weeks?"

  "Seconds.”

  Angel blinked. "Really?"

  Kim nodded. “Pretty much the moment you said it."

  “And this belief about me hasn’t wavered in the slightest?” Angel voice was insistent, as if she were hoping to confirm something. “You’ve always believed this about me?”

  "Since the beginning. Never saw a reason to change it,” Kim confirmed, still more than a bit unnerved. Did Angel remember her old life? Or was she pretending to remember, going along with Kim’s assumptions about her?

  But why would Angel claim she was an alien if she wasn’t one? That wasn’t a way to blend in. Was she doing it because she believed Kim would accept it?

  “Are you saying I jogged your memory, somehow?” Kim wanted to be certain. “You remembered it, just now?”

  Angel became evasive and looked away. “Not all of it.”

  “What did you forget?”

  "What kind of a question is that? How am I supposed to know specifics of what I’ve forgotten? I'll know what I'm missing when you ask me for details."

  "Oh, that's convenient!"

  "Really? I thought you'd be more upset about it."

  "If you really do remember, maybe you could share some background information?"

  "Maybe I'm one of those secretive aliens?"

  "Or maybe you're making it up as you go along?”

  Angel took a long drink of her water. “That’s a very cynical point of view to take, Kim,” she said at last.

  “Do you think you could give me a believable background story that isn't a lie?"

  "Which would you believe?"

  "The truth. I want the truth."

  "Fine. I'll tell you. I was one of six--"

  "Not seven of nine?"

  Angel narrowed her eyes. “Would you like to hear my story or not?" she a
sked.

  Kim waved her hand. “Yes, I want to hear it. Go ahead."

  "Fine. I was one of six. Our group was sent to the planet surface to rescue survivors from the previous expedition. All six of us were young, nubile, and devastatingly attractive. We knew enough about your culture to dress appropriately, so each of us wore advanced bikini-style combat armor pulled straight off the pages of your own internet, designed to stun the locals into inaction while we took the time to line up headshots.”

  Kim barked a laugh.

  “What is it?” Angel snapped.

  “Sorry. Online gaming thing. Were you hoping for achievements for those headshots? Or trophies?”

  Kim’s amusement died away as Angel’s glare became a bit more withering. She shrank back into her chair. “I’ll be quiet,” she whispered.

  Angel took another drink and set her glass aside. “We were a peaceful people, but couldn't risk our more destructive weapons falling into enemy hands. That meant we needed to restrict ourselves to ordinary Earth weapons. Assault rifles, submachine guns, fully automatic shotguns and rocket propelled grenades. Nothing too extreme.

  "Unfortunately, the enemy anticipated our rescue attempt. We fought valiantly, but couldn't get past their defenses. In the end, there were simply too many of them.

  "Our commander was incapacitated, so I gave the order to retreat. ‘Find another way,’ I told them. ‘Our enemy doesn’t understand our true nature. They believe we’re nothing more than an ordinary roving band of well-armed, cutthroat, amazon mercenaries. Our true strength still lies hidden from them. Retreat for now! Rescue our friends another day!’

  "I stayed behind to cover our escape. My sisters and I could outrun them one-on-one, but our enemies had vehicles and knew the terrain. The others needed time, I knew, and I planned to give them that time. I held them off for as long as I could, then I ran for my life.

  “My path took me deeper into the wilderness. It ended at a steep cliff overlooking one of the planet’s many oceans. As I searched for a way down, I realized I hadn’t left my pursuers behind, after all. They were nearly upon me. I hadn't heard them over the sound of my own ragged breathing.

  “Only seconds remained. Capture or death. Those were my only options. I looked again to the jagged rocks below. My armor would disintegrate upon my death to prevent our people’s advanced technology from falling into unauthorized hands, and this information helped ease my final decision. Our enemies would gain nothing from me. All they would find was my corpse. My only hope was that my sacrifice would inspire my people to further greatness.