We were going to pick Elliot up and take him with us, but he made plans with James to go to North Carolina to see Luke while he's on leave. I thought about taking a detour and showing up unannounced but reconsidered when Elliot told me that this was the first time he has seen Luke in almost five years. As much as I want to see him, I also don't want to interrupt the brotherly love. Luke has three more years before his contract is over. I have no idea when Elliot will get to see him again.
My parents bought me a beach house as a graduation gift. I haven't seen it yet, but I have a feeling that I won't want to move out anytime soon. My mother has impeccable taste. Plus, it's on the ocean. Who wouldn't want to live that close to the water? After being on the east coast for so long, I'm looking forward to long walks on the beach and the warm sunshine on my face.
"What do you have left to pack," Felicity asks as she walks into my room, her hair a mess on the top of her head. She looks like she just ran a marathon.
"The movers have all the big stuff covered. All I have is my bathroom crap and I need to pack my suitcase before I empty my closet. What about you?"
"I'm done. I just finished. I think I'm going to jump in the shower and rinse the nasty off my body. Are we still going out for dinner tonight?"
Ugh! I hate going out to eat with my parents. It's the only time you see the richy rich come out in them. Add Felicity's parents into the mix and we have a collision of worlds. I can't see this going well at all.
"Did you warn your parents about my parents?" It's only fair to warn Felicity's parents. It's going to be a culture shock for everyone.
"I did. Did you tell your parents where we were going so that they can prepare themselves?" She has a smirk on her face as she asks.
"Yeah. I'm not sure they understood, but I told them." I have to chuckle to myself. I can see my mother walking into the bar dressed to the nines in all white, a look of shock on her face. My dad will be able to play it off but not my mom. She'll freak out.
We walk to the bar from our place so we can have a few drinks and not have to worry about driving anywhere. As soon as we cross the threshold of the open door, I hear my father's baritone voice and his deep laugh. I look around and find all the parents at a table in the back corner, lifting their drinks and celebrating. I watch for a minute, a smile on my face, as Felicity's parents and mine become fast friends.
By the end of the night, Felicity and I crawl our way home to bed, laughing the entire way there.
I'm sad that college is ending. I've had an amazing time here. As much as I don't want to leave, I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life. I've spent the past four years reinventing myself, becoming the person that I wanted to be. Now, I get to relax and just be that person.
Then, in three years, my plan will be complete. It may have taken longer than expected, especially with Luke signing another contract, but I'll get there. It'll happen. I've waited this long for Luke, I can wait a little longer.
MUCH TO MY SURPRISE, Felicity welcomed the cross-country road trip. There is so much that she's never seen or done. I forget that with money comes privilege. After our trip is over I can guarantee she will feel well traveled. I know I will. I even booked us a room at a resort in Reno so we can relax. By the time we get there, I'm going to need it.
Our first stop, New York City. Elliot mailed me a key last week so we are staying at his place for a few days since he won't be there. He knew I was bringing Felicity with me so his place is spotless when we walk in. I've never seen it this clean before. I wasn't even sure he knew what clean meant until I walked in and he proved me wrong.
"Elliot's a bit messy. I'm not sure what we're going to find on the other side of the door."
"It can't be that bad." I smiled at her and shook my head.
There's an envelope on the counter for me. I asked him to pick up a few brochures. I want to take Felicity to all the places she wants to see. I know the Museum of Modern Art is at the top of her list, but I'm not sure what else she wants to do while we're here. I've seen it all, but I wouldn't mind seeing it all again.
We get settled for the night and I snag the envelope off the counter. I empty the contents onto the couch between us. A note falls out along with a few brochures.
Reagan,
I hired a maid. I didn't want Felicity to think I'm a slob. I wish I could have given her the tour myself. It would have been fun to finally meet her. Tell her I say hi and to have fun. If there's anywhere you take her, make sure you visit the Museum of Modern Art. I think she'll like it a lot.
I'll call you in a few days. Have a great road trip. Hopefully, I'll see you both back home soon.
Elliot
He would hire a maid. I have a laugh before I pass his note over to Felicity. "I told you he was messy." She doesn't say anything. She smiles at me and folds the note, putting it back in the envelope before grabbing a few brochures.
"So, where do you want to go first? I was thinking we could start with either the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. We want to go to Times Square after dark so you can get the full experience. What do you think?"
"How long do we have?"
"As long as you want, really. I don't have to report to work for two weeks." Our reservation at the spa is in ten days, but I can cut out a few stops I had planned along the way. Who really needs to see the World's Largest Ball of Stamps?
"Me either. Will we have time to go to all these places?" I look down at the brochures she has spread out on the cushion. Empire State Building. Statue of Liberty. Central Park. Museum of Modern Art. Rockefeller Center. Times Square.
"It'll take a few days, but we have plenty of time."
We spend the next few hours mapping out our time in NYC before turning in early. It's going to be a long few days, but it'll also be a ton of fun. We are starting with the Museum of Modern Art and the last thing we are doing is going to Central Park. I let Felicity decide where we go and when. This trip is for her after all.
New York City was a blast. Felicity didn't want to leave. If I hadn't forced her in the car, we may never have left. The promise of more fun ahead kept her from pouting all the way to Chicago.
We spend two days seeing the sights in Chicago. I hadn't been there since I was a kid so it was fun for me too. We visited Shedds Aquarium, Navy Pier and Millennium Park. I took Felicity to the Magnificent Mile for dinner and shopping. I found a few new things that I couldn't live without myself.
We stopped at the World's Largest Ball of Stamps even though I tried to skip it. Felicity insisted that she had to see it. I have to say, it was pretty cool.
Driving through the plains was the hardest part of our trip. There's not much to look at. Fields and highway stretching as far as the eye can see. I was glad when I saw the sign for Denver, even if it was still over a hundred miles away. I was excited to see the Denver Botanical Gardens. I was also ready to rest up for a day or so.
Two days in Denver and we needed to get back on the road. The botanical gardens were amazing. We also went to the zoo. I found out that Felicity is a lover of all animals. She made sure we didn't miss a single animal and the zoo is huge.
Reno is our next stop, but it seems like fate has a way of intervening. Not only did we see a sign for a ghost town and decided to stop but as soon as we were back on the road, we saw a sign for a winery. At that point we knew we were going to call it a day. More than one glass of wine after all the traveling we're doing and I'm going to crash.
It took four glasses of wine and a bottle to go. We ended up staying up late in our hotel room, laughing and drinking wine. Our trip has been amazing so far. We're almost home now and I'm sad that it's going to come to an end. Maybe we should make this an annual trip, something we take the time to do together every summer. That would be fun. Maybe not quite as long a trip from now one but still a substantial length. 3,000 miles is a bit far.
Felicity asks if we can skip Reno and keep driving. We're only four hours from home and she says it makes
no sense to stop again. It's a little after five and I see her point, but I really wanted to pamper her one last time before we have to start being adults. It was a surprise, the spa. I have to tell her if I'm going to convince her to stop.
"There's a spa in Reno that I made reservations for us at. I can cancel them if you really want to keep going, but I was hoping that we could pamper ourselves one last time before we have to grow up and be adults." I give her my "pretty-please" look as she likes to call it. I only pull it out when I really want something. Right now, I really want a mud bath and a massage.
"That actually sounds amazing, Reagan. Thank you for everything. This has been the most amazing trip I've ever been on and it wouldn't have been as much fun with anyone else."
Her words bring tears to my eyes. I'm so lucky to have found Felicity. I wouldn't have made it through college without her pushing me, keeping me grounded and believing in me.
July 3, 2009
Luke,
I'm not sure why I'm writing you. I'm not even sure if the address I have is right. I guess I'm just checking in. I want you to know that I'm not living in New Haven anymore.
I graduated from Yale a few months ago and now I'm back in Pacific Grove. I'm right on the water. I never thought that I would want to be so close to it, but it's amazing. We spend most of our nights sitting on the back porch drinking wine and talking.
Felicity is here with me. Did I ever tell you about her? She was my roommate at Yale. She's amazing.
There's so much that I want to tell you but not in a letter. I want to talk to you, discuss the last four years of my life with you. I really wish you would come visit.
Elliot told me that you signed up for another four years. I hope you didn't do that to avoid seeing me. I get the feeling that you did. I wish I knew why. Where I went wrong. I wish I could fix this, fix us. Things were supposed to be different, remember? We were going to be great together. Like I said, I wish we could talk about this, in person.
I hope things are well with you, wherever you are.
Reagan
WORK. HOME. WORK. HOME.
My life feels like a swinging door. On one side of the door is my bed where I sleep for a maximum of six hours a night. On the other side is my office where I spent at least twelve to fourteen hours a day. When I took this job, I don't think I realized what kind of a commitment it would entail. I've made progress, but it's taken me a ton of time.
A year and a half to be exact. I was promoted after being with the company just less than a year. At 24 years old, I'm the youngest CEO they've ever had. My hours are crazy, but the rewards are greater for my hard work. There's more travel and less personal time. If I were attempting to create a lasting relationship with anyone, I would be concerned. It's a good thing that's not the case.
I've missed out on a lot. I worked straight through the holidays this year. My parents wanted to take me on vacation to Europe after Christmas and I wasn't able to get away. I spent New Year’s Eve in my office, got home just in time to see the ball drop and then I went to bed.
In a weird way, I miss college. I miss having holiday vacations. I miss being able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's rewarding as hell, especially now that things are on the right track, but it's not fun.
I'm leaving the office after only ten hours for the first time in months. I don't feel guilty, either. Everything is done. No loose ends to tie up when I go back to work on Monday. I can relax and enjoy my weekend. Hopefully without any calls from clients.
I'm not a lawyer, but you would think that I am from time to time with as many calls as I field.
Tonight is my first date in over three months. I'm excited to be able to relax and enjoy myself without having to worry about anything. Felicity is going to double with me. Will seems like a nice guy, but I don't know him very well so I convinced him to find a friend to double with us.
Felicity seems excited about it. I can't remember the last time she went out on a date. She's been on a few since we moved here but not many. She devotes most of her time to work like she devoted her time to school.
I call Felicity on my way home to let her know that I'm almost there. I can hear the excitement in her voice to be free for the weekend. We're meeting the guys at a bar close to our place for dinner and drinks. I have a little less than an hour to get home and change before we need to be out the door.
Felicity is waiting for me the second I walk through the door, talking a mile a minute about her day. I've never met anyone that loves their job as much as Felicity does. She makes getting ready a challenging process as she follows me from room to room.
We're out the door and on our way to the bar in record time. I want to get there before the guys do. I need a drink to calm my nerves. I haven't been nervous like this in years. I met Will a few months ago at the gym. He's one of their personal trainers. I accidentally hit on him a few weeks ago. I didn't think he was within earshot but when his head whipped around I knew I was wrong. Instead of the reaction I was expecting, he smiled at me and flirted right back.
Taking my first sip, I feel my body relax slightly. I'm going to need a few more before I'm completely ready for this night to begin, but I'll get there. Felicity's excitement faded the second I turned the car off. She's been quiet ever since we sat down.
"What's on your mind?" I ask her as I take another sip of my Bacardi and coke.
"Nothing. I guess I'm a little nervous." She's twisting the stem of her wine glass between her thumb and forefinger.
"There's nothing to be nervous about. If the guy’s a douche we'll leave."
"Maybe nervous isn't the word. I don't know anything about this guy and neither do you. That scares me a little. I have no idea what to expect. Will he be tall or short? Thin or fat? Handsome or repulsive? I just wish I knew something about him. Anything. What does he do for a living?"
"I didn't ask Will. This was a spur of the moment decision. I'm sure he's nice."
Her eyes focus on her wine for a few seconds before she takes a large sip. We wait for the guys in silence. I hear Will's voice before I see him. I turn around to wave and notice who's with him. I'm going to throw up.
Walking beside Will, directly towards our table, is none other than Frank Collins. An acquaintance from high school. A person that I could live the rest of my life without seeing again and never miss. He was friends with Luke until he stabbed him in the back their senior year when he slept with Luke's girlfriend. Not the kind of guy I want anywhere near me or Felicity.
Elliot beat the crap out of him after Luke left for boot camp because Luke refused to acknowledge the situation. He broke up with Jenna and moved on. Frank would try and get Luke riled up in the halls, hoping for a confrontation, but Luke acted as if he wasn't fazed by it. In the beginning, I thought he was hiding his feelings. It wasn't until after our kiss I realized that he actually didn't give a shit.
Frank did him a favor. He ended things with Jenna for him. After almost two years of dating her, Luke was free. He didn't have to make up a reason or lie to her. Her feelings didn't get hurt. I'm sure he would have broken it off with her before he left anyway.
"Reagan?" Frank's voice carries over the music and slaps me in the face. Damn! He recognizes me.
"You know, Reagan?" Will asks in surprise.
"Yeah. We went to high school together." He turns toward me and smiles. That's the same smile that I hated when we were younger. There's always a motive behind his smile and it's never a good one. His eyes drop from my face to my chest and descend lower as he speaks. "It's been a long time."
"Not long enough." The words slip out before I have the chance to filter them. Will gives me a questioning look before he steps between Frank’s eyes and my body.
"I'm going to grab a drink at the bar. Would you ladies like anything?" His smile is tentative. I don't know him well enough to know what he's thinking, but I wish I did. He's obviously uncomfortable with the way Frank
is looking at me.
"No, thanks." I respond before turning my attention to Felicity. "I think we're going to head out, actually. Maybe we can get together another time."
Felicity gets the hint and grabs her purse. I toss some money on the table for the waitress and stand. We're out the door seconds later. I don't bother saying goodbye. With friends like Frank, I can't help but question Will's judgment.
Felicity and I spend the rest of the night watching movies and eating popcorn. I'm disappointed that things went south before we had a chance to get to know each other, but it's probably for the best. Will may have been the only plan that I had at the moment, but he was a still a short term plan.
That doesn't stop him from calling me the next morning. Or the next afternoon. He leaves messages that I delete without listening to. He sends me a text message and I don't respond. After 24 hours of silence, I think he finally gets the hint. Now I'm going to have to change gyms.
The morning sun warms my face while the cool breeze off the water keeps me from overheating. My feet pound against the sand, digging in slightly, as I make my way to my marker. The halfway point in my run is a little over half a mile. I've thought about increasing my distance, going a full mile before turning around. It's not worth it in the end. I would have to wake up earlier if I wanted to make it work on time and I would be worn out by the time I got there. I need my energy, and my sleep, if I'm going to make it through the next few months.
Elliot is graduating from grad school in May and then he's coming home. I can't wait to see him. He wasn't able to make it home over the holidays and I have been too busy to even think about trying to plan a trip to see him. Only a few months and then we can reunite. I'll probably be sick of him after only a few days, but I'll still be happy that he'll be closer.
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