Jimmy went to Kendall. He needed to find out exactly what she wanted, because he knew she wasn’t here just to unite father and son. “So what is it? What’s the real reason you brought him here? Child support? Because I’m not giving you a dime until I take a paternity test.”
“Yes. Among other things.”
Jimmy braced himself. “Like what other things?”
“I’m tired of being a single parent. It sucks. Go take that paternity test. If he’s yours – like there’s any doubt – you’ve got some growing up to do.” She turned back toward the kid. “Let’s go. It’s way past your bedtime.”
Tommy helped Mason off the stool. The kid took Tommy’s hand and pulled him toward his mother. As they got closer, Jimmy realized the kid was coming for him, not Kendall.
“Those your drums?”
Jimmy stared down into pale blue eyes that resembled his own, and a connection immediately tied them together. A wave of emotion washed over him and stole his voice. He squatted down to Mason’s level. “Yeah. They’re my drums. You played them really well. Good job. Maybe you can come back and play them again sometime.”
Mason’s feet did a little happy dance, and his face lit up with excitement. “I can? Really?”
Jimmy nodded because the lump in his throat prevented him from speaking.
The kid balled his hand into a fist. “Awesome!”
A smile spread across Jimmy’s face, and his heart was filled with love. He wanted this kid to be his son. First thing in the morning, he was going to take that paternity test. Tonight, he needed to make things right with Audra, if that was at all possible.
The world collapsed around Audra. She couldn’t breathe and gasped into her pillow. She struggled to stabilize her erratic breathing, but the sobs wracked her body. Her heart was wounded and crushed – broken. She’d never entertained the notion that Jimmy might have fathered a child with someone. The idea that Kendall was the mother of his child was a nightmare. She had despised Kendall since she was a teen and first started going to The Quadrangle. Kendall had wronged every person she came into contact with. Audra couldn’t handle someone like that in her life, or in Jimmy’s.
There was pounding on her apartment door. She knew it was Jimmy, but she didn’t want to see him. She didn’t even want to talk to her sister and sent Kira away not long ago.
“I know you’re in there,” Jimmy’s voice came through the door. “Talk to me. Please. I love you, Audra.”
The longing and sorrow in his voice made her heart ache a little more, and she gave in to his pleas. She wiped her eyes, straightened her back and opened the door.
Jimmy rushed at her and wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t run out on me. I need you. I love you. We can get past this.”
Audra collapsed in his arms and held him tightly. She loved Jimmy and wanted a life with him, but a son and Kendall weren’t part of the life she envisioned or wanted. Their relationship was a volatile roller coaster, filled with dramatic highs and lows. She pulled sharply away from him and shut the door before her neighbors heard them. She didn’t need any more bad publicity. She blotted the tears that hung in the corners of her eyes and walked into the living room to get away from him.
He followed and spun her around to face him. “I’m sorry this happened, and I’m sorry about the way you found out about it.” Jimmy shook his head and sighed. “Man, I still can’t believe it. I keep thinking it’s a bad dream or something.”
She saw the confusion and hurt in his eyes and his sullen expression. Her heart went out to him. He was trying to do the right thing by her and be a good man, and the odds were always stacked against him. He was just as much a victim as she was. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m taking a paternity test before anything else.” He shrugged. “After that, I have no fucking idea.”
“I didn’t even know you were with her, Jimmy. I knew you screwed around with half the girls in The Quadrangle, but her? Really?”
“It was different back then. I was different. She didn’t mean anything to me, and you heard her say she didn’t want me. It was a quick fling, nothing more. It lasted maybe two weeks. I swear.”
He took her hand and brought it to his lips. His tender kiss pressed his love into her veins. “You know I’ve changed, Audra, and it’s all because of you. You made me forget that lifestyle. My life’s on track. We have a future, but if this kid’s mine, he’s gotta be in it. I don’t know how it’s gonna work, but I need to know you’re on board with me.”
Her gut ached, and her heart was torn. She wasn’t ready for an instant family, and she vehemently refused to engage in a future that involved Kendall. “I love you, Jimmy, and I could get used to the idea that you have a kid . . .” She slowly shook her head. “But I can’t live with someone like Kendall stirring up trouble in our lives every chance she gets. She’s manipulative and evil. You know the things she’s done.”
Jimmy’s eyes darted back and forth with fear and panic. “But she hasn’t succeeded. She tried to blackmail Angel, and Jessi outsmarted her. She tried to sabotage Jessi’s store, and Jessi saw through her plan right away. She tried to sick the paparazzi on them, and your father squashed it. She’s met her match, Audra. She’s not invincible – not even close.”
Audra’s heart was weakening. She knew she would have the support of the band, especially Jessi, but she didn’t know if she was ready to take on the burden. Their relationship was new and fragile. She was still getting used to the idea of girls constantly throwing themselves at Jimmy and the resentment from the fans, and now she’d have to deal with the crazy unstable likes of Kendall. She buried her face in her hands and let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know. I’m too overwhelmed right now. I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything. I’m swamped with work and now this gets thrown in my lap. My head is spinning.”
Jimmy stared at her for a long time without saying anything. His eyes searched hers for an answer, but there was none to reveal. She saw the acceptance wash over Jimmy’s face. He lowered his eyes, and defeat settled across his countenance with a slight frown. “I’m not going anywhere, Audra. I live downstairs now. We work together. None of that’s going to change. You’re going to be in my life. I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted, and I’m not giving up without a fight. I’ll do whatever I have to in order to protect you – to protect us. I’ll hire a team of lawyers to keep her away from us, or whatever needs to be done, but before anything else, I need to confirm that the kid’s mine.”
Chapter Eighteen
The past few days rocked Jimmy to his core, as he waited for the result of the paternity test. Now that the envelope was in his hand, he felt worse. He carried it through the lobby and onto the elevator, never removing his eyes from his name typed on the envelope. Instead of going up to his new apartment, he pressed the button for the 30th floor. He wanted to read the test results with Audra. She had barely spoken to him since the night Kendall showed up. Their conversations were awkward, hindered by the obvious question that hung between them – what were they going to do once the paternity test confirmed that Mason was his son?
He knew Audra was home. He had heard her walking upstairs before he left his apartment to pick up his mail. He exited the elevator and walked down the hallway. A solemn knock announced his arrival.
Audra was surprised to see him. “Jimmy. I didn’t—”
The sight of the envelope in his hand silenced her. She stared at it, much like Jimmy had for the last few minutes. “What did it say?”
“I didn’t open it yet. I want to read it together.” He walked into the living room, sat down on the couch and stared at the envelope while he waited for her to join him.
She sat next to him and wiped the palms of her hands on her jeans. “Go ahead.”
He didn’t need to read the results. He knew Mason was his kid. He pressed his lips together and turned the envelope over in his hands. Once he unsealed it, his life would change forever. The bea
utiful woman at his side may desert him, and he would have another human being to look after. He focused on the memory of the sweet kid with a bright-eyed love for the drums. He could offer that kid the world. He was filled with so much pride his heart was about to burst – until he turned and saw the sadness in Audra’s face.
She wrung her hands together. “Just open it and let’s get this over with already.”
Her words stung. He wanted the test to confirm that Mason was his son. Audra wanted the exact opposite.
He ripped open the envelope and unfolded the paper. Audra leaned toward him, and they silently read the paternity result at the same time. It was conclusive. He was Mason’s father. An abundance of conflicting emotions soared through Jimmy’s head. He was filled with intense fulfillment and overwhelming love for the child he barely knew but somehow already bonded with. In a split second he envisioned a lifetime of parenthood, experiencing the joys and achievements of his son. At the same time, he was overcome with fear and apprehension about the future. He couldn’t give up his music, and he wasn’t going to shirk his responsibility as a father. How could he integrate the two without either one of them suffering? And where did it leave Audra? Jimmy knew she loved him, but she wasn’t going to put up with Kendall’s intrusion in their lives.
He placed the sheet of paper and the envelope down on the coffee table and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. A long sigh expressed his concern. “Where does this leave us?” He turned to face her, and as soon as their eyes met, she burst into tears.
She covered her face with her hands and made tiny gasping noises. It ripped Jimmy’s heart out. He put his arms around her and rested his lips against the side of her head. “Don’t cry. I’m so sorry to put you through this, but I need you. This doesn’t change anything.”
She pulled away from him. “It changes everything!”
“He’s my son. There’s room for both of you in my life. I know it’s going to be a little different—”
“It’s not him, Jimmy. It’s her! I can’t deal with Kendall and her devious, calculating mindset. I never could. I don’t want her in my life. I don’t want her in your life.”
“I don’t want her in my life either, but I can’t turn my back on my kid. Please don’t turn your back on me.”
She looked defeated, with her shoulders slouched and her head hung low. “I love that you want your son in your life, and if it had been with anyone else, I could probably deal with it . . . but not Kendall.”
“Can’t we at least try? Don’t we deserve the chance?”
Her eyes filled with tears again. “She’s just going to ruin our lives. That’s what she does.”
His heart raced out of control and fear gripped his soul. He wouldn’t let Audra go. He’d waited too long for love, and he wasn’t about to lose it. He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips on hers. She threw her arms around him. When their lips parted, she held onto him and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I love you, Jimmy, but I just don’t know if I’m up for this fight.”
Chapter Nineteen
Jimmy tapped his foot on the hardwood floor faster than he kicked his bass drum in a maddening rendition of Dirty Love. A flutter of nervous energy made him pace through his apartment from one end to the next. He stopped in front of the window and stared into the sprawling trees of Central Park below and wondered about the things three-year-olds liked to do. He had nothing planned for the first visit from his son. His stomach flip-flopped when he realized that he already made his first mistake as a parent – he was unprepared. He had nothing in his apartment to entertain a child. The kid would probably be bored to death and never want to come back.
He wished Audra would have agreed to join him so she could get to know Mason, but she wanted him to spend one-on-one time with his son. Although she hadn’t totally written off their relationship, she hadn’t committed to it either, and Jimmy didn’t want to pressure her. As long as Kendall behaved, he was sure Audra would come around to accepting the situation . . . but when did Kendall ever behave reasonably? The uncertainty of the future throbbed in his head, while he envisioned a multitude of horrible scenarios where Kendall tried to undermine their happiness.
A knock on the door stilled his tapping foot. He was about to fulfill his first role as a father. He took a deep breath before he opened the door to calm his nerves. The older woman known as Aunt Mary stood behind Mason. Her graying hair was pulled back and tied in an elastic band, and a black handbag dangled from the crook of her elbow. “Say hello to the nice man,” she said as she smiled down at Mason.
Mason raised his hand to wave, but his arm froze when recognition hit. His eyes widened and his mouth opened into a smile. “I remember you!”
One little smile from his son banished all anxiety, and Jimmy was filled with intense love for the child. He squatted next to Mason so he was on the same level as his son. “Do you want to hang out with me for a few hours? I could show you how I play the drums.”
Mason nodded his head up and down really fast. “I like to play drums.”
Laughter bellowed from Jimmy’s mouth. This kid was definitely a Wilder. “Come on in and take a seat on the couch, while I say goodbye to your Aunt Mary.”
Mason raced into the apartment and hauled himself onto the couch. He rhythmically kicked the heels of his feet against the bottom of the couch as he impatiently waited for Jimmy.
“Are you going to be okay alone with him, Mr. Wilder?” Aunt Mary drew her brows together with concern. “Little boys get into trouble very quickly. You can’t leave him alone for one minute.”
“He’s my kid. I’m not going to let anything happen to him.”
“I hope not. I told my niece she was crazy leaving her son alone with a total stranger. I’m staying close by. Make sure you call me if you need anything.” She shoved a piece of paper in his hand with her phone number on it.
She was overprotective of the child – something Jimmy wasn’t expecting. He gave her his most reassuring smile. “We’ll be fine, and my lady is right upstairs if I need any help.”
She seemed satisfied with his answer and turned toward Mason with her arms open wide. “Come give me a hug.”
Mason ran to his aunt, wrapped his arms around her legs and squeezed. The two clearly had a close and loving relationship. She smiled down at him and placed her hand on the back of his head. “Mind your manners. I’ll be back in a little while.” She shot Jimmy a warning in the way of a hard stare before she left them alone together.
Jimmy looked down at his son, who stared back at him with an expectant gaze. A small laugh broke free. Jimmy still couldn’t believe he had a son. “So what do you want to do first, little man?”
“You said drums.”
The kid had a one-track mind, and it echoed with familiarity. “Follow me. I’ll show you where I play.” On the walk through the apartment and into the spare bedroom that had been converted into a soundproof drum studio, Mason grabbed Jimmy’s hand. It was a subtle gesture, probably more out of habit than anything else, but it hit Jimmy hard and left an emotional lump in his throat.
As soon as they reached the entrance to the drum studio, Mason pulled out of Jimmy’s grasp and ran to the new Pearl kit that dominated the room. It was a beautiful 14-piece setup with royal blue metal flake paint. He was breaking it in for the Australian tour. His old Tama kit sat on the opposite side of the room facing it. Ironically, the room looked as if it was staged for a pair of dueling drummers. When the new Pearl kit first arrived, Jimmy had envisioned his dad on one set, and him on the other. Now he saw himself and Mason as the father/son pair.
Mason tried to climb up on the stool so fast he almost slid off. Jimmy raced across the room and caught him. “Whoa, easy kiddo.” He helped his son get into position and handed him a pair of drumstick. He let Mason play, without guidance, to freely formulate his own rhythm.
It was amazing to listen to the creative natural flow of beats tha
t poured from the hands of a boy who had no idea about the gift he possessed. It was a beautiful boom that filled Jimmy with awe. He was mesmerized while he watched the raw talent of his son. Naturally, it needed to be polished and honed in, but the aptitude that lived within this small child was something Jimmy had never seen. He needed to show the band. He needed to show his father. Shit. Everything happened so quickly, he forgot to tell his parents they had a grandchild. He’d call them as soon as Mason left.
Jimmy was amazed at the love he had for his son. He thought his chest was going to explode from the pride emanating from his heart, and his cheeks were stretched to their capacity with his wide smile.
Mason’s eyes were focused. He was absorbed in the music while his hands pounded on the snare and toms. The way Mason used his foot on the bass drum instead of the pedal was an immensely talented show of coordination. It was incredible. When the sticks came to rest and the thunder of the last beat died down, Mason was out of breath, with a big open smile on his face.
Jimmy applauded. “That was aces, buddy!” He wanted to scoop the kid up in his arms, but he was hesitant about offering physical affection in their newfound relationship. Instead, he took a step closer and placed his hand on his son’s shoulder and gave him an affectionate squeeze. “You rock, kid!”
Mason’s smile widened, and a happy laugh floated out of his mouth like a beautiful melody.
Jimmy retrieved a small bottle of water from the mini fridge in the corner and handed it to his son. “You look like you should take a rest for a few minutes. Drumming that hard takes a lot outta you.”
Mason hopped off the stool and started to guzzle the water.
“Hey, slow down. Don’t drink so fast.” The last thing he needed was for the kid to throw up or get a belly ache.
Water dribbled down Mason’s chin and onto his T-shirt. He looked down at the stain. “Oops.” Then he giggled.
Nothing had ever warmed Jimmy’s heart like the sound of his son’s laughter. The entire day was surreal. A bit of melancholy and sadness diminished his euphoria as his thoughts drifted to Audra. He wanted her to share this experience with him. He wanted her to experience Mason. He knew she’d fall in love with his son, and Kendall wouldn’t matter. He needed to give Audra time to accept the idea, just like he needed to wait for her to accept that he had changed before she would embark on a relationship with him. She didn’t let her father stand in the way of their love, so why should Kendall? Surely, Mr. Abelman was a much more lethal force than Kendall Rose.
Rock Star Redemption Page 16