Her Secret Thrill

by Donna Kauffman

  He truly enjoyed the work, but lately it seemed that he solved one problem only to have three more crop up. His dad kept telling him to train a few other people so he could dole out the workload a bit more and not travel as much. But he’d never had a reason to really contemplate it. His life was his job, and he hadn’t minded it taking all his time and attention. Until he’d met Natalie.

  He sat down on the side of the bed, for the first time thinking that delegating might not be such a bad idea. He wasn’t a control freak by any stretch, but he’d always been the one to handle the serious glitches and it was hard for him to admit he couldn’t keep up with the demand. Harder still to step aside and trust someone else to handle them as thoroughly and with as much dedication as he would.

  He glanced at his laptop, thinking about the e-mail his dad had sent with a list of names he might consider. He knew he wasn’t giving up control or responsibility. What really bothered him was that he wasn’t cut out to be a manager. It wasn’t a role he looked forward to playing. That was his sister Julie’s forte.

  He liked being his own boss, his only responsibility to get the job done for the company. If he had to start worrying about how everyone else was handling the job… His head throbbed at the mere thought of it.

  Which left him precisely where? He found his thoughts drifting back to the home ranch. His great-great-grandfather, Lamont Lannister, had been the one to start the family cattle business after he’d settled in the West. Jake wondered if he’d ever in his wildest dreams thought it would lead to an internationally respected holding.

  He’d been raised on that land, in the original house, or at least the part of it that remained. But no matter where he traveled, his heart was back on that ranch. He’d always had a love for the basics of ranching, the intricacies of breeding. It was a fascination he shared with his father. Of course he loved his job, but more and more lately Jake found himself thinking of the Double L. His parents still called that home, although they spent less and less time there.

  It was too cold, his dad complained. His mom had surprised him by agreeing, and three years ago they’d bought some land in Arizona, close to their corporate offices there. Both parents were still integrally involved in the company, but his dad now indulged in breeding some newer types of longhorns, mostly for fun rather than profit, and his mom had become involved in several organizations in Tempe and was more relaxed than he’d seen her in some time.

  The Double L, by rights, would go to his older brother, Tom. But Tom lived in Casper and wasn’t much for the ranching life. Julie and his younger brother, Steve, were both married and enjoyed the city corporate life, as well. He supposed he did, too, as his condo was downtown, but he was rarely there. When he thought of home, he automatically thought of the ranch. Where are you going with this?

  Quite honestly, he didn’t know. Of course, his parents would jump on this with both feet if they knew. They’d say he was ready to settle down. He was the only unmarried child left in the immediate family. Fortunately Steve’s wife had just given the family a third grandchild, so the focus was off him for the moment. He wondered what they’d think of Natalie.

  He shook his head. From babies and settling down, right to Natalie. He needed a break from the near-constant travel, that was all. Natalie had simply come to represent the rest and relaxation he’d somehow lost along the way. He was making way more out of his preoccupation with her and the ranch than was warranted. He’d already been in two other cities since Chicago, and there were three more unscheduled trips now penciled in for the next ten days, one overseas. Maybe after that he’d take a weekend off and head out to the Double L.

  Then there was New Orleans. Two days with Natalie with only a few hours needed for work. What would it be like to have the whole night with her? To wake her up in the morning and not have to rush off to the airport?

  He wondered what Natalie would think of the ranch.

  “Okay, enough.” He set about unpacking. Besides, she was a city dweller, like his siblings. She’d probably hate it. One more reason not to call her at work and push what was, in every other way, the perfect relationship.

  He dug out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, trying to ignore how little comfort he’d drawn from that conclusion. He had some work to do before his dinner meeting. The first of which was going to be to look at that list and start the ball rolling on training some help.

  He’d get over the management duties part of it. It was bound to happen at some point. Although Tom would likely be the one to take over the helm of the company when his parents finally decided to fully retire, Jake knew the time would come when more would be expected of him than the rogue troubleshooting role he played now. He just wished he was more excited about it.

  Of course, if he delegated more now, it would mean less travel, less chance of total burnout. Also less chance of scheduling time with Natalie. Unless he went ahead and pursued her openly, and to hell with the boundaries.

  That made him pause. “Well, hell, Lannister, if you’re going to make some changes, might as well start with the one you want most.” And just like that, before he could change his mind, he scooped up the phone and dialed her office number.

  Two minutes later and several tries to cradle the receiver later, he was still attempting to deal with the blow he’d just taken.

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Holcomb has taken a sabbatical. May I direct your call to her temporary replacement?”

  He’d sat there, dumbfounded, long enough for the person on the other end to repeat the message. Just in case he wasn’t sufficiently blown away the first time. He’d managed to mumble something and end the call.

  He stared at the stack of notes on the bed and snatched them up. He tore through them, knowing this was the only place she’d try to contact him. He went through the stack twice. No note.

  “What the hell is going on?” He threw the notes on the bed. Was she still going to meet him in New Orleans? Damn! He hated feeling so bewildered, so helpless. Where was she? Did she need him? Why in the hell had she left her firm, even temporarily? He realized just how little he really knew about her. Where would she go? Was she home? Was it her pal, Liza? Her family?

  He stood and paced the room. Should he call her place in New York? He had that number, too. He sat heavily on the side of the bed. If she needed him, she knew she could contact him here in Dallas. What was really upsetting him was that something had happened to her…and she hadn’t turned to him for help.

  He braced his head in his hands. Wasn’t this precisely what you wanted? his inner voice taunted. No snags, no real life problems, no annoying problems left for you to solve? He shoveled his fingers through his damp hair. So, okay, yes, that’s what he’d thought he wanted. He swore long and loud and flopped back on the bed. And it had stopped being what he wanted the moment he’d first made love to her.

  “So where in the hell does that leave me?” he asked the ceiling. He glanced over at the phone and knew he wasn’t going to call her. What he was going to do was start making some changes in his life. Then hope like hell she showed up in New Orleans. After that, all bets were off.

  “YOU’RE ACTING like a child.” Natalie waited outside her father’s bedroom door. His locked bedroom door. “Okay, fine. I’ll send Nurse Ratchet up instead.” She counted to ten, then smiled wearily when she heard the lock click off.

  She entered the room to find her father standing at the window, looking out on the rear formal garden. “I don’t understand why I can’t simply be left alone. I am, after all, a grown man.”

  If Natalie wasn’t so tired of this discussion, she’d have pointed out the petulance in his tone. But that would get her nowhere. Neither would whining or kowtowing. No, what worked with her father, or at least had the best chance of working, was directness.

  “Yes, you are a grown man. But even after this, you think you are indestructible.”

  He swung around, ready to defend himself, but she cut him off. Quietly, but effectively.
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  “I happen to love you. Very much. That’s why I’m here.” She found a small smile in the face of her father’s sudden discomfort. It shouldn’t be endearing, but it was. It was perhaps his greatest weakness, but one she forgave him for. His guidance and advice might be misdirected, but she knew he loved her. “I came home because I was very afraid that, left to your own hard-headed ways, you’d end up in the hospital again.” Her breath caught and surprising tears rose to her eyes. “I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to lose you.”

  Had he been another kind of man, he might have opened his arms and welcomed her into them. But she didn’t expect what he wasn’t able to give. That way she wasn’t disappointed. He did have to clear his throat before he spoke, and she took her measure of comfort in that small, but telling, action.

  “I’m not used to being dictated to, Natalie. I can certainly appreciate the scare I gave you and the others. I wasn’t too keen on the experience myself.” He looked to the window again. “For that I apologize.”

  “Dad—”

  He lifted his hand to stall her, but remained facing the window. Apologies came hard enough to him, so she didn’t push. “But I won’t stand for your mollycoddling, Natalie.”

  She sighed. He was such a stubborn fool.

  He turned, and she was taken aback again by just how much this latest episode had aged him. Or at least revealed the fragility of his health. He’d always been robust of frame and of voice and temperament. Larger than life, even though he was barely taller than her. Now he looked…well, like a senior citizen. “I hardly think making sure you’ve taken your medication is mollycoddling.”

  “There is a nurse here for that.”

  “And this is already nurse number—what, three? Four? It’s only been ten days.”

  “I can’t help it if they can’t handle their responsibilities.” He waved away the discussion, a common tactic when he was fighting a battle he might not win. “I didn’t ask you in here to discuss the sorry state of medical professionals.” He folded his hands in front of his thick robe. “You know I’m glad to have you back home where you belong.”

  Natalie knew where this was heading, just as she knew it was pointless to argue. “Shouldn’t you be sitting? You’re not supposed to be up for long periods.”

  “Nonsense. I spend far too much time in that bed as it is. Now, don’t redirect the topic here.”

  She smiled then. “Sorry. I learned from the best.”

  That brought a grudging smile from him. “Yes, well, don’t you forget it. But also remember you can’t outfox a fox.”

  “Boy, don’t I know it,” she murmured beneath her breath.

  He narrowed his eyes, but went on determinedly. “I’m proud of you, Natalie. Of how hard you worked for your degree, for the bar. I could use you. The family always needs a sharp lawyer. In fact, I have some files I’d like you to read over. I could use your advice.”

  Natalie wisely said nothing. He would pull her in with the promise of a legal position, but she’d be shifted into management in the blink of an eye. He’d want her in a position of as much power and control as possible, as he did her brother and both sons-in-law. Her sisters wielded their power in the boardroom with their stock holdings, and in the ballroom. The latter, at times, being more a center of power than the former.

  She was the lone wolf, the one that had to be brought back to the fold and put in her proper position. Which was on a pedestal. A distinctly uncomfortable place, and one she’d sworn never to inhabit.

  “You need to rest, Dad. We’ll discuss this later.” She went to his bedstand. “And you didn’t take your two o’clocks.”

  For once, he let the discussion go. He was a fox and he well knew when to push and when to sit and wait. Well, he was in for one hell of a long wait.

  She handed him his pills and poured some water out of the carafe. “Here.”

  He took them without argument—likely to put her off her guard. Well, she had been born and raised a Holcomb. She knew the game almost as well as he did. She moved quickly toward the door before he could resume negotiations.

  She paused in the doorway. “I’ll be back in a couple hours, after you’ve rested.” For his four o’clock round of pills, she thought, but wisely didn’t say so out loud. “There is one other thing—”

  He’d taken a seat by the warmth of the immense fireplace and had picked up a sheaf of papers. He paused in the act of putting on his spectacles, and looked at her. Likely he was expecting her to admonish him for working, but she knew what battles to pick. It was enough that he was in his room, sitting and not badgering the house staff to bring his golf cart around for a little trek about the grounds. An activity she’d only barely managed to thwart this morning.

  “I will need to be out of town next weekend. Just overnight. I’ll be leaving early Friday and will be back here no later than Saturday afternoon.” She’d calculated the time frame to reduce the risk to him as much as possible. Plus, she’d already scheduled a family dinner for Friday, which guaranteed he’d go to bed early just to escape the endless nattering.

  “Where are you headed?”

  “New Orleans.” She crossed her fingers behind her back that he didn’t interrogate her further. She could stand up to her father with no problem, but she couldn’t lie to him.

  “Business?”

  “Of sorts.”

  He merely nodded and went back to his papers, probably as relieved as she that this little interaction was over.

  She closed the door and leaned back against it with a deep sigh. She’d realized soon after coming home that there was no way she could simply send a note to Jake explaining everything. She’d gotten in way over her head with him, had broken the rules they’d so carefully set. And now, with the situation with her father…well, there was simply no other choice but to end it with him. But this was something that had to be done in person. As much for herself, as for Jake.

  At least, that was her reasoning and she was sticking to it. So what if at night, when she finally fell into bed, exhausted from tangling with her father all day in addition to taking the constant checkup calls from her various siblings, she dreamed of seeing him in New Orleans for entirely different reasons than saying goodbye?

  Which was why she’d purposely set up her trip so that she’d have limited time with him. Her plan was to send a note and meet him Friday evening, end it, then cry herself to sleep, or maybe call Liza and pour her heart out, then get the hell out of there as early as possible on Saturday.

  She pushed away from the door and headed toward the kitchen. Right now, she had other things to worry about. She had to give the cook an alternative menu to the one she knew her father had ordered. Steak and potatoes with sour cream. The man was a walking death wish. And she’d thought working for Maxwell & Graham was exhausting. She should be thankful, though. Her mind constantly occupied with keeping her father out of trouble, she only thought of Jake every other minute instead of every single minute.

  She was going to New Orleans. She shouldn’t be looking forward to it—it was going to be painful in the extreme. But her heart didn’t want to hear that. Her heart was all a-flutter about the fact that she’d get to see him again.

  Even if it was for the last time.

  13

  JAKE COULDN’T REMEMBER ever being so nervous. He paced the foyer of the French Quarter guest house where he’d reserved a room. He’d wanted something different, and this beautifully restored house at the residential end of Bourbon Street was perfect. Quiet and yet very close to all the excitement the Quarter had to offer. He could sit on his balcony and smell the spicy foods and hear the music that seemed to spill from every corner, literally feeling the vibrancy that seemed to rise like steam from the street below. All he needed to make it perfect was for Natalie to come walking through that door.

  She’d never contacted him to say she wasn’t coming. Had he not called her office, he’d never have known things had changed for her. So he’d
left a note at the hotel where he would have been staying, telling her to meet him here as soon as she got into town. And now he waited. And hoped. And it was pure hell.

  If she didn’t show, he’d simply have to accept it was over and walk away. Yet deep down he didn’t think she was the kind of person to simply disappear without a word.

  Which left him with another dilemma. What if she did show up, but made no mention of what had caused her to leave her job? There was no reason to think she would, as it was part of their agreement not to talk about things like that. But could he pretend he didn’t know? No. If she didn’t say something, he would. That was the other decision he’d made. If she walked through that door, he was going to lay it all on the line and tell her he wanted more.

  Which was why his palms were sweating and he felt like he might lose his breakfast at any second.

  And then she was there, standing nervously just inside the huge plank door. “Hi.”

  He immediately noticed the difference in her. She wasn’t in her usual business attire. She wore black flats, pleated black slacks and a short-sleeved peach sweater. Polished but not “lawyerly.” Her hair was the same, but her eyes weren’t. They were…sad.

  He went to her immediately, but stopped just short of taking her into his arms, when she took a tiny but telling step back.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, trying not to let his own anxiety show.

  She looked beyond him, her gaze skirting the sitting room situated just behind him. “Is there someplace we can go?”

  “We can talk in here,” he said, nodding toward the sitting room. “Or I have a balcony off my room, if you’d prefer more privacy.”

  He could see that she actually had to think about it, which made his heart sink even further. Something was terribly wrong.

  “Your balcony would be fine,” she said finally. “I—we need to talk.”

  “I can see that.” His tone was sharper than he’d intended, but she seemed too distracted to really notice. He motioned to the wide staircase opposite the foyer. “All the way up, second door to the left.”