“And she knows about us and isn’t weird about it. I…I didn’t know if I’d find anyone who could laugh about it with me. Aunt Marcy, yeah, but she thinks any woman who is attracted to anything with a wiener is humorous. Now, if only the rest of the town and your mother would come around…”
He reached across the center seat and squeezed her knee. “How about we take this win and run with it? You have Duane coming around and now you have Rachel in town. That’s a hell of a week, huh?”
She smiled. “Yes, you’re right. One battle at a time. I’m not entirely sure I’m getting through to Duane. Some days… I’m not going to make this about me and be selfish, so I’ll just stay patient.”
“Duane is one of those guys where you don’t know exactly where he is until the water starts rising. Then you’ll know if he’s on your side or if he’s going to float off. I’m pretty sure he’s going to rise to the occasion. If he doesn’t, he’ll be making one of the biggest mistakes of his life.”
Chapter 20
The speedometer twittered a fraction over the speed limit, a place it never reached with Thomas at the wheel. Mary checked the clock and realized they’d cut their timing mighty close.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Just drop me off here and go to the courthouse.”
He scowled at her as he turned into the hospital’s parking lot. “No. I’ll make sure you get to the room. I should have planned better.”
Three weeks of commuting between the ranch and Fort Harrison left Thomas with plenty of time to find new job opportunities. The latest one culminating in a meeting he couldn’t wait to attend. Mary checked the car clock again, calculating the minutes he had until his second interview.
“Drop me off at the doors and get going.” She grabbed her purse. “I won’t forgive myself if you’re late. I know where Duane’s room is and I’m pretty sure there’s not a safer place in the state.”
Thomas still frowned, but pulled up to the doors instead of parking. “I don’t like doing this. If he’s having a bad day you’ll be stuck here.”
She leaned across the center console of the truck and kissed his smooth cheek, his spicy aftershave a treat for her nose. “I’ll be fine. Knock ’em dead at the interview. They’ll be lucky to have you.”
Mary jumped out of the car and hurried to the hospital, knowing Thomas would watch until she stepped inside. The clock on the wall said he had at least twenty minutes, but she would have liked him to have a little longer to drive and focus once he arrived. She shrugged off her worry. He could handle whatever came up and he’d do beautifully. If not, there would be other jobs.
She signed in at the front desk and hurried through the halls to the psych ward. Duane hated being in the ‘lockdown loony bin’ as he called the fifteen bed ward, but she was grateful the VA had treatment available, even if it remained in the experimental stage.
She waited at the locked door after pressing the buzzer. The nurses and doctors knew her by name. In a way, they’d become family in getting Duane healthy.
The door opened and a small woman in blue scrubs smiled. “Hi, Mary. I hope you brought a book.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry he’s being a pain, Mallory.”
The nurse laughed. “Oh, I’ll take his version of being a pain over some I see. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I do think he’s feeling better for the most part.”
“Good.”
“He was worried about you though. He got all nosey about why you were seeing a doctor. I didn’t tell him and that made him even crankier.”
A few days before she’d made an appointment with a clinic provider for birth control, Mallory checking her in and walking her out with the details. The quick checkup satisfied her peace of mind and resulted in a prescription to take the barriers out of sex. So far, the tiny pills didn’t seem to have an effect, but the doctor assured her they were already working.
“Thank you for the privacy,” Mary said. “I really appreciate your discretion.”
“No problem. Everyone has the right to not have their business spread about. When he’s thinking straight, he’ll understand and appreciate it.”
“That whole thinking straight thing is tough, but I see progress.”
“I completely agree. Sometimes after combat it takes a while for a soldier to decide to take the next step into civilian life, and some never are mentally able to—which is so sad. It’s a totally different life after you’ve served.”
“You were on active duty?”
She nodded. “Yes. I was a nurse in Vietnam for three months before I was pulled out because of an injury. After, I ended up here, which is wonderful. It was…otherworldly. Duane is a lucky one. I can see him snapping out of this.”
They walked together to Duane’s room. Mallory peeked in. “I foresee him snapping out of this, but not before a good many rounds of crankiness.”
Mary winked at the nurse before heading into the room. It hadn’t changed since the first day, except for a few more books and magazines, mostly medical related. Duane needed to update his medical license in the States after serving out his internship through the Air Force, but he could be practicing before the end of the year.
Instead of sitting in one of the lightly padded chairs as he often did, Duane lay in the bed, his forearm over his eyes. Mary knew very well he was aware of her presence, but she didn’t force the issue. Like the nurse recommended, she’d brought a book and was content to read until Duane wanted to talk. She sat in the chair beside his bed and began a new novel Aunt Marcy had sent her. Between chapters she looked up at Duane, but he didn’t move.
An hour passed without a single word between them. They’d spent far too many days like this, and because she saw the spark the nurse spoke of, she wanted to get the fire going. Mary set her book down and rested her chin on her fist, staring at him. The silence stretched on, shifting from comfortable to irritating. At first he’d ordered her away and made the room feel hostile. Now it was…quiet. She didn’t mind being quiet with him, but they needed to know each other better too.
“I went to the creamery the other day,” she said, content to have a one-sided conversation. “The woman there, Rachel, was really sweet. She’s the only person in town who has even looked at me since it came out that I’m a loose woman. She gave me her recipe for chocolate chip cookies. I might make some next week.”
Duane turned sharply, eyes narrowed. “You’re not loose. Who the hell said that?”
She snorted. “Come on, Duane, we’re in Montana, not some commune on the coast. I’m living with two men…two men I have riotous physical relationships with. I’m willing and excited to add a third. On the grand scale, I’m a floozy.”
He sat up, his gray sweats wrinkled as if he’d worn them through a night of tossing. “No, you’re not. You’re committed with Thomas and Paul. Fuck the ones who don’t understand.”
“Nope, if I did that then I’d go from floozy to slut,” she said. “I’ve decided to ignore them instead.”
He frowned at her, but eventually cracked a smile. She didn’t expect true joy from him, but seeing the humor showed the humanity he strived to get in touch with.
“Bad night?” she asked.
“Yeah.” He pushed up to his feet and ambled to the windows. “I’m going to be released soon. I have savings and my GI bill money…but I’m not sure what’s next.”
“Sure you are,” she said, giving him space. “You’re going to live with us in the cabin and help Paul on the ranch while you get your medical practice started. Oh, and I’m going to spoil you rotten. I hope you like brownies.”
He turned from the window without the smile she’d hoped to see. The last few weeks had taught her to find the flow with the men. They didn’t always use logic, but rarely led with pure emotion. She wondered which path Duane would take, but hoped it led to home, just as Thomas and Paul.
“Good, you’re out of bed,” Nurse Mallory said from the doorway. “You have another visitor. Helen Paraby. She s
ays she’s your aunt.”
Mary groaned. She hadn’t seen her mother-in-law since the blowup at the ranch. More time would have been ideal, but no amount of time apart would prepare Mary to deal with her. She looked at Duane, knowing full well her fear and dread showed in her expression. As much as she wanted to make nice, she couldn’t.
Duane nodded to the nurse, but a glint of fire in his eyes gave Mary pause. They’d been swimming in the shallow end so far, but the water was rising. She hoped he rose with her.
“Well, look at you, home again and in a mental institution,” Helen said without any other greeting. Her eyes met Mary’s and real scorn entered her expression. “Why am I not surprised to see you here?”
“Hi, Aunt Helen,” Duane said. “I’m surprised you made the drive.”
She sniffed, remaining near the door in her blue shirtwaist dress and white cardigan. “I’m meeting Thomas for lunch at a restaurant in town and thought I’d do my family duty.”
“Consider it done,” Duane said, his once bored tone now sharp.
“Watch your tone or I’ll have them tie you down like the lunatic you are.”
Mary stood, the same protectiveness she felt toward Thomas and Paul rearing its head as the older woman attacked Duane. “Leave if you’re going to cause trouble. He’s doing fine and doesn’t need any poison from you.”
“My boys were good boys until they met you,” Helen said. “They’ll be better off once you take your demon ways back to Colorado. What they see in a slut like you I’ll never understand.”
Mary’s blood ran hot, anger and hurt warring in her soul, but she didn’t have it in her to tell Helen her sons were the ones who pursued her, and the older woman wouldn’t believe her anyway.
“I hope you at least have the good sense to leave this one here.” Helen jerked her thumb toward Duane. “He’s damaged goods. You do know his father murdered a man, don’t you? Paul and Thomas have always said Duane’s fine, but this episode shows differently. He volunteered to go to Vietnam because he’s a killer. On second thought, why don’t you take Duane and leave my boys alone?”
“Why don’t you do us all a favor and jump off a fucking cliff?” Duane asked. “You’re lucky to have Mary. Paul and Thomas didn’t know what the hell they were doing when they decided they wanted to share a woman. The first few they tried were pros—you know, prostitutes? One even had a pregnancy scare. Could you imagine being grandma to a hooker’s baby? And fuck, the VD. The antibiotics those boys were on could have choked a donkey.”
Mary’s throat tightened as Duane continued, her mind on overload with details about the past. His father killed someone? The twins really did those things? She’d never heard what he mentioned. She couldn’t believe parts, but her palms sweated at the possibility of any of it being fact.
“Then I told the boys to wise up,” Duane said. “No way am I sticking my dick in a prostitute. That’s the permanent path to crazy—a nice batch of VD.”
Helen gasped. “You are disgusting.”
“You are a bitch,” Duane said. “What Paul, Thomas, and I do is none of your damn business. If you want to be part of my world, you’re going to learn to get along with Mary. You’re going to learn to be cordial and respectful. Anything less will guarantee me kicking your ass out of my house.”
“I’ll never step a foot in your house,” she hissed.
“And if I share a roof with Thomas and Paul?” he challenged. “The rule stands. When we share a home, you will enter with respect or you’ll stay out.”
Helen looked from Mary to Duane and back, hatred in her gaze. “You can’t keep me from my sons.”
“They can visit you at your house if they want,” Duane said. “But think about how much they can really take of you insulting the woman they love. The visits have already gotten further apart, haven’t they, Helen? This is the first lunch with either of the twins in weeks. Why? It’s not Mary’s fault, no matter how much you want to blame her. The boys are sick of your shit. All you do, all you’ve ever done, is bitch. They know what a nice woman is like now and would rather have sugar over shit.”
“You are so vulgar,” Helen said. “She’s the one changing things, and once she’s gone the twins will return to being my sons again. If you insist on living this, this—sin—then by all means, do it. I’ll be there for my boys when they wise up.” She spun on her heels.
“And if they don’t?” Duane called. “Because your boys aren’t stupid. For all their faults, they know their minds. We all love her. You know when we work together we win. Are you really willing to never see your sons? Your grandkids?”
Helen froze before she could step out of the doorway, and she turned very slowly to face them. Mary wasn’t sure what her next move would be. Kids changed things. Though Mary couldn’t say she felt ready for them yet, one day she would be and the little one would share three fathers.
“You wouldn’t,” Helen said. “You—I knew I should have never welcomed you into my home. You infected my boys with your degenerate disease.”
“Nope,” Duane said. “They’re the ones who brought all this to me. They’ve never led me astray, and I won’t let you hurt them or our woman.”
“Woman,” she spat. “Harlot, whore is more like it.”
Duane stormed across the room, grabbed Helen by the shoulders, and turned her around. Mary jumped, ready to step in.
“You’re lucky you’re a woman,” Duane muttered as he steered Helen out the door. “Otherwise I’d kick your ass. Don’t come back. If you think Paul and Thomas won’t hear about this—”
“Don’t you dare,” Helen shouted. “You’re a dirty liar.”
“Hey, Sergeant? I have an intruder,” he called down the hall.
Sometimes the room seemed so much like any hospital that Mary forgot all the personnel were military. Mary didn’t know what she’d expected but having her mother-in-law leave by military escort hadn’t crossed her mind.
The fact Duane stepped up gave her hope but presented a new batch of problems. The animosity between nephew and aunt raged much deeper than she’d anticipated. For all she knew, Duane had lied about his feelings just to stick it to the other woman.
Duane closed the door and turned to her. “There were a few lies in there and we’re going to talk about them now.”
She forced a smile, sick to her stomach from the interlude. Duane voiced all the ultimatums and threats she’d thought of but had been afraid to actually say. Helen was the twins’ mother, a special relationship she’d been hesitant to tread on. Duane had no such qualms.
“The boys did go to a prostitute, but only to talk,” Duane said. “They wanted to know how things physically worked. She did happen to be pregnant, but not by one of them.”
Mary nodded, relieved, but that particular lie wasn’t the most potent. Duane strode across the room and motioned for her to sit while he paced. She sat and folded her hands tightly together.
“What the hell else did I say? These pills make me forget sometimes.”
“Something about VD?”
“Yeah, none of that. They know to use condoms. Hell, what else?”
“She mentioned something about your father.”
Duane’s expression darkened, the lines around his eyes deepening further. “Yes, my father killed someone when I was in middle school. As I understand it, there was a bar fight and the other man didn’t survive. Dad was charged, found guilty, and he died in prison a few years ago.”
“I’m so sorry, Duane.”
He waved his hands. “That really doesn’t affect the situation now. Helen just likes to throw it in my face. Was there anything else?”
“Um, you forbade her from coming to the house you were going to share with us because you love me and won’t let her be mean,” Mary said in a rush.
He nodded. “All true. I don’t harm ladies, but I’ll call the cops on the old bat. She’d be embarrassed as hell.”
“Why did you say all of that, Duane?”
“Because I knew it would make her squirm.” He smirked. “She’s always enjoyed badmouthing people and saying they were full of germs.”
“Not that.” She pushed to her feet. “I don’t care about the things you said to piss her off. I’ll probably laugh about them one day. I do care about what you said about me.”
He cocked his head. “About you? Anything I said shouldn’t be a surprise there. What’s tripping you up?”
She stalked away from him, overwhelmed and a moment away from getting frustrated. After all the ups and downs, the late nights, the orders for her to go away, he’d pulled something entirely new from his hat.
“Since when do you love me?”
* * * *
Duane didn’t know how to express what was in his heart. When something popped up, or wiggled in, he didn’t overthink it, just let it be. The therapist had told him he needed to work on expressing himself to be a better partner and doctor. No one had mattered enough in the past for him to want to say the right words to make life better. His aunt barely tolerated him, and his cousins…they were guys. They knew what they meant to him.
Even before Vietnam he’d let things go, after…maybe cutting himself nearly to death had been a blessing in disguise. In the last weeks he’d been forced to face emotions, talk, and think—the woman in front of him would have the spoils of what remained of his soul if she wanted it.
Mary became a fantasy in the last six months—an apparition to make life bearable, though all the while he’d kept even her ghost at arm’s length. No other woman would be as invested as Mary—not just because of him, but because of the twins. When he sucked at life, she’d still stay because Paul and Thomas would provide what he couldn’t. His blood ran cold thinking of the times when roles might be reversed and it would fall on him to give Mary a reason to stay. He walked to her side, not touching her, but leaning out the same windowsill.
“I’m cracked, but I’m working on it,” Duane said. “And I’m doing it because I want to be better…for you. Yeah, there’s other stuff too, but I want to be healthy so I can join up with you, Paul, and Thomas—mostly you. My cousins can bite me.”
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