by Tara Pammi
Mia had never felt so helpless. The more she tried to talk to Nik, the more he kept her at a distance. Distance between them seemed to grow even as they sat on either side of the table every night. All he’d tell her was that Drakon needed him right now.
What about me, she wanted to say but held back the selfish words.
But he was shutting her out, and she had no way to reach him.
The only time she felt close to him, the only time she felt that he was there with her was when he made love to her.
For weeks following King Theos’s death, Drakon went into mourning.
But the pall the King’s death cast over his sons wouldn’t let up.
From everything she’d heard of the hateful old man, it seemed like he was determined to ruin his son’s lives even from beyond death.
The day of the funeral came and went.
The flowers in her garden were in full bloom, a riot of color and yet as one week merged into the next, Mia saw less and less of Nikandros.
He grew moody and distant. Whenever Mia tried to talk about King Theos or Andreas, he told her to leave it alone.
Andreas hadn’t been seen again after the funeral. No one knew where he was, not even Eleni. And then she’d heard of Nik’s overseas trip.
Unable to take any more tension, she went looking for Nik and found him in his office, standing at the window behind a huge mahogany desk.
“Nikandros?” she whispered, trying to quiet the alarm in her gut.
He turned. He looked tired, his smile worn. “You must have heard I’m leaving in a couple of hours.”
“I would’ve liked to have heard it from you.”
He raised a brow.
“That never intimidated me, and it doesn’t awe me anymore,” she snapped.
“I’ll be gone for at least a month, if not more.”
“That long?”
He didn’t look the least bit worried about it. “Andreas had an upcoming tour to the Middle East that I would like to not miss. With him gone, there’s a lot to do.”
“Is he okay? Have you heard from him?”
“No, but I’m sure he’s fine, Mia.” Even as he dismissed her concern, she could see the worry in his eyes. Whatever the shadows of the past, Nik would never stop caring about his family. But did he care about her too?
Or had she already been relegated to the challenges he’d conquered?
“I know you’ve really been wanting to see your mother. You should go see her, take a break from the morbid atmosphere here in the palace.” A sort of strained laugh fell from his mouth. Devoid of that energy of his, devoid of the pure joy he had found in life.
It was the most nauseating sound she’d ever heard in her life. Like he was only acting and playing his role, as if the spark was gone and a shell was left.
“You’re asking me to go away? When you need me the most?”
“I do not need you, Mia. I do not need anything except peace to process everything that’s been happening.”
“And I’m somehow thwarting you from that?” she taunted, tears like needles in her throat.
“Last time, you needed time. This time it’s me. With Andreas gone, everything’s changed. My priorities are all Drakon now, and I just...
“I’ll have no time for you. You should spend the time with your mom and sister. Maybe have the baby there.
“I’ll come see you when I can.”
He was lying. Nikandros, who had always given voice to the truth, even when it was hard, even when it was wrong, was lying.
“You’re lying. You won’t come to see me. You’re sending me away and I don’t even know what I did wrong.” Her misery morphed into fury. “What did I do wrong, Nik?”
“Christos, Mia! There’s no need to get so emotional about such a small matter. And this...this constant worry I see in your eyes, I don’t need it.
“Drakon is enough of a stress point, and truly, it’s not even the right time for us to marry.”
It was the last thing Mia thought to hear from his mouth. She’d expected him to grieve for his father. She’d expected him to shut her out. She’d told herself to be patient, that he would find his way back to her again.
But this... She didn’t know what to think anymore.
Had it become too much for him already? Was he bristling at the shackles their relationship put on him?
“You don’t want to marry me anymore?” Unbidden tears rose and she locked them away. “Whatever happened to honesty, Nik?”
Taut lines spread from his mouth as he reached her. “You’re right. Everything has changed. I have changed from the man who demanded that we marry for the sake of a child.
“Marriage for me now is not an emotional, impulsive move but a political one. It cannot be about one child and one woman.
“For now, I can’t marry.
“And without both of us being a hundred percent sure of it, marriage will only be a battleground for resentment. Neither of us wants that.”
Mia didn’t reply. She didn’t think she could if she even tried.
Knees shaking, she closed the door behind him and walked away.
If her heart was breaking, she didn’t even know. For she was chilled through and through like never before.
* * *
“Why did you send her away?”
Nikandros turned around in the balcony.
His sister was glaring at him.
It had been two weeks since Mia had left. He hoped she’d seen her mother and sister, hoped she was in the bosom of her family. He hoped they understood how much Mia loved them, how it had hurt her all these years to cut herself away from them.
“Because I’m a coward. And because I love her.”
Eleni snorted, even though concern filled her eyes. “I didn’t think you were the martyr type, Nik.”
“No. I’ve finally learned self-preservation, sister of mine. I’ve learned the price of living recklessly, without control. I’ve learned that my heart can’t bear any more scars.
“And with the mad King gone and our dear brother disappearing to God knows where, I have to protect myself, ne? At least, until Andreas returns.”
Eleni stared at him, shock painting the tired angles of her face. “I never thought you would be like the rest of your stupid, imbecilic sex, brother of mine.”
“Hey!” Nikandros swatted her halfheartedly. It was impossible to keep up the cheerful, everything-is-fine facade with his sister. God, he was bone-tired and he had miles to go before the week was over.
The endless, cheerless, thankless tasks that his brother had kept up with all these years without a complaint edged in sidewise, Nikandros was in awe of him. And this was without Theos criticizing or second-guessing or dissecting every decision.
He had resented Andreas for his closeness with their father for so long—this had to be fate’s punishment for him.
Eleni joined him at the railing. For so long, she’d been his brother’s rock. And now she was his. “What do you mean?”
“How does loving Mia make you weak, Nik? You thrive on emotion. You live your life by sheer instinct. You said there was nothing more freeing and more challenging than taking whatever life threw at you.”
“Yes, but it also makes me want everything, Eleni. I love her more than life itself and I can’t live with anything less.
“I hope our brother returns before I’m forever shackled to this palace though. The idea of Drakon without Andreas is ridiculous.”
“But you’re here.”
“I’m not him.”
“No, you’re not. You’re you. You’re the heart among the three of us, Nik. Father was truly mad for not seeing what he had. Andreas is Drakon’s pride, but you...you’re its heart, Nikandros. The spirit of those first warriors, it’s in you.
“You’re passion, you’re laughter. You’re life itself.”
“And what are you, Ellie?”
“Adhesive.”
Nikandros burst out laughing. He rubbed his eye
s. Worry for Andreas was gnawing at his gut. “He needs us to hold the fort for him. I believe he will return. Tell the press that he’s gone on an expedition to the North Pole.”
“What?”
“That’s what he said he wanted to do.”
“You think he went there?”
“No. But wherever he went, he will return soon.”
Eleni stayed silent, leaning into him. Nikandros draped his arm around her, wondering how a person could leave a hole in one’s life.
“Ask her to come back, Nik. Persuade her that you’ve come to your senses again. Tell her it’s the right thing for the child.”
“No. It’s her choice now, Ellie. I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering if she’ll love me. Wondering if she stayed with me because it was the safe choice, the sane choice.”
“Sane, Nik? No woman who’s sane will choose the roller coaster that your life is. She loves you, Nikandros, Can’t you see that?”
“If she does, she will return. And if not, I’ll have to let her go.”
Eleni sighed. “Gabriel Marquez is your dining guest tonight.”
A groan fell out of Nik’s mouth. Christos, he was tired like he’d never been before. For more than a fortnight, he’d been running around.
And with Mia gone, the suite was like a crypt. After the first night, he’d even given up trying to sleep.
Now he was the one who swam at midnight, tiring himself out so that sleep came like oblivion.
The last thing he wanted was to deal with Gabriel.
“I can keep him company tonight, if you’d like. Stall him with some excuse. I can have my pick of them with Father’s death and Andreas’s disappearance. He’ll understand, Nik.”
“I can’t fob him off on you, any more than I can let you work around the clock as you’ve been doing, Ellie. What about the holiday you planned to go on? What about the plans for your own life?” Their sister had always been just there. With a kind word and smile for him, with no-nonsense advice for Andreas, neatly arranging everything in their life without receiving even a thank-you in return.
Was there anyone Andreas and he had done right by? Was this the legacy Theos had left them? Was this why Andreas had needed to escape?
The questions and the ache they left in him were relentless.
His sister shied away from him and shrugged. “Really, Nik, one night of playing hostess to Mr. Marquez is not going to kill me.
“And I’m not leaving everything on your shoulders. With Andreas gone, you’re going to be drowning as it is.
“As to my future, Drakon is it.”
Something in her tone snagged at Nik, but he couldn’t for the life of him pinpoint it.
He fell back into the bed again, and instantly, the scent of roses filled his head. The knot in his gut clenched tight, a pulse of pain twisting deep inside him.
Thee mou, he missed her so much.
He missed her anxiety for him. He missed the warm cocoon her body had offered after a tired night. He missed the color passion painted her dusky skin.
It was as if there was a gaping hole in his gut.
But if he’d let her stay, he’d have resented her, and his love for her.
And he couldn’t bear the poison that would have spewed in both their lives.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ARRANGING TO ARRIVE at the King’s Palace, with her mother and Emmanuela in tow, without Nikandros knowing about it turned out be a logistical nightmare that wouldn’t have been possible without Eleni’s help.
But after so many years, Mia didn’t want to leave her mother behind. Without Mia saying it out loud, her mother had understood how terrified Mia was.
For all she knew, she’d made a wasted trip across the Atlantic only to face more rejection. But Mia couldn’t give up without a fight.
Nikandros needed her, whether he admitted it or not. She’d seen how grief for his father had ravaged him; she’d seen how Andreas’s leaving had torn him apart. Instead of taking him in hand, she’d let him push her away. Believed in his false words when from the beginning, he had shown her with his actions what she meant to him.
If what it took was to wear him down, then she would.
When she’d asked after Andreas because she wanted to borrow a bit of his dry unflappability, Eleni had told her he still wasn’t back.
It was more than a month and Nikandros, she said, was sinking under the new investment ventures with Gabriel and the regular duties he was carrying on behalf of the palace.
Which made Mia’s throat clench and she became even more determined that he needed her by his side. Now it was her turn.
She didn’t know big, flowery words, but she wanted to surprise him, show him how much he meant to her. And if she had to spend the rest of her life proving that she adored him, she would.
She’d demanded, not requested, shamelessly that Eleni find her the best hair stylist and makeup artist she could command in one afternoon. And a ball gown that no other woman would wear tonight. And jewelry fit for the woman that would stand on the arm of the Daredevil Prince.
Shock plastered over her gamine features, Eleni said drily, “Do you want a diamond-studded tiara too?”
“If it could be managed, yes,” Mia had replied without a beat. “And, Eleni, can you stay with me too?”
Eleni had thrown her head back and let out a loud whoop, and said thank God, Mia was finally growing into the role of being Princess of Drakon.
And in a mere couple of hours, everything had been arranged.
Mia and Eleni had spent the afternoon sipping Daiquiris—virgin for Mia—and being shown a parade of ball gowns ranging from frothy to severe, from silk so soft to necklines so low that she’d bare her navel.
And then had come the jewelry. Based on her dress, Mia had chosen chandelier earrings made of real diamonds but refused the tiara.
The only jewelry she wanted was from Nikandros.
Excitement a tight knot in her gut, she let herself be pampered. Between the mud pack and the massage, she’d even napped, something her body was insisting on these days.
Blow-dried into soft waves around her face, her hair gleamed like rough silk. With Eleni’s help—Mia had to draw the line at the assistants seeing her in her underwear—she got into the peach-colored ball gown they’d chosen. Her belly was visible now but the dress had voluptuous skirts that hid it quite well.
She didn’t care who saw her or what they thought, but she wanted to keep an element of surprise with Nik.
An intricately ruffled bodice and a strapless push-up bra made her meager chest swell up against the heart-shaped neckline. It fell in soft folds to her ankles. Chandelier earrings at her ears picked out the hints of white in the dress, and silver strapped sandals finished her ensemble.
Staring at herself in the full-length mirror, Mia told herself to be brave.
If Nikandros had wanted a princess, it would have been easier. If he’d wanted a glamorous, accomplished wife like Brian did, even that would have been easier.
But he wanted just Mia—and everything that meant.
The Mia she’d been on the soccer field, because no one could hurt her there, the Mia she’d been before her father had fallen into his addiction, the Mia that she was discovering she could be if it meant the Daredevil Prince would be hers.
And only hers.
* * *
The party was in full swing in the ballroom by the time Nikandros arrived. He had no news from Andreas still. He’d had a meeting with the Crown Council and some other cabinet members. Assured them that everything was stable.
Even they could see the large-scale investments that Gabriel and he were planning. He hadn’t shared the final plans but that was another front he’d handled for the near future.
If not for the ache in his heart, he would have celebrated.
Every morning, when he woke up, he thought Mia’s absence would hurt less. That day, he wouldn’t think of her every hour.
And every day, he wen
t to bed feeling as if his heart was slowly dying.
Champagne glass in hand, he circulated among the small crowd in the ballroom. The party had been to welcome Gabriel into the fold, introduce him to some of the top businessmen in Drakon. But he’d asked Eleni to include the palace staff too.
They’d been working tirelessly with him, and Nikandros was learning he would be nothing without good staff. He strolled into one of the numerous balconies when a staffer, Louisa from Records, had approached him and pressed a note to his hand with a stiff greeting.
Frowning, he looked at the note in his hand. By the time, he opened it, she’d disappeared.
I’m twenty-one weeks old. My mama used to be a championship soccer player. If you want to know more, go to the gardens he gave her.
The note was written in a scrawly handwriting he didn’t recognize. Hope punched into his throat, almost knocking him out at his knees. He finished his Champagne, handed the glass off and hurried to the gardens.
The gardens were redolent with thick fragrance.
But even in the dark night, he saw the envelope fluttering in the small window in the gazebo. Heart thundering in his ears, he flattened it with shaking hands.
My dad used to be the Daredevil Prince. But Mama says he’s just a prince now and she likes him better this way. The greenhouse he built for her might have the next clue.
He hesitated only a few seconds before he made his way to the greenhouse. Another note fluttered near one of the rare orchids that Mia had lovingly coaxed into life before she had left.
His throat clenched when he saw the next note.
Mama’s sad that my dad sent her away. But she says she’ll not give up on her Prince. But he has to find her. Go to the place where tales of Drakon have lived for centuries.
He went to the library.
Found another note.
Mama says the Prince and she have a good start on their soccer team. Check the theater for the next note.
He went to the small theater where they’d watched soccer games with buckets of popcorn while yelling comments at the screen. He laughed so hard when he got there. The minx had sent him on a chase all over the palace, sending him to all the places where they’d spent time together.