I dutifully hobbled back out to the kitchen and pulled out the pile of exams. I leafed through to Mitchell Hartleys first set of question. This section of the exam was constituted to replicate that most pastorally challenging part of Sunday morning, the coffee hour. Many parishioners saw the priests presence at coffee hour as an opportunity to get free advice. Think Ann Landers meets Dial-a-theologian. This years written questions reflected the kind of bizarre interrogatories that were common. At our last meeting, Father Olson had told the board that a long paragraph was acceptable as an answer to a coffee-hour question. We examiners were always to remember that the candidate was supposed to be pastoral first and theologically correct second. The Episcopal church didnt want to make anyone feel unwelcome, no matter what. At least, that was their official line.
The first question went, My neighbor asked me if Id been born again. I said once was enough, thank you. She said I needed it, and I said I didnt. Whos right?
Mitchell Hartley had written: Your neighbor is right! You have to be born again, even Jesus says so. You need to get with the program.
uh-oh, I groaned. On the living room couch, Marla stirred in her sleep. Not exactly pastoral, I wrote in pencil, and what happened to the long paragraph?
The second question was, Our teenager babysat for some neighbor kids whose bedtime prayer began, Our Mother and Father in Heaven … I though God was a man! What do you think, Father?
Mitchell Hartleys tall, loopy handwriting replied: God is a man! Dont let your teenager babysit there again.
Candidate Hartley was beginning to tick me off. Again.
The third question. I dont understand, Father. Is AIDS Gods judgment against homosexuals?
Mitchell Hartleys reply was unequivocal. Yes! hed written.
I wrote, This guy flunks the coffee-hour section of the exam.
So much for Mitchell Hartley. My only question was why the diocese had allowed him to stay in the ordination process for all these years. Maybe he was somebodys relative.
I carefully took the cheesecake out of the oven to cool, stowed the exams, and slapped open the files I had taken from Father Olsons office. Readjusting my heating pad, I scanned them again, page by page. I paid particular attention to the Board of Theological Examiners file, which contained the correspondence between Father Olson and the bishop. The only paper of significant interest was the correspondence regarding Mitchell Hartleys flunking last year. This coming year, the one we were in now, would be Hartleys last chance at passing his written and oral ordination exams. In his part-time job with Congregational Resources, Hartley was at the diocesan center every day. And part of each weekday, the bishop testily reported to Ted Olson, Hartley was trying to find out from anyone in power if there was some way around taking these exams from Hartleys words those liberals. After this letter was one from Aspen Meadow Outreach thanking Father Olson, Bob Preston, and the rest of the Sportsmen Against Hunger for their donation of 600 elkburgers to Outreachs commercial freezer. Finally, there was a letter from the bishops office approving the parishs support of Aspen Meadow Habitat for Humanity; the diocese said if St. Lukes wanted to give $10,000, and could afford it, that was fine.
The mention of the Sportsmen and Habitat made me think back to the Prestons. Too bad I hadnt had a chance to visit with Bob or Agatha before or after the prayer meeting. They probably would have the best of going and searching for anything, when Id already had unsuccessful forays into the church office, Brio Barn, and Olsons place, did not fill me with excitement.
Do they have other places to hide things? Schulzs voice insisted inside my brain.
I tried to think back. I was so tired. I put my head in my crossed arms on the kitchen table. Nowhere to hide. Hmm. I sat up with another jolt. Habitat.
Where do you think youre going? said Marla groggily when she opened one eye and saw me putting on my heavy jacket.
The Habitat house. Right down the street. Want to come?
She groaned as she creaked her way up off the sofa. You know I have to come. The cops have told me I absolutely cannot leave you alone. Just tell me, she mumbled as she searched for her shoes, why are you torturing me?
Because of Tom Schulz. I miss him and I need some help. I handed her one of the large garden shovels from the rear of the closet.
Oh, said Marla, what are we doing, digging up graves?
I dont really know what were doing.
This is getting better and better.
We zipped up our coats against the cold and walked the block and a half to the Habitat house. Marla insisted on carrying both shovels; this bit of consideration didnt keep her from grumbling every step of the way. At the deserted site, we stepped gingerly through frozen mud and over large empty rectangles through which an icy breeze blew. Sheets of all-purpose white vinyl floor had been partially installed over the wooden subfloor. It was this white vinyl that got my attention. I looked down across what would eventually be the kitchen, and saw what appeared to be a large spider. When I came closer and bent over, I picked up the missing keys to Hymnal House and the diocesan vehicle, EPSCMP.
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They were even labeled, Hymnal House, Brio Barn, Nissan. I didnt know what finding them here meant, but I knew it meant something Marla and I scoured the rest of the construction site, but came up with nothing else: no sign of pearls, or letters, or sacramental vessels. No sign of Tom Schulz.
We walked back to my house as quickly as my throbbing back would allow. I held the keys tightly in the pocket of my jacket the whole way. Habitat. Bob Preston. The Bob-projects. I couldnt wait to tell Boyd, who still was due to report back to my about Mitchell Hartley. I called and left a breathless message with the Investigations secretary. Within minutes, Boyd called me back.
We called Hartley and asked to meet him at his apartment. He wasnt too pleased to have to meet with us. Anyway, his place is so small hed have to be a magician to have somebody hidden there. Boyds voice was barely audible above the static; I couldnt imagine where he was calling from. The guy doesnt have much, thats for sure. And he sure doesnt have Schulz.
I told him about the missing keys Marla and I had found at the Habitat house.
They were just lying there on the floor, said Boyd suspiciously. Not hidden in any way? You just found them. The way you found those letters. Which, by the way, dont tell us squat, except that Agatha Preston has a couple thousand stashed away in a checking account in Denver. So. The keys were on the floor?
Yes, they were on the floor. No, they werent hidden. And yes, we found them. What do you think?
My doorbell rang: Alicia had arrived with the bass and vegetables. In the front hall, Marla welcomed her and asked if she wanted some Amaretto. They laughed boisterously and then immediately suppressed it. This incongruous humor, plus Boyds suspicions, plus the fact that it was now almost 4:00 on Monday, with still no sign of Tom, sent a wave of frustration surging in my voice. Arent you going to come and get these keys? I demanded. Arent you going to arrest Bob Preston?
For what? Boyd demanded.
I took the phone from my ear and stared at it.
Five inches away, Boyds voice droned: Should I arrest him for working on some volunteer project where you found some missing keys? A volunteer project that everyone who knows him knows hes working on? So if a suspect left the keys sitting out in full view, it sure would look like neurotically neat Bob Preston had just dropped them there? The static distorting his words did not hide his sarcasm.
I guess not, I mumbled.
Boyd said hed be by tonight to pick up the keys. I told him Id probably be finished at Hymnal House around ten.
Then have Marla or your other cooking helper, Julian, pick you up. I dont want you to go around snooping after dark.
Who, me?
Boyd hung up.
Alicia left. Marla, with sighs that would have embarrassed a martyr, rinsed and divided the bass. We were in the middle of washing the new potatoes, baby carrots, and thin, delicate asparagus stalks when Julian and Arch arrived home. Their faces searched mine: Any news? When I shook my head, Julian placed a foil-covered glass casserole dish on the counter.
A cow died so that you could have hamburger-noodle casserole tonight, courtesy of the Altar Guild. Hows your back?
Dont start with the vegetarian agenda, I have enough problems. My backs doing a lot better. The examining board is starting their work early, and were doing Chilean Sea Bass with Garlic, Basil, and Vegetables. Feel like chopping basil? I did not ask him about the college acceptance situation; as with Schulzs disappearance, being asked for the latest news when there was none only served to remind you of what was missing. He would have told me if hed heard anything.
Ill butter the gratin dishes, Arch piped up as he scrubbed his hands. I already scooped out cookies this morning. Did you bring them to the lunch?
I told him that I had, and his work had been a hit. He beamed and measured out chilled unsalted butter. Julian washed his hands and expertly rolled layered leaves of basil, then sliced through them. Marla parboiled the new potatoes and baby carrots. I pressed pungent cloves of garlic, mixed them with the chopped basil leaves, and beat them into the butter. We formed an assembly line and artfully laid out the fish, vegetables, butter, and herbs on the buttered platters, then covered each tightly with aluminum foil. Our only interruption was a phone call from Lucille Boatwright. She wanted to know if I had donated the food from the wedding reception to Aspen Meadow Outreach yet.
Chilean Sea Bass With Garlic, Basil and Vegetables
4 tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature
4 teaspoons finely chopped fresh basil
2 garlic cloves, pressed
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
4 red-skinned new potatoes
8 baby carrots
1 ˝ pounds fresh (not frozen boneless Chilean sea bass fillets
8 slender asparagus spears
Preheat the oven to 425 . In a small bowl, beat the butter, basil, garlic, and lemon juice until well combined. Set aside. Parboil the potatoes and baby carrots for 5 minutes; drain. Divide the fillets into 4 equal portions.
Place the fillets in a buttered 9-by 13-inch pan (or an attractive gratin dish with the same volume). Arrange the vegetables over the fish in an appealing pattern. Top each fish portion with one-fourth of the butter-garlic mixture. Cover tightly with aluminum foil. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes or until the fish flakes easily with a fork. Serve immediately.
Makes 4 servings
Yet? I repeated.
If you have not, she continued airily, I wish you would consider sending it in for the funeral tomorrow, Goldy. Were going to have quite a few people in from out of town. Im told. I cant get enough volunteers to make food, and I certainly cant let people go home hungry.
It was the least I could do for Father Olson, no matter what I thought of Lucille. I cupped my hand over the phone and asked Julian if he would mind schlepping the reception platters down to the church for the funeral. He nodded without looking at me. Julian seemed to be thinking that not keeping all that food was another way of tacitly admitting that our hopes for Tom Schulz were dimming. I put this thought out of my mind and assured Lucille my assistant would meet her at the church in an hour.
After hanging up, I asked Marla to pour a red wine vinaigrette over thick layered slices of navel orange and purple onion. Arch washed and packed heads of butter lettuce. Julian had taken a bag of Parkerhouse rolls from the freezer. We were ready.
With a Herculean attempt to appear happy and hopeful, I said, What would I do without my team?
Go out for pizza, muttered Julian darkly.
Julian insisted on driving the van with all the boxes for the nights meal over to the conference center. Marla chauffeured me and my pile of exams in her Jaguar, with Arch in the back. She had told the boys she would take them out for pizza if they would explain the younger generations fascination with video games to her. I tucked a spiral notebook into my apron pocket and realized I did not have a single question prepared to ask the candidates.
Ill be by to pick you up at Hymnal House at ten oclock, Marla pronounced ominously once wed arrived at the conference driveway. Julian was unloading and Arch was setting three tables for five in the old conference dining room. Dont you dare go anywhere without me, Goldy, do you hear?
I leaned against the Jaguar. Since when do you tell me what to do? I asked mildly.
Since I helped you make lunch for the prayer group, and dinner for this pompous board, thats when.
Ah-ha. Then I added, I promise.
On the deck of Hymnal House, the three candidates for ordination including Mitchell Hartley, and a dozen priests including Canon Montgomery, Doug Ramsey, and other men IA knew from previous meetings, were sipping white wine and trying to look as if they all werent terribly nervous. They hadnt asked for hors doeuvre, and they werent getting any. But since the last thing I needed was for them to have a layer of alcohol on empty stomachs, I quickly preheated the ancient Hymnal House oven and popped the fish platters and rolls inside, then arranged the orange and onion on top of individual beds of butter lettuce.
Thirty minutes later, the platters emerged. The delicious aroma of basil and garlic that filled the air and the visual delight provided by the squares of fish, brilliant green asparagus, orange carrots, and pink new potatoes swimming in melted butter, gave the whole dinner a Christmasy sort of air, which is one of the things a caterer has to think of. When people dont know each other before a catered function, or have some particularly onerous interpersonal task to perform after the meal, its usually a good idea to give them something to do at dinner, like opening a present of food. It helps to break the ice.
The conversation at dinner how the new bishop in another diocese was faring, how some recent mass conversions to Anglicanism in Africa were going to affect the church worldwide was light but somewhat forced. Canon Montgomery had said some volunteers from the Altar Guild were doing the dishes, and I was relieved when we could adjourn to the Hymnal House living room for Evening Prayer. This was followed by a brief, nonpoetic explanation of the meetings mechanics fro Montgomery: The end of our meeting tonight would be signaled by the old bell on the deck. We would go to the funeral tomorrow, then meet all the rest of Tuesday. The board would make its decisions Wednesday morning. The nervous candidates gulped and strained to look confident.
Doug Ramsey and I were assigned to an old upstairs parlor. The room had been the subject of unfortunate redecorations, and now boasted a bright green shag rug and two donated yellow-painted wood-frame couches with screaming pink cushions. It wasnt the best ambience to effect a reconciliation with Father Doug, to whom I hadnt spoken since our disastrous tęte-ŕ-tęte at church on Sunday. He marched into the room in front of me, snapped open the latches on his briefcase, and took out a sheaf of papers with typewritten questions. To make things worse, he was acting inexplicably miffed.
Hey, Doug, I said, dont give me the ticked-off routine, okay? I did the dinner, didnt I? Now lets talk about how were going to examine this guy.
you didnt contact those newspapers, did you? Tell them I was the bishops spy?
Of course not.
Some woman reporter interrogated Montgomery. She wanted to know if he was jealous of Olson because Olson was an alleged miracle worker.
Good old Frances. And did Montgomery agree with the allegations?
At that moment, Mitchell Hartley entered the room. He coughed.
Doug Ramsey ignored him. He continued to me in a confidential tone, There are many reasons why anyone would be jealous of the person in question, and not just for the monetary and … other reasons I m
entioned to you on Sunday. He was attractive, he was smart. Why, I think he came through the ordination process in the quickest time on record, although Id have to check that statistic
Theodore Olson? Mitchell Hartleys face contorted into an ugly smirk. Four inches of waved red hair hovered over his forehead. Yes, your statistic is correct. He came through in three years. His eyes glittered feverishly.
Please sit down, Mitchell, I said.
He obeyed, keeping his mad gaze disconcertingly on me.
Father Doug began by asking questions about the Archbishops of Canterbury, then moved on to what Tillich had said about this, what Augustine had said about that, and what were the liturgical requirements for the laying on of hands. Mitchell stumbled and bumbled and most of the time said he didnt know. Doug was just getting revved up to do the Anglican Reformation when there was a rap on the door. It was Lucille Boatwright.
Zelda and I finished the dishes, she said, glaring at me. How dare you come up here to examine with the men when there is womens work to be done in the kitchen? I said nothing; I was weary of Lucille Boatwright. She turned to Doug Ramsey. We simply must talk to you about the liturgy for the memorial service tomorrow. It was not a request.
Doug lifted his chin: Duty called. He stood, tucked his sheaf of papers into his briefcase, snapped it shut, and marched out without another word. Guess it was up to me to finish with the candidate.
Mitchell, I said as I reached to a dusty table and found a stub of pencil and piece of paper. I found a photocopied page form one of your exams. I wrote 92-492 on the paper.
He glanced at it and raised one red eyebrow. Whered you find it?
For better or worse, I decided to tell him the truth. At Olsons house. Were you out there?
At that moment, the outside bell gonged. Mitchell Hartley didnt seem to hear it, however. He had a dreamy look on his face.
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