by Dover, L. P.
“Are you going to work, or are you just going to stand there?”
I turned around and there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, was Tyler’s father. He was dressed in a pair of black and gold fighting shorts with a plain white T-shirt drenched in sweat. He and Tyler looked so much alike, I wanted to burst into tears where I stood. They had the same blond hair and cut, even though Steven’s was showing some gray. They also had the same body type, tall and muscular. Luckily, I held the tears back and peered over at the empty desk . . . my desk.
“I didn’t know if I was going to be allowed back.” I whispered. “I need to find Tyler.”
Sighing, Steven reached for one of the clean hand towels we always had stacked neatly on the desk. “He’s not here, Kacey. I don’t think he’ll be back for a while.”
“What do you mean he won’t be back for a while?” I gasped.
Steven shrugged his shoulders. “He called and said he wanted to get away. I trust that he’s making the right decision. He knows what he needs.”
“So I guess you know what happened?” I asked nervously, hanging my head. I didn’t want to see the accusation in his gray eyes. I saw enough of it already in Tyler’s.
“Yes, I was here when Tyler found out. I don’t know the whole story, but I do know that you’re not a bad person, Kacey. Anyone who talks to you can see that.”
“Tyler can’t,” I noted sadly. “He let me go without letting me explain.”
“Listen,” he murmured softly. “Tyler is just like me when it comes to his temper. He’s quick to act before thinking. Sometimes I don’t know how Mary puts up with me. However, my son is smart. He needs his space right now to sort everything out. You’re just going to have to let him go and hope he comes back to you.”
That’s what I’m afraid of— he won’t come back.
Two Days Later
I HAD JUST gotten done with my morning run when I noticed Kyle’s red and black sport bike sitting in the driveway. It was Wednesday morning and I still hadn’t seen or heard from Tyler. I tried his phone twice and it went straight to voicemail both times. Even Bree seemed to be acting weird every time I talked to her, which made no sense. I felt like I was losing everyone, except my damn brother, who’s incessant badgering was about to drive me insane.
“What, are you stalking me now?” I grumbled, glaring at him as he took off his motorcycle helmet.
Smiling, he ran his hands through his tousled blond hair and set his helmet down on his bike. He always rode with no protection on his skin, which was kind of stupid given how wild he was on the bike. If he wrecked, I was sure his shorts and tank top wouldn’t protect him much. He felt like he was invincible and I just waited for the moment when he could be proven wrong. Sometimes, it felt like that time would never come.
“Nope, I’m actually staying in Vegas until the fight this weekend. I got word your ex is having a hell of a time during training. I guess I really fucked him up. I thought you should know. However, it appears he doesn’t want you back from the shit he’s been saying. I guess it’s better you found out now, so you can stop moping around.”
“How do you know that?” I snapped. “Where is he?”
Pulling out his phone, Kyle scrolled through his videos until he found the one he wanted. “This one was sent to me last night. Tyler’s in California, training with Matt Reynolds.” He handed me the phone.
“But isn’t Matt training Gabriella?”
Huffing, he nodded and pressed the play button on his phone. “Yes, which means your loverboy is there with her.”
And given the situation, it also meant he was probably bound to do something stupid. “You know she hates you, right Kyle? You fucked over her brother. Why do you have this fascination with her?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. She’s hot and she can kick ass. Guys like that kind of shit. Now watch, and listen to what he says,” he commanded, pointing to the phone and turning up the volume.
It was Tyler in a practice ring with Matt Reynolds, his moves sloppy and poorly executed—he was fighting terrible.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Matt snapped, throwing his hands in the air. “If you think you’re going to win the title like this, you’re wrong. You might as well throw in the towel now.”
“Or you could always get laid,” another guy added.
What the hell? I wanted to jump through the phone and tell him to mind his own business. I recognized him though, he was one of the Twins of Terror. It was either Ryley or Camden Jameson—I could never tell them apart—but this one had changed his hair from blond to dark.
Breathing hard, Tyler put his hands on his bare hips and I felt bile rise up my throat as I watched him nod. “You’re absolutely right, Ryley. Fuck ‘em both. I’m sick of this shit. Let’s go out and have us some fun.”
Ryley hopped into the ring and fist bumped him. “Now that’s what I’m talking about. I know a couple of women who’ll make you forget about everything.”
“Fuck yeah.”
Handing Kyle back his phone, I closed my eyes and collapsed onto the front porch steps. I couldn’t watch anymore.
“You know what’ll make all this just perfect?” Kyle mentioned excitedly.
Gritting my teeth, I rested my elbows on my knees and hung my head. The thought of Tyler going out and fucking other women made me sick. Did I mean so little to him? “What are you talking about?” I whispered, swallowing hard to keep from throwing up.
Kyle sat down beside me and bumped me in the shoulder. “You should come to the fight on Saturday and sit in my corner. Show the bastard that you’re not moping around. This crying bullshit is pathetic. He’s not crying over you, now is he?”
Obviously not.
“Fine,” I snapped, getting to my feet. “You win. I’ll sit in your corner. Just do me a favor and leave me the hell alone about Tyler. I don’t want to see or hear anything about him again.” I stormed to the door and opened it wide, looking in at what used to be the only place that felt like home. If my grandmother was alive, she’d tell me to go after what I wanted.
I knew what I had to do.
ONCE MY BROTHER left, I booked the first available flight to Santa Rosa. Unfortunately, it was later in the afternoon, which had me arriving around seven o’clock. I had no clue if Tyler would be at the gym, but I was determined to find him, even if I had to drive around all night in my little rental.
The gym was vacant when I drove by so I decided to get something to eat at Panera Bread to kill some time. The only problem was that I wasn’t hungry for the soup and salad. I ate it anyway, knowing I’d get sick if I didn’t.
Chirp.
Startled, I jumped in my seat and fumbled for my phone which was in my back pocket. It was the first text message I’d gotten in days. Of course, it was wishful thinking to believe it would be Tyler, and when I looked at my phone it happened to be from Paxton.
Paxton: Am I seeing things or are you in California?
What? Hastily, I searched around the restaurant . . . nothing. It wasn’t until a knock on the glass made me turn around. There he was. Smiling, I quickly grabbed my tray, dumped my food into the trash, and hurried outside. I was relieved to see a familiar face. California felt so foreign to me now; it wasn’t my home anymore.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, lifting me up in a huge hug. His arms were sweaty and he was dressed in a gray tank top, black running shorts, and wearing an Oakland Raiders baseball cap. When I didn’t answer, he set me down and his smile disappeared. He already knew.
“I’m here to see Tyler. He’s not speaking to me right now.”
“Yeah, I know. News travels fast in the UFC world, especially, when it involves someone like Tyler and your brother. Are you okay?”
I shook my head, closing my eyes to hold back the tears. “Not really, Pax. Kyle made Tyler believe that it was all a setup, that I made him fall for me so we could mess him up before the fight. I know he’s out here som
ewhere and I don’t know how to find him.”
Sighing, Paxton bit his lip, his eyes guarded. “I know where he’s at, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see him right now.”
“Why not?” I exclaimed. “Is he with Gabriella? I’m not leaving here until I see him.” I didn’t want to imagine him with her, but he had to hear me out, even if he ended up slamming the door in my face.
Starting toward the car, Paxton followed and grabbed my arm. “What are you doing, Kacey? I’m not going to let you drive around all night.”
With my other hand, I flung open the door and snapped, “Watch me.”
“Dammit,” he snarled. “Fine, I’ll tell you where he is, but you’re making a mistake. It’s not the right time.”
“It’ll never be the right time, Pax. I need to get everything out in the open.”
Hanging his head, Paxton groaned and took off his hat, running his hands through his dark hair. “Fine. He’s at the gym.”
“No, he’s not. I just drove by there an hour and a half ago and it was vacant.”
“Trust me, he’s there, Kace. I’m going to follow you over there and wait for you in the parking lot. You’re going to need me.”
Furrowing my brows, I gazed up at him nervously. “Why do you say that?”
“Because,” he murmured, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear, “you’re going to get hurt and I don’t want you running off by yourself.” Sadly, he smiled and turned on his heel. “I’ll meet you there.”
I was already hurt, so it didn’t matter if I got hurt even more. My nerves, however, were shot by the time I pulled into the parking lot at the gym. Paxton was right—Tyler’s truck was there. Pulling into the space beside me in his yellow Hummer, Paxton nodded toward the door and waved me on.
Swallowing hard, I took a deep breath and opened the door, clenching my hands into tight fists to keep them from shaking. Before reaching the front door to the gym, I looked back at Paxton one more time for any hope of reassurance, but all he provided was a sad smile.
I can’t be a coward. Be strong.
Stopping at the door, I repeated those words over and over, until I saw Tyler in the ring with Matt Reynolds. He was fighting perfectly, like nothing was wrong. He didn’t even look like the same guy I saw in the video. In fact, he was doing amazing. Licking my lips, I held onto the handle and slowly opened the door as to not draw any attention to myself—it didn’t work.
Tyler stiffened at the noise, his tattooed muscles clenching tight as he slowly turned his head, his eyes going wide in surprise when he saw me. He wore his signature green and black fighting shorts and his platinum blond hair was spiky from being drenched in sweat. My God, I missed him, but I was furious with him too. We stared at each other for only a fraction of a moment before it all changed and he got back into position, turning his attention to Matt.
Matt, on the other hand, acknowledged me with a nod and took off his gloves. “Take a break,” he announced, “I’ll be back in five.”
He disappeared to the back, leaving me alone with Tyler. The tension in the room was so palpable I could cut it with a knife. I was afraid my voice wouldn’t work, so I took a deep breath and shouted, “Are you not going to say anything?”
Not looking at me, Tyler hopped out of the ring and went straight for the punching bag. “What do you want me to say, Kacey?”
Circling around the ring, I came up behind him and stopped while he pounded on the bag. “I want you to listen to what I have to say. Stop running from me.”
“I’m not running. I just choose to be here, away from you and your jackass brother.”
“So that’s it, huh? You automatically assume I’m like him, so you run off and start fucking the first girl you can find.” Immediately, he stopped, his chest rising and falling with his ragged breaths. “Yeah, my brother was all too happy to show me a video of you talking shit.”
Tired of looking at his back, I grabbed his arm and pulled as hard as I could, but he turned around willingly. My lips trembled and I dug my nails into my palms to block out the pain in my chest. For a split second he looked sad. Then, I blinked and it was back to stone.
“Tyler, I accept the fact you don’t understand why I kept my family history a secret, and why would you? You come from a perfect home, where your parents love you. I come from one of greed and malice. I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting a functional family until yours. It made me realize happiness is possible. I even started believing I could have that someday.
“My brother is a dick and when I had the chance to move away from home, I did. I left and never looked back. I never anticipated falling in love with you. Hell, I wanted to stay away from you and the fighting world.”
I paused and closed my eyes, the burn welling up behind my lids. “My one regret,” I began, my breath hitching, “is that I was selfish. I didn’t want to let you go, but I can promise you . . . I was myself the entire time we were together. I need someone who can love me for who I am, not hate me because of where I come from.”
Jaw clenching, he looked away and stayed silent. I jumped when Matt slammed open the back door and started sliding on his gloves. He busied himself with other things, pretending not to notice us, but the awkward silence was deafening.
“Say something,” I whispered.
Tyler glanced over at Matt and never once looked down at me. “I have nothing to say.”
The tears flowed freely now that my heart had shattered into a million pieces. I wanted Tyler to look at me, to touch me, but he didn’t. He turned away from me and started punching the bag again, harder with each jab. I was too embarrassed to look at Matt, so I kept my head held high until I got to the door. I could see Tyler’s reflection in the windows, and he never wavered. He was done with me. As soon as I opened the door and the fresh air blew across my face, I broke down and ran, hoping I could get as far away as fast as I could.
However, when I turned the corner, I ran straight into Paxton’s arms, burying my head in his chest. “Get me out of here, Pax,” I cried.
Keeping his arm around my waist, he led me over to his Hummer and opened the door. I slid in while he grabbed my suitcase and purse out of my rental and set them in the back seat. “We’ll come get the car tomorrow. You can stay at my place tonight.”
I laid my head against the window and closed my eyes. There were too many tears, I couldn’t see anything. “I thought he loved me, Pax. Instead, he was cold . . . detached. I’ve never seen him like that.”
Pulling out, Pax huffed and squealed his tires as he sped out of the parking lot. “I told you it wouldn’t be good, but you didn’t listen, Kacey. Things are really screwed up right now. You picked a bad time to come out here.”
When I looked in the side view mirror, Tyler burst out of the gym, and slammed his arms into the brick wall when he saw Pax’s vehicle speeding away. More tears flowed from my eyes, obscuring my view of him as we slipped further and further away. I couldn’t breathe, my chest ached, and the harder I tried to breathe the more lightheaded I got. “From the way he looked at me, I don’t think there was ever a good time, Pax. I just want to go home and forget all of this ever happened.”
Closing my eyes, I could feel my lungs tightening up with each breath. In my lifetime, I’d only had a handful of panic attacks, my worst one being when my father died. This one, however, felt like I was going to die.
“Kacey! What the fuck? Hold on, we’re almost there.”
The whole world felt like it was closing in on me, strangling me, taking away every precious breath. I had lost everything. Before passing out to my sweet surrender, I saw Paxton’s face above my own, his green eyes terrified.
“Breathe,” he commanded, his voice sounding so far away.
Closing my eyes, I heard frantic voices all around me, and hands touching my skin.
“Breathe, beautiful. I need you to come back to me.”
Tyler.
His voice echoed in my ear and I knew it was my o
wn hallucinations imagining he was with me. It was most likely the last time I would ever hear his voice. “I want to hear it again,” I rasped. “Say it one more time.”
My vision was cloudy, but I felt something warm close over my lips, calming me. “I need you to come back to me, beautiful.”
Too exhausted, I closed my eyes and slowly fell into the darkness. “No,” I replied. “It’s too late.”
Head throbbing, I scrunched my eyes and could already tell they were swollen, and most likely red. When I tried to stretch, I couldn’t move my body because a set of arms held me tight and I was wrapped up in a gazillion blankets. “What the hell, Pax? I’m not a burrito.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not Paxton. If it were him, he’d be losing his limbs right about now.”
Wide-eyed, I rolled out of his arms and fell onto the floor, groaning when I knocked my knee on the bed frame. “What are you doing here?” I snapped angrily, glaring up at Tyler. “You have no right to touch me.”
He held his hands up in defeat. “I know, but you need to let me explain.”
Stalking around the bed, I flipped him off and slammed open the door to find Paxton waiting just outside. “I don’t need to let you explain shit,” I challenged, glaring back at Tyler. Then to Paxton, I crossed my arms over my chest defiantly. “Tell me what’s going on, Pax.”
Tyler slipped out of bed and slid on his jeans and a wrinkled white T-shirt. “You had a panic attack last night, Kacey. After you left, I couldn’t let you go, so I got in my car and followed you guys. Paxton pulled over when you started struggling for air.”
“Like you care,” I hissed, glaring at him.
“I do care and I’m so, so sorry. You have no idea how hard it’s been.”