“But, Father... ”
His hand sliced through the air, cutting the unseen tension I’d created then slammed into my cheek in an explosion of fire and pain.
Tears fell even though I tried to stop them. To not give him the satisfaction.
I covered the fire with my own hand trying to douse it. Unsuccessfully. Father knew exactly what he was doing both in the best placement of a slap to the face to ensure maximum pain but also when to use corporal punishment for maximum personal effect.
Orin took two steps toward me but I shook my head slowly to stop him.
Anything he did would make it worse but watched him wrestle with having to stand by and watch what was happening to me.
“You will be married at the end of the season,” Father said again through clenched teeth.
I couldn’t move.
I stood there for an agonizing amount of time waiting for him to walk away from me as I’d never be allowed to walk away from him.
He glared at me for an eternity before finally turning away.
I bolted in a full run as best I could with heels on toward Franklin’s garden wanting to release all the energy suddenly filling my body. It also allowed me to let the damn holding back my emotions break.
By the time I threw my hands out in front of me to brace myself against a statue, I was fully sobbing. I slid down onto my knees, not caring about the dirt or who saw me or just how un-ladylike my behavior would be seen.
I couldn’t be bothered to care about the quick footsteps that followed me.
It took five deep breaths to calm myself down.
Orin touched my shoulder and I flinched. I knew it was him. No one else would’ve followed me but my legs were too weak from the run to stand.
“Are you all right?” he asked. Something about his voice calmed me.
“No, Orin, I’m not. I don’t want to marry him.”
He lifted me off the ground like I weighed nothing and set me on that stone bench then took the spot right beside me.
“Why is your father making you marry him if you don’t want to?”
“He thinks Noah is a good match. It’s all about social standing. It’s like selling me to the highest bidder and I hate it. My mother would never have let this happen.” I know she wouldn’t have. I don’t think. I didn’t know her but she would’ve protected me.
“You’re really going to have to marry him?”
“Yes.” Tears filled my eyes once more. I swallowed hard and decided to work on that bravery. “Unless…”
“Unless?”
“Perhaps if someone else wanted me… even then he probably wouldn’t go against his word to Mr. Underwood… but he might.” I paused watching for any kind of reaction but that stone face remained firm. He was excellent at not show any emotion and I wished it was something he could’ve taught me. “But there isn’t anyone anyway.”
“What would your father do if he wasn’t around?”
“Noah will always be around.” Noah had been with his friends when they made the announcement and honestly, didn’t look any happier about the announcement than I had been. However, when it comes to our fathers, Noah is even more of a coward than I am.
We fell quiet again.
I never had any idea what Orin had on his mind. Since my experience with men was limited to my father, I couldn’t even guess.
“Orin.” My voice broke on his name. “Why can’t you do it?”
His eyebrows shot up. “Do what?”
“We talk. You treat me like a real person. Orin, are you interested at all?” The forwardness of my question surprised me. With extremely limited time, he was my only hope. He clasped my hand between both of his and looked at me. Really looked at me and if trying to find something specific.
Even this small touch sent my heart racing. His touch traveled everywhere.
“Yes.” His eyes closed like he’d confessed something terrible. As if being interested in me was something horrible he didn’t want to admit.
“Then you… ”
“I can’t explain it to you, Elizabeth but I can’t ask for your hand.”
I yanked my fingers back from him, stood up, and stomped my way back toward the house. He said he was interested in me yet couldn’t marry me to keep me from the despicable Noah Underwood. Anger like never before filled me.
Apparently, it wasn’t only my father keeping me from happiness.
“Let’s leave then,” I yelled and turned back toward him fully aware of how desperate I sounded and probably looked. “We can leave town and no one would find us.”
Orin grabbed my arm, dragging me to him until we were only a breath apart.
“I can’t do that. Trust my words when I say I wish that I could but it’s impossible.” I did trust his words. Trust him. That was part of the problem.
If I hadn’t met him, I never would have tried to get out the arrangement. I would’ve lived my sad, pathetic live doing exactly what was expected of me.
“I hate this,” I said sadly.
Orin took my face in his hands and slowly, slower than I imagined possible, moved toward me touching his lips to mine.
Warmth blanketed me, bringing my body alive for the first time.
In my regular life, I’d been dormant before this moment, gliding through life but not living it. Not having kissed anyone before, I had no idea what I was doing yet I pushed up to my toes so that I could reach him better, taste him more.
I feared he’d end this as quickly as he’d started it.
Instead, he wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me effortlessly up to him.
I clung to his shoulders as his tongue pushed my lips apart.
Olivia had kissed boys this way and told me about it in detail but I had to believe it hadn’t been like this. Otherwise, she never would have kissed another.
His mouth was warm and wet against mine and he tasted like sweet lemonade. Before I had my fill, my feet touched the ground and there was far too much space between us. My head buzzed with excitement—and something else.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said then ran his tongue over his bottom lip. His words broke through the fog that clouded my head.
“I’m not.” I smiled softly. “You know.” I slipped my arm through his as we slowly walked back to the entrance of the garden. “If I have to marry him, then I’ll also have to… ”
“Stop right there.” His face was dead serious, his jaw tightened. “I don’t want to think about that right now. Or ever.”
“Orin, will you explain it to me eventually?” I laid my head on his muscular arm while taking the smallest steps possible. “Why you would kiss me but not keep me from marrying someone else? Someone horrible?”
“The marriage will not take place, I promise you.”
I stopped. He sounded so sure that I wouldn’t be marrying Noah that it caught me by surprise.
“The only thing that could keep me from marrying him is if someone made my father a better offer but you won’t do that will you?”
“I… really wish I could explain but no I can’t.”
“Fine.” I began my walk again. “But just so you know, even if Noah decided to run away with the circus, my father will marry me off to someone.”
Orin stiffened and I felt his gaze on me all the way back to the house.
We were out there so long that the other guests had left and we’d been alone without knowing it.
Even my father left as if he didn’t even remember I came with him.
I’d been left—forgotten.
***
The only thing that got me through the next days was meeting Orin in the garden after my father retired for the night. I shouldn’t have done it but if I was going to become someone’s wife, I wanted to be Elizabeth for at least a few moments.
The world constantly changed around me but suffrage hadn’t come to the Davis house.
I wasn’t living.
I was existing.
&n
bsp; The more Orin and I met in the garden for a late night chat, the closer I became to him. The more attached I became and I began to question whether it was the best idea to continue.
Yet I couldn’t resist seeing him one more time.
“Have you changed your mind, Lizzie?” He asked walking arm in arm through the garden under only a sliver of moonlight. I didn’t know for sure what he was referring to because the last thing he’d said before that was about missing the brightness of the full moon. I missed his brightness.
“Not that I know of.”
“Your betrothal?”
I perked up at the mention of my upcoming marriage. We didn’t discuss any of that in our late night conversations.
“Why would I change my mind? He’s not the man I’d choose to marry.”
It was the most honest I’d ever been with anyone. I dreamed of falling in love with my future husband the way I’d hoped my mother had with my father. Even when I’d also always know that fairytale had never been an option for me so I’d kept that dream to myself.
He stopped the both of us to pull me to him, his face searching mine so intently I almost became uncomfortable.
“Elizabeth… ” The moon danced on his dark eyes.
“Will you ask for my hand?” I almost wished I could take that question back. Since I already knew the answer, there’d been no point in asking it. Yet I still asked.
His face relaxed and he took a big step away putting a little distance between us.
Distance I didn’t want.
“No.”
“Then what’s the point to all this?” I yelled. I shouldn’t have. Anyone could overhear us but the frustration of being so close to exactly what I wanted yet so far from having it pushed me over the edge. There were times I cursed the day I met Orin Vilkatas because without him I would’ve still been resigned to the life I’d been assigned. “Why not just let him have me and be done with it? Especially if you won’t even tell me why you don’t want me. I’m not asking you to love me. Just care enough not to let me live this pitiful existence.”
“This isn’t about not caring for you,” he roared back. “I want you but we can’t be together.” His jaw set firmly in his universal sign that he wouldn’t be giving me anything more than that.
“I guess there’s no reason to continue to meet then, is there?” I said it but absolutely didn’t mean it. Those moments with Orin at night were the only happy ones of my day but I couldn’t turn back to him. Those moments were almost gone since we only had a finite number of them left but that hurt even more.
I climbed the stairs back to my bedroom long before I normally would’ve after seeing Orin. Each and every time my room seemed smaller when I returned. More confining.
As I lay in bed willing myself to fall asleep, something tapped against my window.
At first, I ignored it.
Until a rain of pebbles hit my window sounding exactly like hail yet it hadn’t begun storming outside.
Then two loud, angry voices rose up from the backyard. One distinctly my father’s. The other most definitely Orin’s.
I scrambled out of bed and ran to the window.
Father didn’t even know about Orin.
Oh god…maybe he did.
The dark night with only a half-moon illuminating the yard made it easy for me to step out on the balcony without being seen.
The two of them were toe to toe, angry and loud. My father’s hand fisted Orin’s shirt as he pushed Orin away.
“Stay away from her,” Father said in his angriest voice.
“I need to speak with your daughter,” Orin said back, tone and volume equal as if he wasn’t worried about the unspoken threat against him.
I worried for him.
“Get off my property.” That ended the conversation as far as Father was concerned because he turned back into the house locking the door and turning off the outside light.
Orin glanced up at me like he knew I was there the entire time then began to walk backward toward the garden. When he made it halfway to the tree line, I decided to go back inside. I wanted to watch until he disappeared but didn’t think it was the best idea. Made me seem even more desperate than I was. Finally, I couldn’t help myself.
I spun on my toes, hoping I’d still be able to make out his form in the dark—and slammed into a large, solid mass.
Chapter Five
Something covered my mouth, silencing the scream about to break free. A soft yet strong confinement and Orin’s scent surrounded me. When he finally lowered his hand, he still held onto my elbow.
“You scared me,” I said breathlessly.
“Sorry.” His lips curled, and he didn’t look the least bit sorry.
“How did you get up here?” I whispered. It still sounded loud to my ears. “You were almost to the trees.”
“I’m quick.” Orin rested his body against the wall. The weight of his gazed forced goosebumps to cover my body. “I forgot to do something today.”
“What’s that?”
His smile melted my heart. All man. All forbidden. Completely exciting.
He cupped my face with hands then pushed his lips softly against mine.
This kiss was intriguing.
His taste had to be all his own. I couldn’t imagine anyone else smelling and tasting as he did. I wasn’t an expert in this area, having only done this once, but this one seemed different, almost desperate as he pushed against me like he didn’t want to let me go. One of his hands sneaked up my spine, clasping the back of my neck so I’d stay exactly where he wanted me.
I should’ve been scared at how tightly he held me.
But I didn’t.
I didn’t want to move and instead wrapped my arms around his waist holding him as tightly as he held me.
Early the next afternoon I met Olivia at the park with two girls we’d known since we were little.
It was the perfect day. We knew it wouldn’t last when the darker gray clouds began rolling in so we parted to try to make it home before the storm began.
When the sky opened up to unleash a torrent of rain and the sound of fury itself rumbled above me, I hadn’t made it home. I didn’t have an umbrella or even a jacket with me to try to block it all out.
The sidewalk got slick with water. As I hurried along, already soaked to the bone, my shoe slipped off the edge of the pavement sinking the heel into the muddy area beside it.
It was like a knife cutting soft butter.
“Oh good grief,” I said with a groan trying to yank my shoe out of the mud with everything I had.
Four attempts got the damn thing free as the rain picked up more causing everything around me to disappear. Visibility was gone beyond my own hand in front of my face.
Still, I kept pushing forward. I needed to get home.
I wrapped my arms around myself as I stumbled. It took four steps to regain balance and keep me from falling flat on my face.
I wouldn’t make it home. I’d have to find somewhere to wait out the storm.
It took me a minute to get my barring to see exactly how far I’d gone and I realized Orin’s house was pretty close. I’d never been there but he told me about it in one of our late night talks.
With each of the steps leading up his porch, my heart thudded harder and harder in my chest.
What if he already had company?
What if he hadn’t really meant I’d be welcome anytime?
In all likelihood when he told me where he lived, he never would’ve considered I’d have the kind of freedom that would lead me to his porch.
I knocked anyway.
After a few moments with no answer, I pounded on the wood much harder.
Still nothing. At least he had a covered porch to protect me from the rain, even if I was still cold. This covering wrapped around the side of the house to the back as I slowly walked around there to knock again only this time on the back door.
Definitely not home.
Without him there, I�
��d still wait out the rain before making the walk home. I sat on the chair next to the door and began to shiver given the fierceness of the downpour leaving me completely drenched and the cooling temperature.
I pulled my legs up to my chest wrapping my arms around them making myself the tightest ball of a person possible to help keep some body heat in.
As I sat there vibrating, I let my eyes wander over the area where Orin spent his time. His backyard opened into a heavily wooded area. On the top step, outside the rain, sat a small pile of clothes. It didn’t make sense. No one would be drying clothes in the middle of the rain.
“Lizzie!” Orin called snapping my attention to where he emerged on the edge of the tree line.
On instinct, I jumped to my feet but barely saw him through the curtain of rain.
Finally, he made his way through the haze.
It had to be him. I’d recognize his voice anywhere but I watched him. My gaze started at his face, the chiseled lines with water dripping from the edges. Down to his bare chest and made my insides tighten. I’d never seen him without a shirt on. Then even lower—dear lord he was naked as the day he was born.
“Oh!” A rush of blood burned up my face as I spun on my heel to turn my back toward him.
I’d never seen a naked man before and honestly, it was one of the things that worried me about getting married but I had a sneaking suspicion that a naked Orin was a good one to see. He hit the steps behind me then stopped.
“You’re naked,” I said stating the obvious.
“I didn’t expect anyone to be on my porch when I returned,” he said back with humor in his voice, highlighting how much he enjoyed my embarrassment.
Having absolutely no self-control when it came to him, I turned my head to glance over my shoulder to see if he’d finished dressing.
He hadn’t. My heart pounded against my chest and I bit my lips together.
A large grin spread across his face.
He caught me trying to get another peek at him naked. I could’ve rolled over and died right there. Instead of acknowledging it, I turned away again and closed my eyes.
“You can turn around now,” he said.
He was still shirtless when I faced him. Staring at his naked chest didn’t seem like the best idea but men went without shirts when they worked outside all the time. My father never did but I’d seen that others did so Orin’s chest shouldn’t be a big deal.
Moonstruck Page 3