Moonstruck

by Heather Young-Nichols

  “What are you doing?”

  “I need to get you cleaned up,” he said starting to push the buttons on my shirt through the holes. He was focused on the job, working quickly but stopping before he was done.

  “What about… ” Phillip, I wanted to say.

  “The others have it under control. I need to take care of you right now.”

  As guilty as it made me feel, I was glad to have him there with me, thinking about what I would need because, to be honest, I couldn’t think about it myself. He moved around the room, grabbing a washcloth, making sure the water wouldn’t be too hot. I tried to focus on those things. Those things were normal. Unfortunately, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The image made my stomach lurch again. The blood alone… I couldn’t look for more than a second.

  Being more careful, gentler than he’d ever been, Orin slowly worked the rest of the buttons on my shirt until he could peel it off. It felt like he was taking a layer of skin with it. Next were the slacks that I had been grateful more than once that I’d been wearing the day I was taken even if it was completely out of character for me. Everything came off but before I could think about the fact that I was standing in front of my husband dirty, bloody and naked, he swept me off my feet and set me in the bath.

  I didn’t feel the heat of the water when Orin climbed into the other end. Our bathtub was large enough to accommodate the both of us but I hadn’t expected him to join me. Taking the washcloth, he then soaked it with water, soaped it up and went to work on my face. I just sat there staring at nothing as he swiped the cloth down my cheek, rinsed it in the water and repeated the movement. Without a word, he used a small bucket to dump hot water over my head. I didn’t even blink as he began washing my hair. When he was done, he went back to work on my skin.

  I could have sat there quietly for hours until I heard a howling roar from outside. My eyes popped wide as fear gripped my body that the Balodis family followed us back. Everyone would be in danger then.

  “My mother,” Orin said quietly.

  His mother? It was a full thirty seconds before the memory of what would cause her to make that kind of sound took me back over and filled my eyes with tears again. I didn’t know how much more I had in me but these were more like teasers because they did not fall. And at that moment I realized how selfish I’d been since he got to me in the woods. I’d been worried about me, thinking about how everything was affecting me. But Phillip was Orin’s brother, they’d grown up together and Orin was taking care of me. Only concerned with me.

  “Orin?” I didn’t know how else to ask him if he needed to cry or scream or rant over the death of his brother.

  “You absolutely do not worry about me right now.” The sincerity in his eyes almost made me cry all over again. I knew he wasn’t done though. His jaw hardened and he had a hard time lifting his eyes back to my face. I still hadn’t looked directly at him, much preferring the view from my periphery. It felt safer. Like seeing his grief head-on would completely crush me. “Did they hurt you, Elizabeth?” He asked this quietly as he wiped the cloth down my cheek and neck.

  I knew what he meant. He could see the small bruises, scrapes, and scratches. He wasn’t talking about that.

  My gaze finally snapped to catch his eyes which made his concern even more obvious.

  Biting my bottom lip, I shook my head quickly. The movement felt odd to me because it was the first deliberate movement I’d made since I’d been thrown to the ground in the woods. He searched my eyes as if trying to decipher whether I was telling the truth or not. I shook it again and looked away.

  “They hadn’t decided… who… yet.” Thankfully the Balodis family was quite unorganized and he didn’t need to know that a few had tried.

  He nodded. “That means I don’t have to make them die slowly and painfully.”

  “What?” I asked feeling confused. My mouth was dry and my tongue felt too big.

  “If they’d touched you, I would have to make them pay for that. Now, I don’t.”

  I swallowed hard. I wanted to tell him to take the high road, not to kill the other pack but deep down, I wanted them all dead. They’d just keep coming for me, that much was clear. I didn’t want to go back to living my life in fear.

  We finished the bath in silence, staying right there after I was clean until the water was cold. The dark water, darkened with dirt and blood, emptied while I sat there watching all remnants of Phillip go down the drain. Orin tucked a towel around his waist then wrapped one around me, went into our bedroom then came back with a nightgown. He dried me then dressed me. I was so grateful because I was feeling weak and shaky but hating that I couldn’t care for myself.

  As Orin led me to the bed, he grabbed some bottoms for himself and pulled them on roughly just in time for the bedroom door to fly open and smack the wall behind it. Diana stood just inside the door with Nell right behind her. Once again, I couldn’t look at her and see the pain. I wanted to be of some comfort but needed to shield myself. The way she’d burst in I knew she was there to lash out. She deserved the right to lash out. Orin quickly slid between her and me.

  “Not now, Diana.”

  “Yes, now, Orin. I need to know what happened. How is it my husband is the one lying dead?” Her voice broke on the word ‘dead.’

  My heart went with it and my eyes filled with tears.

  “Elizabeth can’t answer your questions right now,” Orin said as gently as he could. “Tomorrow.”

  “Not tomorrow! She owes me the truth!”

  I recoiled away from them when I Emmie come through the door. It was too much. My skin was crawling again, anger and sadness buzzed in the room creating an air that was so thick I almost couldn’t breathe.

  “Mother,” Orin said softly but stepped forward folding his arms across his chest.

  I thought Emmie would want at me like Diana did but instead, she wrapped her arms around her daughter-in-law, whispered in her ear quickly. Everyone else could probably hear what was being said but I was too exhausted to even try. Whatever it was worked because Diana let Emmie lead her from the room. When they were all gone, Orin shut the door tightly then came back to me.

  He led me back to the bed, pulled the covers out enough so I could climb in. The tightness of his jaw and the way his eyes took in every mark and bruise made me aware of the fact that he was controlling his temper. Then he climbed in beside me and wrapped me in his arms.

  “He saved me,” I said quietly after we’d sat there long enough for the sun to fully set. I felt like I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a month instead of days. The small burst of exhaustion that I’d had in that house didn’t count as sleep. That was more falling unconscious but it wasn’t restful. “He wouldn’t let them have me. He should’ve let them have me.”

  Orin’s body tightened beside me. “No, Lizzie, Phillip did what needed to be done.”

  “How can you say that?” I wet my bottom with my tongue. “He’s your brother.”

  “And you’re my wife.” He sighed. “Lizzie, if the situation were reversed… it would have been me dead on the ground to make sure Diana returned to him. That’s how this works. Do I wish I could’ve been there instead of him? Yes. But that isn’t what happened.”

  “I’m sorry, Orin. I’m sorry about your brother.”

  Orin pushed back and slid down so that we were eye to eye.

  “I know, sweetheart. I know.” He searched my eyes for signs of something but what I didn’t know. “Can I… Lizzie, can I please kiss you?”

  Instead of answering, I leaned over to him and pushed my lips against his. I felt him sigh against my mouth. With his hand fastened against the back of my neck, he held me there while his tongue pushed into my mouth softly caressing mine.

  I was home.

  “Sorry,” he pulled back.

  “It’s all right.”

  “I’m just so relieved to have you back. I can’t tell you… ” he said softly which just about melted my heart then
and there. “I need to know, Elizabeth.” He kissed my forehead. “You said they didn’t hurt you but I see the bruises.”

  Nodding I knew I had to tell him. “They were rough and I mark up easily. They didn’t touch me the way you fear. A couple tried but were unsuccessful.”

  “Tried?” Air seethed out of his flared nostrils.

  “Orin, he didn’t get very far. At most he scared me but I’m fine now because I’m with you.” I leaned in to kiss him again which released a little more of his tension. “Are you all right?” I asked again.

  “He was my brother. I’m sad. I feel horrible but I know he wouldn’t regret his sacrifice for a minute.” He eyed me again. “I need to focus on you.”

  “I’m fine,” I insisted again. More aggressive than I’d ever been, I leaned in, initiating a long slow kiss in which our tongues found each other’s again and again like they were dancing. “Let me show you that I’m fine.”

  His eyes changed from that of concern to a look of heat, still tinged with sadness but I needed him. Needed him close and loving me while I showed him just how much I loved him. Showed him that I was still me and not damaged in any way. And it was the only way I could think of to make him feel better even if only for a few minutes.

  Orin pulled back to watch me but I could already feel his arousal against my leg. “Are you sure, Lizzie? I… don’t… ”

  “Orin. Please make love to me.”

  I didn’t need to say anything more. He took control, rolling on top of me so he could settle between my legs, kissing me slowly and letting his hands move up my nightgown until he had to lean back to pull it over my head. Any former embarrassment at being completely naked in front of him was long gone as I laid there letting him look as long as he wanted. I knew there were some bumps and bruises but nothing severe enough to stop him.

  Normally when we were together, Orin took his time, using his hands, tongue, and mouth to drive me to a release I’d never known, or hoped, possible. But our situation wouldn’t allow it. He had to be one with me and I with him. When he pushed inside me slowly, my heart broke and filled all at the same time. I pushed the lingering guilt out of my mind. A part of me thought we shouldn’t be doing this when Diana would never be with her husband again but we were both still alive and that wasn’t fair either.

  Orin held me tightly and moved against me softly burying his face into my neck. His breath, even as it began coming faster and faster, feathered against my skin causing goose bumps to break out across my body.

  I clung to him just as hard and I never wanted to let go.

  I’d do just about anything to not have to face tomorrow.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  I honestly hadn’t thought it possible that I’d be snuggled in my bed beside my husband again, having just made love. It was frightening how quickly I resigned myself to the life that would lay ahead of me with the Balodis pack. Then again resigning to other people’s desires was my life up until I met Orin. Yet there I was safely in his strong arms slowly falling asleep. I knew tomorrow would be horrible and sad yet I pushed those thoughts down, buried under as much denial as I could muster.

  When I woke in the middle of the night, I didn’t feel Orin beside me. Then I flipped around and he was there, his hands folded behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. It was one of those times I couldn’t figure out what was going through his head. I assumed Phillip was on his mind but couldn’t always be sure with him.

  “Hey,” I said noticing the sleepy quality of my own voice.

  “Everything all right?” He glanced down at me then back to the ceiling.

  “Have you slept at all?”

  After a long pause, he said, “A little.”

  “Talk to me, Orin.” I pushed myself up so that I could lay my head on his shoulder and ran my hand down his bare chest. For someone who got so hairy when he shifted, he was remarkably normal in his human form.

  “I’m just thinking everything through. I’m very happy that you’re home but my brother is dead. And I wouldn’t change anything. Except maybe if I could take his place.” He sighed. “Tomorrow, please don’t take anything that happens personally. Diana is hurting.”

  “I deserve whatever she has to say anyway.”

  This time his gaze hit mine almost forcefully. I could almost feel it.

  “If you would never have met me or if I would have married Noah or Bradley, your family would still be intact. None of this would have ever happened.”

  “My family is still intact, Lizzie. Do you still not understand? You’re my family. We will get through this. Although I will take much more pleasure in ending the Balodis pack than I would have before.”

  “Was it too much earlier?” I asked quietly. He’d told me once that I could talk to him about anything so I had to know and wasn’t embarrassed at all to ask that question. “Should I have not pushed you to be with me because I just needed to feel like I was doing something to help you feel better.” My face flushed with those words. so maybe I was a little embarrassed to be saying the words out loud.

  He kissed me softly. “I needed you, Lizzie, but I also didn’t want to hurt you if you were already hurt.”

  “You never hurt me, Orin. You heal me every day.”

  Our conversation came to an end with those words when Orin rolled over on top of me again. I felt his need without him telling me and was more than happy to oblige. I wasn’t going to pretend to understand what was happening with him, how giving him access to my body the way he needed would make things better. I didn’t care about any of it. I just wanted to be whatever would do him the most good. His fingers weren’t as gentle, his lips more demanding but the more pressure he put on me the more I wanted until we both came apart and were left gasping for air. It was quick and demanding. It was what he needed.

  He huffed out a breath and dropped his forehead to mine. I didn’t think he realized how much rougher he’d been with me until he was done. I smiled up at him just to reassure that I was absolutely fine. I’d never known being with someone physically could be so good or in this case, help heal.

  ***

  In the morning, Orin was already gone when I woke letting me sleep too late once again. He told me he’d never wake me when he was the reason I was up late. I’d asked him not to let me oversleep but apparently when it came to me, he couldn’t be reasoned with. Right after I’d picked a black dress and the lowest shoes I owned, our bedroom door creaked open and Orin stepped quietly through like he was trying not to wake me. His eyebrows slammed down when he didn’t find me on the bed but straightened when he found me by the closet.

  “I meant to be back sooner,” he said coming toward me. “I didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

  “I’m not the who needs to be taken care of today.”

  “You’re the one I need to take care of always.” His eyes left mine to take in every curve of my body that he’d already memorized. “Everything is arranged for today. We need to leave in an hour.”

  Nodding, I said, “All right.” But I also had a million questions that he began to answer without my asking as he pulled a fresh set of clothes out for himself.

  “Dad made the arrangements and you can accomplish just about anything with enough money. Phillip will be buried right at the edge of the cemetery just outside of town. We will be alone and uninterrupted but have to move quickly and Phillip is already there.”

  That covered everything that had been rattling around in my brain.

  Dressed and feeling incredibly solemn, Orin and I arrived at the cemetery. I noticed all the others huddled together near a freshly dug grave. Little Ruby was even quiet and my heart broke at all the things her father was going to miss. As we passed Ivan, I heard him growl low in his chest which got a pointed look from Orin. I knew by coming here, I’d be the focus of their anger, their grief, but there was no way I would stay home. I could take whatever any of them wanted to dish out.

  Instead, I held Orin’s hand tightly as they eac
h said something about Phillip. I don’t know if it was on purpose or not, but they skipped me and I was so grateful for that. I didn’t want to stand in front of his family to talk about a man I hadn’t gotten to know nearly well enough while they looked at me the way they were.

  When they were each done, the guys lowered the plain pine box that held Phillips body, into the ground then covered it with dirt. Orin explained on the way over that this was how the pack did it. They did everything themselves to keep human involvement to a minimum. I can’t be sure, but I would have sworn that I saw Orin’s eyes fill with tears at one point. but being a man, he pushed them away. I wouldn’t have thought less of him if cried over the death of his brother, but men weren’t raised to show emotion and he’d already shown me more than I ever expected.

  Antan and Emmie left first, taking little Ruby with them and glancing around I found Diana sitting on a bench not far from us. She looked devastated which was expected. I didn’t have children with Orin but if something happened to him, I’d want to crawl right in that grave with him.

  Making my way over to her slowly, I watched Karina, Roman’s wife, mimicking my moves as if she didn’t want me to be near Diana alone.

  “Diana,” I said softly, “I don’t want to make things worse but I want to tell you how sorry I am.”

  “Sorry?” she snapped. “Why are you even talking to me? If it weren’t for you my husband wouldn’t be dead.”

  Couldn’t argue with that.

  “Diana, she didn’t do this.” Karina stepped in.

  “Were you there when he died?” Tears fell silently down Diana’s face.

  I could only nod in return.

  “He wasn’t alone then? That’s something at least.” She thought for a moment. “Did he say anything? Orin has kept us away from you so I haven’t been able to ask. I just want to know if my husband said anything before he died.”

  I slowly shook my head no. There wasn’t a point in telling her that her name was the last on her lips when he hadn’t had time to say anything else. I didn’t think there was a point at least.