My chest tightened. It was easy to see how she might. Alcohol had been involved. And everyone knew that whenever it was, inhibitions were always set free. It was never a good thing.
Damn it.
I should’ve found a nice way to end the kiss she’d initiated instead of amplifying it. It should have been a simple kiss, probably like she’d intended it to be. I shouldn’t have allowed it to turn into something as heated as it had.
I ran my fingers through my hair. Fuck, I might have screwed things up. What if she thought I’d taken advantage of the fact she’d been drinking? I had bought her a shot. Would she think my intentions had been to get her drunk so we could do more than kiss? No. She couldn’t think that when she’d been the one to kiss me, could she?
My head swam.
The bottom line was it was just a kiss. We hadn’t slept together. We might as well have for as much as our hands had been all over each other and as long as our lips had been fused together, though. If I knew Tori as well as I thought I did, she would be embarrassed about last night and probably really pissed at herself. Possibly even at me.
I grabbed my satchel, wallet, and ID card before heading for the door. I needed to fix this. I needed to smooth it over somehow. “See you later.”
I left the room before Walker could reply. My feet moved fast as I headed down the hall for the guy’s dorm and through the door to the staircase that led through the center of the house. I paused once there, and glanced through the mini-lounge, searching for Tori. She wasn’t there. When a girl opened the door to the girl’s hall, I glanced around her. Girls walked between rooms and their communal bathroom, but none of them were Tori. Had she already left the dorms this morning? Was she downstairs? Was she even in the building anymore?
I grabbed my cell and checked to see if she’d been active on any social apps yet. She hadn’t, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t up. I’d learned in the short timespan I’d known her that she wasn’t the type to stay on social media for hours. She didn’t post often either.
Crap. Why didn’t I have her cell number? It would make life a hell of a lot easier right about now.
I waited near the staircase for a few minutes longer before finally deciding to give up. It was a good thing too, because if Walker had seen me standing there, he’d never have let me live it down. He’d crack jokes about me being a lost puppy waiting on its owner or some shit. I didn’t want to hear it. All I wanted was to find Tori and to make sure we were okay.
Once I made it out of the house, I booked it across campus to the student center so I could make it to the dining hall for coffee before first period. As I entered the building, Tori was the first person I saw. She sat at a table near the entrance with Summer and Paris. I stared at her, trying to gauge her mood, knowing it would be a good indicator as to how she felt about last night and us. She seemed fine. She smiled and laughed like usual as she picked at a muffin.
The tightness in my chest dissipated. Maybe I’d been overreacting. Maybe Tori was okay with what happened between us. Maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal. Hell, maybe it would be the start of something amazing between us.
As I thought this, Tori’s eyes locked with mine as though she could feel me staring at her. I flashed her a crooked grin. Her face paled, and my grin disappeared. I watched as her cheeks tinted pink before she averted her gaze, and I felt myself deflate.
Obviously, she wasn’t as okay with what happened last night as I’d thought.
Summer glanced over her shoulder. When she spotted me, her lips twisted into a sad smile before she shifted her attention back to Tori. She said something that had Tori laughing, but neither of them looked back at me.
My wolf howled.
He was pissed and so was I. Although, I was positive we were pissed for different reasons. I was upset because I should have listened to my gut about the whole thing. I should’ve put the brakes on, and my wolf was pissed because my emotions were too much for him. He was already barely holding it together since I hadn’t been able to shift. He hadn’t had a release from all his pent-up energy surrounding the holidays yet.
Swallowing hard, I made my way to the line for the coffee machines. I didn’t know what I needed to do to fix things with Tori, but the first place to start was probably to give her space. That had worked in the past with girls. If I gave them a day or two to calm down from whatever dickhead thing I’d done, then I could come to them with sympathy in my eyes and some smooth words to help gloss things over.
I wasn’t sure those things would work with Tori, but I was down to try.
I stepped in line for the coffee bar behind a couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other and ground my teeth together. It wasn’t a sight I cared to see. Not this morning. Not so up close and personal.
“Hey, man. What the fuck? You left the dorms like a bat out of hell,” Walker said as he stalked to where I stood. His brows were pinched together and his face looked stern. The girl who stood in line behind me huffed. I cast a quick glance at her. She’d folded her arms over her chest as though she was pissed Walker had skipped ahead of her in line. I didn’t blame her. Coffee was life. “What’s going on?”
“I think I might have blown my one and only shot with Tori last night.”
“Why do you say that? It looked like the two of you were hittin’ it off fine.”
He would think that. Hell, anyone who saw us would have thought the same. I knew better, though. Even so, I didn’t have a clue as to how I could have gone about things better. Even if I’d tried to end the kiss she’d started before all the groping hands and moaning, she’d still be pissed at me today because she probably would have felt rejected.
It had been a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. I’d been screwed either way.
“Well, I think she’s regretting it this morning. She won’t even look at me.” I smoothed a hand over my face.
Walker glanced over his shoulder in Tori’s direction. “Maybe she’s just not a morning person, or maybe she didn’t see you? Don’t be so quick to judge.” He slapped me on the back and then walked away.
The girl behind me let out a sigh of relief. I was sure it was because she was one person closer to that cup of caffeinated goodness she relied on to jumpstart her morning, same as I did.
Once I was finally able to get my coffee, I headed for the table where everyone sat, but the sight of Tori’s stiff back had me second-guessing myself. I figured as soon as I stepped to the table she’d come up with some bogus excuse to leave so she wouldn’t have to be around me.
To sit or to keep moving through the door? That was the question of the day.
I reached in my pocket for the quarter I kept there for tough decisions, setting my coffee on a nearby table. I ignored the people sitting there, wondering what I was doing, and balanced the quarter on my thumb. Heads, I walked to the table and sat down, pretending everything was peachy. Tails, I gave everyone a wave, said hello, and kept on walking through the double doors.
I pulled in a breath before flicking the quarter into the air. When I caught it, I covered it with my hand, exhaled, and then looked.
Tails. Thank God.
I grabbed my coffee from the table of strangers and slipped my quarter back into my pocket. My heart hammered as I wove my way through the dining hall toward everyone, but I never removed my eyes from Tori. As I grew closer, her posture became more rigid.
Was it because she could sense my nearness? Was that a good thing?
“Morning, everyone. I’ll catch up with y’all later.” I flashed a wide smile at everyone and made eye contact with them. Even Tori. I held my coffee up in a greeting and then kept on walking.
Tori was the only one who looked at me like I’d grown two heads. Had she been expecting me to sit so she could make an excuse to leave? Was walking away the right thing to do? Who knew, maybe my quarter toss had led me in the wrong direction and now I’d royally screwed things up with her.
That would be just my
damn luck.
I headed outside into the cool morning air, gripping my coffee tighter than I probably should. Why the hell was I so bad at this with her? I’d never had an issue talking to girls or being around them before Tori.
This was all new territory. And, I was drowning.
My brows pulled together as I took a sip from my coffee. My wolf paced, his unease at my sudden rush of negative emotions getting the best of him. He had his own issues going on; he didn’t need me adding to them. The sanctioned run was still six days away. I didn’t know if he would be able to last without shifting. Hell, I didn’t know if I would either.
My sanity was buckling.
I passed the basketball court, making my way to first period. This semester it was Meditation and Spiritual Release. My eyes scanned the guys shooting hoops before class. Maybe that was what I needed. To play a game of ball to help blow off some steam? It had worked in the past. It was another thing last semester that had kept me sane while I waited between sanctioned runs and underground flights.
Speaking of underground fights, when was Bryant going to pass out invitations for the next one? He was the one in charge of the damn thing.
I scanned the court, but didn’t see him. It was a longshot he’d be here so early. Even if he had, I didn’t know that I’d say anything about fight club to him. It wasn’t something we talked about. Mainly because it was against academy rules for the club to exist.
I took another sip from my coffee and sighed. Yep, today was going to be a shit day. That much was clear.
Tori
Holt just walked away from the table. He didn’t even look at me for more than two seconds. Was he upset because I’d kissed him last night? Had I pushed things too far? He didn’t seem to have a problem with it last night. After all, he’d been just as into the kiss as I was.
So, what was his deal?
He didn’t have a reason to be nervous or embarrassed like I did. He hadn’t initiated the kiss. I had. Besides, he was too good-looking to have those kind of self-conscious issues.
Right?
I hoisted my backpack higher on my shoulder as I maneuvered around a group of guys standing in the middle of the sidewalk.
“All right,” Summer said from where she walked beside me. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours. Did something I’m not aware of happen between you and Holt last night?”
“No. Why?” I risked a glance at her. Her attention was fixed on me.
“Then why are you two acting like you slept together and both regret the shit out of it this morning? Was he an awful kisser?”
“What? No. He was fine. And, we’re not acting like that.” I pushed my bangs out of my eyes. Why had I decided to get them in the first place? They were always in my way.
Summer positioned herself in front of me on the sidewalk and came to a standstill. She folded her arms over her chest and widened her eyes. It was the look she gave me when she was calling bullshit on whatever I’d said. My teeth sank into my bottom lip as I was reminded Holt had called bullshit on me last night too. I had a lot of people in my life who could see right through me.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
“Seriously? Is that how you’re going to play this?” She tapped her foot on the sidewalk, her eyes never wavering from me. “I know something is up. I saw Holt walk in. He looked hopeful. Nervous, but hopeful. Until you blew him off.”
“I didn’t blow him off. He didn’t even sit with us. He just got his coffee and left.” My arms flailed when I talked. Why was I allowing this to get me so worked up?
“Maybe you should have smiled at him. Gave the guy some reassurance.”
A long sigh pushed past my lips. “I’m being dramatic, I know. It’s just, that was really out of character for me last night. I don’t normally make out with guys at the bar.”
“So, you’re worried everyone is judging you because you made out with a guy at Last Call?” Summer started walking again. “It was Holt, not some random dude. I doubt anyone thought anything horrible about you. Heck, they probably saw it coming from a mile away like the rest of us. You two were destined to get together.”
“You’re right,” I admitted. She glanced at me with a wide grin on her face. “I mean, about most of that. Not that last part. It was just Holt, not some stranger.”
“Right. Even if it was a stranger, nobody cares. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives, I guarantee no one is paying as close attention to yours as you think.” She took a sip from her coffee. “And, I mean that in the nicest way possible. That sounded really bitchy. Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I know what you mean.” She wasn’t being harsh or rude; she was being honest. Frankly, it was exactly what I needed to hear.
“Good.” She linked her arm through mine as we continued walking. “Plus, it was just a kiss. It’s not like you did anything else on the dance floor.”
Exactly. It didn’t mean we were dating. It didn’t mean the kiss would lead to something more between us. Heck, it didn’t mean it would ever happen again. A kiss was just a kiss. Nothing more. Nothing less. I’d been caught up in the moment, and apparently, so had he.
It didn’t need to be a big deal. I didn’t need to make it one either.
“Thanks, I don’t know how I ever lived life without you,” I said to Summer.
“There are many who feel that way about me.” She winked and flashed me a grin. “Seriously, though. Why don’t you give Holt a chance? He likes you. A lot. I can sense these things. He’s a really good guy. If he was interested in me, I’d be all over that. Holt Taylor is hot.”
My cheeks heated. He was. And, that was part of the problem. He was too hot. I didn’t know how to handle being around him. I’ve never had a guy like him interested in me before. At least not that I knew.
“What was your first period class again?” Summer asked.
“Meditation and Spiritual Release.” I didn’t have to ask what hers was because I already knew—Essentials. I had both of our schedules memorized.
Plus, I’d had Essentials last semester. It was one of the classes at Lunar Academy that was segregated by house, which I didn’t think was necessary. I understood why, but I thought it would be more interesting if they lumped us all together like other classes and let us learn about each of the houses instead of only our specific one.
“Right. Enjoy that.” She took another sip from her iced coffee. “And, if you happen to see Holt again today, enjoy that as well.” She winked before walking away.
“Ha. Funny,” I deadpanned.
“Girl, I’m not even joking,” she called over her shoulder. “Enjoy it.”
I continued toward my Meditation and Spiritual Release class, knowing exactly where it was. I’d memorized the map given to us on the first day. Out of all the classes that we had to take at the academy, this was the one I thought of as the most pointless.
It had nothing to do with being a werewolf.
Then again, neither did Strength Training. A person didn’t have to be strong to keep their wolf intact. Heck, they didn’t have to be strong for them to shift with ease either. I thought of Strength Training as their version of P.E., and therefore, I hated it.
I stepped into the Meditation and Spiritual Release classroom, and the first thing I noticed was Professor Trinity.
“Hello, hello. I’m Professor Trinity. Welcome. Grab yourself a pillow from the bin at the back of the room and find yourself a spot in the circle.” She motioned to the others forming a semicircle in the center of the room.
“Okay. Thanks,” I said as I made my way farther into the room, heading for the bin.
I grabbed a pillow from the top—black with tiny white polka dots—and then started toward the center of the room to add myself to the circle. Holt was seated on one side of the circle.
I froze.
Why hadn’t I felt him staring at me like I had every other time before? His eyes were on me. Had they been on me the enti
re time, or had he just now noticed me too? Either way, I swore excitement danced in the depths of his eyes, making their vibrant green seem even brighter. Was he glad we had a class together this semester?
Was I?
Where should I sit? Beside him? Beside the girl I knew from last semester, Cynthia? My heart beat out of control as I debated while standing there like an idiot. Also, how the hell was I supposed to sit on the floor in this skirt?
“Tori, hey. How was your break?” Cynthia asked once she spotted me.
I flashed her a smile and then stepped to where she sat. “It was good. How about yours?”
I could feel Holt’s eyes on me. Was he pissed I hadn’t sat next to him? Did it seem like a bitchy move?
“Eh, it was all right. Are you excited for this class?”
I shrugged, trying to ignore my inner turmoil as I situated myself on the pillow carefully. The last thing I wanted to do was flash anyone. “I guess.”
“It seems like it’ll be a piece of cake. I mean, how can we be graded on meditating? Or spiritual release? Those are both personal things. That’s the only thing that’s got me excited about the class—we’re all guaranteed an easy A.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
Holt’s eyes were still on me. I could feel them. I tried not to pay attention to him, but even when I wasn’t looking at him, my body focused on him.
“Okay, class, let’s begin.” Professor Trinity closed the door. She moved to the semicircle we’d created. I thought she was going to sit beside me, but instead so motioned for Holt and me to scoot closer. “The two of you move together. Let’s close that gap up.”
My heart leaped to my throat. I risked a glance at Holt to judge his reaction, and he caught me. When his eyes locked with mine, I saw questions pooling in them. Maybe he wasn’t being a jerk about the whole thing. Maybe he just didn’t know how I was feeling and was trying to tread lightly.
Could that be possible?
He stood and grabbed his pillow before moving to sit beside me. The others did the same until the circle was whole. My palms began to sweat when he sat beside me. Inches were between us. Immediately, my thoughts dipped to last night. The way his hands had felt on my hips. The way his mouth had tasted. The way his tongue had slipped against mine.
Wolf Bitten: Lunar Academy, Year One Page 5