Big Sound Temple

by Ben Stevens

  Job is to replace some fence that have got rot next to big pond with the koi. This fence is make from wood and bamboo. Fence is about as high as top of my leg.

  Wood part of fence is the two round post that go in ground and two thin piece that go across from one post to other post. I mean like this two wood piece are vertical.

  The bamboo is cut and horizontal piece put at regular interval along two piece of vertical wood. I hope I am explain this well. Bamboo piece go both side of two vertical piece of wood.

  Bamboo is cut down from private area that is behind temple. This place is get lot of mud when it rain. It have many statue and stone object that have be discard over the year.

  Some of these statue have be there so long that only their head is now above the mud. My father one time tell me some of these stone statue may be one or two hundred year old.

  In this lonely place also some bamboo grow. It good that I can use natural resource like the bamboo. It not cost temple any thing and bamboo can last many year. But only if it is correct cut with saw.

  This part difficult to explain but I try. Bamboo have thing like solid ring that grow inside it. This thing like ring also make bamboo look sometime little raise on outside.

  Japanese word for this thing like ring is fushi. Fushi can also sometime mean knuckle on person finger.

  Bamboo not just all hollow inside. It have thing like compartment that is separate by fushi. Important when cut bamboo for fence that person cut above fushi.

  Because fushi is bit that is point up on fence. Fushi still exist and so stop rain from get down and inside bamboo piece and make it rot.

  This is thing that my father teach me but thing that lot of Japanese people not know. So they make bamboo fence and feel proud of tradition Japanese appearance but soon say ‘Oh no my fence is rot!’

  Of course also when choose bamboo it must be quite thick. Not good to use bamboo that have not chance to grow very thick or long.

  I choose three bamboo that are may be five or six metre tall. I easy get all piece I need for replace fence from these three bamboo.

  I use the saw to cut bamboo piece. I remove all bit of small branch and leaf that grow on them before carry them to area by pond.

  But there is problem. I put post in ground and use the screw for to put two vertical piece of wood across but it not look good.

  I mean wood look too fresh and new. It shiny wood that come from shop. It need to look more old. Like it have be by pond for long time. Otherwise it too obvious to person eye when see.

  So I get small blow torch from janitor shed. I take blow torch to where half build fence is and use on new wood.

  I not use too much but soon wood start look more black and old. May be this seem like the baka thing to do when read. But it work very well.

  Yamashita san come outside of shoin room and stand on wood platform. He smoke the cigarette while he watch me work.

  He smile and say ‘Very good idea Hiro san.’

  I feel like pride but not like to show in my face. Just nod head and quiet say thank you.

  Of course I not use blow torch so it actual damage wood. Just enough so it make wood look like old. Like it have be there long time. This please eye much better.

  Then I cut amount of bamboo piece I need and use electric drill and screw for to fix them.

  After I clear up all rubbish and my tool. Is almost time for my lunch break when priest sudden come and ask if he can talk to me.

  Priest come inside my shed when he ask for to talk to me. I not think priest have ever be in this shed before. Because is no reason for priest to come in the janitor shed.

  Priest say he sorry. He say he know is soon my lunch break but he have important thing for to say.

  He say he speak to me in room which is sometime use as his office next to actual temple office. I mean room where Italian people I before write about one time spend night.

  I walk with priest around side of temple. We enter main entrance of temple. This is different to entrance of temple hall or the entrance to corridor with many glass window that is next to hall.

  Main temple entrance have temple office on left and on right is big area that have some change room for monk and also entrance to upstair dojo where is teach the judo and kendo.

  (I before write I practice karate for short time when I child. This only martial art I ever try. My father try to interest me to take lesson in kendo or judo but I say no. Because I not like to be hit with stick or develop ear that look like the cauliflower.)

  There is also big temple kitchen where many bento are prepare for temple visitor at two spring and autumn higan festival. Also where soup is prepare on new year eve evening.

  So priest show me to room he sometime use as his office. He sit in one chair and ask me for to sit in other chair.

  I try to think why priest want to see me. I worry he hear something that concern my problem before with Sakura. May be he even discover that apartment I was pay rent for suffer much damage.

  May be person who read this think that this is all my personal business. That it nothing to do with temple or priest.

  But person who is employ at temple have certain responsible. Not matter if they monk or gardener or lady who work in office. Have to make sure they behave well and not attract the bad attention.

  Because temple is give good pay and also offer the job for person whole life.

  In return person have to make sure not cause disgrace to temple because of some bad action. Not matter if this bad action take place after work hour. Still bad action. Alway there must be some responsible to temple whatever person do in whole twenty four hour of every day.

  So now I am think of heavy thing I throw at Bad Boy head and that knock him out. I know I just protect my self but this still violence act. Also I think of very bad word Sakura scratch in apartment. (I mean I not actual see Sakura do this but still I think she do.)

  If priest know all this then I very ashame. I think may be he ask me for to improve my behaviour.

  I think I say I very sorry and give very low bow. Say all problem is now over and I again live the quiet life.

  But after we sit priest just start talk about how recent temple have the money problem. This is what I suspect before.

  Priest say is become very big problem. Say he is have to find more and more way for to save the money.

  I know what is happen now. I think priest soon ask me to only buy thing like tool and material like wood if I really need. Every person who work at temple now have to try to save money where ever is possible.

  But then priest say ‘Hiro san recent I not able to sleep at night because of what I have to do now.’ He say ‘Hiro san this is very hard decision for me to make.’

  Priest normal handsome face now look very tight with the stress. Is also now some small grey hair on his shave head though he only about forty. His eye look very sorry as they look at my eye. I not know what is happen.

  Then priest say thing I never even imagine I hear. That temple have no choice. That to save money have to stop have full time janitor.

  Priest stop talk for few moment and look at me. But I not say any thing. I not able to say any thing. Just feel like not believe what is happen.

  No one is ever lose job from temple unless do something very bad. Like when monk set fire to temple hall in 1954. Otherwise it just not happen. Temple job is job for life.

  It like priest is know what I think. Because he say ‘I very sorry Hiro san.’ He say ‘Believe me everyone at temple think your work excellent.’ He say ‘I think you are very skill and hard work person.’ He say ‘But temple just not able to afford for your full time position.’

  Sudden I feel like flash of anger. I not think priest think of everything I do.

  Alway I respect talk to priest. Because he priest and also my boss.

  But now I quick say thing like who is sweep all leaf and cut grass and bush and tree? Also who is fix break pipe and toilet and fence and light and door and window?
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  I give many more example of what I do at temple. Because I not think priest realise how much example of janitor and gardener work there is.

  Priest nod head and look very respect. He give me time to finish speak and also for to calm down. I think he is let me what Wendy call let go the steam. He look like he understand my react because I just lose my job.

  Then priest speak in the soft voice. He say he know janitor and gardener company he can ask for to send someone to temple for to work when it is really need. But only sometime.

  Priest say temple monk soon have to do more thing like set out chair for service in temple hall and may be even sweep some leaf.

  Sometime monk help me like when is big service but soon they have to do all the time like is part of their job. Priest say it not what he want because all monk is already very busy but is simple no choice.

  Then I just feel very tire. Last few month I alway seem to have to fight. Just one problem after other.

  Final I think everything OK and then this. I think next may be an airplane just fall out of sky and land on my head.

  So I say ‘OK when I have to leave job?’

  Priest again say ‘I sorry Hiro san.’ He say ‘When new year begin.’

  This just a few week away! But I know priest say this because there is five day holiday at start of new year. This give me time for to move my thing out of my house. (Is obvious I not able to live in house behind temple when I not work at temple any more.)

  But where can I go? Because of what happen with Sakura I think is difficult for me for to rent apartment.

  Is not many estate agent office in this city and my name and detail is probable already pass among all of them. I mean by estate agent office who rent me apartment which Sakura damage.

  This estate agent office probable tell all other estate agent office not to rent apartment to anyone call Hiro Matsumoto who is age twenty four. Say otherwise will be rude word scratch on floor and wall and the big penis draw on bathroom mirror with the red lipstick.

  Priest say he still pay me to twelve of February next year. Because twelve day of every month is my pay day. This like special extra pay because I lose job.

  Priest also say he know someone who work for city council. Priest say he ask this person if there is job for me on team who do thing like cut small grass area and tree and bush that is beside road in city.

  But I not want job like this! I temple janitor! It job my father spend some year for to teach me how to do. He spend more year if he not sudden get sick and die.

  This job I think I do until I become too old or I die. It job I one day have hope for to give to my son.

  This job is who I am. I not some man who is cut tree by side of road with thing like chainsaw. I make all temple look nice. Building and garden. I very proud of my work. I know many work trick and secret my father teach me and his father teach him. Because we all temple janitor.

  Now priest is take all this away from me. Thing that is my life. Thing that I think I be right from time I very small.

  But my face now not show what I think.

  I just quiet say ‘I understand.’

  I look at priest but my eye show nothing. I just feel like am empty shell. That I am now like man with nothing inside. Everything have be sudden take away from me.

  Priest again say how sorry he feel but I not want hear or care. Priest actual stand up and make deep bow. But I just not want see this.

  Priest say ‘Hiro san I not tell anyone else yet.’

  I stand up. I say ‘I sorry I have to go now.’

  Priest nod head. He look upset. I not think he want do this at all. He is good man. But still is me who have lose the job.

  I leave priest office and quick walk out of main temple entrance.

  After lunch I think for to give some small green ball that smell like fish to koi in pond.

  Only have to feed koi now every three or four day. Because cold winter weather take away koi appetite. They just lie at bottom of pond and not really move.

  Now I think I never see again koi in summer when pond is warm. Then koi all come to side of pond and make much splash when is time for to feed them.

  Then I wonder why I not before notice what I see now. Because koi with no tail is float down upside near bottom of pond.

  I take long stick and use it to poke koi. But it obvious that koi with no tail have recent give up and die. It have not start rot yet but I remember what my father say to me just before he die.

  So I quick use net for to get koi with no tail out of pond. I also get spade tool from my janitor shed and start walk up mountain path past all the many tomb.

  I know quiet place where I can bury koi in earth. I think to bury koi deep. I mean so animal like fox not able to dig koi up and eat it. I not want this.

  Because I very depress I think for to get very drunk.

  I think this after work finish on Saturday. Just want to go to bar in Shianbashi. Have lot of beer and schochu and forget for short time problem like I soon have no job.

  So I finish work get change and go out. Walk down hundred stone stair and in to Shianbashi.

  I go straight to narrow bar with the concrete floor I talk about before. Where person who drink have to stand and put the money in little pot.

  Is not very busy because still quite early. I order beer and put some money in pot. I finish beer quick and order another. Bar man recognise me.

  He say ‘How are you?’

  I say thing which mean same as alway. It not really mean good or bad thing. I buy him drink and we talk about the baseball.

  Then some builder man come in bar and they talk about baseball also. Many Japanese man like baseball.

  I drink more beer and keep talk and start to feel more OK. Bar start to get more busy. Soon most space at bar is full.

  But people alway come and go. This place to spend all evening or just come for quick drink before go some where else.

  Then Bad Boy sudden come in with his two friend! Just like time before. This is start to feel like repeat bad dream.

  One of Bad Boy friend is wear the cap that say Fuck You! on front. This is same man who come to my house for to get money when uncle give me the bad loan. Only then he wear the suit because what he is do is like his work.

  Tonight Bad Boy is also wear a black cap. (Everything he wear is alway black.) I never see him wear cap before. He also have cap very low so it almost cover his eye.

  I sudden think Bad Boy is wear cap because he still have big bruise on head from heavy marble object I throw at him. He is wear cap for to hide this bruise.

  Bad Boy look at me. I look at him. All narrow busy bar now not so noisy as before. People scare of Bad Boy and his two friend and so not talk too loud. Be careful not for to be notice by the Bad Boy.

  People see Bad Boy is look at me. My heart is beat very loud in my body. I think now Bad Boy and his friend take me outside bar and start beat up me again. That Bad Boy want the revenge because of what happen before.

  But I am keep look at him. His mouth is like shake with the anger he have for me. Is obvious he want the revenge.

  But something is stop him from do something. I think what this is? I very confuse as well as scare. Bad Boy two friend also look at him like they confuse too. They want attack me but first need the Bad Boy permission.

  Then I sudden suspect Bad Boy is not want to tell anyone what really happen the day I knock him out. That he tell Sakura to keep it secret. Because it not good for his tough man reputation that man like me make his blood spill.

  I have to use weapon but still I beat the Bad Boy in the fight. I know thing like this never happen to him before.

  I think Bad Boy even tell his two friend some lie like he fall down the stair when he drink too much beer. That that is reason why he get the lump on his head. (Because it obvious his baseball cap is be use to cover something.)

  Strange thing is now happen in my mind. Because for some reason I just not feel scare any more. Instead my feel is al
most like confident. I just stare straight into the Bad Boy eye.

  Still his mouth shake with the anger but is like he is freeze. I think I am right about what is stop him from be able to take the revenge.

  Because if I tell anyone why Bad Boy really have to wear the cap then Bad Boy become what Wendy before tell me is call the laugh stock. His tough man gangster reputation will be destroy.

  I am stare in his eye.

  My eye to his eye say ‘You do anything to me I tell everyone what really happen that day.’

  My eye say ‘You can beat me up now but unless you kill me I after tell everyone that I beat you before.’

  My eye say ‘I mean after I find you in bed with my girlfriend.’

  My eye say ‘That because I beat you before this reason why you again have to attack me with your two friend.’

  My eye say ‘You leave now and not do any thing to me then no one ever know what real happen.’

  My eye say ‘Is just secret you Sakura and me keep for ever.’

  Bad Boy two friend stare at him then at me. Then they stare back at him. They like two baka dog wait for the owner instruct.

  Friend with Fuck You! cap have the open mouth. I not even think he remember me from when he visit my house. I think that time may be he was on the drug. Many Japanese gangster man have the drug problem.

  Then Bad Boy say ‘Let go.’

  Bad Boy and his two friend not even have drink yet. Friend again look surprise.

  Friend who is not wear the Fuck You! cap start say ‘But what about’

  He not have time to finish before Bad Boy say the word that mean shut up. He say it in very angry voice. He turn and walk fast out of bar. His friend follow a few month later.

  They gone. Is almost like feel of relief now in all bar.

  Bar man put glass of beer on counter in front of me.

  He say ‘This from me.’ He say ‘Because you buy me beer before.’

  But this never happen before. I mean few other time may be I buy bar man beer but he not buy me one in return. I not expect it anyway.

  But I say thank you and drink beer. I try talk about baseball again but bar man and builder man just keep look at me with the strange expression. They know something strange is just happen but not know exact what.