by Toni Aleo
Jaylin is on her phone, typing violently, as I glance over at Callie and nod. “I did. Her story is amazing.”
“She lost her mom too, young like us.”
“Yeah, Nico said that when we go to Nashville, we can have dinner with her. We were supposed to have dinner tonight, but she has to fly out. I think one of her kids is sick.”
“Aww! That blows. But cool about Nashville. Can we go there like now? I have so many questions. Plus, it didn’t say online what gene she had, but I wonder if it’s the same one we have.”
“I think they are all the same,” Jaylin says. “Cancer gene, out to kill ya.”
We both nod as the lights dim, and then out of nowhere, the crowd loses its mind. Yup, Nico wouldn’t be able to handle this. I miss him. I notice that Jaylin is still on her phone, so I reach over, pushing it out of her hand. She glares back at me. But she does tuck it in between her legs as Lacey King takes the stage. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen her this conference, but under the stage lights, she looks even better. I’ve seen some beautiful women, but Lacey is stunning. She has long, luscious blond hair and big lashes that I can see from our seats. She wears a black pencil skirt with a pink breast cancer shirt, and when she waves, people are screaming like she’s a Jonas Brother or something.
Soon, I realize why.
I am on the edge of my seat as I listen to her talk. She takes over the room, demanding the attention of everyone in here. I’m in awe of her story, how after watching her mom die, she fought her own cancer and then decided on her mastectomy. She talks of her family, how it was hard to fight cancer without her mom, and how hard it was on her father and brother. In a lot of ways, it validates my reasoning for getting rid of my breasts. I didn’t want to go through what my mom did alone—or put Callie though that.
When Lacey comes to the side of the stage near our seats, I find myself holding my breath. “I met the man of my dreams when I was almost nineteen years old. I fell hard for him. But sometimes, especially as kids, things don’t work out. We were young, he was on the fast track to the NHL, and I was trying to find me again. Yes, we did break up, and he went his way and I went mine. But the good news is we found each other again, and now we are happily married with the most amazing kids in the world.”
The crowd claps loudly, and so do I, watching her in awe.
“There are a lot of moments in my life where my husband has completely blown me away and made me feel like the most perfect woman on this earth, but the moment that still touches me to this day was when we were kids.” A small little grin sits on her face as she presses her hand to her stomach, the mic at her lips. “As we know with mastectomies, they leave nasty scars, and I hadn’t gotten my implants yet because my dad wouldn’t allow me to since I was so young. So, the thought of being intimate with a guy was terrifying. I remember telling Karson about it, and he was confused at first, but when he saw my scars, he treasured them. He didn’t care that they were there, that I didn’t have breasts or anything. He didn’t love my breasts. He loved me, and to this day, I will never question his love because of that moment.”
I’m holding my breath, and soon, I find myself pressing my hands into my chest.
Nico. Nico does that.
“Who here has had a mastectomy? Stand up for me.”
Most of the room stands up, including Jaylin. Callie smacks me, but I hesitate until Jaylin pulls me up beside her. My heart is in my throat, and I feel my skin tingling as Lacey places her mic in the stand.
“Thank you. Now, do you hate your body? Do you resent your scars?”
I notice a lot of women are nodding. Not Jaylin, but most everyone else. I turn back to the stage and zone in on Lacey.
“I know. It’s hard to love something that society says isn’t beautiful.” She moves her hands out in front of her. “As you can see, this room is completely full of women. There are no men here, and I want you to do something with me.”
My jaw drops when she takes off her shirt, throwing it to the ground. She has implants, but even with the beautiful tattoos on her chest, I can see her jagged scars beneath them. “I want you to remove your shirt with me. Then throw that bra to the floor.”
I’m in shock as people start following her instructions. Surely there has to be someone offended here, but no one says anything. People are cheering, clapping loudly as more and more women remove their shirts and bras. When I look at Jaylin, she’s topless, standing proudly.
Tears burn in my eyes at her beauty, her strength.
I want that.
“Aviva. Do it,” Callie urges.
I want to.
What in the world am I doing?
“I love this body,” Lacey says, tears in her eyes. “And I’m proud of it. Say it with me.”
I don’t say it at first. I don’t utter a word; I just listen to the many women around me who are saying it. When Callie threads her fingers through mine, I look over at her, and she’s saying the words. My heart cracks in my chest, and I ask myself, How can I hate this body when Callie’s is going to mirror mine soon? I can’t have her doing what I am. I am alive. I am loved, and damn it, I am happy.
So, at the top of my lungs as I pull off my shirt, I yell the words until tears stream down my face and I believe them.
I love this body, and I am proud of it.
“Nico, it was absolutely phenomenal.”
I’m basically bouncing, and I can hear the excitement in his voice when he replies.
“Baby, that’s awesome.”
“She is so uplifting. We all took our shirts off—”
“You were topless? Hot.”
“Nico, focus!” I laugh as I stand inside the café, waiting for Jaylin and Callie to get a snack. “We’re topless, all these women with their scars, and we’re all pledging to love our bodies. It was amazing. Perfect, even. I have never experienced something like that, and then I’m yelling so loudly that I know Lacey heard me. She pointed right to me and even yelled ‘Yes!’ Because I have to believe it, Nico. I can’t let Callie grow up hating herself. It’s pointless, especially when she is so loved.”
He sighs softly. “That’s right, Aviva. Man, you don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that. I am pumped you had a good time.”
“Great time! I bought her book and her journal, and I’m really going to work on this. I don’t want to hate myself. I want to love myself.”
“Good, because I love you, Aviva. I love you so much, and I’m so proud of you.”
My heart hurts from how swollen it is with love. I’m so inspired. I let out a long sigh. “I love you more, Nico. You really have changed so much for me.”
I wait for the cocky comeback. But instead, he says, “Right back atcha, baby. My therapist said I was a grown-up the other day.”
“Aw, you’re a real man, Pinocchio!”
He laughs. “I love you, baby. Listen, I hate to let you go, but I have to hit the ice. Be careful going home, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Me either.”
We say goodbye, and as I hang up the phone, I see Jaylin walking toward me with Callie. A weird look is on her face as she holds her phone in her hand. I raise my brows as she stops in front of me.
“That was my informant.”
Like a rock, I fall from my happiness cloud of rainbows. “Oh?”
“I know who Florence Tremblay is.”
I bring in my brows. “Who?”
“Florence Myra Tremblay kept her maiden name when she married Marco Merryweather,” she says.
I scrunch up my face, but then it clicks.
My heart stops, and everything goes cold as she says, “She won’t speak to me. Told me to talk to Nico.”
I knew that shoe was going to fall—I felt it in my soul—but I never expected it would be because Nico lied to me.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Nico
When I get off the plane, I turn on my phone, and it starts vibrating and beep
ing like crazy. Sixteen voice mails and thirty-three texts. I raise my brows as I click on the texts. It only takes one of them to know I’m in deep shit.
Callie: Aviva knows, and she is on a rampage. Take cover.
Jaylin: Dude, really? She’s going to kill you dead.
Mom: The lawyer found out, called me, and I told her to contact you. I told you that you should have been honest from the beginning.
I exhale heavily as I hit my mom’s name. I probably should call Aviva first, but I’m not stupid. I need to know what is going on. Once I’m in the truck, I start it as she answers.
“Oh, Nicolas, she’s pissed.”
“What happened?”
“She called and demanded I let her pay me back.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her it was all you.”
“Really, Mom?” I ask, dropping my head to the steering wheel. “I thought we decided that it was you with my money.”
She scoffs. “She was pissed, and I’m sorry, but she’s scary. Plus, I think you need to own up to this. I didn’t know she would be so upset. Usually women love when men do things for them.”
“Eh, that’s normal women who see it as an act of love. I’m with a strong-willed woman no one has ever done anything for.”
I take a deep breath and rack my brain for how I’m going to handle this. She’s going to yell, but I can handle yelling. Since I decided to do this and everything has been taken care of, she has been so much happier. She isn’t worried about making ends meet, and she’s living. I mean, she closed the shop to go to Barcelona because she wanted to. I knew then I was doing the right thing. She just has to realize that. She has to realize I did it because I am unequivocally in love with her.
“Well, I suggest you get ready. She did not seem happy, and Callie, that sweet thing, was in the background trying to defend you, but Aviva wasn’t having it.”
Callie. That’s my partner in crime.
“It’s okay. I can handle Aviva.”
I hang up and put my phone on the seat. I don’t know if I want to go to her house or mine. Maybe she’s sleeping and isn’t thinking about what I did. She probably isn’t that mad. Probably happy it was me and not some stranger.
Who am I kidding? She’s gonna skin me alive.
I reach for my phone and dial Chandler’s number. “Hey, you okay?”
“Well… Eh, listen, a little backstory. I paid Callie’s gym fees for the next two years, I paid off Aviva’s mom’s medical bills, and then I bought her the shop. How do I keep her from killing me?”
I’m met with silence. “So, do you need the plane to leave the country? Or should I just start planning the funeral? Am I on the life insurance policy?”
“Chandler, be real. Surely she can’t be that mad.”
He scoffs. “If she is anything like how Amelia has described, I think she is that mad and you are that dead.”
“But I did it because I love her.”
He lets out a long breath. “Dude, I know, but she isn’t going to see it that way. She’s gonna see it as pity because that’s all she knows.”
“Whatever. That’s bullshit. She loves me,” I say, and I’m almost to the house when I see Aviva’s car. “Well, shit.”
“What?”
“She’s here.”
“Well, nice knowing you. I’ll tell Carter and Hannah stories of you—”
I hang up and park behind her car. If I block her in, she can’t leave. I get out and lock up the truck after grabbing my bag. I don’t want to be yelled at, but I’m ready for it. I know what I did was for the best, and she’ll realize that once I explain myself. She’ll be okay. We’ll be fine. I’m not worried at all.
When I reach for the door, I pause. What if it’s not going to be fine? What if she freaks out on me and does something drastic? I mean, I knew better. I did, but I didn’t care. From the moment I met her, all I wanted was to make her happy. I wanted to make her smile because she needed to. No one as beautiful as she is should be so sad all the time. Not when I have the means to help her. It makes sense to me. Surely it will to her?
Okay, now I’m worried.
I push the door open, and she’s there, on the couch. Her eyes are wild, and her lips are pressed together firmly as she stands slowly.
“Oh, hey.”
“Don’t oh, hey me,” she snaps, and I nod as I shut the door.
“Okay,” I say. “What’s up?”
She glares. “What’s up? Are you serious, Nico? How could you?”
“What?” I know I shouldn’t be acting like this, but maybe if I play dumb for a moment, she’ll calm down.
Wishful thinking.
“Nico, stop!” she yells, her eyes burning with rage. “You lied.”
I hold up my palms, shrugging. “Eh, not technically.”
“No, it’s very technical.”
“I didn’t do it. My mom did.”
“With your money! I don’t even know what you were thinking. I didn’t even think you could lie!”
I give her a look. “I’m autistic, Aviva. I can lie just fine.”
She glares. “What the hell, Nico?”
“What? I didn’t lie about anything else. Just that.”
“That doesn’t make this better. How could you do this when you know I don’t take charity? I don’t want to owe you anything!”
“You don’t,” I say simply. “It’s yours, no strings attached. I don’t want anything but for you and Callie to be happy.”
“I don’t need your money to be happy! I just need you.”
“Well, I come with the money. And the thing is, Aviva, you were drowning. I have all this money. I wanted to make sure you were taken care of no matter what happens between us. You’ve been struggling for a while. It’s time for some good to come your way.”
She looks as if I slapped her. “How dare you? I am not a charity case.”
I make a face. “Never said you were.”
“By doing this, you have.”
I glare. “That’s bullshit.”
“You knew I wouldn’t be okay with this. You knew I didn’t want your help or anyone else’s, yet you did it anyway! That’s why you hid it. How could you? I feel so betrayed.”
I shake my head. “It’s not even like that. I did it because I love you—”
“If you loved me, then you wouldn’t have done it!”
“Not true!” I yell back, my eyes burning into hers as my breathing kicks up. “We’re talking about moving in together, kids, marriage. I mean, fuck, Aviva, what happens when we get married? All your debt comes with you, and then what? Am I supposed to let you struggle while I’m rolling in dough? Let your asshole of a landlord treat you like shit and see the stress eat you alive? My job is to love and support you, and I feel I do that really well.”
Her eyes widen. “We aren’t married, Nico!”
“Not yet, but you better believe we will be, because I’m not going anywhere. I want you, I want to marry you, and I want to make you happy. Believe me, I would have told you, but I wanted to wait until maybe we were on our deathbeds.”
I said that to make her laugh, but she doesn’t. Her eyes are aflame with anger, and soon, tears start to gather. “You lied to me.”
I let my shoulders fall as I sigh loudly. “Yeah. And I’m sorry if that upsets you, but my intentions were good.”
“I feel like a pathetic charity case who can’t pay my own bills, so my boyfriend has to bail me out. I didn’t need a hero, I didn’t need your money. I just wanted you.”
“Aviva, I feel like you’re blowing this out of proportion—”
“I don’t want to see you anymore.”
My mouth gapes open. “Well, now you’re really blowing this out of proportion. Are you fucking serious?”
Tears fall quickly as she takes in a shaky breath. “I can’t be with someone who lies to me and goes behind my back—”
“You act like I’m cheating on you!” I roar, and she stands ther
e, stone-faced. “I paid off some shit to help you get ahead, and you want to break up with me because of that? That’s fucking stupid, and you know it. Take all of my money, Aviva. I want you to have it because you are the most important person in my life. I love you. Take it,” I say, throwing my wallet to her.
She catches it, her eyes practically on fire. “I don’t fucking want it. What part of that don’t you understand?” She throws the wallet back, and I let it hit the ground. She slowly shakes her head as she wipes away her tears. “You lied about this, about your autism—”
“I never lied about my autism. I just didn’t tell you!”
“You hid it from me, just like you did this.”
“For fuck’s sake, Aviva, I withheld information because I didn’t want to upset you. Be real here. I did nothing wrong! Maybe a little shady, but not wrong.”
“No, I am being real. It’s not my fault you don’t understand boundaries—”
“Whoa, wow,” I gasp, my chest tightening. “Thought my autism didn’t matter.”
She presses her lips together. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Well, you fucking said it.”
She looks away. “You know what, I’m gonna walk away.”
“The fuck you are. You’re staying here.”
“No.”
“Yes. We need to fix this.”
She shakes her head. “We can’t. Not tonight. I don’t know if we ever can.”
I take a step toward her, and she backs up. “Get your stubborn head out of your ass and realize that I did this with good intentions. I did this because when we get married, we can start a life with no worries in the world. I don’t fucking need the money, Aviva, I need you.”
“Funny… That’s all I wanted from you. You—nothing else. I would have figured it out.”
“Why? When I can take all your burdens away and we can be happy?” She moves past me, and I try to grab her. “I don’t want you to leave. I want to talk about this.”
“For what? So we can yell and scream at each other while going round and round? You don’t think you’re wrong, and I know you are, so there is nothing else to say.”