“No, he didn’t. Can you sit someplace else? I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I could, but I won’t. What the hell did you tell Ricki? She won’t answer any of my calls.” He was Ricki’s boy toy before he ran off to Arkansas to join the Destroyers. Ricki was my best friend in Vegas.
“I told her the truth. That you’re a backstabbing jerk. But you don’t have to worry about her, because she’s with Romeo now. He’ll take much better care of her than you did.” I wasn’t entirely sure of that. Romeo was one of Alejandro’s minor Guardians, and kind of an asshole, too.
Jason shrugged. “Whatever. He can have her. You know, as much as I’m loving this little chat of ours, Puck sent me to find out how things are going. Meet me at lunch and we’ll find a quiet place for you to tell me what you’ve learned.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I wasn’t buying it. Not for a second. Puck didn’t trust Jason. Neither did Kai, but Kai must’ve told Jason I was here. I frowned. That meant that Kai told Jason more than he told me.
He dropped his voice. “You know, spying. I told Puck I’d be your handler.”
“You are so full of it. Puck told you no such thing because it’s not true. You are just trying to see if I’m loyal to Kai or not. Did he put you up to this? Because if he did, please tell him I don’t appreciate his sources. If he wants me to spill all my so-called ‘secrets,’ he’ll have to send someone I actually trust.”
He rolled his eyes and I realized that I’d never seen this side of him. He’d always been so friendly and open before he turned on me.
Tiff came in and sat right in front of me.
“I want more details on Kai. Dish.”
The scowl dropped from Jason’s face and he immediately turned on the charm.
“Tiff, you are looking hot today.”
She fluttered her eyelashes. “You know, you shouldn’t say things you don’t mean. It might give a girl the wrong idea.”
He leaned forward in his desk. “What if I want you to get the wrong idea?”
She blushed. Did he really like her or did he just do that because he knew she was talking to me?
The teacher walked back into the classroom and said, “Hello my lovelies, tell me about your weekend.” Tiff turned around to face the front of the room. Jason looked at me and winked. He was definitely hitting on her to get to me.
Game on.
There are a few rose bushes I turned to when things got bad at home. One of the most therapeutic was my rose called Alive. As I would work on it, my mantra would be, “It doesn’t matter that father is crazy, I’m still Alive.” I’d repeat it over and over again until I believed it. It’s planted right next to my Ruth Alexander rose. And she’s dead.
KAI TRIED TO KILL ME ON THE WAY HOME from school. Not really, but it sure looked like it, judging by the way he drove. Kai drove in the middle of the road and took the turns too fast. When I took the bus, this route took about an hour. With Kai, we’d make it in twenty minutes. If I didn’t puke first.
I waited until the river was in view before I confronted him.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Jason?” It came out hate-filled and bitter. I wasn’t careful with my energy and the car filled with the smell of burnt toast.
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. The road dipped and curved, I knew I should keep my eyes on the scenery outside of the car instead of Kai, but I wanted to see his reaction. He wrinkled his nose but didn’t answer. He was probably thinking how much he cold afford to tell me, and I didn’t blame him. I’d do the same thing.
“Honestly, I didn’t want to upset you. It’s a big school. I didn’t think you’d run into him.”
I snorted. “Right. You wanted me to think he was working for Puck instead of you.”
His knuckles went white, gripping the steering wheel. The car flew around the bend and raced down a hill. I came out of my seat when he went back up another hill. My stomach lurched and I grabbed the edge of the seat.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Sure you don’t. He came to me acting like he knew what Puck was up to and that I was somehow in on it. Except I had no idea what he was talking about.”
Maybe I was better at the spy thing than I originally thought. The lies were easier than I anticipated.
“Look, Jason is my best friend, but I honestly don’t know where his allegiances lie. I think he is true to only one person, himself. That makes him both stupid and dangerous. Stupid, because neither Puck nor I trust him anymore. Dangerous, because he can turn on either one of us at any time.” He paused and took another turn way too fast. “Whatever it was he thought you knew about Puck’s plans, it was good that you played dumb, even if you knew exactly what he was talking about.”
How did he always see right through me? This was complicated. Yes, I was here to spy on the Destroyers, which meant I was also spying on him, but I was also here to make sure he got back to the Guardians in one piece. I was against the Destroyers but not against Kai. But this wasn’t about me. Clever of him to say it that way. No, this was about Jason.
“Jason betrayed me last year. Delivered me to die at my mother’s hands. And you didn’t think it would be prudent for you to warn me that he was at our school,” I said.
His face softened and he reached for my hand. I let him hold it. I had to. He was already suspicious enough.
“I’m sorry.”
I thought about everything he said as I watched the farms rush by. “What do you mean he’s your best friend?” I asked without looking at him.
Kai hesitated. “We’ve been friends for a long time. We keep our friendship separate from politics, it’s the only way to maintain it. That’s the reason he’s not on my council. Well, that, and I don’t completely trust him.”
I snorted and decided to drop it. I didn’t believe him.
“Any other surprises?” I asked.
Kai drove around a bend and the creek came into view again. A Great Blue Heron stood in the shallows. That was always my favorite bird. We drove over the low water bridge and it flew up the stream, his huge wings dipping in the water as the car crunched onto the dirt road.
“Dwayne and Mr. Yerdin are still around. Dwayne’s keeping a low profile because of the loss of his power, but Mr. Yerdin is still high up in the ranks of the Destroyers. I have to keep him around or it will look suspicious. I’ll do my best to keep you away from him, though that may not be possible.”
I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t scared, at least not like he thought I’d be. Mr. Yerdin couldn’t hurt me. I’d keep my eyes open for him anyway, I didn’t want any surprises. Dwayne, on the other hand, made me a little nervous. I’d already taken his power. Physically he was stronger than me, which meant that if he found me alone he could do horrible things to me. Though I suppose I could still use my energy to influence him long enough to get away.
I looked down at my hands as Kai pulled into the garage.
“I’m going to go visit my garden before I go inside. Will you come get me when it’s dinner time?”
He nodded.
Once in the garden, I was immediately drawn to the Jason rose. It hadn’t changed much and still buzzed with energy. My mother lay dormant under my skin. I was scared to try again, the pain was too fresh, but eventually I would send her into the rose as well. I walked back to my travel roses. My grandmother and I planted this section together. She told stories of all the places where she’d been and planted seeds of wanderlust in my heart.
I heard a rustling behind me. I turned around, expecting Kai. Instead, my father ducked his head under the Ruth Alexander rose. I cringed. I didn’t want to be around him. Sometimes, it seemed like I forgot what he did and other times it was fresh. This was one of those moments where it was fresh.
I held his gaze. I needed him to know I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. He looked at me for a solid thirty seconds before dropping his gaze and speaking. “Kai said he had to take care
of a crisis. He left rather quickly. He asked me to let you know he’d be back later.”
My insides went cold at the thought of being alone with my father. I reminded myself that he wouldn’t hurt me.
“Okay,” I said and waited for him to leave.
“Your roses are beautiful. Do you remember that I used to come out here with you and your grandmother when you were young?”
I shook my head. My memories of the garden only involved my grandmother.
“We did. I planted this whole section here.” He pointed to the old English roses. He stopped and stuck his nose in a bloom. I had to resist the urge to protect the rose from him. “That was before you were born though. Your grandmother and I were once very close.”
I didn’t know how to handle this man. I could tell he wanted to mend things, maybe start over. What I didn’t know was how to come to terms with who he had been and who he was now. I took a few tentative steps towards him.
“I didn’t know that. What happened?”
He laughed a harsh laugh. “Your mother. I can feel her, you know, inside of you. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I had to make sense of it. You must think I’m a coward, but I’m scared of her.”
I shrugged. I didn’t know what I thought. I’d been too busy avoiding him to notice that he’d been doing the same thing.
“I can feel her too. I’m going to get rid of her. But I need to wait until Kai comes back.”
He shifted his feet. “I am sorry, you know. For everything. I wish I hadn’t done any of it. You didn’t deserve that.”
I forced a smile. “It’s going to take me some time.”
“I know. I hope I can earn your trust back.”
I shrugged. Eventually. Maybe.
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Are you hungry? I picked up some takeout right before you got home. Do you like Chinese?”
Did I really want to spend time with him? No. Though I couldn’t think of a good reason not to go with him. I nodded and followed him back into the house.
He set out two plates and sat across from me. The sweet smell of the Chinese takeout reminded me of Ginny. I missed her.
“Would you like to watch a movie? Kai said he bought several for me to watch during the day since I had nothing to do. But I can’t figure out how to work the DVD player.”
“What do you do all day?”
“Today I went to Lowes. I want to fix the hole in your wall and maybe give this whole place a fresh coat of paint. Your floor needs to be repaired as well.”
I didn’t respond. All those things had been broken by him.
“Mostly, I take a lot of walks, try to clear my head. I feel so abnormal. Your mother, she made me do horrible things, and I can’t figure out how to reconcile who I am with what I did. I know I wasn’t working of my own accord. There were times when I was lucid but I couldn’t stop myself. The things I did to you, those were the worst moments of my life. I always threw up afterwards. Then your mother would force me to go back and do it again. I was weak. I should’ve been strong for you. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t quite expect him to be so upfront about it. My throat ached and I had the urge to reach over and grab his hand. But I didn’t, because though I wanted to believe him and forgive him, all of that happened because he chose to be a Destroyer. If he were truly a good man, he’d never have made that decision. No one would ever have that kind of power over me again, because I’d never be a Destroyer.
“I can forgive the things you did to me. I’ve been influenced by both Guardians and Destroyers and I know how hard it is to resist. But it’s going to take a long time for me to forgive you for murdering my best friend.”
At my words, his head jerked up. “What are you talking about?”
I threw my napkin down and stood up, ready to flee. “You killed Ruth.”
“The red-haired girl?”
“Yes.” I narrowed my eyes and hoped he could see the hatred there.
He rubbed his chin and leaned back in his chair. “Did you say murder?”
“Yes. Her and her parents.”
He took a bite of his Mongolian Beef. He tugged at his ear and looked at me again.
“You’d think I’d remember something like that. My memories, they are fuzzy. But I don’t remember killing anyone. Are you sure I killed her?”
My mouth dropped open and I sat back down. My heart began to race. My thoughts went blurry. What if he didn’t kill her?
“The FBI said you did, but then the case got thrown out on a technicality. What do you remember?”
“I remember your mother told me to kill her. She left me alone with the girl while she took the parents out to the woods.”
He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temples. I leaned forward in my chair, eager to hear what came next.
He opened his eyes.
“I can’t remember anything else.”
Even though my dad was a vet, I never had pets growing up. Mother hated animals. That should’ve been the first clue that she wasn’t quite right. I made up for it in my garden. I had tiny yellow Canary Birds, dark pink Copy Cats, and Deep red Queen Bees. I talked to those roses often, and I named them all when I was a child. I can’t remember most of them now, but I named my Paws rose Little Bear.
I GAPED AT HIM. WAS IT POSSIBLE? Did he really not kill her? But if he didn’t, who did?
A car pulled into the driveway and seconds later the door slammed. Kai burst in, breathing hard.
His energy was going crazy. I couldn’t tell if he was in his Guardian or Destroyer energy, but I could taste sour grapes and visions of vipers swirled in my head. Kai was terrified.
“Naomi, we have to go now.”
“Why?” I put up a shield to block out his energy. Still, my skin crawled.
He grabbed my hand. “We don’t have time for questions. Let’s go.” He pulled me out of the chair. The chair tumbled over and clattered on the cracked tile.
I pulled away from him but he held fast. No matter the circumstances, no one pushed me around anymore. Ever.
“Let go of me.”
“You need to come with me. Now.”
“No, I don’t. You can’t come in here and drag me around like this. Let go of me.”
I tried once again to free my hand of his, but he wouldn’t let go.
“This is urgent.” His eyes bore into mine.
My father came up behind us. He towered over Kai. “You’ll let go of her, ya hear.”
Kai loosened his grip but didn’t let go. “I’m sorry, but this is crucial. It has to be now.” He shoulders dropped. He looked defeated.
I looked at my dad. “I’ll go with him. Why don’t you come with us?”
Whatever Kai needed would be dangerous and a small part of me recognized that my father would protect me if needed.
I climbed in the passenger seat and my dad hurried into the backseat. Kai sped out of the driveway, spraying gravel everywhere.
“Where are we going?”
“To a Destroyer’s house. You still can suck power from people, right? It’s not too bad for you?”
“I don’t know your definition of ‘too bad.’ Did you forget the blisters on my hands? That’s pretty bad.”
He squeezed the steering wheel so hard his knuckles went white. “I need you to put a Destroyer in his place.”
I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him.
“No. Kai, I won’t let you use me like that. I won’t be just some tool.” I wanted to get rid of evil Destroyers as much as he did, but my pride got in the way. Plus, getting rid of their power was excruciatingly painful.
He let out an exasperated sigh but kept his eyes on the twisty road. My stomach began to roll.
“Naomi, if I had any other option, I would use it. He can’t be allowed to do the things he’s doing. The more I see of what your mother allowed to go on, the more I realize what a huge task I’ve taken on. This is just wrong.”
I didn’t care what he fo
und. I didn’t come back to Arkansas to be his weapon.
“How do you normally deal with those who get out of control?”
“I haven’t had to, but my dad used to kill them. I don’t want to resort to that. Murder stains your soul. If I start doing that, I’ll never be able to go back to the Guardians.”
I closed my eyes. This was exactly what I came to do, right? Make sure that he got back. I had to do what he asked of me; otherwise this was all for nothing.
But there had to be another solution.
“What if you just have someone else do it?”
“What, kill them?”
I couldn’t believe I’d just asked him to do that. Who was I becoming? A Destroyer. The thought made my stomach knot. I gripped my ribs and leaned forward a little, keeping my eyes on the road.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“It would leave the same stain even if I didn’t physically do it myself. You can drain their power without physically harming them and the police can take care of the rest.”
I clenched and unclenched my fists. “I hate that all I am to you is someone who can do your dirty work.”
He stopped the car and pulled over next to a field. He put the car in park and turned to face me. I glanced at my dad in the back. He’d been completely quiet during our fight. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Not that his opinion mattered to me. Not really.
“I can’t fight you on this anymore. I absolutely need you to help me, but I also want you to be my girlfriend. I love you, that’s not going to change, but I’m sick of trying to prove it to you. You are either in or you are out. ”
I didn’t want to look into his eyes and see the earnestness there. It was more than I could handle. I was here to be his girlfriend. That was my purpose, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to come back. That’s what Puck wanted, and what I wanted. And I was doing a crappy job of it.
He placed his finger on my chin and forced me to look at him. “I’ll tell you what, do you want to run? Go live on an island in the Caribbean and sit on the beach every day? Live happily ever after? Say the word and I’ll change direction and head for the airport. Just you and me. Forever.”
The Thorn Chronicles-Books 1-4: Kissed, Destroyed, Secrets, and Lies Page 29