Elizabeth scooted the fourth chair under the small table in the center of the rug. She put a large, fluffy, stuffed gorilla in it and arranged a teacup in his hand. Setting a cup and saucer before each chair, she admired the pretty cream porcelain with pink roses. It was everything she’d wanted as a little girl. She couldn’t have it then, but it made her happy to give it to the girls now. In a year, Veronica would replace the gorilla and there would be four tiny girls enjoying the room.
Elizabeth backed toward the door, checking all the small touches that made it paradise. A fairyland they could grow up in, protected from the ugliness of the world for as long as possible. With a smile, Elizabeth opened the door and ushered in three little girls carefully covering their eyes, their identical dresses different shades of pink, blue, and green to match the walls. Each dress had a hem full of ruffled lace and sported a big satin bow at the small of their backs. Matching ribbons wrapped around their ponytails, bows flopping on top with the tails streaming down their backs.
The girls removed their hands from over their eyes and the room was suddenly full of high-pitched gasps and excited shrieks. Abby ran straight for the dollhouse, her blue dress and blond hair flapping behind her. Jessie ran for the bunk beds, quickly climbing on top so she could barrel down the slide, her green dress bouncing up over her knees. Sarah, in pink, sat next to the gorilla and pretended to pour tea for them both.
“I take it you like your new room.” Elizabeth laughed.
All three looked up, smiles blinding her with their brilliance. Then she was bowled over with a chorus of “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
“Thank you, Aunt Lizzie!”
“Pretty!”
“Your da bestest aunt, ever!”
After a quick hug from each of them, they abandoned her for the pleasures of their room. The sun hit the crystal sun catcher in the window and rainbows danced all around them. She’d never given a gift that had been so well received. One that made her happy just to watch the pleasure it brought. For someone with so little experience of a child’s likes and dislikes, she’d done well.
With a smile, Elizabeth reached for the door, opening it silently so the kids could play without distraction. As she backed out, she twisted the lock on the knob to keep the girls safe inside. They would be fine in the dream room she’d created. There was nothing here that threatened them. Pulling the door shut, Elizabeth was enveloped by a familiar darkness so inky black, no light could penetrate it.
Elizabeth had never approached the room of wishes and desires in jeans and a T-shirt before. They just weren’t as romantic as a softly flowing gown. Perhaps that was a good thing, though. Tonight was different. She was more lucid than normal, her logical mind awakened. Alex shouldn’t be there. She just had to make sure.
She’d left the kids safely playing in the room of childish fantasy, far from the room of sorrows. And they couldn’t leave, couldn’t wander. She’d locked the door, protecting them from the darkness of the tunnel and the terrifying things found there. There was no risk to them. Not like the risk to Alex.
Elizabeth stepped further into the blackness, her hand firmly pressing the rock walls. Her heart didn’t pound with fear while rushing past the monster. She’d bypassed him entirely for the first time since coming home. Just knowing that helped her breathe easier.
She’d planned to come and help her mom through a few tests and then return home. She’d never believed Mary Beth would actually be sick. She’d known forever lung cancer and cirrhosis of the liver were risks her mom had taken, but now her body was demanding payment in full for a lifetime of poor choices.
When she’d come home, she’d known her nieces and nephews were here, that she’d finally be able to meet them all. But that they’d all been abandoned by her siblings, well, that had been a surprise. That she would become fully responsible for them had been a shock. That she was still here months later was a staggering blow.
But she wasn’t here permanently. Because of that, there were certain decisions pertaining to her life that didn’t need to be based on the children. Her relationship with Alex was one of them. She’d find the help they needed another way. Alex didn’t deserve to be used when she had no intention of following through with anything else.
She’d told him good-bye at her front door tonight, but if she’d unconsciously drawn him to their chamber she’d give a different sort of good-bye to the man who’d held her through all her roughest patches. One last dream to end all their dreams.
Her hands didn’t shake with anticipation. Instead, she hesitated, her stomach tight with a mix of guilt and uncertainty. She’d told him not to dream of her. He’d never know the pain it had caused her just saying the words. The push-pull between them had tormented her for years, but she’d never managed to make a clean break of it.
But she needed to give him up. They couldn’t continue a half-relationship. He’d wished for it to be different for a long time, but she’d fooled herself into believing it didn’t really affect either of them. She’d been wrong and now it was time to take responsibility for creating their dream world and keeping the contact between them alive and real.
Elizabeth paused outside the door. Which would be worse, to open the door and see him waiting—or to not see him at all? She’d already given him up once in pursuit of her dream. Wasn’t that enough of a sacrifice? She grabbed the latch. This was her Alex. The secret desire she kept safe and hidden, so no one could spoil it. Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her forehead against the door.
She didn’t want to do this. Who would really know if she didn’t? She’d be returning to Seattle soon and he’d never know. She could fuzz his memories, alter the room before she left it. Maybe then the dreams wouldn’t affect him when he awakened. She wouldn’t have to lose him completely.
Elizabeth sniffed and forced back her tears. She would know. And if she continued the deception, would she be any better than her family? Would she be a person she could respect? Or even a person she liked?
She had to say good-bye. It was the best for both of them.
“I know you’re there. I can feel you, Elizabeth.”
She started at the sound of his voice, then the meaning of his words registered. He could feel her through the door? Elizabeth took a deep breath. Straightening her shoulders, she unlatched the door, stepped inside, and allowed it to swing silently shut behind her as her eyes adjusted to the candlelight.
Already, the atmosphere was thick, tense. She’d never felt so unsure of her welcome in this room. Did he want to be here? Did he want her there?
Alex’s back pressed flat against the headboard of their large, four-poster canopy bed. One long leg stretched in front of him and the other bent at the knee, supporting his elbow. With his brows drawn together, he appeared deep in thought. Not angry or hurt, but very, very serious.
His words low, Alex said, “Hey, lover.”
Elizabeth flinched. She was wrong. He was angry. Probably more so than she’d ever seen him before. “I’m sorry I—”
“Don’t.”
Hard and clipped, that one word pierced straight through her. Her eyes widened and she stared at him, already anticipating the pain of a fight. Dreams and fantasies weren’t supposed to be filled with arguments, but once she entered the room with him, it was all too real.
They’d built a relationship here, one that didn’t make sense anywhere else. She knew him and he knew her. This was Alex raw, still a nice guy, but so much more.
“Don’t give me more empty apologies, Elizabeth. They’re too easy for you.”
Alex moved in a sudden burst of speed. Now he stood in front of her, his dark green drawstring pants riding low on his hips. His body fit that of a martial arts instructor, his torso ridged and toned in a way that dried her mouth and twisted her stomach. Alex had always been defined, but he’d grown even more so since working out with his friend. He even seemed taller, though she knew he wasn’t. Her forehead had always come to his lips, the perfect height f
or him to kiss her tenderly when she was upset.
He didn’t look ready to kiss her, though. His glittery hazel eyes burned with fury. They intimidated her with their demand for answers. She stayed braced against the door, all words flying from her mind as she stared wordlessly at Alex. His dark hair was long and loose, falling to his shoulders, and so wet it was black. As though he’d just climbed from the shower before he’d fallen asleep.
“My apologies are never empty or easy. We need to be over,” she whispered, mournful. He looked so handsome, it was no wonder she’d always wanted him. Now his beautiful eyes narrowed, the humor that usually lit them from deep within was gone.
He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t work that way. These are my dreams. You are what I want even when I try not to.”
She knew the dreams were real. He didn’t. He thought he was dreaming all the things he wanted to say to her. But his words, his feelings, were true and he meant them, so she continued. “It’s unfair and it sucks, but you need to find someone outside your dreams.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried? But there’s always this feeling that I’m settling for second best. That if I hold out just a little longer, I’ll get what I really want.” His hands closed around her upper arms, determined to keep her there. Desperation twisted the lines of his mouth. “I always return to you.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “You deserve far more than I can ever give.”
“You can give. You just won’t. And you never tell me why.” The pain of that filled his eyes and stole her breath. She hated when he was angry, but it killed her when she hurt him. The sad thing was … she always hurt him. “Why is the answer no?”
Elizabeth tried to tell him. The words were on the tip of her tongue, ready to spill free, but they weren’t right. She couldn’t explain adequately without hurting him even more. How could she look him in the eyes and simply say: I will never choose you because I love you.
In what world would that even make sense?
She held out her hands in supplication. “I can’t risk it. I’m sorry.”
Alex released her. “Risk what? Tell me and let’s decide together if it’s a fair bet or not. Because ending the dreams won’t change a damn thing. I’ll still love you.”
Elizabeth clasped her hands over her heart, holding his declaration inside where it filled her chest like a deep, satisfying breath. More than anything, she wanted to return the words, declare her love as loudly and openly, but those words lodged thick in her throat. “We just can’t be, Alex.”
“Why?” Alex wasn’t a huge man, but when every sinewy muscle, ridge, and vein stood out on his bare arms, he seemed plenty big. He backed farther away and his hands and arms moved in wide expansive gestures. His voice boomed off the walls, filled with his frustration, incomprehension, and anger.
“Because of a houseful of kids? Let’s have more! A broken-down house? It’s a lifetime project. If you enjoy it, it’s never a burden. Because you have a little family drama mixed in with a lot of tragedy? This is life and life is what I want to share with you. Do you really think those things would drive me away?”
Elizabeth closed her eyes and swallowed. If only that was all. “No, Alex. You’re probably the only man in the world who would stay.”
“Then what’s wrong with me?”
Her eyes widened with surprise. “It isn’t you. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Then she lowered her lashes, needing at least a semblance of protection from his fierce expression. “But if I did choose you, and you ever wanted to leave, you wouldn’t be able to. I would find you. I would keep you.”
Within the space of a breath, he was there again, looming over her. His hand was beside her head, his mouth inches from hers. His determined gaze bored into her. “Then where do I sign up?”
Elizabeth blinked, unable to look away. “You don’t understand.”
“I do.”
She shook her head. “No, Alex. This is it. This is good-bye.”
“No.” He shook his head. “This isn’t the end of anything. One minute you want to devour me and the next you push me away. You’re confused, Elizabeth, but I know what I want.”
How had this gone so wrong? She pushed at him, but he didn’t budge. “There’s too much you don’t know, Alex.”
Alex captured her hands and held them on either side of her head. There was no humor in his face at this moment. Pure male stubbornness sharpened his features. “It doesn’t matter anymore. First thing tomorrow morning, I’m coming back.”
She opened her mouth to argue more, but he kissed her. Not a gentle, seductive brush of lips against lips, but full throttle. Like he was a race car driver out to win the Indy 500. Her toes curled in her shoes, then her shoes were gone and her bare feet clenched against the stone floor.
Alex released her hands and she immediately slid them around his shoulders. She still wanted to say good-bye, but it was so much nicer to say it this way. She couldn’t deny herself one last pleasure. When he lifted her up, her legs squeezed around him and her jeans and T-shirt disappeared so there was nothing to hinder him. Alex tugged down his sweatpants and pressed the broad head of his cock where she was wettest. Elizabeth clenched her fists in his hair and slid down on Alex until her body held every inch of him.
Still they kissed, passionate and demanding. Her lips felt swollen and chafed. Already, deep inside, she quivered with that high-pitched ache that built with each thrust of his hips, each groan that vibrated from his chest. This was the moment that she could freeze in time. When he was deep and hard inside her and they were the closest they could possibly be. This was what she wanted to remember.
Elizabeth clenched tight and screamed her orgasm into his mouth as Alex rode her each step of the way. Only when she’d finished did he release her lips and bury his face in her neck. Adjusting her hips for maximum depth, he drove in forcefully, fiercely. She was so creamy and prepared, she loved it. Pleaded for it. Urged him to possess her as thoroughly as he ever would.
She almost missed it when his sharp teeth pressed into her skin, not deep enough to draw blood, but marking her as his all the same.
Elizabeth sprawled on the bed, naked and spent and alone. She’d finally sent Alex away. Why couldn’t he accept good-bye? She wasn’t confused. She knew exactly what she wanted. She also knew why she couldn’t have it. Unfortunately for them both, she had to end it.
Elizabeth rose, dressed, and shook the sheets over the bed until the dark satin drifted down, settling gently into place. Blowing out the candle, she edged over to the door, slipped through to the corridor beyond, and pulled it closed behind her.
A key settled into her closed fist. Running her fingers over the door, she found the lock. Elizabeth inserted the key and firmly turned it. The click that accompanied it was so final, so devastating, she sagged against the steel, trembling from the numbing cold but unable to leave. Not yet.
Time passed as she knelt at the door, her forehead pressed against the cool metal. She couldn’t tell how long it took her to notice a presence behind her. Her monster was back.
“Hello, Daddy.”
“Hello, Elizabeth,” he rambled in a voice that always made her quake inside. “Is he gone?”
“Yes. He’s safe.”
“That’s probably the best—for now.” His large, hard hand came to her shoulder and a squeak of fear escaped her lips. “I have something to show you.”
Elizabeth licked her lips and shook her head. Why did he insist on showing her his visions? There was never anything she could do about them. Never a way to prevent them or change them. There was too much pain inside her already for her to accept more. “No, Daddy. Not tonight.”
“You must see.” His tone was implacable. “This is too important to ignore. You must see it now or it’ll be too late.”
“Why? Nothing will change. Nothing ever does.”
“The visions I show you are necessary to prepare you, Elizabeth. But this one is different.”
“No!
” Scrambling to her feet, Elizabeth ran.
Chapter Six
Her monster followed, his steps booming strikes of thunder. Her tennis shoes—thank God she’d worn them tonight—whispered against the stone floors, squeaking as she turned corners. The steps behind her never halted. Never slowed.
Angry heat blasted her back, growing hotter with each pursuing step, but she refused to give in. This was what made her father a monster. She could never escape him or the doom he foresaw.
But this was her mind, damn it. Elizabeth veered off toward an uncharted area. As he followed, she erected doors to block his path. Steel barriers she could shut as she ran past.
They slowed him, but not much. No matter how fast she ran, she couldn’t escape him. She couldn’t breathe and her body ached from the lack of oxygen. Her steps grew clumsy. It was time to make a stand. She skidded to a halt, nearly running straight into a dead end. Hard stone surrounded her. There were no candles, but a glow brightened the room.
Visualizing ten thick steel doors with no space between them, Elizabeth shut and barred them all, soldering each shut. He’d have to fight through all of it to reach her—which he began to do.
With each pounding strike against the doors, her stomach clenched and she wanted to vomit. Elizabeth pushed her hair out of her face with shaky hands. She could only pray the toddlers remained happily playing in their fantasy room so they wouldn’t wake in bed beside her, hearing her nightmarish moans.
Elizabeth leaned back against the walls, her knees shaking. The doors had to hold him, because she had nothing left.
“Stop, Silas.” Draven grabbed his arm and held him back. “I know you want to save her, but you can’t. She knows who stalks her. He is her father.”
Silas eyed the fallen Seraph, watching him peel away thick steel doors as if they were nothing more than aluminum foil. “He’s going to hurt her.”
Cursed Page 7