“Yes. Always.”
“But Geoffrey was dead and he can’t die.”
“Yes, he can, if his mind believes it.”
“The last one he showed Elizabeth held not only the possibility for change, but also a guide.”
“She is at a crossroads. We should take comfort that he seems to be fighting for the best outcome for this family. Whatever direction he is ultimately working toward, his efforts coincide with ours for now.”
“We need to talk to him.”
Draven nodded in agreement. “We’ll have to wait until she dreams again.”
Chapter Seven
Elizabeth blinked the sleep from her eyes. Nine o’clock. She couldn’t regret it, though. After so many long and involved dreams, she’d really needed the extra two hours of deep, dreamless sleep.
At least she didn’t smell fire or hear any screams. What the hell. She’d go ahead and make her bed and take a shower before dressing. A half-hour later, she hurried into an old pair of jeans and a T-shirt from her high-school days and put on socks and shoes, having learned the hard way that walking around barefoot in this house could be hazardous to her health.
Pausing at her mother’s vanity, she swept her wet hair up into a ponytail. She had too much to do to have it in her face all day. But as she held it up with one hand and wrapped the band with the other, she saw something on her neck. Teeth marks with faint bruises around them. Alex had bitten her.
Elizabeth fumbled for her mother’s foundation and smoothed it over the bite until the marks disappeared and the edges of the makeup were smooth.
The second floor was strangely silent as she headed for the stairs. Dare she hope the other kids had slept in, too? Maybe she could have the kitchen ready for breakfast before anyone other than the toddlers woke up. Get a head start on the day. She grinned and tiptoed down to the living room. In the distance, she heard Veronica crying and Shelly trying to soothe her.
“See, told you she was up. We can turn the volume on now.”
Elizabeth’s shoulders slumped as she took in the twins sitting in front of the TV, manipulating the video game controllers. So close. “What are you two doing?”
“Just playing, Aunt Lizzie.”
“Thank you for playing quietly. I’d appreciate if you keep that down while everyone else is in bed.”
“Yes, Aunt Lizzie,” they chorused sweetly.
She smiled tightly and headed toward the kitchen. At least the kitchen would be clean and breakfast easier to make. She swept in through the doorway, then stopped in shock.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Tommy supervised the three toddlers making their own bowls of cereal while Teddy poured the milk. Which explained why three boxes of cereal were open and scattered across the table while the milk lay precisely at the halfway mark in each bowl. She forced a smile.
“Thank you, boys, for getting a head start on breakfast.” She turned away from the devastation of the table to the sink, already full of dirty dishes. She had washed them all just last night. But the memory of that was all she had to comfort her.
Thinking quickly, or as quickly as her sleep-deprived mind allowed, she ducked into the laundry room and shut the door. It was dark and quiet, making the sounds of the house distant and mellow. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, fighting off exhaustion. Coffee would definitely be added to the morning’s agenda. She didn’t always need it, but today she would. Elizabeth took a deep breath and flipped on the light. She stared in disbelief.
The piles of unwashed clothes had grown exponentially. At this rate, she could do laundry all weekend and still have nothing for the kids to wear to school on Monday. She turned and banged her head on the door.
“Aunt Lizzie! Alex and a strange guy are breaking down the front gate!” David yelled from the living room.
Shit. She needed coffee and quiet. Her vision had been all about making wise decisions, but at the moment she couldn’t decide something as simple as using cream or milk in her coffee.
She straightened with a sigh and pulled the door open. She wasn’t ready to face Alex. And why was he here when it was dream Alex who had said he’d come back? Alex didn’t remember the dreams completely when he woke, did he?
What had made the real Alex return? Did it have anything to do with the vision her dad said he’d shown him? Elizabeth sped through the house, tripping over toys and newspapers and shoes and coats before she reached the front door.
She couldn’t send him away yet. Assuming he hadn’t called Child Protective Services on her and the stranger with him wasn’t a social worker. She’d already had enough grief from CPS since her mom had gone to the hospital.
Were they going to threaten to separate the kids yet again? Really, she knew the house and everything was a horrible mess, but she was getting a system down. She could take care of the kids. Elizabeth pulled open the front door. She still didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t send him away yet, but it might become the best choice, so she couldn’t wrap her arms around him and refuse to let him go either.
Alex and another man knelt at the gate, a toolbox on the sidewalk next to them. Alex looked up at her and smiled, then stood and walked up the sidewalk, his stride confident.
Elizabeth looked from him to the big blond man and beyond, to her SUV parked in front of her house, healthy, whole, and apparently functional. She opened her mouth, then closed it, words deserting her. She appreciated it. God, how she appreciated it. And now, as the blond man demonstrated, her gate latched for the first time in months.
Did Alex think she could afford the equipment to fix up the house and car? Well, she couldn’t. Not anymore. Her money was gone and paid time off was dwindling fast. Sadness welled inside her as she realized how much she could have used this help, and could have paid for the time and materials, just a few short months ago. But now …
“Good morning, Beth Ann. How are you?” Alex smiled, his eyes sparkling. She smiled back automatically.
“Good morning, Alex. What are you up to?” His eyes ran over her and she knew she must look like crap. A shower could only do so much. It wouldn’t take away swollen eyes. She brushed hair from her cheek; it was probably frizzing all over her head.
“We brought back your Durango and noticed the gate needed a little help.” Alex grinned, charming as ever. But his eyes were cautious, treading carefully.
“I appreciate you doing that, Alex, but really …” She shook her head, trying to keep her tone light and ignore the sinking of her stomach. There was no way she could get through this without sounding either ungrateful or pathetic. “How much do I owe you for the tires?”
He stilled. His gaze narrowed and his grin froze in place. “Don’t worry about it. I’m happy to do what I can for an old friend.”
She frowned, crossing her arms to hold in her discomfort. She was grateful, but she couldn’t let him keep doing stuff she couldn’t pay him back for. It went against her nature. “Alex, really, I appreciate—”
“I don’t want your gratitude, Beth Ann.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke firmly. “What, exactly, do you want?”
“I just want to help.” He looked entirely too innocent.
Her chin lifted. “I am quite capable of taking care of my family on my own.”
“I know that. But I thought a little help couldn’t hurt.”
She stared straight at him. “You’re wrong, then. A little help can hurt. A lot.”
His eyes narrowed. “I don’t expect anything in return.”
“Good. Because I don’t have anything to give in return.”
He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. She copied him. She really didn’t want to fight with him.
“Look.” He glanced up at her, his charming grin back in place. “I have five months vacation. I need something to do. have pity.”
“So we’re your vacation charity project? No. thanks.”
“No! That’s not what I meant.” He bounced up the steps and reac
hed for her arm.
She jerked back. Prophecy or no, she would not become a spineless jellyfish with no pride or sense of self, content to “let a man handle it”. “Thank you for what you’ve done, but I don’t think we need your services anymore.”
“Elizabeth!”
She ignored him and turned to the door.
“Elizabeth, it’s not pity. It’s not charity. I want to do this. I want to be here.”
She snorted and said bitterly, “No one wants to be here.”
Nine little gasps sounded behind the partially open front window. She winced and looked at her shoes. She hadn’t meant it that way. No matter how she’d meant it, though, her pride was not worth hurting them. Elizabeth pursed her lips, waited a beat, then turned back to him. “I don’t have the money to pay you back.”
His face was solemn, earnest. “Of course not. Your job is in Seattle, not here. How can you earn a paycheck?”
She had vacation time and emergency funds, though they were long gone. She had also just wrapped up a long-distance project, but her time, and therefore her pay, were reduced. Elizabeth shrugged.
Alex glanced behind him at the other man. “I might be able to help you out with that paycheck. I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Geoffrey. He needs a specially designed research search engine for his personal library.”
Elizabeth glanced at Geoffrey and raised her brow skeptically. “You need a library catalog?”
Geoffrey’s focused gaze met hers, emanating a calm sense of tranquility. “My needs are a bit more demanding than that. Perhaps we could discuss it inside?”
Elizabeth paused, considering, but dream visions aside, she did need money. She also liked her first impression of Geoffrey. He didn’t push for action, just waited patiently. Only after she nodded and opened the door for them did Elizabeth remember one of the graves in her vision had belonged to Geoffrey.
Which meant Geoffrey’s life hinged on a choice she would make. He was now her responsibility, too.
As soon as they walked through the door, the kids swarmed around the two men, dragging them inside. She followed, cringing at the toys and books and clutter that made the house look filthy no matter what she did to clean it up.
“Do you want to see my room?” Tommy asked without his typical cynicism.
“Why would they want to see that pigsty?” Shelly scoffed.
“No, they need to see my dollhouse,” Sarah insisted.
The children chattered nonstop at both of the men and swept them upstairs on the grandest tour the house would ever see. Elizabeth watched the men go, glad they’d taken everything in stride. They’d be able to talk in peace once the kids had time to bask in their attention.
Elizabeth headed back to the laundry room to get a load started. Afterward she’d start the coffee and get the dining room ready for an impromptu business meeting. A library catalog? She shook her head. It was a flimsy excuse for giving her a job. Why would anyone need to organize their Stephen King collection that bad? In the end, though, a job was a job.
“You changed your mind.” Shelly leaned against the laundry room door, watching her.
Elizabeth finished stuffing the machine full. “You were right. I made the right decision for me, but not necessarily for anyone else.”
“And now you’re sure?”
Was she sure? Elizabeth answered honestly. “No. Not really.”
But she knew her misplaced pride could be dangerous. The gutter could fall at any moment. The rotting, sagging fence would most likely fall over with the next stiff wind, exposing even more rusty nails. And the swing set looked more threatening than fun as it listed to one side. And that was just outside. There was so much more inside that needed to be done.
She’d watched the kids’ faces over the last few months as they’d faced their grandmother’s illness: hopeless, angry. They struggled so hard to develop a layer of protective armor nothing could pierce. What was the most important thing for her to teach them? Pull yourself up by your bootstraps or don’t cut off your nose to spite your face? Be strong and independent or know when to accept help?
Or was the real lesson to show them there was an adult who wouldn’t run from responsibility? One who wasn’t selfish and self-centered? Who didn’t put their addictions above their children? One who would step up to the fucking plate and get the job done?
“No one can afford for me to be too proud. At the very least, I know that part is right.” Elizabeth grabbed a handful of clothes and separated them into piles.
“I thought it was pride, but it wasn’t. It was self-respect or something, right?”
Elizabeth sighed. “You’re giving me whiplash.” Like she needed to second-guess her motivations.
Shelly looked away and shrugged, tilting her feet until she balanced on the sides, stretching her ankles in a way that looked painful. “It’s just … I just … didn’t get it at first.”
“No, you were right. It was pride more than self-respect.”
“No. It’s because you’re just not a whore.”
Elizabeth choked and spluttered. “What?”
Shelly crossed her arms defensively. “Girls are one of three types. Sluts ’cause they like it, victims ’cause they didn’t want it, or whores ’cause they want something from it. Money, marriage, things.”
Elizabeth’s brows drew together. Shelly’s view of the world was … interesting, half-steeped in wisdom and half in a child’s black and white view. But she’d have to make sure it didn’t hurt more than it helped. “And if she says no, what is she?”
Shelly met Elizabeth’s gaze for a few seconds, her eyes sparkling. “Smart.”
Elizabeth laughed then cleared her throat. “Okay, so now you’re saying I shouldn’t accept Alex’s offer of help because then I’d be a whore?”
Shelly squirmed. “Well, sorta. I mean, he’ll want sex and you’ll give it to him or he might not help.”
“What if there’s no sex involved?”
Shelly frowned, then she scoffed. “Like that could happen.”
Elizabeth shook her head, biting back a smile. “I think we need his help too much to turn it down. I won’t whore for it, though. Promise.”
Alex entered the kitchen just as Elizabeth hung up the phone and grabbed a bottle of aspirin. She scowled, as if the news from her conversation hadn’t pleased her. Or maybe the headache came from having to face him again. She really hadn’t wanted him here. Not his presence, not even his help, though it was clear how much she needed it.
Judging from the reaction of the kids, they’d played a big part in her decision. Not that they exactly wanted him here. The littlest ones might want him, but he could clearly see the wariness in the eyes of the older kids. They liked him, but they knew the drill.
Despite that sad fact, though, he still wanted to be here, to earn their trust and friendship. It was strange, but from the moment he’d walked through the gate that morning he’d felt an all-encompassing sense of belonging. This was his home. He just needed to convince them of that.
No sooner had Elizabeth swallowed the pills and lowered the glass of water, than the phone rang and she snatched it up again. She yanked open a drawer and pulled out a pen and small pad of paper. Scribbling furiously, she said, “Yes, sir. Now is a great time.”
Alex grinned. Geoffrey had a job offer, but until they had time to explain it and she had time to consider it and agree, she had a career she couldn’t ignore. Besides, Geoffrey had disappeared, checking out the work Alex had done on the bathrooms last night, no doubt. Elizabeth tore off the paper, handed it to Shelly, and sent Alex an apologetic grin on her way out of the kitchen.
Alex watched Elizabeth “yes, sir” her way into the dining room then glanced at the note in Shelly’s hand. “What does it say?”
Shelly sighed. “It says, ‘Grandma cancelled again’ and ‘My boss is on the phone’. ‘Keep the kids quiet and occupied for a while, please.’ ”
“Cancelled again?”
; Shelly wadded up the paper and tossed it into the trash a few feet away. “She’s scared. She knows she’s failed us in a lot of ways over the years. She’s terrified of seeing us, of possibly scarring us for life. Seeing her hooked up to tubes, pale, bald, and shrunk to bitty bits won’t be easy for the younger kids.”
“You’re not afraid of that?” Alex examined her, knowing the answer before she spoke it. This wasn’t a teen who’d hide from life.
Shelly shook her head. “She needs to see us. She needs to know we forgive her.”
“She probably knows, Shelly.”
“No. She doesn’t.” She looked at him, her eyes flat, serious. “Because some of us haven’t.”
Alex followed her gaze into the dining room where Elizabeth talked on the phone with her boss. Her laptop sat on the dining table, a laser mouse to the right and a portable printer to her left. Her hands were steady, her eyes focused as she stared at the screen and typed. “She will, Shelly. She’s not a person to leave things unfinished.”
“If you say so.”
Alex grinned at her and rubbed his hands together. Now was the time to prove how much Elizabeth needed his help. “Can you help me get everyone outside?”
“Sorry.” Shelly shook her head and headed for a chipped white door that apparently led to the basement. “Gotta wake Veronica first. I’ll be back soon as I can.”
Alex nodded to her departing back. He’d just have to recruit some of the others to meet him and Geoffrey outside.
“Give that back! No one said you could play.” The angry voice reached easily into the kitchen.
Alex headed to the living room, a grin stretching across his face. Clearly they were ready to be riled up, but it needed to be done outside so Elizabeth could have the peace needed for her call. What was the most effective way to rid them of their excess energy? Run them ragged? That he could do. It would postpone the talk with Geoffrey, but they weren’t in a hurry. In fact, they were both right where they needed to be.
Alex looked around and shook his head. How did she do it? How was the house even in as good a shape as it was? The kids were clothed, fed, and except for minor arguments, happy. They weren’t even her kids. Beth Ann amazed him with her generosity and compassion. There were too many people that would flat-out refuse the responsibility that had been thrust on her. They would simply hold up their hands and say, “Not my problem.”
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