Barely Breathing

by Brenda Rothert

  Cori started clearing the table when we were done, laying her hand on mine as I picked up my plate to take it to the sink.

  “I’ve got it,” she said.

  “No, I don’t mind helping. You cooked, so I’ll wash the dishes.”

  “Why don’t we do them together?”

  I nodded, getting the vibe again. Standing side by side with Cori at her sink didn’t feel right. She’d say something light and bump her hip against mine. Look up at me and smile for no reason.

  This was something Viv and I did, and I felt a stabbing sense of guilt over being here with Cori right now.

  But it was fucking dishes. Washing and rinsing and drying. I needed to stop being such a pussy about it.

  Brooklyn walked into the kitchen wearing a backpack and carrying a pillow.

  “Kennedy’s mom’s here. See you tomorrow.” She wrapped her arms around Cori’s waist in a hug and then did the same to me.

  “Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.”

  “Bye,” I said, wondering where she was going.

  “Bye, baby.” Cori kissed Brooklyn and cupped her cheek. “Be safe.”

  “We’ll be at Kennedy’s house the whole time, Mom.” Brooklyn rolled her eyes.

  “Still.”

  Brooklyn glanced at me one more time, smiling. When she left, the kitchen got too quiet. I was washing the dishes and Cori was standing so close to me her hip rested against the side of my upper thigh. I’d scooted down as far as I possibly could, but she’d just followed.

  “Is she leaving for the night?” I asked Cori.

  “Mmm-hmm. Sleepover at her friend’s house.” She dried off her hands and turned around, resting her hands against the counter and pushing her chest out. “Want a beer?”

  “Nah, I’m good. I need to head into work pretty quick. Saturday nights are crazy for us.”

  I rinsed the last dish and set it in the strainer. Cori passed me the towel in her hands, her eyes locked on mine.

  “Are you any good with plumbing?” she asked. “I’ve got a dripping sink in the bathroom. If not, that’s okay, I just thought you might be able to save me a hundred bucks on a plumber.”

  I knew a thing or two about plumbing, but I was not crawling under her fucking sink. Brooklyn was gone and I didn’t want to be here alone with Cori.

  “I’m shit with plumbing,” I said. “But I can send a plumber over and cover the bill.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” She smiled up at me. “Why don’t we sit down and have a drink?”

  Her hand darted out and she was rubbing my crotch before I even saw it coming.

  “Whoa,” I said, shifting my hips until her hand fell away.

  “We’re all alone now.”

  “Yeah, but . . .”

  “Don’t act shy, Kane. I know you. We fucked in a crowded club once.”

  I sighed deeply. “That was ten years ago, Cori.”

  “It was the best sex I’ve ever had. And I didn’t want things to end with us. I still feel something, don’t you?”

  “I feel . . . really grateful that you’ve done such a great job with Brooklyn.”

  She edged closer, wrapping her hand around my dick and licking her lips. “You know you want it, too. I’ve still got my pussy shaved and my clit ring in. Remember how much you liked that?”

  “Cori, don’t.”

  She smiled triumphantly. “You’re getting hard. Let’s go into my bedroom.”

  I took a step back. “We can’t do that, no.”

  “We can. Come on. My pussy is so wet for you, Kane.”

  I held my breath, unsure how to respond. It wasn’t Cori’s pussy I was thinking of right now, but Viv’s. Her tight pussy with soft, dark trimmed hair was the only one I fantasized about these days. But one wrong move with Cori and I wouldn’t get to see Brooklyn as much.

  “I’m seeing someone,” I reminded her.

  “It can be our little secret.” She laid a palm on my chest. “I’m lonely, Kane. Working and being a single mom doesn’t leave me any time for dating.”

  “Like I said, I can help with Brooklyn. You know, give you some time to yourself. You sure as hell deserve it.”

  Her smile was sad. “I just thought . . . who better than you? We never got to see if we could’ve had something long-term before.”

  “I fucked everything up. I know that.”

  Cori moved her hand up my chest to my shoulder. “But now . . . maybe we can get a second chance.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but she silenced me with a finger on my lips. “Just think about it. Please. I don’t know how long you’ve been seeing this woman, but you and I have something more important than whatever you have with her. Brook could finally have a chance at a family with both her parents.”

  “I have to go,” I said, taking another step back.

  She pouted at me and I went straight to the living room and out the front door. I’d done nothing wrong, but I still felt wracked with guilt as I started my car and drove home.

  Viv. Viv. Viv.

  She was all I could think of. I didn’t call her my girlfriend or significant other or any of that shit, but in my heart that was what she was. We didn’t need to have a talk about whether we were seeing other people, because the force that pulled us together left no room for doubt.

  Cori had grabbed my cock and propositioned me. It was something I should tell Viv. But if I did, she wouldn’t want me coming over to see Brooklyn anymore. I couldn’t stomach the thought of my daughter thinking I didn’t want to see her. Not ever again.

  I’d never cheat on Viv. Wouldn’t even consider it. She was mine, which meant I was hers. Being true to her was all that really mattered. I didn’t want to tell her something that would only upset her.

  Viv

  It was six-thirty-two PM when Henley finally texted me back. I picked up the phone from the bed, where I was watching a movie, and glared at the screen.

  Henley: Have dinner with me?

  Me: As long as I can bring a pen and you’ll sign the papers.

  Henley: As you wish. I’ll send a car to pick u up.

  I didn’t change out of my jeans and t-shirt. Instead I slipped into my shoes, grabbed my bag which had the papers in it and went downstairs to wait for my ride.

  A driver in a black SUV picked me up and drove me to an upscale restaurant. I was led to an outer courtyard decorated with fountains and potted plants, where Henley waited alone at a table. Secluded by walls made of climbing greenery, the location was private and quiet. Perfect for signing divorce papers.

  “Mr. Cartwright,” I said crisply.

  “Miss Marceau.” His cocky grin matched my expectations of him. He was attractive in a pretty way: smooth and polished with a lean, muscled frame and a headful of light brown hair with a lock falling across his forehead.

  “We’ll start with some wine,” Henley said to our server. “Merlot.”

  “No,” I cut in. “We’ll start with your signature. I already missed my flight home and my whole weekend was shot by coming out here for this nonsense.”

  He cocked a brow at me, looking amused. “Bill me accordingly, Miss Marceau.”

  “Don’t worry, I will.”

  He reached for the papers in my hand and the pen I offered.

  “Let’s have that wine now,” he said to the server. “To celebrate.”

  “Very good, sir.” The server nodded and left.

  “So.” Henley looked up from the page he was signing and studied me. “What excitement am I keeping you from this weekend?”

  “At the moment, dinner with my boyfriend.”

  His grin was cocky. “Ah. I can see it now. Vivian and her corporate lawyer boyfriend discussing case law over a vegan meal, followed by a documentary and twenty minutes of missionary sex.”

  “Not exactly.” I checked the page he’d just signed. “Initial on that line with the giant yellow arrow sticker.”

  “No?” He gave me a questioning glance. “Enlighten me, then.”


  I sighed heavily. “Mr. Cartwright, I rarely speak out of turn with my clients, but I have to say I’m a bit pleased for your soon to be ex-wife’s good fortune.”

  “She’s making out quite well, isn’t she? I should’ve hired a better lawyer.”

  The guy dripped with arrogance. I ignored his comment and also the glass of wine the server poured for me.

  “Surely you aren’t suggesting I’m anything but God’s gift to the fairer sex,” Henley said lightly.

  “I’m pretty sure God wouldn’t gift us with someone so arrogant, inconsiderate and immature.”

  He laughed. “Ah, Vivian. I like you.”

  “I can’t say the feeling is mutual.”

  “So this boyfriend of yours . . . I’ve got him pegged all wrong, then? I picture you with a fairly spineless man who lets you call the shots.”

  “Picture whatever you’d like.”

  His gaze took on a new intensity. “You should give a man with some balls a shot. Find out how good it can feel to be submissive.”

  “My boyfriend would kick your ass if he knew you’d even looked at me, let alone made a comment like that.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah. I really wish you two could meet because I’d truly enjoy seeing you piss yourself.” He’d signed the final line, and I snatched the papers away and returned them to the folder, filing it in my messenger bag. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”

  “You’re leaving me to eat dinner alone?”

  “Figured you’d like to spend time with your favorite person,” I said, picking up my pen from the table.

  “I can’t even keep the pen?” His shit eating grin made my blood boil.

  “Good evening, Mr. Cartwright. Thanks in advance for the indulgent dinner I’ll order from room service at the hotel.”

  He laughed and sipped his wine. “I look forward to seeing you soon, Miss Marceau.”

  “I can’t say the same.”

  I turned and left, the server avoiding eye contact with me as I walked past. I couldn’t wait to book a flight home and get back to Kane. Henley reminded me of all the men I’d wasted time on before finding my one and only.

  Viv

  THE CAB RIDE TO THE club gave me a chance to freshen up my makeup and dab on a touch of the perfume Kane liked. I was tired from my weekend of travel, but I wasn’t waiting one more day to see him.

  Part of my fatigue was caused by missing him. I needed his arms around me. Nothing relaxed me like nestling against his hard chest and breathing in his cedar and leather smell. And after my frustrating weekend of getting the runaround from Henley, I needed to relax in a bad way.

  When the cab cruised to a stop at the curb, I paid the driver, got out and saw Kane walking toward me.

  “Hey, babe.” He pulled me into his arms and held me close. “Missed you.”

  “I missed you, too. I’m so frazzled. I just need to be alone with you tonight.”

  “I’ve got a suite ready for us upstairs.” He put an arm around my waist and led me into the club.

  Rosie was working the door tonight, and he nodded at me. “Hey, Viv.”

  “Hey, Rosie.”

  Despite his giant, tough-guy exterior, Rosie was a super sweet guy. Kind of like someone else I knew.

  Kane took my hand and wove through the densely packed crowd of people. We went up the wide stairway and into a suite. As soon as he closed the door, the sound of pounding music vanished.

  “Oh, Kane.” I eyed the spread of food on the table. Bread and butter, salads, a bottle of chilling wine and . . . I opened the stainless dome covering one of two bowls on the candlelit table for two . . . the spicy soup I’d missed the other night. “I’m starving. This looks amazing.”

  His lips curved up in a smile. “So let’s eat. I’m starving, too.”

  I sat down across from him and sighed deeply, finally able to relax.

  “Does this mean you can slow down with work?” he asked, holding out the bread basket so I could take a piece. “You’ve been killing yourself lately.”

  “I got the signature I needed, so I’m close to the end. That client will get billed something like twenty grand for me having to come chase him down like that.”

  “Fuckin’ dumbass.”

  “You have no idea. But enough about that. How was your dinner with Brooklyn?”

  He looked down at his plate. “Good. She did a cheer for me and I saw her spelling test on the fridge. She got ‘em all right. How’d I end up with such a smart kid?”

  “You’re pretty smart yourself.”

  “Yeah, for a felon.”

  I finished chewing my bread and then took the glass of wine he’d poured me, enjoying a long sip.

  “First of all, don’t disparage yourself. You are smart. And also, some of the most intelligent people in the history of the human race have been criminals.”

  “I miss your bed,” he said.

  “What’s with the random subject change?”

  He shrugged. “I know you’re exhausted, but I want to come sleep at your place when I leave here.”

  I took another drink of my wine and smiled at him over my glass. “I had a key made for you, so you can let yourself in now.”

  “Damn right I will. I’m comin’ over every night.”

  Our server delivered steak, red potatoes and asparagus. I was only able to eat half the food before pushing my plate away. Once the server had cleared away the dishes and I finished half the bottle of wine, Kane pulled me over to the leather sofa along one wall of the room.

  No matter how tired I was, I couldn’t help the stir of arousal I inevitably felt when he kissed me. His lips trailed down my jaw line to my neck. The brush of his beard made my skin tingle with delicious awareness. And when he started sliding my clothes off me, I tipped my head back and moaned, blissfully surrendering my body to him.

  His mouth grew hungrier, nipping at my naked skin as he quickly took off his clothes. Within a few seconds, he’d rolled on a condom, sat down on the couch and took hold of my hips, easing me on top of him.

  I straddled him, taking in his dark, desperate gaze. I wasn’t sure if I was more intoxicated by my need for him or his for me.

  When he lowered my hips until he sank all the way into me, I cried out with eager satisfaction. This was exactly what I needed–to abandon everything but him in this moment. I took over, sliding my body up and down his length until he groaned deeply for more.

  “Yes, baby. Ride my dick with that gorgeous cunt. You’re so fuckin’ wet, Viv.” He took a handful of my hair and pulled until my eyes were level with his. “No other man will ever see this cunt, you hear me? No other man will ever taste it. Or see these big, perfect tits.” He smacked one of my bouncing breasts and then ground out another groan as I sank all the way onto him and lingered there. “Your body is just for me. Your tight ass is mine.”

  He put two long fingers in his mouth and withdrew them, sliding the tips into my ass as I resumed riding him.

  “Oh God, Kane.” An orgasm tore through me like a freight train, obliterating everything else.

  “Don’t stop fucking riding my cock, Viv,” he ordered. “Balls deep.”

  I obeyed, and the hard, deep contact intensified my orgasm. He slid his fingers further into my ass and wrapped his free arm around my waist, driving his hips upward and fucking me hard.

  “Ah, fuck.” His voice was a labored rasp. “Viv . . . Shit. I’m coming.”

  There was nothing but the sounds of slapping skin, heavy breathing and groaning as we ground our hips together and I rode out the deepest, most intense orgasm of my life. Kane gently slipped his fingers out of my ass and wrapped both his arms around my back, holding me tightly.

  My body was slack with relaxation, and I closed my eyes and let Kane’s warmth seep into me as my breathing returned to normal.

  Finally, I laughed low in my throat and pulled back to meet his eyes.

  “So. You think my cunt is gorgeous? Or were you making f
un?”

  He stroked a thumb across the damp skin at the small of my back. “I would never make fun of you. Your body is perfect to me, Viv. Absolutely fucking flawless. I love that you don’t shave your pussy bald or tan or any of that shit. These full hips and big tits are perfection, baby.”

  “What brought this on?” I brushed my thumbs over his soft beard, my affection for him welling over.

  “I just want you to know,” he said, his tone serious. “You’re the only one for me, Viv. I wouldn’t change one thing about you.”

  I kissed him softly. “And you’re the only one for me, my sweet, sexy man.”

  He scowled at me. “Sweet? I’m not a fuckin’ pussy, Viv.”

  “You’re only sweet to me. And I love that, so don’t ruin it.”

  The light touch of his fingertip running down my bare spine made me shiver and curl into him.

  “Our secret, then,” he said.

  There was nothing but us. Our bodies molded together, fitting perfectly. My cheek was pressed to his chest, and I heard the faint beat of his heart. Even when I was exhausted, Kane made me feel utterly rejuvenated.

  IT SNOWED ON CHRISTMAS EVE–big, sparkly flakes floating down to the street when Kane and I walked out of the club after the party there.

  He and Jeff had hosted a dinner for the staff and given everyone a cash bonus. The evening had been light and festive, everyone relaxed and looking forward to a second day off tomorrow.

  “Did you have a good time?” Kane asked me, wrapping his arm around my waist as we made our way to his car.

  “The best. I’m so glad we’re waiting until the day after Christmas to go see my family.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. This is nice, celebrating at home with you.”

  My parents were hosting a big get together for the whole family the day after Christmas. They’d been disappointed I wasn’t coming for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for the first time ever, but I wanted to be with Kane, and he wanted to drop by Cori’s and see Brooklyn and bring her a gift on Christmas morning. For the first time, he could give his daughter a present and watch her open it. That was where we needed to be tomorrow.