“Bullshit. The servers are afraid to even make eye contact with you.”
“Nothing’s going on with us,” I said sharply. “Nothing at all since Christmas. She hasn’t spoken to me since we had a fight that day.”
“Shit, man. What happened?”
I rubbed my forehead and exhaled deeply. “I fucked up like I always do.”
“Don’t give me some abstract shit, Kane. What, exactly, happened?”
“You know I’ve been seeing Brooklyn over at Cori’s place.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, the weekend before Christmas Cori asked me to come over for dinner and didn’t mention Brooklyn was going to a sleepover right after dinner. She hit on me while we washed dishes. Grabbed my cock and told me I should give us a chance at a relationship so Brook can have a real family.”
“That’s fucking low.”
“Is it? I feel responsible for the situation she’s in. She was a single mom at age twenty. I never once did right by her except when I paid back the child support I owed her.”
“Yeah, but grabbing your junk when you’re with someone else is inexcusable.”
“I shut her down. Told her I’m with Viv.”
Jeff said back in his chair. “But?”
“But I felt like shit for days after. Like I fucked all of them over. Cori, Brook and Viv. I wondered if I should put my feelings aside and make Brooklyn number one. Cori’s a good mom.”
“What, you mean be with Cori even though you don’t want to? Leave Viv?”
His outraged tone underscored what a dickhead I’d been.
“I don’t know, man. I love Viv. But I wondered if I was being selfish for thinking of me instead of Brooklyn.”
“Kane . . . you can be a great dad to her without being involved with her mom. People do it all the time.”
“I get that. I do. I was just eaten up with guilt over all of it. And Cori holds the fucking cards, man. I see Brook when she says I can. I can’t give that up. Cori didn’t want her meeting Viv.”
“Didn’t? So they met?”
My shoulders slumped forward in defeat. “Yeah. I brought Viv over there with me on Christmas to drop off Brook’s present. I wanted Cori to know I’m with Viv and that’s not changing.”
“And it didn’t go well.”
“Viv felt blindsided. Understandably.”
Jeff gave me an incredulous look. “You didn’t tell her about Cori coming on to you? And you just took her to Cori’s house?”
I scowled at him. “Yeah, asshole, that’s what I did. I didn’t want Viv worrying. But Cori was cold to her and she made me tell her everything on the way home.”
“Man, that really sucks.”
“Yeah, you think? I can’t think about anything else. Can’t sleep. All I do is call and text and wait and wonder when she’ll fucking talk to me.”
“Maybe she just needs some time.”
“It’s been two fucking weeks,” I said, my tone more like a growl. “Fuck this. I can’t take it. I’m in love with her. It’s like I’d never filled my lungs completely with air before her, and now I know how it feels to breathe deep. I don’t want to stop.”
Jeff was somber. “I’m sorry.”
“I know I was wrong. I know I fucked up. It was never that I wanted Cori. Never. I just wondered if I should be putting my daughter first. Giving her a chance at something she never had. But I can’t. It’s not . . . not even an option. Viv is my heart and soul.”
“Then don’t let her slip away.”
I got up, his words driving me into action. I had to see her. Maybe if she saw how fucking wrecked I was without her, she’d give me another chance.
I was desperate. I had to fill my lungs with her again. Whatever it took.
Viv
CARA’S SMILE WAS EVEN BRIGHTER than the giant engagement ring on her finger. I’d never seen her like this.
I still hadn’t fully recovered from the shock of her news. Marcus Anderson had proposed to her on New Year’s Eve, at Six. He was the mystery man she’d been seeing since the night I first brought her to the club. Funny how they worked at the same law firm but didn’t feel an attraction until that night. From what Cara had told me, a shared love of kinky sex was part of the draw.
It was nice to see my best friend so happy. I was already over the bridal magazines, but I hadn’t told her that yet. I wasn’t sure if I was legit over it or just bitter because I missed Kane so much.
The past two weeks had been so hard. Everywhere I turned I saw reminders of him. I still wore my ‘k’ necklace tucked beneath my shirt every day. Still reached to the other side of my bed in the morning expecting him to be there. Still read and re-read the texts he’d sent me.
But I didn’t respond. Sometimes I wrote out a reply but deleted it instead of sending it. Now I was the one all messed up inside. I loved him, but had a nagging sense that I should step aside and let him focus on Brooklyn.
Cara was sitting in my office talking about honeymoon destination ideas when Marcus opened the door to my office, knocking at the same time. His eyes warmed when he saw his fiancée.
“Dinner with Henley Cartwright at seven, Viv,” he said to me. “Don’t forget.”
I groaned and took out my planner. “I guess I forgot to write it down. Probably because I hate him. Are you sure I have to be there?”
“He specifically requested you be there. He actually said I don’t need to be.”
I rolled my eyes. “I refuse to go without you. I also refuse to listen to his lame attempts to get me in bed.”
“He’s hot, Viv,” Cara said. “He could be your rebound guy.”
“No.”
Marcus walked in and rested a hand on Cara’s shoulder. She gazed up at him adoringly. “I didn’t mean he’s hotter than you, baby. No man’s hotter than you.”
“I’ll go to dinner,” I said, eager to get one or both of them out of my office. “But Marcus, don’t ditch me with him.”
“Agreed.”
“Where’s dinner?”
“Six.”
I laughed. Then I laughed some more. “No. I won’t go there.”
“Come on, I got us a great table.”
I shook my head. “There’s no possible way I’m going there. At all.”
Cara looked up at Marcus. “That’s Kane’s club. The guy she was seeing until a couple weeks ago.”
Marcus’s eyes widened. “Matthew Kane? That’s who you were seeing?”
I glared at Cara. “Yes, and thanks for sharing that, Cara. Pick another restaurant or have a nice dinner without me.”
“You are the ballsiest junior attorney I’ve ever known,” Marcus said. “It’s almost impressive.”
I gave him a tight smile. “I guess you making me chase your playboy client all over the country and endure his vapid personality brought us closer together.”
“You win. We’ll go to the Chopping Block.” He had a hand on the back of Cara’s neck now, massaging her. “You’ll join us, right, babe? I don’t think we’re discussing the case. Just celebrating the disposition.”
“Sure.”
“I’ll meet you there,” I said, putting my reading glasses back on. “I need to finish a few things up first.”
They left and I rested my elbows on my desk, trying not to think about Kane. I didn’t really have anything to finish. I just couldn’t stand being around a happy couple right now. Not when the pain of losing Kane was still so fresh.
Kane
I heard her laugh.
That rich, throaty laugh that made me smile and get horny for her all at once. I’d missed that laugh so damn much.
“I do believe it, actually,” she said. “You seem just crazy enough to do it.”
“Crazy can be fun.”
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. It was a man’s voice. Viv had just gotten out of a cab near her apartment with another fucking man. From my spot on the side of her front stairs, up against a stone wall, they couldn’t see me. I couldn’t see
them, either, but I could hear them.
“Don’t write me off, Miss Marceau,” the man said. “I know I test your patience, but there’s a lot to me you haven’t seen. The playboy reputation is more for show. I like being a one-woman man, if she’s as feisty and beautiful as you.”
My muscles tensed and I pressed a fist to my mouth, struggling to maintain control. I wanted to fly down to the sidewalk and kick this asshole into next week.
But I also wanted to know if she wanted him. Had she moved on from me already? Was I too late?
“Henley, thank you,” she said. “I’m flattered. But I’m . . . with someone.”
“Why the pause?”
“It’s complicated.”
He laughed. I could tell by the laugh the guy was a douchebag. It was girly. Fucker.
“Ah, complicated is never good. That usually means ‘I don’t know how to get myself out of this mess’.”
“It is a mess,” she agreed. “But I love him. And love isn’t something I take lightly.”
“Is this the guy you said would kick my ass for being friendly to you?”
“Yes. And he would. He’s fiercely protective and loyal. My unpolished gem.”
The man’s voice got a little lower. “Give a polished gem a shot, Vivian. You’ll find it quite nice.”
I sprang up from the step and jogged down. “She said no, motherfucker. What’d you say to her? Did you touch her?”
The pretty twentysomething’s eyes got big. “What the fuck?”
“Kane,” Viv said.
A burly man in dark clothes stalked toward me. “Back away from Mr. Cartwright, sir.”
“Make me, asshole. That’s my girlfriend he’s trying to get with.”
“Ah . . . this is where I should say goodnight.” Henley looked at Viv. “You know how to reach me.”
“I’m gonna reach you in about two seconds if you don’t get the fuck out of here,” I said, stepping closer to him.
The bodyguard put himself between me and pretty boy, rushing him into a waiting car.
“Kane,” Viv said again.
I turned and took in her pained expression. “Hey.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m not walking out. You told me not to walk out on you ever again and I won’t. I love you, Viv. Not a little. I love you with everything I am. I can’t go back to life before you. I fucked up and I’m sorry. I should’ve told you about Cori.”
The corners of her mouth turned down sadly.
“It hurt so much, finding out you were torn between me and her, Kane. I don’t know if I can get past that.”
“It wasn’t like that. Not even close. I was never torn between you and her. For a few hours, maybe, I thought I had to choose between you and Brooklyn. Cori had me wondering if I was supposed to think of Brooklyn’s happiness instead of my own.”
Viv’s brow furrowed. “Because you being with me would make Brooklyn unhappy?”
“No.” I breathed out a cloud of cold winter air. “It makes Cori unhappy, but she fucked with my head enough to make me wonder if I was being a shitty father. I was a shitty father for so long that I doubted myself.”
She nodded slightly.
“And by the way,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest, “what the fuck did Justin Bieber mean when he mentioned me kicking his ass for being friendly to you?”
“Henley?” She smiled at the Bieber reference. “That weekend I had to fly to L.A. he tried to hit on me. I told him you’d kick his ass if you knew.”
“Hell yeah, I would’ve. But I didn’t get a chance, did I? Because you never told me, Viv.”
She opened her mouth and closed it again. “This is different.”
I moved closer to her. “Like hell.”
“Kane . . .”
“Viv.”
A few seconds of silence passed.
“I love you,” I said. “I’ve never had this before, what we’ve got, and I’m not losing it. I’ll tell Cori no more visits at their house.”
Viv met my eyes solemnly. “You’ll tell her you want time with Brooklyn without her present. And if she says no, we’ll petition the court for it.”
A sliver of hope glowed warm in my chest. “Okay, that’s fair. I’ll tell her that.”
“And you’ll share stuff with me from now on. Not leave me in the dark.”
“I’ll never leave you in the dark again.”
Her eyes softened. “And you won’t let me sleep alone ever again.”
I put my hands on her hips, the soft, familiar curves of her making my blood pump. “Never again.”
“I love you,” she said, resting her palms on my chest. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love anyone else.”
I leaned my forehead against hers. “I hope not, because I’ll fucking castrate any man you look twice at.”
She laughed softly. “So romantic, Kane.”
“I’m your unpolished gem, remember?”
“You are.”
“So let’s go inside and I’ll remind you just how unpolished I am in bed.”
“I may need multiple reminders.”
I pulled her in close. “Done.”
Four months later
THERE WAS SOMETHING SEXY ABOUT the pale pink paint specks in Kane’s beard. He saw me admiring him and arched his brows.
“See something you like?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” He smacked my ass and scooped his hands behind my legs, picking me up.
I laughed uncontrollably and even snorted in a most unladylike way as he tickled me. Brooklyn came running into the kitchen carrying a pink-paint covered paintbrush.
“You ready for more paint?” Kane asked her, setting my feet back on the floor.
“Yeah. Viv, come see how good it looks!”
I smiled and walked down my apartment’s short hallway, admiring the tiny room that used to be my office. Now it was Brooklyn’s bedroom when she stayed with us. We were paining it pink and having new carpet put in. Kane had already started building a loft bed for her and was planning to make her a bookcase next.
The gym’s storage room that had formerly been his home was now his woodworking shop. He’d discovered a passion for it and I’d often go to the shop with him, working on my laptop on the couch that still remained there. The silence between us was always comfortable. I liked knowing he was there even if we weren’t talking.
Our life together was evolving nicely. We had Brooklyn every other weekend, which we’d achieved through mediation with Cori rather than taking her to court. Kane had told her in no uncertain terms that he wouldn’t be spending time alone with her anymore.
He still wasn’t open to Grayson coming over. After a thirty day stay at a rehab facility in January, Grayson seemed to be doing better. But Kane said he still had a long road ahead and couldn’t be trusted in our home after stealing from me. We invited him to have dinner with us at the club regularly, and Kane had forgiven his six thousand dollar debt. He definitely hadn’t forgotten it, though, and he watched Grayson like a hawk. I was secretly relieved, because the trust between me and Grayson hadn’t been rebuilt yet.
“You booked us in for a table Friday night, right?” I asked Kane.
“Yep. In the room with the stripper pole.”
I looked at him, my brows arched. “Are you kidding? I know you’re kidding, but I need you to confirm that you’re not taking my parents into the room with the pole.”
“Course I’m kidding. Don’t worry, baby. Your parents are gonna love your tattooed, ex-con, nightclub owner boyfriend.”
I shrugged. “They should love you, but if they don’t?”
“Eff ‘em,” Kane said. He was watching his use of his favorite word around Brooklyn.
“You can just say it,” she said, looking over at us from the wall she was painting. “I know what eff means.”
Kane’s expression sobered. “If any boy ever says that word to you, I want you to slap him. Really hard.”<
br />
She smiled the same smile that had melted my heart last fall in the most unexpected of places and ways. I saw so much of Kane in his daughter. And with her in his life, he was lighter. Free from the demons that had been chasing him when we met.
A life full of love had been waiting for him. And now that he’d reached for it, he was holding on tight. And I was, too.
Two Years Later
Brooklyn
I’VE NEVER FELT SO BEAUTIFUL. My pale blue dress comes all the way down to the floor and it shines a little in the light when I move. I’m wearing sparkly silver sandals and my toenails are bright pink because I got my first pedicure the other day.
And my hair . . . it’s all curled and piled on my head. Dad insisted on getting me a tiara that has tiny shining diamonds in it. He said I should look like the princess I am today.
And I do. He’s marrying Viv today, but they’ve told me so many times that this isn’t just their special day–it’s ours.
I’m walking slowly, like the wedding planner told me to. I’m not as nervous as I thought I’d be, because I’m keeping my eyes on my dad. He looks so handsome in his tuxedo, his short hair in a neat cut and his beard trimmed short.
The way he’s smiling at me makes me want to cry. I see the shine of tears in his eyes. He feels so much guilt over missing the first nine years of my life and I wonder if he’s thinking about that. I hope not. I hope he’s thinking about the past two years, when he and Viv have tried hard to make up for lost time.
We have lunch at the club every other Sunday, when it’s closed. One of the chefs there, Tim, lets us come in and help him cook. We wash and chop and talk about our week. Dad and Viv like hearing about my classes and friends. They come to all my soccer games.
I love spending time at Dad and Viv’s place in the city. I spent a week there over Christmas and we shopped for the perfect tree. Dad carried it home over his shoulder and we decorated it pink and purple. We played games and wrapped presents and Viv helped me make a Christmas ornament and decorate a picture frame to give to Mom for Christmas.
It was hard for Mom at first, when she was all alone. She was afraid of losing me, even though that could never happen. No one means more to me than Mom. But eventually she saw how happy it makes me to be with Dad and Viv. Now she likes it when I spend time with them.
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