by Lowe, T. I.
“I think it’s time we get you back to New York.” I drive us on in silence for a few beats. “Besides, Thorton, you’ve been stuck with me for over a month now. Haven’t you reached your limit of me yet?” I try teasing the tension away and it falls flat.
“Please, Greyson. I’m not ready to go back just yet. Sawyer has made a mess of things and I’m not prepared to face it.”
“Oh, so that’s the real reason you’ve been doing this.” My voice gets all hoarse and I sound like a loser. I can’t help it. That’s pretty disappointing.
“No, no,” she starts to reassure me. “Greyson… I’ve missed you more than you know. I want to hang out with you… Even if you were heading back to New York, I still wouldn’t want to go near the city right now.”
I know she’s trying to make me feel better. She’s doing a lousy job.
“Please let me go to Pennsylvania. Please.” She gives up when I don’t answer her and goes to sniffling. Great.
I’m a sucker when it comes to Julia Thorton. Always have been. So while she’s still freshening up at the gas station, I reprogram the GPS for Pennsylvania. I’ve got a really bad feeling about this. My gut says get rid of this chick and do it fast. I have told Julia no about a lot of things over the years, and I just can’t bring myself to do it this time. Yes, I know I’m gonna pay a price for giving in, too. I have no doubt about it.
Julia climbs back in her passenger seat, looking defeated, and goes to staring out the window.
I let out a long sigh. “Okay, Thorton. How’s about you and I go check out what Pennsylvania has to offer us? Whataya say?”
She looks over to me and a small smile appears on that beautiful face. “Thank you.”
“Okay. Why don’t we celebrate with a round of protein shakes?” I offer.
“I could think of something better for a celebratory drink than that,” Julia sasses, sounding more like the girl I know. But she heads over to the fridge and grabs us a shake anyway.
Miles pass quietly with Julia seeming to be content with continuing the trip and me privately worrying when it’s going to blow up in my face. I feel it coming, too.
“So what’s on the itinerary for this leg? Please tell me you aren’t seeking out an Amish person to say some slang word.”
I chuckle. I didn’t think of that…
“You’re going to love these two stops, Thorton. Chocolate and Intercourse. What more can a woman ask for?” Now we both laugh, and it feels good. I’m starting to feel good. And boy does it feel good. I’ve felt bad for so long that I forgot how good plain simple good can feel.
We pull up late in the afternoon with the sun shining low as it begins the slow descent. And man, is this place glorious. This campground is unlike most. It’s smack dab in the middle of a farming village. The scenery is abundant crops and modest barns with the occasional horse and buggy passing right by my parked RV. You can just feel the peace breezing around this place. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. I waste no time going to bed, leaving Julia up as always. I know she doesn’t sleep much, but I really need the rest. I try not to worry about her and settle in for the night. My mouth waters just thinking about tomorrow.
A chocolate factory… Absolute heaven. Some men drool over car museums or raceways. That’s all good, but there’s nothing like a place dedicated to just chocolate. Julia rags me because of it with the usual teasing about me acting like a girl with my chocolate obsession. And again, I don’t care. I’ve learned that life is too short to worry what people think of you.
But as happy as this place was making me, it was making Julia just as miserable. We bickered most of the day with me frequently reminding her she was the one who begged to come along. That shut her up for a while, but then she went right back to it.
The coolest part of the tour was that I got to make my own candy bar, filling it with caramel, almonds, and marshmallow crème. When it came Julia’s turn, she just waved that prim hand around and said, “You just go ahead, honey.”
I overlooked the tour attitude, but she really pushed it during the chocolate tasting, saying that a wine tasting would be so much better.
“No wine. So stop your whining.” I snapped the words sternly at her. You would think Julia could take a hint. Nope. She just kept on.
She wanted to know how many calories were in each piece of chocolate. The kind instructor was accommodating and tried to find the exact calorie count for the princess. Needless to say, Julia sucked the fun out of the entire day.
When we returned to the campground, she struck out on her run to fight those measly calories she consumed. And I stormed off to bed. I laid in there stewing over it all. I noticed the constant tremors in her hands today. No amount of me trying to distract her helped. I know my girl. I’ve watched her over a decade and all I can do is wait for the fall. She’s spiraling right before me. God help us.
~~~~
I wake up this morning with a bad feeling seething in the pit of my stomach and think twice about getting up altogether. I don’t know what I’m about to face, but I decide it’s best to get on with it. After my usual breakfast of oatmeal and a protein shake and Julia’s usual of just coffee, our plans are to head over to explore the village.
Julia meets me outside after breakfast as I start unloading the mopeds. “Can’t I just ride on the back of yours? I really don’t feel like driving today.”
I should understand her intentions. And I think I do, but try with all my might to ignore them. It is going to be a bad day. I don’t have a clue just how bad it is going to get. There’s some saying about hindsight and I can’t bring it forward at the moment.
So Julia settles on the back of my moped and we both set out with overstuffed backpacks. I have already made reservations at this Tavern/Inn for two rooms. Although they are adjoining, it is some separation. We are going to have supper, or closer to reality I will be having supper, and then spend the night. I need a break from Julia and she has no qualms about staying in an inn after the long stay in the RV.
I check us in and then we set out on foot around the village. I’ve cautiously watched Julia all day. I don’t know what gives. Why today? Why period? But she’s heading for a crash. She’s been making small talk, calling everything quaint and has bought a considerable amount of nonsense. She’s bought her brother a leather belt, her sister some earrings, a quilt for my mom and one for Miss May. She’s even purchased me a cowboy hat. We set up shipping for everything she finds. She’s so restless today, just grabbing all kinds of stuff that I’m not sure she will ever do anything with.
The first food specialty shop I talk Julia into checking out actually has wine samples. At ten in the morning! And that’s all it takes. I try backtracking us out of the store, but she won’t leave. Julia is so charming that the lady ends up practically pouring the wine down Julia’s throat. I literally have to drag her out of there.
“Honey, you should have yourself a drink. Maybe it will loosen you up a bit.” Julia giggles.
“I have no desire, Thorton. Not when I’ve seen how alcohol can wreck a person.” I nearly growl this out as I pull her along the sidewalk.
“Fun Police.” She giggles more while she’s pointing her finger at me. She has no food in her as a buffer and already seems a bit tipsy.
Julia manages to not sniff out any more beverages until lunch. Lunch is at this ultra-cool brew house with a five star restaurant. All I can think about is trying the award-winning burger and sweet potato fries. I don’t think Julia will be tempted too much with the beer. She’s always whined that it bloats her too much. Well, I am wrong—way wrong.
There is this huge sign over the beer bar that states, “Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.” –Thomas Jefferson.
As I eat, I watch Julia’s eyes get glassier and heavier while she downs two handcrafted beers. Moderation is not a word this chick has a clue about. I see nothing healthy about it. We leave with me having a full belly and a
heavy heart, as I watch my companion stumble around. I try to talk her into going for a nap.
“Hmm… I will if you go to bed with me.” She flirts relentlessly while running her hands over my chest.
“Tempting, but no.” I take a step back from her. I don’t play into her game.
“Fine. Let’s move on, Stone.” She staggers away, so I have no choice but follow.
We keep at exploring the town. Two hours have passed and she seems to be sobering a little. I find a specialty store, hoping I can find something she will agree to eat. Of course, that backfires in my face. This store is offering an afternoon cocktail special and Julia comes close to jumping up and down and clapping her hands. No lie. It’s like the booze is following us around today. I try talking her out of it, but don’t want to cause a scene. She starts getting loud when I suggest she lay off the drinks, so I back off. When she gets to this point I know there’s nothing I can do. There’s no reaching her. The day passes with us weaving in and out of shops. We shop with Julia getting louder and sillier as the time drags on. I just hope I can get us to the tavern for supper and talk her into eating.
Evening finally arrives and now we are sitting in the tavern for supper. I’m looking over the main course menu and Julia is scanning the beverage menu. “You want to tell me what all of this is about?” I ask as I tap the top of her menu.
“I’m thirsty,” she sasses without looking at me.
“Please don’t do this, Julia.” I use her first name, which causes her to look up. But it only lasts a beat until she goes right back to checking out the drink choices. She is running from something hard and I have a feeling it isn’t any of Sawyer’s stupid crap. The man has no clue. He makes me sick actually with how he uses and mistreats women. Especially Julia. What makes me even sicker is that she’s been letting him mistreat her repeatedly for years.
I end up ordering a porterhouse steak with a side of mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables. And Julia shocks me even further when she orders a hundred dollar shot of whiskey—no joke. She slings it back like a pro, and I have the overwhelming desire to cry. I suck it up though. My girl is running fast from something and I can tell it is bad on her heels. I just wish she would talk to me about it instead of self-destructing.
My food arrives and Julia has enough nerve to gag at it. Like food is the mortal sin.
“That hunk of meat looks like it needs some more time on the grill. Look at all that butter on those potatoes. Do you think you can eat all that?” Her pretty little nose is all wrinkled up.
“I’ll share with you,” I offer, pushing the plate near her, and she recoils like just being near it will cause her to consume the calories. I give up and begin eating my meal.
Julia can’t sit still so she disappears into the tavern room after this and I know there is nothing I can do, so I set out to enjoy my meal. The pretty waitress tries talking me into dessert, but I want no more repeats of the whole overeating situation. My food capacity is growing, but I don’t want to push it. After my plate is cleared away and the bill settled, I take a deep breath and talk myself into going to find my drunken companion.
I don’t like what I find in the dimly lit room. At. All. Julia, in those tight little jeans and that lacy tank top, is looking gorgeous as ever and vulnerable. The woman is smashed on top of that. She’s moving those tiny hips to some twangy music by the bar. My heart races up several notches at the sight of a group of guys circling around her like sharks smelling blood. I’m not up for this—mentally or physically. I brave it though and move to the edge of the crowd. “Let’s go, Thorton.”
She looks over at me with unfocused eyes as she is being openly groped by some behemoth of a guy. “Party pooper.” She pouts out those full lips before turning away from me.
“Now, Julia.” I scoot a little closer.
This gets the attention of the guy whose hands seriously need to keep to themselves. My hand itches to remove them.
“Look little man, this fine lady isn’t ready to go. So bug off.” He reaches out and shoves me for emphasis. He’s at least a half foot shorter than me, but makes up for that with outweighing me by I’m guessing a hundred or more pounds.
I throw my hands up and declare, “I want no trouble. It’s just time to go.” I move over to pull Julia out of his arms and that’s when the crap not only hits the fan, it explodes!
I get my butt handed to me. I’m not gonna lie. One minute I’m grabbing hold of Julia’s hand and the next thing I know I’m on the ground, having had my bell properly rung. It happens fast and in a blur. As I lay here, trying to get my bearings, Julia staggers over to me and kneels, nearly toppling on me.
“Oh no… Honey, you’re bleeding,” she slurs out.
I can only grunt at her. My mind is too jumbled to form words. I dab at my throbbing lip and pull my hand away. Sure enough, I find my fingers tinged red. This day has officially sucked. I don’t see how it can get any worse. The dude got two punches in. I can feel my aching left eye swelling shut as I continue to lay here. I go to sit up just as I notice Julia’s face turning green. Before I can move out the way, all of that poison she has been pouring down her throat all day spews out in a demonic flood and is now covering my shirt.
Now this day officially sucks.
Chapter Twelve
Julia
Morning finds me all kinds of hung over and I’m scared to open my eyes. I lay here, trying to piece the night back together, but am distracted by the pounding behind my eyes—not to mention my mouth tastes like something crawled inside and rotted. I pull the blanket over my head and try to put off consciousness for a little longer. I’ve not done this routine in a while and forgot so quickly how horrible it is. I think I’ve messed up in a big way, and have pushed Greyson too far this time. There was just no getting a grip on myself yesterday.
My nightmare with Evan happened a long time ago, but certain times of the year, the memories rear their ugly heads and haunt me. Yesterday had marked the day Evan’s affection had turned to hurt. And that’s all I want to say about it or I’m going to be headed towards a repeat of yesterday and I just can’t handle another.
Eventually, I gather myself up off the bed slowly. The room is still spinning and I’m having a hard time centering myself. I think it’s more of a dehydration problem now. I find a bottle of water sitting on my nightstand, pick it up, and start to sip it slowly. Once the bottle is empty, I grab my backpack and head for the shower to try to wash away the shame. This little inn is cute with the whole country decor, but my bed back in the RV sleeps better and the bathroom is actually nicer. It’s odd to find myself missing the confines of an RV.
After dressing, I head over to the door that connects my room with Greyson’s. It’s already a little after ten in the morning so I know he’s up. I knock quietly before entering. It’s such a feminine room with a floral quilt and lacy old fashioned curtains. Everything is way too cheery compared to how I feel at the moment. He’s sitting at the small dinette table sipping coffee and slowly working through a bounty of room service breakfast. Even in his scrawny state, Greyson seems too manly to be in such a feminine space. He is sitting with his back towards me. All I want to do is wrap my arms around his shoulders and beg for forgiveness, but I restrain myself and take the seat opposite of him. Breakfast meat odor lingers in the air along with egg aroma. The smell recoils my stomach so I don’t inspect the plate, just focus on the coffee instead. I help myself to a cup and nearly drop it when I look up and see Greyson’s face.
“I’m so sorry, honey… I thought I had dreamt that up.” All I can do is stare at him in pity. He has a hat pushed low over his face, but the black puffy eye and split lip are very prominent. He won’t meet my eyes so I know he’s embarrassed and more than likely pretty ticked at me.
“I can assure you, it was no dream.” He talks slowly as though he’s trying not to stretch his hurt lip. My insides pinch at this. I can’t believe how bad I’ve messed up and dragged this angel of a man down w
ith me.
Sitting in stunned silence, I can’t look away from his face—a beautiful face that I helped to get mangled. I’m so ashamed of myself. He slowly works through his food as I notice he’s completely dressed for the day with his shoes already on, so maybe he’s not going to let my hiccup ruin his adventure.
I can’t stand his silence. I wish he would yell at me or at least bicker like normal. “Greyson… please forgive me for last night. I sort of lost control…”
“Yeah. That was pretty jacked up.” He shrugs his shoulders. “But no worries. At least I can mark a bar brawl and being kicked out of an establishment off my list.” He speaks quietly and still won’t look at me.
Neither would ever be on a list belonging to Greyson Stone. He’s trying to brush all of this under the rug. I think I may just let him.
“Wow. Two for the price of one. That’s good. Right?” I try to laugh.
He plays along with a slight nod of his head. “Absolutely. It’ll give Mom something new to fuss over next week.”
My stomach knots up at this. “I’ll explain to Barbara that it was entirely my fault.”
“Nah. I’ll take care of it… I’m a big boy.”
His words cause me to cringe, because I know his ego took a beating last night, too. Oh, how I wish life had a rewind button. Or at least a delete.
I watch wearily on as Greyson finishes his breakfast. He places his napkin on the empty plate and finishes off his coffee. He pushes an envelope across the table over to me and stands up stiffly. I open it and find a paid receipt for a train ride back to New York. Oh… So he has had enough of me. Well, I sure do deserve it.
“I think it’s best we part ways now. I also paid for you for another night’s stay in case you’re not up for traveling today.”
“Please don’t,” I whisper as I move around the table and wrap my arms around him.
Greyson barely hugs me back. “I can’t do this right now, Julia. I can’t save you. I wish I could, but I’m not even strong enough to save myself.” His voice is thick and husky and laced with defeat.