Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could really say in response, so I sighed again and held the icepack against the lower half of my mouth as I mumbled, “Okay. Fine. If it makes you happy.”
“Well isn’t that just a pretty picture then,” Austin grumbled. “Just couldn’t wait, could you, ya’ bastard?”
“Hey,” Ben barked. “What did…”
“No, Ben,” I snapped, cutting him off. “Let him say what’s on his mind.”
“Aye, I suspect you don’t want to be hearin’ that, now do you,” my brother-in-law responded with an angry snort.
“Keep it civil,” Ben instructed, taking a half step to the side, so we could see one another. “Both of ya’.”
“Actually, yes. I do want to hear it, Austin,” I replied. “Just what couldn’t I wait for?”
“Her,” he snipped. “Felicity’s in jail, and you’ve already got yourself a cailin here in her house…”
“A what?”
“Are ya’ daft?” he spat, thrusting his chin toward Constance. “Your girlfriend there.”
“Gods, Austin, get a clue. She’s an FBI agent,” I returned incredulously. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
Constance slipped out her badge case and flipped it open as she stepped toward him. “I’ve already identified myself as a federal officer, here’s my ID,” she told him coolly. “And, he’s telling the truth. I’m not his girlfriend.”
He simply harrumphed in return, giving her credentials only a cursory glance.
“So, are you trying to tell me everything was just fine until you saw Constance standing there at the door, and that’s why you decided to take a swing at me? Because, I hate to tell you this, but I have trouble believing that.”
“Aye, I was planning to hit you anyway, that’s a fact.”
“Yeah, no shit. Want to give me a clue as to why?”
As an answer he simply repeated his earlier question. “What have you done to my sister?”
“I haven’t done a thing. Just what the hell makes you think I did something to her?”
“She’s in jail, ya’ bastard.”
“Dammit, Austin, you think I don’t know that? I didn’t put her there, you idiot, but I’m trying my damndest to get her out!”
“That’s not what I’ve been told.”
“By who? Shamus?”
“Aye.”
“Yeah, well why am I not surprised by that? What does get me though is that you believed him.”
“Well, you might as well get used to it, then.”
“Really? So when did you all of a sudden start taking his side?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yeah, I think maybe it does. What the hell did he tell you, Austin?”
“The truth.”
“The truth, or his truth? Because we both know they aren’t the same thing.”
“Says you.”
“Gods,” I muttered, worry filling my voice. “What the hell did he say to you, Austin?”
“He told me the things you’ve forced my sister to do.”
“He what?”
“The devil worship. The sacrifices. Everything.”
“Gods, Austin, give me a break, will you? You, of all people, know better than that. Hell, you’ve been one of the first to defend me when he’s started in on that crap before.”
“Aye, but that was before I knew the real truth.”
My frustration was starting to get the better of me. “Real truth? What real truth? What are you talking about?”
“Stop lying, you bastard. He still has the letters.”
The only thing keeping my irritation from reaching a volatile flashpoint was the sudden dousing of confusion applied by his words. “Letters? Dammit, Austin. Just spit it out. What the hell are you talking about?”
“The letters Felicity sent, begging him to help her escape from you,” he growled.
“The what?” I snapped back at him, incredulity tightly wrapped about the words. “Give me a break. He doesn’t have any such thing and you know it.”
“Aye, but I do. I’ve seen them. And, they’re written in her own hand, by God.”
CHAPTER 20:
The only thing I truly remember hearing on the heels of Austin’s retort was Ben’s voice as he all but spat the word “bullshit” into the room. If my brother-in-law responded to it verbally, either I didn’t hear him, or his words simply weren’t registering because I was no longer paying attention to his rhetoric.
In fact, I wasn’t paying attention to anyone.
Of course, even if I had been able to blurt my own objection, once again there was no need, because Ben delivered the comment with enough disdain for the both of us. Besides that, the single word summed everything up in a neat and wholly unambiguous package. There was nothing for me to add.
It took a moment for me to notice that all normal sound had been replaced by a loud ringing as my blood raged through my body. My ears and face began to feel hot, and the room seemed to waver as an emotional claustrophobia swaddled me in an ever-tightening blanket of anguish. I couldn’t even describe what I was feeling as blind anger, because it went so far beyond that.
It was a good thing Shamus wasn’t the one in the chair because this was all simply too much. I’d finally had everything I could possibly take, and the fragile self-control I’d maintained thus far was a rapidly fading memory. I couldn’t say for certain what I would have done had it actually been him sitting there, but it’s a good bet that an ambulance and some manner of charges being filed against me would have been a big part of the aftermath.
I stood there, unmoving. I didn’t even utter a sound as Austin’s words replayed in my head. I simply stared back at him while every painful event in my recently shattered life joined together and came to a dangerous climax. Then, just as I felt myself pitching over that precipice toward a violent eruption, something far more frightening happened.
Calm swept over me in a comfortable shroud.
Cold, emotionless, calm, and with it came a strange sense of clarity. It was, however, a form of lucidity that I couldn’t readily identify. I knew full well that while it could in fact be reality, it could just as easily be the edge of insanity. But, at this point, it simply didn’t matter one way or the other.
Thoughts ricocheted around the inside of my skull, and I inspected them with mild interest, still remaining staunchly silent.
There wasn’t even the most miniscule thread of doubt in my mind that what Austin had professed was exactly what Ben had said it was-pure, high-grade fertilizer. There could be absolutely no truth to it whatsoever, and that was simple fact. On top of that, it was fresh ordure. It simply stank too much not to be. But, unfortunately, I also knew that right now, Austin firmly believed every word of the steaming pile he had just shoveled.
Given the conversations I’d had with Shamus in the past twenty-four hours, it really didn’t come as a shock that he would fabricate something to help prop up his plan to have Felicity deprogrammed. The simple fact that he claimed to have contacted an “exit counselor” was enough to tell me that much.
When it came right down to it, even though Felicity had said she was certain her mother would shut him down, in the back of my mind I had been just as certain that she couldn’t. Not this time. I’d hoped that maybe I would be wrong, but the evidence at hand said otherwise.
Still, all I had truly expected from my father-in-law were a couple of fictional diatribes. A few easily discountable rants spewed forth by a man who wasn’t willing to accept anything other than the narrow vision he stubbornly saw as truth. I hadn’t begun to imagine that he would go as far as trying to produce some form of bogus documentation to lend credence to his accusations. Obviously, even with my belief that he wouldn’t back down from his threat, I had still underestimated his conviction. It seemed that every time the man stepped over a line, he would just go find a new one to cross. This line, however, was final. There were none beyond it, not where I was concerned anyway.
>
The sad thing was, in reality, we were both heading toward the same end-that being the safety and sanctity of Felicity. He was just approaching from a diametrically opposed direction. Unfortunately, one of the important points on his roadmap called for sacrificing me in order to arrive at that final destination.
In a sense I suppose I couldn’t blame him. I had to admit I was more than willing to fall upon my own sword if I believed it would help my wife in the least. But, it wouldn’t and I knew that, especially not the way Shamus was trying to make it happen. In fact, if he kept this up, which was plainly his intention, I wasn’t going to be his only victim. He was going to end up helping put away his daughter as well.
“Hey, Row?” Ben prodded. “You okay?”
The ringing in my ears had died away. When, I didn’t know, but it had been replaced by the ambient noise of the room. I just still wasn’t paying attention to that noise. Words being directed toward me, however, seemed to break that barrier.
Ben’s query served to alert me to the fact that I must have been staring in silence for longer than I’d realized. It took a moment for his voice to register, but when it did I set aside the random thoughts which had been occupying my conscious brain and tried to focus on the world around me. I became suddenly aware that the side of my thigh was wet and cold where the makeshift icepack in my hand was resting against it. But, instead of moving the dripping object, I simply clung to it, trying to use the physical sensation to draw me out of the bizarre catatonia.
I felt a bit like a voyeur, as if I was standing before a window watching something transpire in front of me, all the while hidden from the players in the act. At the same time I felt like I was at the center of it all and that nothing could continue without me.
I began to wonder if what I was experiencing truly was calm, or if it was nothing more than confusion. Of course, blithering insanity was always an option as well, and I can’t say that it was all that unattractive at the moment because this particular reality had been doing its best to kill me.
I briefly considered trying to find my voice; but after a half-hearted search, I decided it was hidden too well. My head didn’t seem overly interested in moving either, so I was unable to even look toward my friend to acknowledge hearing his question. Of course, none of these things really mattered to me. Be it calm, confusion, or flat out insanity that had come over me, I was comfortable for the first time in two weeks, and right now I saw no compelling reason to disturb that feeling. Taking the easy way out, I simply remained focused on Austin.
With no response coming from me for several beats, my brother-in-law drew his own hasty conclusion and cast his eyes toward Ben as he proceeded to gloat. “Aye, the bastard’s got nothing he can say to that.”
It was obvious from the tone of his voice that he was clearly delighted with himself over what he saw as a victory. Since he was still cuffed, he glanced back in my direction and thrust his chin out sharply, directing his next comment to me personally. “Do you, then, Rowan?”
His belligerence had no effect. My tongue continued to lie dormant, and waited. But, it didn’t matter because for some reason I didn’t feel the need to respond. Not to him, anyway.
“Rowan?” Constance made her own attempt to return my attention to the room. Her words fell into the same scrap bucket as everyone else’s, instantly disregarded even as they were heard. It wasn’t until she reached out and laid her hand on my arm that my two worlds once again fully merged.
I suddenly found myself looking down at her hand, regarding the appendage with mild curiosity. As the seconds ticked by, I eventually brought my gaze back up to her face.
“Yeah,” I finally said, finding my voice once again, though I’m certain it would have preferred to remain hidden.
“Don’t listen to him,” she offered.
“I’m not,” I told her.
“You go Twilight Zone, white man?” Ben called out.
“I honestly don’t know,” I said.
Constance continued, “Rowan, I’m sure Felicity didn’t write any such letters.”
“She did!” Austin insisted.
“No, she didn’t,” I announced calmly, rotating my head to bring my unblinking eyes back to bear on him.
“I’ve seen them,” he countered.
“Them,” I repeated. “As in more than one?”
“Aye. I saw them with my own eyes.”
“Yes, I’m sure you did,” I replied with a nod, still keeping my voice even. “But, let me ask you a question. Are you just drunk, or did you suddenly get stupid too?”
“Fek tu, ” he snipped bitterly.
“I’m serious, Austin,” I said, ignoring his insult entirely. “You know your sister well enough to realize she isn’t going to be forced into anything against her will.”
“Aye, but if…”
“No,” I cut him off. “There is no but if. They don’t come any more stubborn than Felicity and you know it.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” he objected. “You found a way to coerce her.”
“Row…” Ben interjected hesitantly. “Just drop it. You’re just wastin’ your breath on ‘im.”
“No,” I replied. “He needs to understand that he’s the only one being coerced here and that it’s not being done by me.”
“Talk all you want, Rowan,” Austin huffed. “I won’t be believin’ your lies anymore.”
I thought about that for a moment. Both of the men were probably correct. Everything I’d been saying was for all intents and purposes being wasted on someone who had already made up his mind that whatever came out of my mouth was one hundred-eighty degrees opposite of the truth.
Of course, I also knew that most of Austin’s attitude, if not all of it, had to be the alcohol talking. He really was a level headed and logical man; right up until a bottle of whisky took hold of his senses. I could only surmise that Shamus had been firmly behind his state of inebriation, effectively putting him into the necessary frame of mind to sway him with the bogus letters. Whether or not it was my father-in-law’s intention for him to come over here and attack me, well that was a matter for debate. While in one sense it wouldn’t surprise me, in another I’m not so certain he would want his hand tipped in my direction just yet.
I finally shook my head and shrugged.
“Yeah, probably not,” I agreed, then looked down and regarded the wet, blood stained towel in my hand. Tossing it onto an end table, I continued to look at my hand for a moment before looking back to my brother-in-law and continuing. “But, do me a favor, Austin. When you dry out, I’ve got a couple of things for you to think over. First, your parents are twenty minutes away. If Felicity really wanted to get away from me, why didn’t she just call them? Or better yet, go over there? Why bother sending letters?”
“If she…”
“Shut up,” I ordered, though my voice remained unruffled. “I’m not finished. You’ve said plenty. It’s my turn.” I paused, and when he didn’t object again I continued. “Now, second, and believe me this is the big one. In fact, this right here is the huge fucking enigma that’s been making my brain hurt ever since you said it. You’re telling me that Felicity sent several letters. Correct?”
“Aye.”
“And I’m guessing since there were several, Shamus got these over a period of time? Weeks? Months? I don’t know, years?”
“Over some time, aye.”
“Why did he wait until now to show them to you?”
He started to reply but didn’t. I could see in his eyes that I’d already set his brain into motion, and what I’d just offered was only a minor point.
“Yeah. Makes you go ‘huh’, doesn’t it?” I said. “In all the times you’ve stood up for me whenever he’s started putting me down or berating me, don’t you think maybe he would have pulled out those letters and proven to you what an evil bastard I am?”
He remained silent, but the look on his face told me I was getting through.
“But, you
know, that’s not even the real kicker. Give this one some serious thought and come up with an answer for me, because my evil, coercive brain just can’t wrap itself around the concept. Why is it Shamus didn’t haul his ass over here to rescue his daughter from me the minute he got that very first letter? Hell, from what you’re saying, apparently she asked him to do just that. What was he waiting for?
“I know if I had a daughter, and I had proof that she was in danger, I really don’t think there’s all that much that could stop me from going to her. And, before you say anything, even if he didn’t feel that he wanted a confrontation with me, why didn’t he take the letters to the police? I mean, according to you ‘sacrifices’ were mentioned. Sounds like evidence of illegal activities to me.”
“Yeah, me too,” Ben agreed.
Austin opened his mouth as if to object but once again stuttered to a stop, never fully forming a single word. Now he was really starting to sober up, and while the passage of time and physical exertion had gone a good way toward that end, I knew my questions had played a large part in yanking him back into reality.
The peal of the telephone suddenly issued from across the room, filling the empty wake that had been left behind my words. While the ringer didn’t physically sound any different than any other time, there somehow seemed to be a particular urgency about it that I just couldn’t explain. Even so, I didn’t bother to turn; I simply continued to stare at my brother-in-law. The second ring echoed through the room and still I didn’t move.
“Do you want me to answer that, Rowan?” Constance asked.
My first inclination was to tell her to let the machine get it. After all, it could very well be Shamus, or even the mystery caller who liked hanging up as opposed to talking. However, that odd feeling of urgency tickled the back of my brain and set me wondering just who might be at the other end of the line.
“Yeah,” I replied, never breaking my gaze.
She stepped around me, picking her way through the still trashed house as she headed for the bookshelves. At my back I heard her pick up the handset, cutting off the ringer in the middle of its clamor for attention.
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